When I first entered the business, I felt a little incredible when I heard the teacher tell such a case. I even suspect that the teacher made it up. How can I be fourteen?
I didn't listen until I gave a lecture in Zibo. After that class, a mother came to me and asked me, xu teacher, do you mean this is not good?
I asked her: What do you think?
She said with a grain of salt: I don't think it's appropriate to listen to you either, but I really didn't think much about it before, just thinking that the child is still young. My son 15 years old, the same is true. After taking a shower, he went back to the house naked and got dressed. Oh, by the way, xu teacher, he also asked me to sleep with him at night, so I can't leave until he sleeps. Is this inappropriate?
To be honest, I was really shocked when I heard this, and my body still felt numb. After seeing more, I didn't make such a fuss.
Then why is this happening?
Some teachers say this is because the child's sexual psychology is still immature. He doesn't know what that thing in his underwear can do, and he doesn't treat his mother and sister as women.
This can't be wrong, but it ignores an important fact. Do you think a four-year-old will run around the house in his underwear? No, because you won't let me, because you think nudity is shameful. Therefore, even if it is related to the maturity of sexual psychology, it is not the most fundamental. This is no rules, it is ill-bred. This is a typical manifestation of parents' doting.
Parents, especially mothers, once they love great, their sense of boundaries is basically lost. Once the sense of boundaries is lost, all aspects of education will go wrong, and sexual immaturity is only one aspect.
What is a sense of boundary?
You are you, I am me, yours is yours, mine is mine, you enjoy your blessing, and I suffer my sin.
In general, our sense of boundary is relatively clear. For example, our house is always locked tightly, and outsiders are not allowed to enter casually. For example, we will do as much work as the boss pays us, not as selfless as Uncle Lei Feng.
In two common situations, this sense of boundaries will disappear. One is between mother and child-I can give everything for my child! The other is a young man and woman in love-I can die for you!
There is no denying that mother and son are one. There is no denying that a child will eventually grow into himself and become the father or mother of another child. Therefore, this is a process of "splitting into two". You let me grow up slowly, and I will grow old with you.
But some mothers can't. They always think that children are meat falling from themselves and always want to take them with them. The child should have grown into a tree, but under the careful care of his mother, he grew into a vine.
For children, I am a part of you, and mine is yours, so what does it matter if I am naked? What if I let you sleep with me? !
For these mothers, the most wonderful thing about losing their sense of boundaries is that they regard themselves as women. Think about it, 14 years old, 15 years old, this is a physically authentic man, so naked, as a normal woman, how can you look down upon it?
For children, if you don't think of yourself as a woman, why should I bother to wear pants? You don't even think of yourself as a woman. Is it abnormal to sleep with me?
As parents, it is normal for us to lose our sense of boundaries and spoil our children, but it is a bit too much to confuse our gender. Isn't it common sense that men and women are different and don't kiss each other?
Once I was chatting with some old people, a friend said this: My 5-year-old daughter always likes me to bathe her. I used to rub her whole body, including her ass, when she was young. Now I think she is old, I will tell her to "wash her ass".
This is the sense of boundary, and there is no need to learn any theory. The foundation of children's sense of boundary must be parents' sense of boundary.
If you have any questions, just ask.
We are fellow travelers who accompany our children to grow up.
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