When I was a novice mother, I didn't want to have a second child because of my inexperience, the pursuit of perfection, and the hardship and economic pressure of pregnancy. Fortunately, my husband insisted on having a second child, which made me enjoy the achievements and happiness of being a mother in self-confidence and self-growth.
Nowadays, parenting articles are flying all over the sky, and articles with different arguments and viewpoints can be seen one after another at any time. It seems that everyone has a point, but mutually exclusive practices and ideas often make parents both anxious and worried. Are they taught this way to help their children? Or will it hurt him?
The two sons are now in Grade One and Grade Three respectively, and they are adolescent children who are disgusted by many parents. Some parents look back and think that infants are nothing compared with adolescents. It turns out that children at that time were really angels, and adolescent children were demons.
Is that really the case? Are children jumping between icebergs and volcanoes demons? Or an elf?
Children will rebel against their parents when they reach puberty. In addition to declaring your independence, it is more important to prove that you are growing. If the child is growing up, but parents don't make adjustments with the child, of course, they will feel that the child is rebellious, disobedient, unlovable, ungrateful and even hateful.
But is this a child's problem or a parent's problem?
Children will grow up, and parents will naturally adjust their practices and mentality as their children grow up. They can't always ask grown-up children to perform as usual with old scripts. This is so unrealistic!
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Think back to taking pictures of children. You should take pictures of children when they are babies. Without your instruction, the children themselves will constantly take pictures of you, and they will try their best to see if you can take a good picture. They were really cute at that time. But now, when you face adolescent children with a mobile phone or camera, they often say stop filming! Not only is the tone bad, but it may even give you a bad look. You pick up the broken blx, and you want to turn it into a weapon to stab children, calling them heartless and ungrateful?
Children will grow up and their parents will change accordingly. We should respect children's independence and privacy, and ask their wishes before dealing with things related to children. Growing children can discuss, but they cannot control and interfere at will.
Parents and children are family members destined to live, study and grow together, not enemies who hate and torture each other.
Good living habits can make education more effective. In the face of adolescent children, the more parents say, the easier it is for children to be disgusted. Parents should set an example and leave space and time for their children to think.
Life is always like this, there is no eternal beauty and smoothness, just like raising children is not always taken for granted. However, when children develop good living habits, it is like an anchor of life. Even if children occasionally protest and provoke when they grow up to adolescence, they can quickly stabilize the pace of family life and let children focus on cultivating their own abilities and strength instead of resisting their parents.
On the second day of school, the eldest son of Grade Three completed the mock exam of Book Five. When he came home, he said, "Mom, I feel that I didn't do very well in the Chinese exam because I was groggy!" " I said, "Never mind! Just relax after the exam! " He asked, "Do you want to answer first?" I said, "You can answer no first; Write wrong, correct it! 」
After dinner, he cried at the answer, feeling that he had made some mistakes, maybe only five A4's and five+'s. I said, "I'm sad if I don't do well in the exam, right?" "He said," yes! I said, "Then you are sad. Think about how you got out of that depression when you took the 4A1B10 exam last time! Children have experienced many things since they grew up! Sometimes, instead of analyzing some major truths with him, it is better to extract energy from your own successful experience of facing setbacks to heal yourself. I touched his head and let him feel his mother's support and strength with him.
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"We are a family", and the belief together will help and support each other. It will make families appreciate each other and cooperate with each other. This is the belief that I have always conveyed in my book Elegant Education: Listening, Companionship, Love, and Teaching You to Read Children's Hearts. When the family can feel that we are a family, we can get along well together and communicate well, many problems will not be a big problem!
Parenting should be more and more smooth, not the older the child, the more tired it is. Parents must settle their hearts, make home a safe haven for children, and make good habits in life an anchor for parents and children. In the process of children's growth, what children need is the trust and support of their parents, not meticulous persuasion and care, so that they can let go of their bondage and grow up calmly. I wish every family can find a happy way to get along!
Shang Ruijun's love? Listen. Interpretation of heart authorization reprint