Once, I had such a fear, afraid of loneliness and getting along.
Later, I found that being alone is a very comfortable thing, and it is rare to enjoy such a time. Sometimes, when you are alone, you can find another self.
It is not difficult to get along, as long as two people understand each other, respect each other and tolerate each other ~
Don't worry, what are you worried about ~
One person is afraid of loneliness, two people are afraid of getting along, and the feelings are repeated, and the feelings seem to be absent.
This is your own psychological contradiction, not caused by others. You may have social phobia, or you have been introverted since childhood and don't like getting along with people.
You should take part in more social activities. You can start with friends, have tea with friends, play games in Internet cafes, go out for a walk and make more friends. If you don't want to be lonely, you can summon up courage to go out.
Tony Utes said:
For me, love is such a situation that it can satisfy the loved one to be alone.
"I can satisfy my loved ones to be alone", which is also my best mode of getting along.
Garcia Marquez once said:
Life never leaves loneliness and exists independently.
Whether we are born, we grow up, we love each other or we succeed or fail, until the end, loneliness exists in a corner of life like a shadow.
Everyone who appears in our life can only walk with us for a while. More often, they are walking alone.
In her new book, I Dare to Be Alone in Your Arms, Rene Liu discusses the relationship between being alone and getting along with friends, and the book also shows her unique way of getting along with her husband after marriage.
Because she has lived alone for many years, she has developed the habit of being alone.
In her home, she and her husband have their own bedroom and study. You can go out with your husband at the same time, but go to different cinemas to see the movies you want.
Most people may think that this will make the relationship between husband and wife uneasy, and they will feel nervous and afraid that their relationship will be unsustainable. However, she and her husband enjoy this way of getting along.
As she said in the book:
A truly mature and beautiful relationship is that it doesn't matter if two people have nothing to say for a while. If they are relatively speechless, they will be silent for a while and can lie quietly in each other's arms, which is very lonely. This is the ultimate expression of mutual trust and the highest level.
Osho said:
"Only you have the ability to be alone, you have the ability to love. This sounds contradictory, but it is not the case.
This is an existing fact: only those who have the ability to be alone have the ability to love, share and walk into the deepest part of another person's heart-
Will not be eager to possess each other, will not rely on each other, will not restrict each other like a still life, and will not need each other like being possessed.
So they give each other absolute freedom, because they know that even if the other person leaves, they will still be happy. Your own happiness will not be deprived by the other party, because happiness is not given by the other party. "
Loneliness is innate. What we have to do is not to fight, but to learn how to live in harmony with it all our lives.
A person who can accept loneliness must be a person with strong heart, independent thinking and unique charm.
Ouyang Yu's in the myth of single said:
In love or marriage, if both men and women feel unhappy, the reasons can be summarized as follows: lack of singles.
Repeatedly verifying whether the other person loves you or not, and relying too much on the other person's external expression, this is a manifestation of emotional self-confidence;
Expect the other party to give you more money, mostly because your own economic strength is not proportional to your desire to buy;
When the other party cheats or breaks up, you indulge in pain because you lack the strength to say goodbye and the courage to start a new relationship. ...
You know, even if we are in love and married, each of us is still an independent individual, and we still have the ability to live a single life, take care of ourselves properly and make ourselves happy.
Before he (she) arrives, may we all have a good time.
Everyone has a psychological need to be understood and loved, so a person will feel lonely and want someone to accompany him.
However, everyone's communication skills and behavior patterns when getting along with others are very different.
Some people can make people around them feel comfortable, while others, like thorns on their bodies, will make you uncomfortable and feel pain when you get close.
Pursuing happiness is human instinct; It is also human instinct to escape pain.
So "one person is afraid of loneliness, and two people are afraid of getting along." The psychological explanation of this problem is: on the one hand, you want to escape the pain of loneliness, you want to pursue the happiness of companionship and love, but on the other hand, you want to escape the pain brought by two people when they get along-there are contradictions in getting along, and contradictions bring pain.
Suggestion: Find out the causes of contradictions when two people get along with each other, improve their communication skills and empathy, and let themselves feel each other's feelings more.
In addition, if it is another person's problem, which causes the contradiction between the two people, then try to make him change. If he can't change, go and get along with others.
In fact, I am also such a person.
But I think it's good.
In fact, to put it bluntly, I didn't meet the right person.
I didn't like the opposite sex before
Even to the point of disgust.
But it's much better now.
Not annoying
dislike
It doesn't matter whether you come or leave.
I am a passive person, super passive.
If you don't come to my world, then we have no fate in this life.
Leave it to fate, son.
In feelings, there are two situations: fear of getting along and fear of facing: either self-confidence or injury.
Let's say we're not confident. If two people really love each other, I hope you can exercise your sense of responsibility and dedication, talk less and do more, so that the other person can feel your sincerity and feel "excusable" with you.
If two people are always afraid of being hurt again because they have been hurt in the process of getting along, then ask yourself first: Do I still love him or her? At this time, you should be prepared for all kinds of results. Even if you encounter similar contradictions or disagreements in the future, are you prepared for the worst? In other words, we must accept all kinds of results, understand that we have the ability to deal with these phenomena, explain more and communicate more, in order to believe that the relationship between two people is getting better and better. Sometimes, without quarreling feelings, two people are more tired to maintain, because they are both thinking of each other and trying to converge their temperament. Once they don't tolerate each other that day, they will blush.
Just a family statement, for reference only!
I
A person is afraid of loneliness.
Both of them dare not get along.
What is this for?
I can't say for sure.
The pressure of survival is too great.
Personal space is crowded.
There is no room for a bed.
Looking up at the eagle proudly hovering in the sky.
My little sparrow really lives in the fork.
A bird can never fly high.
As a matter of fact, I already know.
Anyone can have their own dreams.
Who doesn't have his own cliffs and promontories?
Want to insert the wings of an eagle.
Everyone wants to run to their own coordinates.
But this long marathon.
In other words, you insist
No, I still live a degenerate life.
So there is the so-called loneliness.
That's why I want to talk to people.
But look at the people around you
That noble head
That arrogant look.
More of a sneer.
A little sympathy and pity.
With some indifference and prejudice
Appear unnatural
These vivid faces
Let me stay again.
I have no courage to speak.
All that's left is inner fear.
Will I be marginalized?
I'm really scared
separate
Even a person's home.
Seems to be back to the origin of thinking.
The ideal fullness can't compare with the realistic bone feeling.
Life doesn't need to be clear.
all
This is all due to investigation and rare confusion.
A person's loneliness must be borne, because people are born lonely, and no one can really walk into your heart. Since you are destined to be lonely, you must face it. Moreover, only when people are lonely will they be inspired and have an epiphany. Loneliness can bring many unexpected gains! Two people are afraid of getting along, and getting along here is definitely a secular intolerable relationship. If it's so horrible to get along like this, why get along? I'd rather choose loneliness! When a person comes into this world, it is destined to come and go alone. This is the ultimate fate! No one can accompany you all the time. ...
Seriously, when we grow up, everyone will feel lonely and can spend more time with friends and participate in social activities. Find a goal in life and pay it unswervingly; Traveling will be much more enjoyable. In this way, that kind of depression can be alleviated. There are many reasons for being afraid of being together. 1, you haven't tried, so you don't understand. 2. You are not sure whether the person you want to be with likes it or not. 3, you worry too much ... I don't know what kind of person you are, but I just want to say that it doesn't matter if you are not ready to fall in love, because you have to learn how to get along and how to love. But if, just to send away loneliness, such love may not be happy, it needs greater efforts, and it may also be greatly hurt. Be happy, remember, you are not alone, at least your family will always care about you and your friends will accompany you. Occasionally, I can find something meaningful to do in my own time, and my life can be very fulfilling. I wish you happiness.