Investigation time: August1~ August 3 1.
Survey object: parents and teenagers. Survey method: interview.
First, find the problem.
With the development of the times and the progress of society, people pay more and more attention to children's education, and farmers' ideological consciousness is also improved imperceptibly, so is children's higher education. But in addition to the exam-oriented education in schools, family education has also brought more and more educational disadvantages.
(A) Several extreme methods of investigation: interview.
First, find the problem.
With the development of the times and the progress of society, people pay more and more attention to children's education, and farmers' ideological consciousness is also improved imperceptibly, so is children's higher education. But in addition to the exam-oriented education in schools, family education has also brought more and more educational disadvantages.
Several extreme educational methods
1 blind type
Some parents blindly believe that they must read more books, do more problems and attend cram schools ... The schedule is full, and they simply don't consider the combination of work and rest for their children, and make purposeful and planned study plans according to their own conditions. Parents only know how to make money to meet their children's learning, blindly ask their children according to their own wishes, and let them complete their unfinished or unfinished dreams, which eventually makes their children lose their independent ability and can only listen to their parents' blind command.
2 Drift with flow type
The so-called 360 lines make a difference, but some parents just hope that their children can make a difference in these 360 lines and train their children into omnipotent modern talents. But in today's society, ordinary people account for the majority, and the so-called superman like that is limited after all. It's easy to turn ordinary people's children into superman. According to the survey, this 18-year-old girl signed up for many classes at her mother's will. In addition to going to school after class, she will have an Olympic math class on Wednesday afternoon, an English class on Friday afternoon, a dance class on Saturday morning, an oral English class with foreign students in the afternoon, a piano class on Sunday morning and a swimming class in the afternoon. When I was only eight years old, I lost the happiness of my childhood and spent every day like this. The little girl is unhappy and doesn't like some musical instruments, but she must learn them because her mother told her to. The reason given by her mother is that everyone else learns and we can't lag behind others. If we want to be better than others, we must know more than others.
3 laissez-faire type
Money is not everything, but you can't do anything without money. Some parents try their best to make money so that their children can have a better tomorrow. They are busy with their work and career, adopt a policy of indifference to their children, completely give them freedom, but ignore how important love is to them. Maybe some children are persistent enough to learn to be independent and become strong in life. But for some children with strong self-reliance and weak will, the lack of fatherly love and maternal love may cast a shadow on their hearts, and they will feel abandoned. Under the temptation of the outside world, they go astray, and some may go to the point of no return and become problem of juvenile. Some parents think that children's performance depends entirely on congenital genetic factors, and has nothing to do with the education of acquired parents. Everything is predestined, so they don't care about their children's tutoring. Three points are predestined, and seven points depend on hard work. Such parents can only be said to be irresponsible.
(B) A few negative learning degrees
1 Be obedient
Some students have been strictly educated by their parents since childhood, and they will be criticized if they are slightly disobedient. Over time, their own resistance will be exhausted. Parents' words are like imperial edicts. They do whatever they are told, and they depend entirely on their parents for what they are not allowed to do. But this is not a long-term solution. Parents always leave us, and everything depends on ourselves.
2 laissez-faire type
I remember one of my classmates, from primary school to junior high school, has been among the best in academic performance and has become the darling of teachers and classmates. It would be nice to keep going like this, but after all, there are mountains outside the mountains and people outside. When I was in high school in the county, I met many opponents, all of whom were better than her. This treatment seems to have changed from heaven to hell. How can she stand such an experience? She always thought that others looked down on her and laughed at her, and she gave up halfway because she couldn't stand it. 3 types of broken cans and broken rates
Some students with poor qualifications have not achieved the expected results after their efforts the day after tomorrow, or their grades are average and there is no improvement, so they give up on their own initiative and stop insisting, holding the idea that I can't do it. From good to bad, it can only get worse every day, and gradually start to get tired of learning, start to play truant, and eventually lead to dropping out of school. Some are addicted to the internet and even embark on the road of illegal crimes. The facts also confirm this. The proportion of juvenile delinquency is high, and there are countless dropouts.
Second, analyze the problem.
(A) parental analysis
1 It is not advisable for parents to oppress their children blindly. Such children live under a high-pressure policy since childhood, which is not conducive to the healthy development of body and mind. Imagine putting pressure on children from the time they are a little sensible. If they live in such an atmosphere every day, who can stand it? They can only listen to the arrangement, and have no courage or time to dream their own dreams, let alone exercise their own way of survival. Slowly, they may even lose themselves and have to rely on their parents.
For parents who give their children "independence" completely, it seems extreme to think that children should cultivate self-awareness from an early age, rely on themselves in everything, and adopt a policy of ignoring them accordingly. What children need most is the love of their parents. Parents' neglect will make children mistakenly think that no one has loved them since childhood, leaving a shadow in their hearts. Without this greatest love, they will feel lonely and have negative emotions of autism. This is not a long-term solution.
(B) Youth analysis
1 Children who have lived under the umbrella of their parents for a long time are accustomed to the days of "not listening to things outside the window and concentrating on reading sage books". They have parents to take care of everything, so they don't have to worry about themselves, just live their lives comfortably, just follow their parents' instructions step by step, and don't need to set big goals and ideals by themselves. These are all too tired. Some parents are too strong and their opposition is invalid, so they have to yield in obscurity and take the road arranged by their parents.
Nowadays, left-behind children have also become a hot issue of social concern. I have lived with my grandparents since I was a child, and I haven't seen my parents for a year or even years. It seems that reuniting with parents has become the dream of these children. They yearn for their parents' love from the bottom of their hearts, but this is what they lack, which makes them feel that they are always living on the edge of helplessness and loneliness. They don't want to communicate with others, and they have developed the habit of being withdrawn. They live in the shadow of insecurity for a long time and cannot get a good family education. This is the lack of parents.
Third, solve the problem.
(A) to solve the problems of parents
1 Understanding children As they get older, parents cannot fully understand their children. The great success of teenagers' rebellious psychology has a great relationship with parents' ideological differences on their children, which leads to a growing generation gap. At this time, parents should not go their own way, educate their children completely according to their own wishes, make concessions accordingly, solve problems peacefully, listen to their children's voices as good listeners and help them as friends.
2 respect children
Everyone knows that the role of strength is mutual, and so is respect. If you want others to respect yourself, you must first learn to respect others, as do parents and children. Although children, they also have self-esteem and respect. Parents don't care about their children's feelings and let them do things they don't want to do. This is a kind of rebellious psychology, and parents don't get the respect they deserve.
(2) solving children's problems
1 empathy
Impulse is the devil. Teenagers are the most easily excited and emotionally unstable. During the period of rebellious judgment, it is inevitable to have conflicts with parents, but we must take the word "forbearance" as the first priority and learn to put ourselves in the other's shoes. Don't ignore your parents' words. Everything parents do is for their own good! Calm down and think about their original intentions from the standpoint of their parents. After all, their social experience is very rich. Don't waste your parents' efforts! Even if our parents' methods are unreasonable, we should sit down calmly and negotiate with our parents and reason with them, so as to reach an agreement and solve the problem together.
2 Establish friendship
Although there is a generation gap, friendship has no boundaries. I think the friendship between children and parents is the most precious. On the premise of understanding and respecting parents, treat parents as close friends, share happiness with parents, share pain with parents, and have parents to help solve problems. Why not?