In Chinese, the word "contacts" is often followed by the word "wide", as if the more contacts, the better. Generally speaking, people with good connections often know more people, but the opposite is not true.
Why are you networking? To put it bluntly, I just hope that others can bring you some benefits in the future. If you know a lot of people, but they don't want to help you when you need it, what's the advantage of knowing so many people? Therefore, the first rule of the network is to reverse the concept of "heroes by quantity".
2. The basis of personal contacts is your "value of being used"
Most of the "friends" that make up our communication are actually linked based on "exchange of interests". Since it is an interest exchange relationship, how much value you can get back depends on how much value you can give yourself.
Please remember this: the value of contacts has nothing to do with how long you have known him or how many times you have drunk with him. The only thing that matters is how important you are to him. The greater your use value, the more he will help you. It is better to spend time to improve your personal value than to spend time to know more people.
I can think of the value of being used in the following aspects-
Your position power or personal influence;
Your financial resources;
Your wisdom or professional technical ability;
Your personal charm, such as good-looking, humorous and noble personality;
Your interpersonal network;
Your fame.
3. How to "strike up a conversation"
"Talking up" is the basic skill. Let me briefly summarize the methods I used to strike up a conversation:
Do what you want: There is usually a direct reason to strike up a conversation. It's best not to say things like "Let's get to know each other, so many friends, so many ways". Everyone is too busy to make friends aimlessly. You'd better have something specific to find him, which is good for him. For example, if you want to see Jiang Nanchun, you'd better say, "Teacher Jiang, our company wants to do outdoor advertising. Can we meet and talk to you? "
Customer introduction: find a middleman and let him introduce you. The other party usually sells a face.
Naturally: create some opportunities that look "natural" and get to know someone without utility. For example, when attending a dinner party, deliberately sit next to the person you want to know. When you attend a meeting, first say hello to the friend you know, and then he will usually introduce you to the person you are chatting with.
Clear goal: aimless conversation is a waste of time for both sides. Before you act, you must think clearly about who you want to know. Don't act if you don't think well.
4. From "knowledge" to "familiarity"
Chatting up can only solve the problem of "understanding". People who are really valuable to you are "familiar". How to achieve this leap? You'd better have at least one "deep communication".
My definition of deep communication is roughly as follows:
The minimum talk time shall not be less than 1 hour;
At the same time, the number of attendees generally does not exceed 4;
We're not just talking about work. It would be great if we could talk about personal experiences and world outlook values.
An in-depth communication is worth countless casual acquaintances. When you successfully strike up a conversation with a person, it is best to invite him for in-depth communication once a month. You can invite him out for coffee, visit him in his office, or have dinner together.
Some people like to participate in "entertainment" and mix "circles". I did this when I was a reporter, but I basically stopped doing it later because the input-output ratio was very low. It is best to control the number of people eating within four, and there is no effective information when more than four people speak.
5. Networking is investment, not consumption.
The biggest difference between investment products and consumer goods is that we will not "consume" investment products easily. For example, we have 10000 shares of Alibaba, and we expect its price to reach $200, so we will definitely keep all these shares.
Networking is also an investment. What is the investment target? It is "face". Face is equivalent to stocks in the online market. Giving someone a face is equivalent to buying 1 shares issued by him. When you need it, you can ask him to give you a face back, which is equivalent to selling the stock.
If the stock is thrown away, it will be gone. Don't use it easily. Use it once and it will be less. If you can solve it with money, try to solve it directly with money. If you can't solve it with money, try to save face. For example, when Cao Cao was kind to Guan Yu, Guan Yu wanted to repay him, and Cao Cao didn't want to live or die. Later, Cao Cao lost Huarong Road and Guan Yu was ordered to rob it. At this time, Cao Cao asked Guan Yu to pay him back, and Guan Yu had to let him live.
Of course, since it is an investment, there are ups and downs. It may be that you are blind, you give others face, and they don't give it when you want it, which is equivalent to your stock falling.
6. Less "flattery" and more "mutual assistance" and "support"
In the online market, those celebrities and high-end people are like hot stocks. Everyone wants it, but the threshold is too high. How can small investors cling to them? Even if you spend a lot of money to buy tickets for a press conference, or even take a photo with Mr. Ma at the scene, what can you do? Buttering up to this matter costs the most and gains the least. My suggestion is to do as little as possible.
We should invest in two kinds of people most. The first category is people at our level. Our social status is close, our life stages are close, and we have the greatest intersection when doing things. We have an equal "mutual assistance" relationship. Actually? Pan Changke? Have you ever said the names Manet, Cezanne, Monet, Renoir and pissarro? They are all famous impressionist painters. 150 years ago, they often gathered in the Garbova Cafe in Paris. * * * created a new school of impressionism, and * * * shared the reputation of a world-class painter.
The second category should invest in people who are slightly lower than our social status, such as subordinates and young people, and we should try our best to "support" them. If a person wants to go up, he needs not only the support from above, but also the support from below. Without any power, you can't get on. Chiang Kai-shek was promoted by Sun Yat-sen in his early years, but his position was not stable because he lacked the following people to support him. Later, when Chiang Kai-shek became the president of Whampoa Military Academy, he had his own team, which was the basis. Supporting people who are lower than themselves is like buying potential stocks at a low price, which can really make people earn a lot of money.
7. Make good use of the "platform" and get twice the result with half the effort.
The platform I'm talking about here refers to a career that allows you to gain greater social contact. Typical platforms include:
Media reporter;
Staff of chambers of commerce, industry associations or entrepreneurs' clubs;
Staff of non-governmental organizations;
Trainers and consultants;
Civil servants.
In fact, the number of "platforms" far exceeds that listed above, and all occupations that need to deal with people basically have platform attributes. For example, salespeople can establish contact networks with customers, marketers can establish contact networks with agencies, and buyers can establish contact networks with suppliers.
On the other hand, those who have a "platform" behind them are also worthy of making friends, and we can connect to the social network behind them through him.
Kissinger, the most famous American diplomat, is very good at using the platform to manage his contacts. During his teaching at Harvard University, he presided over a summer program of "International Seminar". Every year, young leaders from all over the world come to Harvard to attend this seminar, many of whom later became famous? @ Hector's big shots, such as Japanese Prime Minister Yasuhiro Zenggen, French President Destin, Israeli President Iguad Aron, Turkish Prime Minister Evish, Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir, and many others later became either rich or expensive. In addition, Kissinger also presided over an academic quarterly called Integration, and he used this media platform to make contributions to great people and made many celebrities.
However, it should be added here that although the platform is of great help to Kissinger, it is only a stepping stone. Kissinger can make friends with these people mainly because of his profound knowledge, which is the value of his being used.
8. Rational allocation of "investment portfolio"
Professional investors will invest their capital in different types of assets, thus forming a "portfolio", which is also applicable to business contacts.
Since it is a combination, how should personal assets be classified? This is how I divide it-
Friends without interests: such as classmates, neighbors, playmates, girlfriends, you don't have to think much about getting along with them, just be the most authentic and eye-catching yourself;
Work communication: For example, colleagues and external partners in the company need not be too close, just keep a "comfortable distance", which will make people feel too close;
Supporting contacts: For example, your subordinates and your optimistic young people are the driving force for your future development, so you should give them more help and guidance;
Support contacts: for example, recognize your leaders, give you guidance, and be optimistic about your boss, but it is more important that you try not to ask them for help, talk to them more, learn more about their ways of doing things, and learn their methods of analyzing problems;
Horizontal connections: They may have no interest in you, but they are very helpful to expand your knowledge, such as friends from other industries and golfers who play ball together.
It is best to have all the above types of contacts in your portfolio. If we know 100 people, I think the reasonable ratio is as follows:
Friends who are not interested: 5 people
Work contact: 65 people
Support contact: 15 people
Support contact: 5 people
Horizontal contact: 10 people
9. What is not desirable is all-round exquisiteness, but being a person with personality.
Some people think that "talking to people and telling lies" means being a man and making friends, which I quite disagree with. If you always like to cater to others, then you can only make friends with those who like to listen to flattery. What do these people have to associate with? If you always listen to others, what is your value?
As all brands know, brands should have a "positioning". In fact, each of us also has a personal brand, but we call it "word of mouth". If we want to get good marketing effect in the online market, we should also have a positioning, which is our "personality".
There is a saying that "flowers bloom and fall, and the breeze comes." As long as we make up our minds to be ourselves and live hard according to our own ideas, it will naturally radiate an aura and attract those who recognize us.
Some people may say, "Too personal, you may lose some friends who don't know yourself." I said, brother, you don't have them at all. What's the loss? More than half a sentence, why do you have to twist yourself to meet them? If you want everyone to like you, there is only one result in the end, and that is that everyone doesn't care about you.
I have lived personally for more than 30 years. Not only do I have many friends, I don't even have a cold.
10, cherish character, and the circle is very small.
The first nine items are a little utilitarian, and finally 1 talk about personality. In fact, I think this is the most important thing to make contacts, so I will stay at the end.
I still take stocks as an example. If the value being used is your profit, then your character is equivalent to the price-earnings ratio, and your network value is the product of the value being used and the value of your character. In other words, the better your personality, the more you can get in return if your use value is certain. Personality is a lever, which can double your value and reduce your value.
In this era of big data, the circle is so small that you can't think of it, and the spread of word of mouth is so fast that you can't think of it. A few times, I received a WeChat from someone who couldn't contact me and asked me what I thought of an employee who used to work for me.
Come out and hang out, and you'll have to pay it back one day.