? 19, Kim Jong-hyun, a member of Korean pop singer SHINee, committed suicide after leaving a desperate suicide note, which made people feel sad.
Excerpt from Kim Jonghyun's suicide note.
? Another young and talented life ended like this. For the moment we saw the news, it was a news event. However, if the time is extended a little longer, the suicide of celebrities due to depression will no longer be news. It is precisely because they are celebrities that their abnormal deaths will attract more attention from the society. And around us, there are too many silent lives that end silently with their own hands.
I have read the following articles about suicide and depression. Among them, an article published by People's Daily Online, "Depression is rampant around the world", provides information that according to the statistics of the World Health Organization, the global incidence of depression is about 1 1%, and about 340 million people worldwide suffer from depression. At present, depression has become the fourth largest disease in the world, and it is predicted that it will become the second largest disease after heart disease in 2020.
? According to the article, depression will become the main killer of human beings in 2 1 century. Among the critically ill patients, 15% will choose suicide to end their lives, and 2/3 of them have thought of suicide. The number of people who commit suicide due to depression is estimated to be as high as 1 10,000 every year.
According to the official statistics of "20 1 6" in Sohu.com, there are1depression patients in every 13 people in China! & lt "The Essential Manual for Depression > Tell You What to Do" reveals that there are nearly 1 100 million patients with depression in China. One in every 13 people suffers from depression. The depression rate is less than 10%.
(2) Depression is a mental cold, and everyone may get it.
We may feel that depression is terrible, and we may feel that depression is far away from us. What are the clinical symptoms of depression? The author once again turned to Baidu's summary and selected several main aspects.
1, depressed
Patients feel heavy, life is boring, unhappy, unhappy, miserable and unable to extricate themselves. Some patients may also be anxious, excitable and nervous.
? lose interest
Lost the enthusiasm and fun of life and work in the past, and lost interest in anything. I don't feel happy with my family, I don't care about my past hobbies, I often live alone, alienate my relatives and friends, and avoid socializing. Patients often complain of "no feelings", "emotional numbness" and "unhappy"
? 3. Energy loss
? Tiredness, washing, dressing and other small things in life are difficult and laborious. Patients often use "nervous breakdown" and "frustrated ball" to describe their illness.
4. Self-evaluation:
Patients tend to belittle their abilities too much and look at their present, past and future with a critical, negative and negative attitude, which is neither good nor right. They say they are useless and their future is dark. Strong sense of self-blame, guilt, uselessness, worthlessness and helplessness. In severe cases, the concepts of self-guilt and hypochondriasis may appear.
5. Physical or biological symptoms:
Depression patients often have biological symptoms such as loss of appetite, weight loss, sleep disorder, sexual dysfunction, and day and night mood swings, which are very common, but not every case appears.
? These manifestations are the clinical summary of patients with depression who go to the hospital for treatment. The patients who go to the hospital are basically very serious. People with depression basically go to the hospital when they feel hopeless and their symptoms have seriously affected their lives.
For patients with depression who go to the hospital for medical treatment, at present, the most commonly used treatment method in hospitals is to prescribe antidepressants or suggest hospitalization. Its purpose is to prevent patients from committing suicide. But at present, there is no good prescription to improve the symptoms of depression, especially to treat the root causes of depression. Therefore, the recurrence rate of depression is very high, and many patients with depression end up committing suicide or living in a mental hospital.
? I have to say that we know too little about depression, an old friend of mankind.
Many people with depression have those feelings, such as self-blame, guilt, uselessness, worthlessness, helplessness, loss of interest in life, loss of goals, loss and so on. Everyone has experienced it, but the degree is heavy.
? When the degree is serious, we define it as depression. When the degree is still light, we call it negative emotions and negative feelings.
Negative emotions and negative feelings are human experiences. Just as each of us has two eyes and a nose, each of us is born with negative emotions and feelings.
? Christopher Meng (Canada), the author of Intimacy-a Bridge to the Soul, believes that everyone's core beliefs are formed in infancy, which stems from our recognition of fragile bodies. A little baby came into this world, and he was completely blank. As his brain developed slowly, he began to accumulate knowledge about the world. However, his understanding of the world is first based on his recognition of his fragile body. When his needs are not answered and met at the first time (no baby's needs can always be answered and met at the first time), he will feel great fear and helplessness, repeat this experience many times, and begin to establish a series of core beliefs about his weakness, weakness, unimportant, unloved, not good enough, loneliness and helplessness in his brain.
These core beliefs are established at the age of one and a half, and are all completed before the age of seven. However, it is too difficult for disadvantaged children to face these core beliefs. That fear is as big as death. In order to protect themselves from survival, children also develop a set of defense mechanisms so that they will not face those uncomfortable feelings.
Therefore, almost at the same time as these beliefs came into being, the human defense mechanism began to be established. Therefore, almost all people don't like being criticized and feel defeated, unpopular and isolated. We try to make everything perfect. We believe that if we work hard enough, we can do everything well and get the recognition and appreciation we want. But when no matter how hard we try, we still don't get a good result, or we don't get good grades and the appreciation and recognition we want, we will become very depressed, complain about others, blame ourselves and fall into a deep sense of worthlessness. It is also possible that we achieved good results through hard work and got the appreciation, affirmation and praise we wanted. However, none of this will satisfy us or make us peaceful. We believe that we need to redouble our efforts and make greater achievements in the next step to ensure that the affirmation and appreciation we have gained today will not be lost. In the long run, more and more pressure and tight strings will make us completely collapse sooner or later.
So we find that many people who encounter life variables are depressed, because those negative events in life make them feel deeply frustrated and worthless, and the core belief of that human being is deeply inspired. But at the same time, we also find that many so-called successful people at the peak of their lives are also depressed. Because the more successful you are, the more afraid you are of failure, and the more successful you are, the more you keep putting pressure on yourself. Success can't banish people's worthless core beliefs. On the contrary, all efforts and achievements based on compensation are just strengthening their worthless core beliefs. I believe that I am useless, but it is terrible for me to accept this, so I want to bury this belief through my continuous success. Even though I have just made remarkable achievements at the last minute, if I fail in the next minute's game, I still have to face myself as useless, so I must ensure success every time. However, just as the game is getting harder and harder to advance, the difficulty of success is gradually increasing. In the end, so are we.
It is terrible to fall into depression with nowhere to escape. Based on this, more and more medical workers and psychologists are studying how to resist depression. However, anti-depression is actually treating depression as an enemy, that is, treating depressed people as victims or problems, which will only strengthen this person's worthless core belief, so the actual situation is that the more anti-depression, the more depressed, because most of us are going in the wrong direction.
(3) Depression is not our enemy, and patients with depression are not victims.
? There is an American film called My Melancholy Youth (also translated as My First Experience as a Girl), which is based on a real-life biography.
? The story tells the story of a girl whose parents are divorced. Her mother is very strong and good-looking. She tries to train the girl well and prove to her mother (the woman's grandmother) that she is great. Father is a scum man who abandoned her mistress and mother because of an affair. Mother hates her husband very much, and often blames her father for not loving him, not giving alimony and not letting her daughter contact her father in front of her children. If she finds out that her daughter is in contact with her father, her mother will lose control and fly into a rage.
? The hostess was very unhappy from an early age and had a very low sense of self-worth. She often relieves her pain by hurting herself when she is in extreme pain. Later, because she wrote a story about herself and her parents, she was very successful and got the admission notice from Harvard University. Mother feels very happy, and the hostess herself feels very happy. After going to school, she fully demonstrated her talents and won the literary medal of Harvard University.
? Just when the child's mood improved, the father who abandoned his wife and daughter went to school with a new love, which once again stimulated the pain of being abandoned and worthless. Because of this, the woman suffered from depression, could not continue to create, and was extremely painful inside, so she began to do psychological counseling.
? After insisting on psychological counseling for one year, the hostess fell into greater depression because of emotional frustration and began to take "Prozac" antidepressants. After a period of drug treatment, the superficial symptoms have been alleviated, and the mood seems to be stable, but the inner pain has intensified. The woman attempted suicide in the counselor's studio and began to lose confidence in psychological counseling and drugs. I went home and began to write the novel My Melancholy Youth, recording my mental journey and finally getting out of depression.
I clearly remember the last monologue of the hostess, what can save me? Harvard University? Psychological counseling? Prozac? Neither. The ultimate salvation is herself. When he began to lose confidence in all this, when she began to write her autobiographical novels, she began to face the darkest side of her heart, and she began to face the core beliefs of human beings that she had been trying to avoid. It really sank, sinking to the core of that kind of pain, and then the illusion disappeared and the reality itself appeared.
Unfortunately, the woman didn't know there was such a road running in the middle. She just accidentally hit the road. So many people read the novel or the movie, but they can't interpret this very important and valuable information from it.
My teacher, Christopher Meng, said in his book "Rediscovering Yourself" that when he taught all over the world for 20 years and became a popular world-class spiritual teacher, he was deeply frightened every time he came down from the course, and he felt that he would fail next time. He will be abandoned by his students next time. He is not that good at all. In this way, as a world-class spiritual mentor, he was depressed.
It was also because of such an opportunity that he woke up and made an amazing discovery. He found that those worthless, lonely and heartbreaking core experiences are owned by all mankind, not because of how we were treated in childhood, but because of our fragile physical identity. The core of those experiences is pure energy, and there is no difference between good and bad. It is our rejection and judgment of this core experience that has plunged us into the abyss of suffering, and all our energy has been spent on it. If we don't judge, don't fight, and experience and observe feelings from the center, the true face of these energies will naturally appear before us, and we will experience real peace, tranquility, joy and unconditional love at the core of pain.
? It was after that awakening experience that the teacher wrote the book "Rediscovering Self", which created a brand-new personal growth support system for intimate relationships, so that people could jump out of the story with a pair of eyes after the so-called negative events, see the core experience below the story, and consciously relax into this experience until the experience was truly peaceful and the process was completed.
This is an amazing discovery. In the past ten years, this method of teachers has supported many people to bid farewell to depression and unhappiness and experience real happiness and freedom in life.
People often ask me, what should my family and friends do if they get depression?
I found a trap hidden under this problem. Maybe this is something that many people will not find. If our family members or friends suffer from depression, we actually fall into great anxiety and panic. At this time, it is most important to accompany yourself. Because in anxiety and panic, what we want to do is to save depressed people. We really want to cheer him up as soon as possible. We really want to teach him. What we do is also to strengthen his inner belief that he is worthless and not good enough.
Therefore, only by letting yourself accompany your inner fears, seeing that your beliefs are untrue, and returning to the center of inner peace, will you give this kind of patient love, respect and trust.
At that time, we will see that this important person in our life, he feels depressed, no problem, he feels bad, no problem. We can accompany her depression and her sense of worthlessness, but we don't want to change or save him.
Depressed patients, what makes her deeply depressed, is actually losing contact with the world. This kind of loss is not a formal loss, but my heart, and my pain cannot be understood. Then, the essence of losing contact with the world is that you have lost contact with your own heart and feelings for a long time. It's not that others don't understand, but that you don't know what's wrong with you. The reason for this is that he doesn't understand and dare not touch his inner unhappiness and unhappiness, because it is really terrible. They are caught in a dark cloud of depression, struggling with it desperately, but they can't relax and can only watch it drift by. The best support for patients with depression is that we become his role model in the sense of connection. By constantly returning to our inner feelings, we bravely connect with our inner feelings. To treat such an emotion, we don't preach, but set an example for him with our actions. In this way, we will be able to support him best. Through our demonstration, we will have the courage and strength to face depression, to face the fear of inner beliefs that are not good enough, to face its darkest side, and then to see the dark clouds of depression through his own face and see how perfect he is.
? It's just that most people don't know how to connect feelings This part needs professional intimate relationship instructors to guide and train. People who are really depressed are very persistent in their beliefs. To achieve the same effect, it takes several times of time and energy, as well as the support and cooperation of their families. In fact, what really makes us say goodbye to depression and live a real inner happiness is that every ordinary person participates in learning and training and how to connect with our feelings, because everyone is likely to be depressed and everyone has negative emotions and feelings. Starting early and starting our emotional growth and maturity with the support of an enlightened and experienced mentor is also our real road to happiness.
So when I wrote this article, I was glad that I could share it, but I felt powerless. A single article may not support people to get this experience. But I will always only do what I can and give the results to the Tao I have shown.
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