Uncover the etiquette state of the world you don't know.
Few countries have such a long history as China, and few countries dare to flaunt themselves as "a country of etiquette". However, when China people went abroad, they found that all kinds of embarrassment followed. At this time, people's unbearable behavior is rooted in the materialism of society and the decline of morality? However, we will never question whether there is a problem with the "etiquette culture" in China for more than 2,000 years. Nanshan Kongtong will tell you what you don't know about "the state of etiquette".
First, the earliest "ceremony" has little to do with social civilization.
Many people will recall that China people who have been educated by courtesy for thousands of years should be the most knowledgeable and polite in social communication, but this is not the case.
The original meaning of "ceremony" is to bless the gods, which means that only by fulfilling the system and behavior of respecting the gods can we bless the gods. In the Western Zhou Dynasty, some people expanded the scope of "ceremony" to three levels: the first level, the relationship between man and ghost, man and man, man and nature, is equivalent to the present philosophy and ethics; The second level: the requirements and norms of the ruler's behavior are equivalent to the current rules and regulations. The third level, equivalent to the current law, stipulates a series of systems such as the national organization system and the military punishment system.
This man's name is Duke Zhou. In order to better manage the society, he confirmed the political, legal and moral norms of the Western Zhou Dynasty in the form of words, thus forming a relatively complete system involving founding the country, politics, law, culture and education, military punishment, taxation, food and clothing, sleeping temples, chariots and horses, agriculture, industry, commerce and medicine, craft production and various famous things and laws.
In other words, the earliest "rites" in China appeared for the convenience of social management and rule, and had nothing to do with social civilization.
Second, the alienation of "ceremony" has become the chief culprit of anti-civilization.
After the Qin and Han dynasties, the above three levels were alienated to varying degrees, and "etiquette" became the chief culprit of anti-civilization:
1. The ritual system artificially creates inequality and rationalizes and naturalizes it.
A week ago, rites were used to worship God, but God has a distance, a clan and a generation. So in order to reflect this level, there are different external manifestations. This external expression is "instrument", which you can understand as today's "treatment standard".
Confucius, Xun Kuang, Dong Zhongshu and others have perfected this rule to varying degrees. The direction of this improvement is the need of rule, which formed the initial feudal etiquette system and finally established a hierarchical system with reference to the whole society in the Han Dynasty. Its core is that the central problem to be solved is the distinction between honor and inferiority, that is, the patriarchal clan system. It provides a realistic way and theoretical basis for artificially creating social inequality.
Confucius divided the world into two categories: gentlemen and villains. The gentleman in Confucius' mouth has nothing to do with character, but refers to a person with status and knowledge, while the villain refers to a person without official knowledge. We should treat these two kinds of people differently.
In Xunzi's view, the function of etiquette is to "distinguish groups", which means to let the rich and the poor have their own grades, and to strengthen this grade, so that everyone can realize social harmony on the basis of identifying with their own grades and let people be satisfied with their own environment and state.
Dong Zhongshu put forward the "three cardinal guides and five permanents" to maintain the feudal hierarchy. First of all, he described the three cardinal guides and the five permanent members as "providence" and endowed them with sacred authority. With the thought of "Yang Zun Yin Bei", it is proved that the master-slave relationship of the Three Cardinals is unchangeable and reversed, and the hierarchical order of feudal rule is deified into the universal law, and the rationality and eternity of feudal rule are demonstrated from the aspects of theocracy, imperial power, clan power and husband power, which creates a theoretical basis for the classicalization of feudal society in China. Since then, that "three cardinal principle and five permanent members" have become the spiritual shackles of feudal rulers, rationalizing inequality and treat people as universal truth and natural state.
After more than 2,000 years, these etiquette thoughts have become a major obstacle for China people to move towards a civilized society, and also a major culprit in anti-civilization.
2. Ethics, the moral carnival of hypocrites, the beginning of human nature.
In the early years of the Western Zhou Dynasty, people-oriented thought began to rise, the way of ghosts and gods began to weaken, and Duke Zhou made clear the ethics. At this time, the core of ethics is four words, "respecting morality and protecting the people" and "respecting morality", which means understanding and respecting the laws of nature and human nature, which is now called the scientific spirit. The core of "protecting the people" is eight words, which is "the will of the people, the will of heaven". On this basis, his ethics are aimed at rulers, that is, all restrictions are aimed at those in power, not at ordinary people, just as we will emphasize to people not to hurt ants at will, but not at ants and not to bite people.
But this situation became different in the Han Dynasty.
At that time, a new minister didn't come for Emperor Wudi's birthday, so he asked him why. The man said that he had gone to celebrate his father's birthday. Emperor Wu of Han asked angrily, is your father important or me important? The priest replied, "Of course my father is important."
Before the Han Dynasty, the father was more important than the emperor. If the emperor wants to kill your father, you kill the emperor directly, and no one will think that you have done anything wrong, because in the eyes of people in the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, the emperor is only the chairman of an enterprise we are talking about today, and the father is a close relative. If the chairman asks your father whether he is important or not, you will feel that there is something wrong with the thinking logic.
However, the minister's answer disappointed Emperor Wu of Han Dynasty. If the emperor is not the authority of the world, how can he maintain his rule? So he told Dong Zhongshu: Don't let this happen again.
Therefore, the history of China has lasted for thousands of years, and etiquette education has never stopped. Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, together with him, "established the political concepts and moral norms in line with the interests of feudal rule as birthright, named them by names, and made them famous", and used them to educate the people, which was called "Ming Jiao". Its content is three cardinal guides and five permanent members, so it is also called "famous education".
Starting from filial piety, he told the world that we must be filial to our parents and obey them in everything. This is acceptable to the whole world, but who should parents listen to? Listening to politics and heaven is common sense. But he didn't tell you much. Who does the government listen to? Listen to the emperor, who is the representative of heaven? It is the emperor.
The Book of Filial Piety consists of 18 chapters. The first chapter says that our body hair comes from our parents, so we should cherish it. This is filial piety. You will agree, and then he will tell you that this is just the beginning of filial piety. The true filial piety is to honor one's ancestors, make contributions and serve the court. There are nearly sixteen chapters in the back, which are all about "loyalty" on the surface. When loyalty and education are unsatisfactory, we should be loyal.
Rulers will give certain names to people who conform to the ruling ideology, so that they can become an example for the whole society to learn and maintain their own rule.
Because many ruling thoughts are contrary to human nature and natural laws, in a civilized society, the behaviors of these role models are often anti-human, anti-family and anti-social common sense, such as committing suicide to preserve honor, not remarrying for chastity, laying down one's life for the emperor, killing people for family and so on. So China's role models are all for fools.
China Mingjiao (ethical code) is a tailor-made scheme for ordinary celebrities. It cultivates people's desire for fame in a planned and continuous way in the whole society, and can give up feelings, interests and life for "fame".
Neo-Confucianism in the Song and Ming Dynasties is another promotion of Zoroastrianism, and its center is "eliminating human desires and preserving natural principles", and the natural principles here are the thoughts of Zoroastrianism, opposing "natural principles" and "human desires", and the effect of this opposition is that the rulers control "people" in an all-round way.
However, in Europe, humanism was advocated during this period. It advocates that "man is the foundation of all things" and opposes the feudal privilege and theocracy of human nature. Advocate democracy, science, freedom, equality and individual liberation. However, because Neo-Confucianism and ethics serve to consolidate the feudal system and are appreciated and advocated by the rulers, Zhu, together with Confucius and Dong Zhongshu, became the three most influential thinkers in ancient China history.
When a society denies democracy, freedom, science and individuality, but wants to control people's thoughts, no matter what name it is doing, it can't stop the sinking of human nature and morality. In an anti-humanity society, etiquette education will always be carried out in the opposite direction to civilization. At the same time, any moral education that goes against basic human nature will be hypocritical.
3. Mutual respect and relative respect in etiquette.
In the long-term hierarchical authoritarian society, people's cognition of authoritarianism and power has almost reached the level of universal truth, and the etiquette system based on inequality since 2000 has brought this acquired recognition of authoritarianism to the level of innate knowledge.
People think that absolutists are necessary, and the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. People use the idea of "taboo is supreme" to exalt authoritarians. He has the right to murder his brother and force his father to death, while Cheng and his descendants have killed tens of millions of people. They are still regarded as British monarchs and a generation of arrogant people. China people believe more in the power of violence and power, and constantly beautify violence and power with lies. Why is evil invincible in the eyes of China people, because evil is always after mastering power?
Under the force of violence, all people can only be respected. Laobaigan respects county magistrate, county magistrate respects county magistrate, county magistrate respects six ministers, and ministers respects prime minister. Then, this relationship is irreversible. Most of the dignity and respect gained by the people at the next level are based on sacrificing the dignity and respect of the people at the next level.
However, under the long-term publicity and education of ethics, it is regarded as a virtue with natural rationality, and people can also taste beauty from it. How to kneel to the emperor, what is the standard posture, and how to quit are all exquisite. People enjoy it and become an important part of civilized etiquette.
China's etiquette culture, to a great extent, is a slave culture and a relative respect based on the inequality between people, which is far from the mutual respect in modern civilization.
For China people, as long as they get three things, they are easily respected by different people, namely power, reputation and money. Similarly, with these three things, they don't have to "respect" so many people.
If a etiquette or "civilization" is based on sacrificing the rights and dignity of another part of people, then no matter how long it is, no matter how beautified it is, it has nothing to do with the civilized world.
Second, the characteristics of Chinese etiquette culture
1. Maximum treatment-make an exception.
In Chinese etiquette culture, the best treatment for a person is not to follow the rules, but to make an exception. From rulers to ordinary people, everyone is proud to be regarded as an exception. Subconsciously, China people will respect the rules like slaves when they have no power, money and fame, but when they have them, they will despise all the rules. This is the different result of our etiquette culture.
2. Personality split in ethics
If he is not an official, he will hate what he has done, but if he is an official, he enjoys it. Long-term fame and fortune ethics make China people only interested in interests. Even when it comes to fairness and justice, it is often a prop to gain fame and fortune. As long as you finally achieve fame and fortune, people can even accept all your crimes and praise your strength.
Therefore, you can see that the people at the bottom often have the thinking of the rulers. They have a set of methods to learn from the world and the country, and their core is how to use tactics to deal with people like him.
Under this ethical code, China people pursue benevolence, righteousness, courtesy, wisdom and trust in appearance, but in fact, in China, saying that a person can be a man is often teaching a person how to be tactful, sophisticated, manipulative and heartless.
For thousands of years, China people have been well versed in etiquette and the way of the world, and the only thing they have abandoned is the pursuit of truth and the persistence of justice.
3. On seniority and stifling innovation
In feudal ethics, it is extremely immoral for students to go against the wishes of teachers, children to go against their parents and officials to go against the wishes of Shangguan. So you can see that students try their best to defend the teacher's theory, but rarely see students point out the teacher's shortcomings. If they disagree with the teacher, they will be accused of "your wings are hard and you dare to do the right thing with me" or "disloyalty, injustice and unfilial"
At the same time, teachers prefer obedient students to students with independent thinking spirit. Only in this way can they maintain his authority. A person who grew up under authoritarian consciousness will regard any behavior that is different from his own opinion as a challenge to himself or the existing order, which is not allowed. So China people's innovative spirit and personality have been eliminated too much since childhood.
4. Politeness is no less than that of Shu Ren.
In restaurants and hotels, you can often see people criticizing waiters, because in China people's subconscious, "Shu Ren" doesn't have to stick to the ceremony, but the ceremony is reserved for the "host". They all ignore that everyone standing in front of us is "human" first, and then people from different countries, nationalities, sexes and rich and poor. In the eyes of China people, people are often divided into two categories, one is powerful and the other is not.
Third, the "state of etiquette" is far from the state of civilization.
If a person drinks milk for a long time, but in the end there is something wrong with his body, it can only prove one thing. Milk is very nutritious, but someone put melamine in it. According to common sense, people will refuse to drink this milk again. However, in the process of reflecting on feudal culture, it is terrible that many people are looking for where it was put, but they will not refuse. Everyone is saying that milk was good, but someone poisoned it and then said it while drinking.
What's more, I shouted with surprise. I found melamine in a lot of milk, which was left by my ancestors. How can I throw it away?
We can't deny that there are a group of "etiquette countries" living on the land of China. They advocate fame and power, they respect and support power, and they have servility formed over 2000 years. They may subconsciously lack the pursuit of truth and the persistence of justice. They think that inequality is common sense, fairness is a lie, they are full of benevolence and morality, they are full of fame and fortune, they don't care about social fairness, they only care about whether they can get more benefits. They are victims of authoritarian society, and they are accomplices of authoritarian society.
They are proud of being a "state of etiquette", but they don't know that these four words are the marks of slaves, which have existed for more than 2000 years. They regard it as a beautiful tattoo and show it off everywhere. They gave the person who left this mark a reputation as a saint. In their memory, they are proud of Han, Tang, Song and Yuan Dynasties. They live in an illusory civilized society and advocate the law of the jungle. They claimed that they lived in an ancient civilization.