I saw a couple who came to mediate in the love campaign program of Tianjin Satellite TV.
Male guest Xiaojie and female guest Mu Mu have been married for more than three years. Both of them were very dissatisfied with their current marital status, so they came to the scene of the love war to seek the mediation of the teacher.
Mu Mu said that Jacko never understood her. In his view, women should wash clothes, cook and take care of children at home every day. Xiaojie never cares about family and children. She thinks home is like a hotel for Xiaojie, and she is like a free nanny.
She said that once a child had a high fever, she didn't sleep a wink all night and had been taking care of the child, so she was exhausted.
But Xiaojie fell asleep next door like nothing happened and didn't come to help her.
The next morning, she complained to Xiaojie, who actually said, "Go to sleep, the child is not badly burned!" " "
Mu Mu felt very angry. She felt that such words should never come from a father's mouth.
Xiaojie is a taxi driver. He is very busy at work and seldom stays at home with his children. Therefore, Mu Mu hopes that he can spend more time with his children during the break, but every time he takes a break, Xiaojie would rather go out drinking and singing with his friends than stay at home with his children.
Mu Mu said that because Xiaojie always turns a blind eye to children, now children don't want him. Xiaojie sometimes wants to hug the child when he comes back from work, but the child is very resistant.
Besides, Mu Mu also said that Xiaojie never helped her share the housework at home.
On one occasion, when cleaning the house during the Spring Festival, Mu Mu asked Xiaojie to help her hang the lamp high. After talking for a long time, Xiaojie didn't help her. Later, Xiaojie went to work, and she hung up herself.
Xiaojie disagrees with Mu Mu's complaint. He thinks that the division of labor between men and women is their home, and it is already very hard to make money outside. Do you have to worry about so many things when you get home? And how tired does he think it is to do housework and take care of the children at home every day?
02
Regarding whether men should take care of children and share housework, I have seen an example shared by Zhou Xiaopeng, a marriage counselor:
A man should never help his wife!
I went to my best friend's house for dinner the other day and saw her husband cooking and playing with the children.
I casually said, "Oh, you are so diligent and have done so much work for your wife!" " "
I didn't expect people to say, "I never help my wife, because I live here myself and should have cleaned the room;" I never help my wife cook. I get hungry and have to eat by myself. I never look after my wife's children. This child was mine, and I am the father. "
He also said: "I never help anyone in my family because I am a member of this family."
In this regard, Teacher Zhou Xiaopeng can't help but sigh: "Where can I find such a good husband!"
03
The book Intimacy says: "When a wife takes on all or most of the housework, her marital happiness is negative, and only when both of them take on the balance of housework can the marital happiness be positive."
It's hard for men to earn money to support their families outside every day, but your wife is not idle at home. You might as well find a chance to experience staying at home for a few days to take care of the children and do all the housework to see if it is as easy as you think.
I think most wives will think it's okay for me to contribute to the family, but you should see my contribution, instead of thinking that I just do housework and take care of the children at home every day, and my life is chic and comfortable.
In addition, you should understand my hard work, help me share some housework and take care of the children, and don't feel that I have to do everything.
Being tied up with housework and children day after day, it is difficult to have my own independent time and space, and my husband is not considerate at all. Then I think everyone will become depressed and anxious in this life.
Just like the first case, Xiaojie complained on the stage that Mu Mu had a big temper, and Mu Mu replied rudely: "You forced me to lose my temper!"
Wang Anyi, a famous writer, said in About Housework: "In the past, I admired people like Gao Cangjian. He was tall and determined, never laughed, and seemed to bear the human suffering and responsibility.
But gradually, my understanding of men is becoming more and more common. I hope he can be considerate of women and take on even such a small task as helping them wash dishes.
It seems that there are few opportunities for men to save women in the den, and life is more and more full of trivial things. "
Therefore, men in the new era don't have to rely on heroes to save the beauty to show your male charm. It is precisely those men who are willing to help them share the housework now.
When a woman feels your understanding and concern for her, she will naturally become gentle and happy, and will also create a warm family atmosphere for you more attentively. Only in this way can your marriage life enter a virtuous circle and the happiness of marriage will be positive.