For whatever reason, if we decide to have psychological counseling, it means that we are trying to figure out what is happening inside us and strongly want to make ourselves better. At this time, it is very important to find a professional and reliable psychological counselor or psychotherapist who really suits you.
We can judge whether the other person is suitable for our own psychologist or counselor by the feelings brought by the psychologist or counselor. You can try to ask yourself these five questions:
Is 1.TA flexible?
A mature psychologist or counselor has a much higher understanding of his acceptance than a growing psychologist or counselor, so TA is often more flexible. This is because a person who has more understanding and acceptance of himself does not need many external forms to prove that he is good and capable. This enables TA to really let go of herself and concentrate on understanding visitors. And a person who lacks practice in this field, TA will often shape himself into an authority and an expert intentionally or unintentionally. Only in this way can TA establish a sense of control in her heart and make herself feel more secure.
If you often feel that you have received more education and norms than you have been listened to and understood, and that the counselor knows you better than yourself, if you have to listen to the counselor, I am afraid there will be some potential dangers. This process is to meet the needs of psychologists or counselors themselves, not to help visitors grow up.
Second, can the time of TA be guaranteed?
Psychological counseling needs stable counseling density. This is mainly based on helping tourists feel the relationship between security and stability in this process. If your psychiatrist or counselor is too busy to change the consultation time every month, it is better to leave TA early.
Because TA's busyness explains at least two points: First, for TA, there may be some things that TA can't resolve in the process of psychological counseling, so TA may use some seemingly reasonable excuses to change working hours; Second, a consultant who disappears without considering the needs of visitors is at least lacking in professional accomplishment. Within the personality structure, TA can't really understand what is called "maximizing the interests of visitors".
Third, can TA protect the consultation settings?
What is the consultation setting? Simply put, it is the basic rules that psychologists or counselors and visitors must abide by.
Counseling setting is like a reference model of psychological counseling, and it is also like a landmark: when the counseling process is all carried out within the counseling setting, that setting seems to be gone. The importance of this framework will only be revealed when the consulting institutions are broken or are at risk of being broken during the consultation process. That will make both sides realize that something different has happened, and this difference is an opportunity for negotiation. The concept of this opportunity is often used by some immature consultants as an excuse to break through the setting.
For example, a consultant keeps in touch with visitors outside the clinic. This kind of life relationship is difficult to ensure that TA maintains a neutral and temperate attitude in the clinic, which will also collect money from visitors, but it will not help visitors; Or a consultant who helps himself solve life events through the visitors' real-life work or relationship network, it is difficult to establish a professional relationship in the hearts of visitors. This polluted relationship will bring great interference to visitors' consultation.
4. What does 4.TA pay attention to at work?
Focus on your story or the relationship and symbol behind it? When visitors come to the consulting room, they will tell many stories to psychologists or counselors. These stories actually have potential functions and connections. A mature psychological counselor has the ability to explore the potential information conveyed by these stories. And an immature consultant, because of the lack of dynamic understanding ability, often stays at the story level in the discussion with visitors at work.
For example, a visitor said, "What's the strange smell in this room? It is really unpleasant. " Smell may exist objectively, but potentially, mentioning this smell here and now will also have psychological significance for visitors. For example, visitors are expressing their dissatisfaction with the counselor in this way, or avoiding exploring their own hearts by talking about smells. Therefore, in psychological counseling, stories are not that important. Why is it important to tell stories at this time? The relationship with the counselor conveyed in the story is more important.
5. Can you feel your growth from it?
The goal of psychological counseling is treatment and growth. Effective consultation can make visitors' personality more and more perfect and their social functions more and more adaptive in the process of work, but the process of receiving consultation is actually full of hardships and pains. The reason why the process of growing up is painful is that in the process of receiving counseling, some of our old defense models will be broken, and then we will learn to build new defenses again. Before we realize that the old defense is not suitable and the new defense is established, we will be in an unresolved state, which is very scary and uncomfortable. The consultant's job is to help visitors get through this process safely and establish active and effective forms of defense. So we say that psychological counseling is not for comfort, but for growth.
If in the process of a consultation, all you feel is the sense of relationship security and emotional satisfaction, and your understanding of yourself is only superficial in the process, even in the process of consultation, you feel weaker and weaker, as if you can't live without that counselor. In addition to considering whether you have activated your attachment mode, you should also consider whether this counselor or counselor can't lead you into deeper exploration.
Referring to these dimensions mentioned above, combined with your own preferences and needs, you will be more likely to choose a psychologist or consultant who really suits you.