Should I see a psychiatrist or a counselor?

You should see a psychiatrist. You should try not to be too hard on yourself. Live in the moment, don't think about "what should and shouldn't be", accept the facts of the moment, and then do what you can do now, focusing on what you are doing instead of thinking. If anxiety and fear arise, you can accept these emotions and observe them, but do nothing. Practice slowly, you will relax, and your life will naturally rise.