Active listening means that you can immerse yourself in each other's conversation and show that it is your responsibility to listen. You won't be distracted by electronic products, and you won't guess what the speaker will say.
Even if you don't speak, your confidante can get a real response from your eyes and body language. Lack of active listening can easily lead to communication failure. So it will be helpful to show your concentration when listening.
2. Metacognition
Philosophers have been thinking about human thoughts for thousands of years. John Flavell, an American developmental psychologist, called this kind of thinking about ideas metacognition.
This concept is very useful. It means that if we can observe our own thinking, we may be able to change it. We are not bound by negative, irrational or unhealthy thoughts, but observe and understand the thoughts themselves through awareness. No longer controlled by ideas, but to observe and understand it and change it selectively.
3. Internal and external consistency
Many people have a "child" in their hearts who is afraid of losing and learns to please. For example, many people know such a "good guy" who never says "no". They always think that being a person who obeys other people's ideas can lead a more comfortable life, but they always feel that the more tired, the better. This is not the case. This is "duplicity".
Psychologist Satya believes that human communication is divided into two levels, one is the verbal level, and the other is the emotional level, which is often "expressed" through expressions, gestures and tone.
And if the expression of words and emotions is consistent, it is "internal and external consistency." In this state, everyone's inner needs are respected and emotions are dealt with in time. If you have too much fear and fragility in your heart, but you still act very aggressive, then this is a serious "internal and external inconsistency." In the long run, it is easy to get depression.
4. Inner conflict
What is consistent inside and outside is the inner conflict. Inner conflict is the discomfort caused by the inconsistency of your thoughts, beliefs and actions. Many times we are experiencing this kind of conflict, but we don't realize that it is the lack of internal and external consistency.
Leon Fei Sen, an American social psychologist, believes that this imbalance of internal and external consistency will cause psychological stimulation to us, such as anxiety, depression and sadness.
Step 5 be absorbed
Although you know there is a difference between empathy and sympathy, it is still possible to understand it as sympathy. But it doesn't matter, these two words are similar, just think so.
Compassion can be regarded as a kind of empathy-you don't have to experience other people's experiences, but you can logically understand how others feel in a certain situation. For example, you don't have to experience real loss, but you can imagine the scene and feel regret, pity and anxiety.
Empathy will go deeper than this. Empathy is not imagining other people's experiences, but imagining yourself experiencing other people's situations. The important difference between sympathy and empathy is that sympathy is self-centered, while empathy is to integrate others into their roles.
Step 6 authorize
The word empowerment is not strange to us, but it has a professional definition in psychology. Authorization is usually a commendatory term. Psychologically, it does mean giving others power, but the degree of this support also needs to be considered.