Actor: 9 people
Tong Xiangyu, Guo Furong, Bai Zhantang, Mo Xiaobei, Li Dazui, Lv Xiucai, Xie Xiaochao, chubby.
Venue: Lobby
Suit: one big and one small, two tables and three stools.
Start: Guo Furong cleans the table, Bai Zhantang pours tea, and the scholar sits and reads.
Tong Xiangyu excitedly came down from upstairs. They stopped what they were doing and looked at her.
Guo Furong: Hey, boss, why are you so happy?
Bai Zhantang: Isn't Beckham admitted to a key middle school?
Guo Furong: Come on, boss, she said that being admitted to middle school is not a university. Are you so excited? (Tong Xiangyu stares at her) Yes, it's good to be admitted to middle school. (See Scholar) Scholar! Learn from Beckham!
Lv Xiucai: I have self-esteem!
Tong Xiangyu: Why doesn't this big mouth come back? I'm so anxious!
Bai Zhantang: He never worked reliably, so you let him go. Besides, he doesn't know a word, so let him find a tutor for Beckham!
Tong Xiangyu: Isn't there a newly graduated college student practicing here? He lives in Luzhi County. (Close to the white, whispering) Mainly college students-good quality and low price.
Li Dazui came in with a man.
Li Dazui: God, I'm exhausted! Boss, I brought you this college student!
College student: I graduated from college with a bachelor's degree!
Bai Zhantang (laughing): Please sit down! (College students sit down and Bai Zhantang pours tea) May I have your name, please?
College student: My surname is Xie, Xie Xiaochao (reading fast).
Bai Zhantang: Write cheat sheets? Brother, you can't just write cheat sheets when you graduate from college, can you?
Xie Xiaochao: No, my name is Xie Xiaochao! (Read slowly)
Bai Zhantang: I misunderstood. I'm sorry!
Tong Xiangyu: Mouth, Beckham!
No sooner had the mouth turned than Mo Xiaobei ran out.
Tong Xiangyu: Come on, Beckham, this is your arithmetic tutor. You have a summer vacation (holding Beckham) ... You are not good at arithmetic, study hard, and don't embarrass your sister-in-law in middle school.
Mo Xiaobei: Sister-in-law ... (They hug each other)
Bai Zhantang: Come on, it's not a life-and-death parting. What are you doing?
Tong Xiangyu pushed Beckham away and sat down.
Tong Xiangyu: This is your teacher Xie Xiaochao.
Mo Xiaobei: I can write cheat sheets. I need him to teach me?
Xie Xiaochao: Why do you always say that?
Tong Xiangyu (laughs): This is Beckham! Mo Xiaobei! That is, you students
Xie Xiaochao: Let's start tutoring.
Xie Xiaochao and Mo Xiaobei walked to the small table, and Mo Xiaobei sat down to do his homework.
Xie Xiaochao sat on the table and watched Beckham do his homework.
Xie Xiaochao: Make an auxiliary line! Auxiliary line! There! There! Where to do it!
Throw a pen, stare at Xie, and then everyone looks here.
Xie Xiaochao: Why, I don't care if you are not satisfied!
Mo Xiaobei: I paid you to wait on me, not to direct me!
Xie Xiaochao: shout, you can also say idioms! Are you good at philology?
Mo Xiaobei (proudly): Yes, our husband praised me and said I was the future Mozi!
Xie Xiaochao: I call you Mozi donkey. I teach you, you have to learn! (Roar) Do your homework quickly!
Mo Xiaobei: I, I'm afraid of you! I am the head of Hengshan Sect! Lord of the Five Mountains! Sister Guo over there is her daughter Guo (Guo Furong laughs)! My beloved Bai Dage is the legendary thief! (Bai Zhantang's teacup falls to the ground)
Bai Zhantang: Mo Xiaobei!
Xie Xiaochao (smirk): Stealing saints ... Hey, stealing saints. ...
Xie Xiaochao got up and went to Bai Zhantang.
Xie Xiaochao: Bai Daxia!
Bai Zhantang: Why?
Xie Xiaochao: There is one thing. Please do me a favor.
Bai Zhantang: What's the matter?
Xie Xiaochao (mysterious smile): Come with me!
Xie Xiaochao went out, white hesitated, and went out.
Lv Xiucai: Beckham is in trouble! (gloating) Lao Bai has a chance now. Hey hey!
A moment later, Bai Zhantang came in.
Bai Zhantang (to Tong Xiangyu): Boss, trouble is coming! The college student that Mouth found knows that I am a saint thief, and he must learn to be a thief from me!
Tong Xiangyu (surprised): Oh, you can't teach!
Bai Zhantang: You think I want to teach! As soon as I said no, he went to the yamen to expose me!
Tong Xiangyu: What can we do?
Xie Xiaochao is out.
Xie Xiaochao (to Bai Zhantang): Master!
Bai Zhantang (to Tong Xiangyu): Look! Here we go again!
The robber shouted outside the door, and two men rushed in, a fat man and a thin man. The thin man took a big knife and the fat man took a folding fan. The scholar got into the table in fear.
Fat man: What about stealing saints? Which one is stealing saints?
Tong Xiangyu: Well, we don't steal saints here! Well, this isn't a black shop. Where can I find that thing-who is it?
Fatty: I'm Wang Ning!
Bai Zhantang: Wang Ning? He is the younger brother of the emperor today. How can he be so virtuous?
Fat man (sighs): I'm King Ning, but I'm the sovereign of the previous dynasty.
Everyone: the former dynasty? Dayuan dynasty?
Wang Ning: Yes! It's a long story When Zhu Yuanzhang called, they all answered. They left me behind. They want to go back and have no money to buy tickets, so they just take the mountain as the king-cut the crap, Tang Baiyu, and come out if you dare! I'll kill you!
Li Dazui: I said Wang Ning, what's your enemy with Bai Yutang? Do you have to kill him?
Thin man: Your prince has no enmity with him, but he is a legendary thief. If you kill him, your monarch will be famous! The thin man gestured, waved a broadsword, and then took out a banner from behind-I became famous.
Li Dazui: Look at these two people, they want to be famous like crazy!
Wang Ning: When we become famous, it will be easier to make money! Taking the mountain as king, for what? Is to get rich! Tang Baiyu!
Bai Zhantang (horrified): What?
Wang Ning: You are! Do it! (The thin man wields a knife to cut, and Bai Zhantang tries to parry)
Xie Xiaochao: Wait! Look at this report. He has also read books. Why so vicious?
Wang Ning: Why are you a scholar who just graduated and has no job?
Xie Xiaochao: Almost.
Wang Ning: I knew it! then what Cut the crap! Take the white jade soup away from me!
Xie Xiaochao: You can't take him away!
Wang Ning: Why?
Xie Xiaochao: If you take him away, I will be even more unemployed. At least I can learn a skill from him.
Wang Ning: I won't take it if you don't let me. Isn't it embarrassing for me to spread it?
Xie Xiaochao: So, how about a game? Take him if you win, and keep him if you lose.
Wang Ning (thinking for a moment): OK! How come?
Xie Xiaochao: We are obviously different, but we have one thing in common: we have all studied! There is nothing else to compare, just try to see who has a higher IQ. Do you dare?
Wang Ning: How dare you? Bring it on.
Xie Xiaochao: OK, let me ask three questions. If you can answer one correctly, you win!
Wang Ning: How dare you despise me!
Xie Xiaochao: Cut the crap and listen to your body! If there is a horse, led by a thin man, whose horse is it?
Wang Ning: Of course it's mine!
Xie Xiaochao: Wrong! The horse is if! If there is a horse, ...
Wang Ning: Ah!
Everyone laughed.
Xie Xiaochao: Question 2: There are 10 birds on the ground. One of them was killed by an arrow, but the other nine didn't fly away. Why?
Wang Ning: I was shocked! Oh, no, the arrow went out quietly and no other birds heard it!
Xie Xiaochao: Wrong! That's a flock of ostriches!
Wang Ning: Faint!
Everyone laughed.
Xie Xiaochao: The last question, if you can't answer it, go to kindergarten to make up lessons! A horse weighs 800 Jin, and a bridge can bear up to 500 Jin, but the horse has passed step by step. Why?
Wang Ning (thinking): This, this ... This horse has a big stride!
Xie Xiaochao: This horse weighs 800 Jin. It weighs less than 500 Jin and can cross the bridge!
Wang Ning fainted, and the thin man held him.
Li Dazui: God, I really fainted!
Thin man: Your Majesty! Your majesty!
Wang Ning: This man is smart, no, sinister and abnormal! Stop arguing with him and go!
Two people went out.
Xie Xiaochao (to Bai Zhantang): I saved your life. Is it time to teach me, Bai Xia?
Bai Zhantang: Here we go again! Can you not mention this?
Xie Xiaochao: Nonsense, why should we save you? I want to learn from you!
Lv Xiucai: Don't you study martial arts, so you won't save us? Let them bleed with old white? (gesturing)
Xie Xiaochao: Well, this ... this. ...
Lv Xiucai: I know you won't. At the beginning of life, people with good nature say that you are spoiled by the post-80s generation. In fact, I know that you are kind by nature. Please use your head (finger) to think-why are you looking for a job?
Xie Xiaochao: Mainly to make family happy. My parents have worked hard for me for most of my life, but what about me? Besides making them angry, they are very sad ... I want to make a lot of money and let them live a happy life.
Tong Xiangyu (laughs): You see, a sensible child, your parents may be very happy to hear you say this, but have you ever thought that if you are a thief, you can take the stolen money with peace of mind? Can your parents rest assured? Of course, parents want their children to get ahead and pay attention to themselves-but this is not the most important thing. What they want most is that their children are safe and happy!
Xie Xiaochao: I just want to ... make my career successful quickly. ...
Bai Zhantang: Everyone has his own career, but many things are urgent. After all, there are very few successes overnight. A person's success is achieved by hard work. Opportunism is neither success nor career.
Lv Xiucai: Do you understand?
Xie Xiaochao: I see, I made a very wrong mistake.
Lv Xiucai: I hope I can correct my mistake! Son once said-
Everybody: Let's go!
Bai Zhantang: I wish you success!
Tong Xiangyu: And you and your family, happiness.
Xie Xiaochao: Thank you, thank you!
Xie Xiaochao went out with his luggage and saw him off at Tongfu Inn.
Tong Xiangyu: Hey, say you'll stay for another two days!
Xie Xiaochao: No, no, it's enough for you! It's time for me to go home for the Spring Festival.
Everyone: Then take your time. Happy Spring Festival.
Xie Xiaochao: Happy New Year, goodbye.