When I first met Yang Fusheng, he was 16 years old. His father and my father have been friends for many years. My father was injured at work when he was young, and broke up with him for many years. Later, his father sent him to study in the north, and it was not safe to live on campus. So, just stay in our house.
I was twenty years old and just went to college. That was when I rebelled and pretended to be an adult. I couldn't find anything in the university where I went to Niu. When I saw Yang Fusheng, who was much shorter than me, I didn't take it to heart except that there was a stranger at home.
Later, when I officially noticed that Yang Fusheng was born, something had happened to his parents. It is said that one of his parents is a senior official and the other is a powerful person, who took advantage of his position to acquire a large amount of state property. However, they obviously failed to conceal the truth. At that time, it was time for severe punishment, so his parents were investigated, their property was basically confiscated, and both of them went to prison. I don't think they can get out for a while.
Then the question comes, how to deal with Yang Fusheng, who has lived in my house for almost two months.
After dinner, the old man called Yang Fusheng and me into the living room, squinting and looking like a respectable father. He told Yang Fusheng that you would continue to live here. Your father and I have been friends for many years, and you will be like my son in the future.
Yang Fusheng nodded without saying a word, his fingers curled and looked forbearing. Forbearance? I gave a sneer. I must have been scared silly. A fifteen-year-old boy can't understand the meaning of this word.
After a while, everything was said. The old man might be tired, so he asked Yang Fusheng to have a rest. After a while, the old man turned his head to me who was still stuck in the chair. "Why are you still here?"
I raised my eyebrows. You don't really leave this stuff at home, do you?
What else can I do? His parents are in danger now, let alone take care of him.
The old man sighed and looked helpless.
I rubbed my eyes and said I was tired and went back to my room. I can't sleep when I lie down. When I went to the bathroom and passed the living room, I saw Yang Fusheng's door open and there was no one inside. The quilt was neatly folded and put on the bed. The moonlight shone on the floor, pale and pale.
"This boy!" I gritted my teeth, put on my coat and went out without informing my parents.
There are few moon stars outside, which is much better than the air inside. Within a few steps, I found Yang Fusheng. He sat on the stone bench in the community, with his upper body straight and his hands on his legs.
I slowed down and walked past with my usual attitude of fooling around. "Why, run away from home?"
Yang Fusheng got a fright and looked at me. "That's not my home."
"I knew it," I took out my cigarette and lit it. "Don't do this after knowing that this is not your house. No one likes to see your child's temper. "
"Your father took my family's money, so your father promised them to take care of me until I was an adult." Yang Fusheng turned his head and looked at me transfixed. I know the old man won't take him in for no reason, but it's embarrassing to say it in front of him. My face must have been ugly at that time. I clenched my fist because I want to slap my mouth now. He still said calmly, "So you don't have to feel unbalanced and you are not qualified to lecture me. As long as I am eighteen, I will move out. "
I stood up with a bang, threw away my cigarette butt and tugged at his wrist. "Go home."
I told him to stand up, but he didn't move.
I gripped his wrist tightly, and felt thick sweat on my palms, but I still pulled back without saying a word.
Yang Fusheng twisted my hand. "Don't pull me, I'll go by myself."
I suddenly turned around and looked at Yang Fusheng, trying to intimidate him with my eyes. He also looked at me motionless, stubbornly holding his neck high. I suddenly became irritable, shook off his wrist, walked up to him, and condescended: "What are you? Yang Fusheng, your parents are in trouble today. You need to rely on others. At this point, put away your arrogance. Don't say that you have received money from your family. Even if you receive the gold, there is nothing you can do now. You can expose us and let your father expose my house. But before you walked back to Shanghai, you were starving. I don't care how good you used to be, how many auras your family brought you, that's all in the past. The reality is that since you are in trouble, you have to know how to pretend to be a grandson, so that you can have a place to live, and you can endure until you are eighteen and stop suffering from such cowardice. No one here sympathizes with you. There are more people than you. At least you've seen the scenery. I am nothing, let alone bother to give you lessons. But now that you live in my place, you need to know who you are and where the fuck you are. Do you understand? "
He looked at me, his eyes silent and focused. I feel a little embarrassed because I have just said so many passionate words. I coughed a few times and tugged at his wrist. "Go home."
This time, he did not resist.
I heard him whisper behind me, "Do you look down on me?"
"My family accept your money, don't you also look down on us? We are the same as each other, and no one is qualified to look down on anyone. As for others, they are busy and have no time to see how embarrassed you are now. "
After a long time, he said "hmm" very softly.
Two stories of floating life
Yang Fusheng really doesn't hate it. He comes home from school on time every day and doesn't talk much. He also helps with housework on weekends. But I was the only one who despised his silence, forbearance and condescension from the beginning, and he never changed.
My mother really likes him, as if she suddenly found her son. When Yang Fusheng was busy doing his homework, he even helped him prepare a snack. The oral language is that Shen Xiao should be as obedient as you. Hearing this, I was so angry that I felt deeply that I was a foreigner.
Yang Fusheng looked at me with a strange expression, with a smile on her lips and a look of success.
Yang Fusheng really doesn't make people worry about everything. Once I wandered into his house and he was doing his homework. I said, "What are you doing?"
He said, "Busy."
I looked through his textbook, but he didn't lift his glasses. "Don't move, there is homework paper in it, and I won't find it for a while."
I said I didn't like his arrogance, so I went to see his exercise book again, trying to find out a few mistakes to kill his arrogance. I turned to the end and found that I couldn't find any. Yang Fusheng's notes are very neat, meticulously horizontal and vertical, forbearing and helpless.
I was lying on his bed, in a big font. "Are you used to school?"
"habit."
"homework? Is there anything you don't understand? "
"No."
"Who are you talking to like this? The word is two words. " I found fault on purpose.
"Who are you talking to so unreasonable? It also hinders people from learning. " He looked up at me.
I was so stuck that I couldn't speak, and I didn't want to move in his bed.
"Didn't you say you had to bow your head under someone else's eaves?" After a while, I heard him say so. He is still doing his homework, as if he were just talking casually.
I turned over. "I didn't see anything from what you said to me. This is almost your home. "
He didn't speak, just smiled.
So I chatted one build what did not build, and after a while, I fell asleep.
Yang Fusheng's father's verdict came down, and it came down yesterday. I live in school, not at home. My parents were afraid that he would be unhappy, so they called me and asked me to take him back to school.
I waited for him at the gate of the class, and after a while I saw him coming out with a group of boys. He seems to have a good relationship with each other, talking and laughing, and he doesn't seem calm at home at all. Seeing me, he paused, immediately restored his smiling face, and even came and put his arm around my shoulder. I was also shocked by this move. He told his classmates, "This is my cousin."
When his classmates saw the older ones, they all recovered a little orthomorphism and called them brothers together.
He smiled heartily: "We were going to menstruation's for dinner, but I didn't expect him to pick me up. Right? " He turned to look at me and smiled, but there was something in his eyes that I didn't want to delve into.
"Yes, I'm afraid you don't know the way." I cooperated with him.
A girl inside replied, "Your family has a good relationship."
"You bet. Then let's go first. " He stepped back on my shoulder. "Let's go."
"Very good." I turned around and pretended to casually shake off his hand on my shoulder, but he didn't catch it again.
As soon as we left school, we became tandem. I squinted at him and said, "Sweet family drama? Did you have fun? " What Yang Fusheng did was really boring to me at the age of 20, but at that time my age and experience were not enough to understand how pathetic his motives were.
He didn't answer.
At this age, the boy is distracted, but he is not. No, it should be said that at this age, Yang Fusheng is too simple.
"It will be exposed." (expressing surprise, shock, etc.)
"No." He shook his head. "It is to let teachers and aunts have less contact."
It's not that easy, I sighed in my heart. Although smart, he is still a child, and his thinking is still simple. It took me a long time to recall that the cruelty of children is the most cruel.
"Do you think this is interesting?" I lifted my mouth contemptuously.
When he walked to the door, he stopped suddenly.
"Zhong Shen." He called my name, looking pale, like the pale moonlight that day, frowning like a child's stubbornness. "Do you know what it feels like to have no home? But they-my parents gave me something to fill. Let others ignore these, they only cast envious eyes on me. But now there is nothing. Then take a step back and I will be an ordinary person, but I know I am still far from ordinary people. I want everything ordinary people have. If I can't get it, I just maintain the appearance that I am an ordinary person. Is this too much? "
I was suddenly speechless.
He repeated, "I just want to show off this vanity to them."
It is common for ordinary people to build a family, have sound parents and be pampered. In his view, it is vanity and worth showing off. Thought of here, I'm a little sad.
He just used all his strength, all his cleverness and calculation to maintain such an appearance of "being like others" wholeheartedly.
Because experiencing pain and happiness is a happy thing, his parents have no time to teach him.
"My uncle and aunt called and said that my father's sentence had come down. That's why you came to pick me up. " He put his hand on the doorknob.
That figure seems to be the one who accepted the verdict.
He gave me a quick smile and pushed the door open.
Three stories of floating life
On Saturday, I went to Fu Sheng's school to wait for him. He still came out talking and laughing with a group of classmates. When he looked at me, he was still at a loss, but he didn't have the enthusiasm last time. "Why are you here?"
I patted the back seat of my bike. "I'll show you around," I said to his classmates. "You don't have any programs next, do you?"
"No, no, I'll be home soon." One of the girls waved again and again.
"That's good," I said to Fu Sheng with a smile. "You haven't come out to play for a long time."
The girl next to her smiled and said, "Your brother is so kind to you."
His expression changed from calm to subtle expression like showing off. "Nothing, then I'll go first."
Am I riding a 28 bike borrowed from my classmates? Floating life sits in the back seat. I tried to board it several times, and I felt the wind in my ear make a "whoop" sound.
"It's terrible," the floating voice was mixed with the wind. "I mean this car."
"Make do with you," I said. "I borrowed this old car for a long time, and my classmates have to walk back. Speaking of which-"I turned around. "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know, I haven't known anyone except the school for so long."
"Then I've decided."
"Zhong Shen."
"Huh?"
"Nothing."
I looked back at him, his hand clutching the seat frame. I followed his hand and saw that he was wearing the same jeans as me, which my mother bought for us. It was light sky blue.
He hummed a song in his mouth, as if he were in a rare mood. I stared at my bike, thinking that I would put on these jeans, so young and so happy to be an old man.
At that time, we shone like brand-new toys.
The year after Fu Sheng moved in, Mom and Dad's new house was demolished. In other words, we are moving. That house is in an upscale neighborhood, but the problem is that there are only two rooms.
Mom rubbed her hands awkwardly when talking to Fu Sheng. "Fu Sheng ... Look at this thing ..."
Floating life is very decent and sensible to solve problems for my mother. "It's good for me to live alone, which has caused a lot of trouble to my uncle and aunt."
"What is the child talking about? Aunt likes you very much. In fact, you can move here together if you want, and Zhong Shen doesn't come back often. Aunt is very reluctant to part with you ... "My mother wiped her eyes a little sadly. In fact, there is nothing there, just a habit of acting. At this time, it added a dramatic effect, not to mention that even I had to laugh.
"I will stay here. I can help you look after your home. I can take care of myself." Of course, he won't get into trouble because of an adult's whim. Maybe it's better for him to live by himself.
"Ahhh-"Mother promised to quit.
After mom left, it was just me and Fu Sheng in the house. He is still sitting in that position, doing his homework, and his back is even a little stiff. The whole body exudes a gesture of rejection and self-protection.
I walked slowly over and pretended not to care and said to him, "It's just the two of us in the room. You are responsible for cooking."
When I went to explain to my parents, I casually found a reason: "It's near the school, so I can live in a dormitory for my junior year. If I move home, it will be more convenient for me to go to school. "
"Besides," I stammered, "it's sad to leave floating life here alone. He is only 17 years old. "
Yes, as early as a year ago, when his parents ruled that he raised his eyes and asked me if I knew I didn't feel at home, I had a disgusting feeling of "sympathy" for Yang Fusheng, and even put forward the absurd idea of saving him. I admit that I was moved by his words, but more importantly, I was really moved by the heroic plot that I just turned 20.
It doesn't take much argument to convince my parents. They may also think that I have grown up, and Yang Fusheng is not an adult after all. At least they have their own careers.
I also packed my things in the bedroom and planned to move home. My roommate saw me and said, "Why did you move away?" When packing, I threw out a word, "housekeeping."
"This time, you are going to move out of the dormitory. Your Xiao Lu is dating a little boy from another department. "The buddy in the dormitory is lying in bed. "Watch your girl, something will happen."
"This is what makes people anxious. You can't occupy the toilet ... "He looked at my face and decided to be polite. "Not that, is it?"
I threw the pillow in my hand. "Don't waste gasoline."
"I'm serious, you two should also be reconciled. I've been wandering around for a year, and I don't know what you think. "
I like Xiao Lu very much. She is a famous beauty in our school. She is beautiful and not arrogant, and she is not as petty as ordinary girls. When I met her in my freshman year, I was also eager to chase her. Her sentence "Let's start with friends" made me happy for a long time. But I don't know when it will fade. Oh, I remember. At that time, Fu Sheng happened to go home. It turns out that this little bastard was delayed.
I decided in my heart that I must call Xiao Lu at night.
When Fu Sheng and I were tortured by trivial matters of life, I made a new connection with Lv Xiaoxiong. One night a month later, when I asked Xiao Lu if she would be my girlfriend, she thought for a moment and gave me a "good" simply and neatly.
From that day on, I naturally took Xiao Lu home, euphemistically called "taking him home". In fact, I helped Fu Sheng and me clean the house and cook. These things are not easy for two big boys. Several times, Fu Sheng complained about the lunch box I bought: "You will only buy this one, at least change it to a small fry next to it."
I knocked on the bowl angrily with chopsticks: "You said you wanted to eat that snack again the day before yesterday and threw it up on the table!" " "
I didn't explain to Lv Xiao why Fu Sheng came to my house, so I introduced him directly as my distant cousin. For more than a year, I have been used to such subtle lies. Subconsciously, I want to help Floating Life keep this secret. Or, help him stay like this.
Fu Sheng has a good impression of Xiao Lu, at least he is smart. His stubborn donkey is as energetic as mine.
Many times, when Lu Xiao wants to go back, it is already very late. Once, even though the bus was late, I insisted on sending her back to school.
I don't know why, but I don't want to stay overnight.
-it is not good for the growth of minors. Before going to bed, I vaguely thought.
Four stories of floating life
I opened the door and saw the shadows on the sofa, vaguely overlapping. The sound of the door also alarmed them, and someone uttered an "ah"-it was a girl's voice.
I was so shocked that I forgot to quit first. I didn't turn my head to one side until I saw the girl put on her clothes. I heard some small noises, someone ran past me, and then the door closed.
"What are you doing?"
"You saw it." He shrugged indifferently.
"Who's that?"
"I think so ... girlfriend ..." I don't know if he deliberately made his tone so uncertain. There is an innocent and puzzled expression on his face.
But all I know is that it took me a lot of patience to pick him up from the sofa and throw him on the wall.
"Don't bring strangers home in the future." Finally, I said this sentence.
"Very good." Yang Fusheng nodded obediently. His expression was quite clever, but his eyes were a little provocative. When did this expression appear on the child's face? Why didn't I notice? When I woke up, I found my powerlessness deep in my body.
I shook my head helplessly. When I grew up, it was really hard to manage.
Start living in school for a few days and go home for a few days. My communication with Xiao Lu is very smooth. She is the kind of girl who is comfortable to get along with, which makes people feel at ease and never loses her temper. After I had sex with Xiao Lu, the boys at school looked at me and my eyes almost burned. My buddy in the dormitory was also busy. I said, "Come on, I know I found the treasure, so don't jump forward like crazy."
Hearing this, the buddies in the dormitory immediately stopped yelling at me and rushed at me.
Only Xiao Lu saw that something was wrong and asked cautiously, "What's the matter?"
"Nothing." I don't want to go on.
"Look at you, your eyebrows are knotted." She reached out and stroked my forehead. I grabbed her shoulder and held it to my chest. "Xiao Lu."
"Huh?"
"Do you like me?"
"Don't you know?"
Usually, I am extremely tired of this disgusting and nutritious conversation, but today I asked as if I wanted to confirm something: "I want to hear your opinion."
Xiao Lu's eyes were calm and focused, soothing my mind. He said, "Zhong Shen, I love you."
I hugged her hard, as if to rub into my body, and as if I were grabbing the only driftwood: "Me too."
That day, Xiao Lou didn't go back to the dormitory. We went to the hotel, and I held her as if I would die if I let go. I closed my eyes tightly, knowing that my expression must be as hot as hugging my loved ones.
Violent movements transpiration sweat, sad and winding flow on me.
"Zhong Shen, I will start to add classes next week."
"Well, learn to refuel."
"I broke up with that girl." There is an embarrassment in the tone that children want to admit their mistakes but are embarrassed to bow their heads.
"Oh."
A big blank, I asked, "Anything else?"
"This week is my last weekend of this semester, can you …" The more I said, the lower my voice.
I turned down from the bed and looked at the calendar. On the thirteenth day, I didn't go home. I simply packed my things, and it's time to go back and see that little bastard.
I went to the floating room and woke him up roughly. He protested several times, and finally turned over in anger and sat up: "What are you doing!" " "
I hung around his neck: "Get up quickly, my brother will take you to play."
He shook my hand and teased me, "Is there a bike this time?"
Fu Sheng and I got on the bus bound for the suburbs. He was wearing a white T-shirt and was still sleepy when he got on the bus. After a while, I felt a little extra weight on my shoulders.
He fell asleep.
I woke Fu Sheng up when I arrived at the station, although I really wanted him to sleep a little longer.
This city is very noisy and smoky. But the edge is ridiculous. Quiet, quiet, grass, trees and mountains. Fu Sheng and I walked slowly forward. He looked very novel: "I didn't expect such a place."
"You can also bring friends in the future." I am smiling.
"Certainly not," he exhaled. "They will definitely feel bored and dirty."
"The child knows nothing." I laughed and scolded.
"I have a female classmate asking about you."
"Ah?"
"Why didn't your cousin come? He looks really good. " He lowered his voice and imitated the little girl's whistle, which made me laugh.
Surprisingly, we found a temple on the top of the mountain. The two of us looked at everyone around us, and our hearts were gloomy. We looked at each other and said, "Do you want to go in?"
I thought I might not have a chance next time, so I crossed my mind and said, "Enter!"
It is much cooler in the temple than outside, and the sun and wind pass by.
I said, "Want to make a wish?"
Fu Sheng shook his head: "I don't believe this."
I said, "Then just stand and make one. It's all here anyway. " Who really wants the wish made in this small ruined temple to come true?
"Oh." There was no refutation, and I closed my eyes and closed my hands for three seconds. I followed suit.
I didn't look up or open my eyes after I made a wish. I was distracted and thought, "Everyone has an afternoon or a night that he can't go out for the rest of his life."
I was frightened by the idea. I smiled and shook my head and opened my eyes.
Fu Sheng and I walked slowly down the hill. Halfway through, I took out my camera and hugged Fu Sheng: "Come, let's take a picture."
I held the camera far away and put it on his shoulder. Then "click".
"The photo is crooked." When I wanted to raise my hand to take another picture, the camera screen suddenly went out. I took it down and looked, "There is no electricity."
Floating life seems more regrettable than me. I fiddled with the camera for a long time, and finally gave up and threw it into my hand: "Failure."
That photo of myself, one day when I became an ordinary middle-aged person, I accidentally turned to it from the photo album. Just when I was wondering, I saw a strand of hair on the edge of the photo paper. It suddenly occurred to me that I took this with a floating life. Ten years later, I can still recognize him by a strand of hair. I knew he was there.
Five notes of floating life
Unconsciously, youth is another year. Fu Sheng was admitted to the university, and I graduated. Fu Sheng has entered a good school, that is to say, he has come of age.
I need to talk to him. When I went to see him, he was packing, and school was about to start.
He gave me a look. "Aren't you going to Lu Xiao's house today?"
I said, what are you doing?
"tidy up," he stood up, and unconsciously, he was as tall as me. "Look at what the house is like."
"Oh," I can't say anything else.
"Why? Think I'm moving out? " He inclined to come over, "want to what good things? Tell you, it's far away. "
"Oh," I promised drily, "that, that ... that I ..."
"Then you should hurry to find Xiao Lu, don't stand here, it's an eyesore!" He waved and said, "I will continue to clean up, and my uncle and aunt will come back at night."
I'm relieved. Look at my watch. I have an appointment with Xiao Lou today. I went to the door and turned my head. "Then I'll go first and come back at night."
He didn't go back to continue cleaning up, but waved at me. "Bye."
Xiao Lu and I went to the movies. This is a very dramatic film. The hero and heroine were together when they were young. It's beautiful, but when they understand things, they start to be on and off. They argue with their future over all the trifles, and they don't know what they are doing. Then one was terminally ill, but the two stopped quarreling and returned to a naive and beautiful state. Finally, the man died, and the other one thought about him all his life.
It seems that once there is a deadline, people will automatically learn to cherish it.
On the other hand, we are struggling now because we know that the future is too long.
Walking out of the cinema, I rubbed my head with a little pain. Xiao Lou said what was on Zhong Shen's mind?
In fact, she used affirmative sentences. What am I talking about? Xiao Lu said yes, you didn't fall asleep in the cinema today, staring at the screen and not knowing what you were watching.
I didn't think of anything.
Xiao Lou didn't argue. At the crossroads, she said it was time for you to go home. I want to go back to the dormitory by myself. Have a good sleep.
I nodded and put my hands in my pockets.
I turned and walked away, and my head was hurt more by the wind. I know Xiao Lou is watching me from behind, but I can't look back. I don't know how my face should face her now.
Xiao Lu Xiao Lu Xiao Lu ... I read it in my head, and I don't know why it turned into a floating life in the end.
I stood in the community smoking a cigarette and looked up at the dim light outside the window. There are so many mosquitoes that I can't get rid of them in summer and evening, and now I'm too lazy to raise my hand.
I threw my cigarette butts on the ground and lifted my legs into the corridor.
The key clicked in the lock hole. When I opened the door, I smiled silently. I was greeted by a warm yellow halo that spread all over the room.
Besides, there is an empty room with the lights off.
I walked around the room, feeling a little heavy eyelids and a buzzing headache. A lot of things shook in front of me, so I reached out and waved away. I went back to my room and fell on the bed with a bang. Close your eyes and you will see a lake, swaying. Yes, it will spread soon.
I was too lazy to answer the phone when it rang. After a while, I hung up and tried to remember.
I press the power button, "get out! ! ! "
"Zhong Shen?" After a while, a loud voice came, "Is that you?"
"... Xiao Lu? "
"It's me, you ..."
Something burned the corner of my eye and I felt a sharp pain.
Lu Xiao Lu Xiao ... I said to myself, no, it should be floating life, floating life, is that you?
I turned off my cell phone and fell asleep.
I can't see his face. I only remember him squatting in the twilight, with his back to me, a bit like the tone in a Hong Kong and Taiwan movie, waving at me smartly:
"Goodbye."
I knew it. I knew it. All long and repeated farewells are summed up in these two words.
He said, goodbye.
Six chapters of floating life
I have been doing nothing for two months after graduation. Xiao Lu's job was finalized before graduation. She looks at my Mi Chong more and more unattractive, but every time she turns against me, I will pull my facial muscles to a pathetic expression of panic like an abandoned wild dog, hug her waist and say, "Do you even look down on me?"
At this time, even if she was angry, she couldn't spit it out, so she tried her best. From then on, Xiao Lu will love me.
It didn't take long for such a day. The old man found me a leisurely and flattering job through connections. The salary is not much, but it is enough to live.
I don't know how many days have passed. One day I remembered that two years had passed.
Last time I had dinner, the old man seldom praised me for being practical, and my impetuous spirit receded a lot. I can only laugh. The old man also said that he would take his girlfriend home when he was free, and I responded with a quick smile.
I don't want to ask where Fu Sheng went. I know they are still in contact, but anyway, I don't want to know.
I don't know whether it is pragmatic or disheartened.
All I know is that I am like a worn-out toy now, and it is no longer the time to shine, be loved and be played with.
It is time that dotes on me and indulges me; It was the years that abandoned me and put me down.
I go to the small convenience store downstairs to sell cigarettes.
"Twelve." The cashier said.
I took out my money and handed it to me. "How did you get here?"
The cashier didn't answer, so she gave me change from the cashier's box. He looked at the man in overalls in front of him and narrowed his eyes and smiled. How do you put that sentence? This road is so fucking narrow, the nightmare has come true.
"When do you rest at noon?"
"What are you doing?" He finally raised his eyes.
"Brother invites you to dinner." I bypassed the counter and grabbed his shoulder. I felt him shaking.
"What's the matter?" The manager heard the noise and came over. "Xiao Yang, what's the matter?"
"Oh," he went on.