What if parents care about their children but are impatient?

Worry: Since I entered junior high school, my mother feels farther and farther away from her daughter Wei. In the past, children came home to report the school situation. Who forgot to bring homework, who was criticized by the teacher for talking in class ... Mom knows all this. But now when Wei comes home, she will go into her room, lock the door and put a note on the door: Please knock before coming in, thank you. When her mother asked about the school, Wei said perfunctory, "That's all." When you ask too many questions, you will become impatient. What worries her mother more is that Xiao Wei's grades are gradually declining. Every time I analyze the reason with her, she keeps her head down and doesn't talk. She jumped up in a hurry: "I don't know, it's no use forcing me to die." Mother wondered if Wei was in love. After going to school, Wei went into his room with his father, only to find a piece of paper with some of his inner feelings written on it, and felt that life was meaningless. Mom and dad are worried. Guidance: In the process of Wu Rong's psychological consultation, teachers often hear voices from children: I am no longer a child of the past. Why do my parents always distrust me and take care of everything? Children also have a lot of helplessness, grievances, resentment and confusion. 14, 15-year-old boys and girls hate their parents' "peeking" and love to lock a lock in the room. It seems that there are some secrets that should not be made public, or some shady ones. Parents are worried about this. In fact, this is a reflection of their sense of independence and self-esteem. Middle school students entering adolescence have some new psychological changes: with the growth of age, their dependence on their parents is reduced, and their sense of independence is strong, so they hope others will respect their autonomy and independence; With the expansion of life, their hearts have become sensitive, their feelings have become delicate, and many ideas have begun to churn in their hearts. The originally open hearts have gradually closed and they have their own privacy. Moreover, even though they have a lot to say, their views are not consistent with those of their elders, so their psychological communication with their parents is obviously reduced, and they turn to the "beloved diary" or friends of the same age. Therefore, they often use the "lock" to draw the "warning line" of the inner world that others can't enter at will. This sense of independence and self-esteem is a prelude for boys and girls to go to society, which is of great significance to the physical and mental health of adolescent children. However, out of concern and love for their children, some parents often try their best to spy on and detect their children's privacy, which leads to conflicts between the two sides. How to solve such a problem? The crux of the problem is that children and parents have not grasped some new situations brought about by growth. When children grow up, they will naturally have secrets that they don't want to tell others. Although the secrets of children's inner world are right and wrong, they are also normal phenomena in the process of children's growth. Parents should respect this point, and must not be impatient and anxious because their children no longer tell the truth to themselves, hide something from themselves or lock the room as before, and cast a heavy shadow. (Stephany)