In the process of psychological counseling, patients show serious negative empathy. What should a counselor do?

Reference (reprinted blog): the concept of empathy: refers to the past life experience of visitors and the psychological reaction tendency of interpersonal relationships to consultants. That is, the process that visitors transfer their emotional attitudes and attributes to their parents or an important person in their future life to the counselor and respond to them. When empathy occurs, the counselor becomes a substitute for the visitor's emotional experience. Counselors should carefully grasp the scene of empathy, play the positive role of empathy, and prevent negative effects. For example, in the process of spontaneous association, after dealing with resistance from time to time, patients gradually recall their own life experiences, and at the same time activate their excited dreams. With the psychological counselor as body double, they consciously appear the emotions of people who have had an important impact on themselves. It is usually manifested in the unconscious strong love, hate and behavior of visitors to consultants. So it is also a manifestation of psychological set. For example, in the process of consulting activities, some visitors gradually stopped paying attention to their symptoms and how to deal with their psychological conflicts, but began to have a special interest in consultants: they obeyed the wishes of consultants, thanked them at any time, praised them in front of others, and even cared about their food, clothing, housing and family life. This kind of performance is an element of friendship, admiration and even sex, which is called positive empathy; It is called anti-communism to regard the consultant as the object that brought him twists and turns, pain or depression in his past experience, which is manifested as refusal, dissatisfaction or even opposition and non-cooperation, and to regard the consultant as the object of venting. There are two ways of empathy: direct and indirect. The former directly expresses my experience to the counselor: "I'm glad to talk to you, and you remind me of …" The latter indirectly expresses my feelings: "I think your attitude is the best, and you are the most concerned and understanding …" Of course, the counselor should learn to distinguish whether it is really empathy. Not all the feelings expressed by tourists are empathy. Only when the visitor transfers his previous emotional reaction to the counselor, and the body double who takes the counselor as the emotional object has dreams and emotions beyond the relationship between counselors, is empathy. "Empathy" originated from psychoanalysis. Freud believed that the patient's attitude towards the counselor depends largely on his relationship with key figures in his childhood. He linked this regression tendency with people's self-defense and Oedipus complex, and thought it was the reappearance of psychological conflict that patients did not fully handle in the process of Oedipus complex in psychoanalysis. Among them, positive empathy refers to the visitor's admiration for the consultant, who is an important figure in his previous life and hopes to get love from him. Negative empathy refers to the unfairness, indifference, disgust and treatment of the counselor when the visitor regards the counselor as the object that brings him twists and turns, unhappiness, pain or depression in the past experience, and wants to sue him. Empathy is very important in psychoanalytic theory. It is believed that empathy reproduces some feelings of visitors' past lives, especially their childhood life. These feelings are temporarily suppressed and have nowhere to release, and even become a "complex" of psychological problems. Empathy can vent the backlog of psychological energy, thus contributing to psychological balance. In order to eliminate the psychological contradiction left by Oedipus complex, it is advocated that counselors should bear and encourage visitors to expose themselves without any requirements, so as to help visitors re-experience the extremely complicated relationship with their parents when they were children and fully treat the natural feelings and intentions buried in the hearts of visitors. As far as empathy is concerned, the more carefree the visitor feels about the counselor, the more helpful it is for him to re-experience the psychological conflicts left in the process of Oedipus complex, and the more he can realize the influence of these psychological conflicts on his behavior and actively restrain them. Because empathy is an unconscious psychological reaction tendency, it is inevitable in more psychological counseling activities and is a very normal scene. After empathy, we can look at each other better, use empathy to vent each other's feelings and guide each other to understand. Therefore, it is one of the important duties of psychological counseling to fully treat and re-experience empathy. It enables visitors to discover the usual characteristics and psychological basis of their interpersonal communication and make necessary adjustments and corrections; It can also strengthen people's self-concept in order to better improve themselves. If the visitor has positive empathy for the opposite sex counselor, the counselor need not be afraid. He wants to gently explain to the other party that this is a possible scene in the process of psychological counseling, but it is not an ideal normal and healthy love. Counselors should deal with it strategically (don't hurt the self-esteem of visitors) and arbitrarily (let visitors know the understanding and firm attitude of counselors), and guide them to a normal consulting relationship as soon as possible. If left unchecked, it will not only disturb the normal consultation, but also bring trouble. It is a serious violation of the professional ethics of psychological counseling to use the feelings of visitors in an unhealthy state of mind with ulterior motives to achieve a certain purpose; If the counselor finds it difficult to deal with empathy, he can refer it to other counselors. Experienced consultants are good at using empathy scenes and adopting anti-empathy methods, that is, dressing themselves as empathy objects, encouraging visitors to vent their repressed emotions and fully expressing their thoughts, feelings and inner activities, while consultants deepen their analysis and explore the deep psychology of visitors, including the subconscious. Visitors will feel relaxed psychologically after fully venting their emotions, and their psychological symptoms will be gradually resolved after being analyzed and understood by consultants. Anti-communism: it is also a manifestation of psychological stereotype in essence. It is the unconscious reaction tendency of consultants to visitors, so it is the unified face of empathy. It has a broad sense and a narrow sense. Anti-empathy in a broad sense refers to the counselor's tendency to respond to the unconscious cognition, emotion and will of the visitors, which is largely determined by the counselor's own life experience and world outlook; In a narrow sense, it refers to the counselor's empathetic response to the visitors. Like the principle of empathy, psychological counselors will also have emotional repercussions when communicating with visitors. According to the classic psychoanalysis, anti-empathy is the emotional transfer from the counselor to the dissected person, and it is all the emotions initiated by the patient in the counselor's mind. Singer, a famous American psychologist, believes that anti-empathy can be manifested in three ways: psychological counselors' excessive enthusiasm and concern for visitors; Counselors are too hostile and disgusted with visitors; Counselors are usually nervous about visitors. In essence, these manifestations are psychological counselors' self-defense of visitors' thoughts and behaviors. Freud emphasized that counselors should strive to adhere to emotional neutrality and remain calm about the empathy of visitors. Counselors are like a blank screen without memory and desire, so visitors can daub "empathy pictures" on it according to their own wishes. Generally speaking, the anti-empathy view is much more difficult than the empathy view. Anti-empathy is subjective and unpredictable, because it shows the self-defense of counselors in the process of psychological counseling. For this reason, Freud suggested that psychoanalysts do self-psychoanalysis every once in a while, so as to clearly look at their own anti-empathy requirements and basis. The integration view of ancient psychoanalysis holds that anti-empathy is the psychological, physiological and cognitive response of counselors to visitors' activities and healing environment. Anti-empathy is inevitable and ubiquitous in many cases. Threshold consultants must adhere to the concept of emotional neutrality in the consultation process, which is actually the practice of putting consultants above visitors. Whether the influence of anti-empathy on counseling is positive or negative mainly depends on whether the consultant can persist in properly handling his own anti-empathy. Appropriate and normal emotional response is an important therapeutic tool for psychoanalysis. Psychological counselors put their feelings into it, insist on the necessary interest in visitors, and make it easier for them to enter the repressed inner world of visitors. Understanding visitors with empathy can make them have * * *, thus gaining self-esteem and courage; Of course, improper anti-empathy is stopped. Handling of empathy and anti-empathy: Psychological counselors are also human beings, including secular desires, and will inevitably be tempted when facing empathy. This may be related to the temperament of psychological counselors. Once tempted, it is called anti-empathy, that is, reverse empathy, which is harmful to counseling. Counselors should have good reasons to stop it from happening. If the visitor is really a beloved person, and I can't help but want to break this relationship with personal feelings, the best way is to introduce a same-sex psychological counselor to the other party and let them go there for further consultation. This method is an impossible choice, not a last resort. Because of this, the other party may suspect that you are not sincere enough to her, so the existing negotiation effect is easy to be greatly reduced. However, if you feel that it is difficult for you to master it, you can only do so-because if you are afraid, you will flatly refuse to continue talking with the visitors in a friendly way and end the relationship in a complicated and rude way, which not only runs counter to the main purpose of consultation, but also will greatly hurt the feelings of the visitors. Love is innocent, whether it is empathy or anti-empathy, so it can't be blamed. But we can't ignore the responsibility of love, otherwise, the consequences will be unimaginable. May all psychological counselors respect themselves and be kind to every visitor who feels the same way. In psychological counseling, it is very common for psychological counselors to empathize with other counselors. How to eliminate the hidden complex of psychological counselors in the process of consultation in an equal, neutral, enthusiastic, effective and timely manner requires psychological counselors to have a good personality structure and noble professional ethics to resist the empathy of psychological counselors and skillfully transfer the empathy. Of course, professional supervision of this industry is probably an effective way to prevent empathy. This is an answer to the serious negative empathy of patients during psychological counseling. What should a counselor do? 15