No road is necessarily right, it is important to find yourself through the road you want to take.
From 20 18 to 12, I sought help from two psychological counselors through the introduction of friends. This article will share how the tools and words they provided helped me start my journey out of depression. ?
Tool 1: Personal Mission Statement? Declaration of purpose in life?
Try to state your personal life intention in one sentence. When you are in a bad state, look in the mirror and read for three minutes every day. ?
"I am the sunrise, which can bring energy and hope to the important people around me."
Tool 2: At your funeral
Suppose you die and friends and relatives get together to say goodbye to you. Just like western funerals, everyone will go on stage to recall your life. What do you want to hear? Perhaps, thinking about being born to die can reduce our regrets and let us summon up courage to pursue what we yearn for. As Jobs said: Death? Is it? Very likely? That? Single? The best? Invent what? Life? Death is the best invention of life.
Here's what I think they will say to me.
From the age of 33, I began to live in the present, eat, drink and be merry, and live every day well. The only regret is that I haven't lived enough. Everyone, have a good life and have fun. See you again.
Wife-my life is colored by him, and only he can bring me peace. By expressing emotions instead of emotions, the friction loss between husband and wife is minimized in the days of daily necessities. He is a strong backing to help me realize my career pursuit. His kindness and fraternity make my home particularly warm and exquisite. The days with him are the days I want. I am very happy. He is my best friend, my lover and my soul mate.
Children-fathers are always full of energy. His smile is very infectious, his mind is young, he keeps pace with the times and his figure is great. Cooking should not only be delicious, but also pay attention to setting the plate. Well, the sense of ceremony is dribs and drabs. At the age of ninety, he will still be curious about many things and willing to try. In the process of our growth, we have many partners and memories. He is a listener who makes people want to talk to him. His equality and respect for us promoted us to understand what kind of person we want to be and what kind of life we want to live. My dad is cool.
Parents-sons have their own careers, live a yearning life and are very filial to us. There have been no ups and downs since I was 35, but I have been very happy and my family is very harmonious. Sunshine, happy big boy, many of our previous worries were unfounded. He has a wide range of hobbies and brings us many new experiences. He will communicate with us more, reduce the generation gap and live a good life in his later years. Thank him for helping us realize more small wishes from the age of 60. ?
Relatives and friends-He is a simple and thoughtful person who can always put himself in others' shoes. Some show off in an ostentatious manner, but they are very self-disciplined, such as running for 2000 weeks, taking selfies every day for more than 60 years, and having a healthy breakfast every day. He is the person who loves life the most that I have ever met. He can always have fun alone, and he can also feel the richness of enjoying the present and being happy. The communication with him can be profound and rewarding, and he will give us great psychological help when we need it. With this friend, the world is worth it. ?
Tool 3: Life Balance Wheel
Life consists of eight dimensions. Score yourself at the beginning of each year to find out your satisfaction with life and find out the direction that needs improvement. Know how to be satisfied, but not satisfied. Teacher Yang said that I am the happiest person he has ever met, and I have a very high self-evaluation and am very satisfied with my present life. Through this picture, I understand that I can't be unhappy with my career. I lost seven other incomparable beauties, which is enough. Some things, don't fight hard, take your time. A person's life may be vigorous or dull. Just calm down and look at yourself, be satisfied and enjoy yourself.
Teacher Zhang, two correspondence, one week apart, took two and a half hours. She helped me to further reconcile with myself, be honest with my positive and negative, and understand my own characteristics.
When I teach in summer and winter camps, my favorite sentence is that I have never been a good student, but I have always been a good learner. I have never been a "good student", but I have always been a good learner. I didn't pursue further studies in the academic field. I regret that I missed the opportunity to spend 300,000 yuan to send me to study in cheung kong graduate school of business for one year because of my poor academic qualifications and GMAT scores. I hope I can become a person who knows everything, but I have only done the first half of the sentence, knowing a little about everything (playing everything above the average) but not deep enough about anything. These two points are the knot.
She said:
Although the sun always shines on others, I have to go down to rest and face my own darkness. I think you often hide yourself. In fact, you are full of anxiety. Slow down, really slow down, it's good for you. And your slowness at this stage is a kind of stagnation. What you need is precipitation. Dynamic anxiety and static depression. In the communication with me, you seem to want an answer, but you don't need it. You know the answer clearly, you just want others' approval, not advice. Psychologically speaking, this is a state of defense, and there is a kind of defense that is subconscious, and I don't even know it. Will you really do something for something that you can't turn over? There are always commas in your thinking and expression, which is incomplete. I may not be able to turn over the story of deep learning in my heart, and I try to accept myself, but I don't really face the problem. Invisible, I have been competing with myself, setting up barriers to solidify my thinking and studying what training I want. Learn to identify whether your interest is true or not, and whether it is more interesting, headache-free and enjoyable after reading the relevant course descriptions. ?
When you feel depressed, it's because you are pursuing in the wrong direction, especially when you are not good at it or don't like it. When your choice really matches yourself, you will be really happy. What I see in you is more creativity, is it unconstrained style, is it left brain thinking, and the right brain is undeveloped (mathematics and logic)? . Give play to your characteristics, you can't stick to any professional characteristics, which doesn't ruin you, but seems to contribute to you. Changing interests are your interests and your characteristics. On the contrary, you are most stable when you are unstable, and you enjoy this instability. Finding a job or scene that suits your own characteristics always requires fresh experience and development space. If you just find something to do casually, it won't be long before you have new anxiety. Stop, because you can't find the future. Your trait is not to be a company leader. It's closer to your heart to make the step of leaving your job now. This line of work is more in line with what you do with your talent. Your initial heart is happiness, and your specialty is something that can give you excitement. You may not have much money at first, but you will be happy, not to escape from depression. I'm picking vegetables now, until one day I decide, and then I'll talk about what to test and do in-depth research on this dish. Parents' free-range rearing gives you an innate self-confidence and is not afraid of the future. ?
The cause of depression may be the feedback from the outside world about the lifestyle you want, but it may not be the case if you are abroad. China is an expectation-oriented society. It would be terrible if people didn't expect anything. Your parents have expectations, so you may not want to realize them. You want to live at your own pace. People around you will build an expectation for you and satisfy them, but you will be even worse. It is self-cultivation not to judge people. It is not easy for anyone to live in this world. Everyone has his own way of life. We don't have to ask ourselves to live according to other people's lifestyles, but don't force others to be exactly like us. We should allow the diversity of the world and respect every difference. Many times, fighting is facing the sea. If you can retire early, it will be wonderful to enjoy life. However, when I was young, I had some wealth and did nothing. There will be more and more bad States, and the self-dialogue in this case is also very empty. Work is a part of life. When new problems arise, are they concrete and changeable? In this case, it is very meaningful to analyze the dialogue. Do it because you love it. Not to prove myself.
The problem seems to be "I don't know how to find my ideal job", and the deeper problem is "I don't believe in my ability and am afraid of change". If we realize this and accept and admit that we need to satisfy the long-term sense of security and confidence, we are more likely to gradually gain the inner strength of "choosing the life we like".
Physical and mental health comes first. If economic conditions permit, and you are a relatively open person, trying psychological counseling can make us more transparent. It is similar to going to the hospital for a CT scan and seeing what you can't see, and the efficiency is still relatively high. If you can find an experienced friend as a consultant, it can be the first choice. At the same time, it is suggested to make a recording during the consultation process so that you can review the tangled time in the future. If you consider economic factors, you can start with some books on mental health. I will write a recommended bibliography.
At the beginning of the new decade in 2020, let yourself go.
Stay calm and stick to it.
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