Poor for a while, poor for three generations. If parents don't realize it and pass on this sense of loss and guilt to their children, then the future money relationship of children will be heavy and difficult.
1, childhood loss affects a child's life.
Why is it difficult for poor families to produce expensive children, and only three generations can become famous? Can parents guarantee that their children will be rich in the future? What determines whether a child will be materially rich in the future? Not matter, but mind.
A friend has a rich life and a good personality, so do her brothers and sisters. In fact, this friend's childhood was very poor materially, but her mother kept her life beautiful all the time, bringing back some beautiful gadgets for her children from time to time and never carrying them out? Life is hard and money is hard to come by, so cherish it. Heavy sense education like that. Children feel rich and mobile from an early age. When they grow up, they will gain wealth in society by virtue of their respective abilities, and each has its own spiritual pursuit.
I've met several people from such a family. They were born in the era of the poorest material resources in China, and their parents are penniless, but even if they only have a meal every six months, they are willing to invite friends and children to share it happily. The spiritual temperament of these children is like aristocrats. When the environment improves, they can always find a way out first.
? Three generations of nobles? It is not that it takes three generations to accumulate wealth to cultivate nobles, but it often takes more than three generations to change the inner sense of scarcity. It is not the rich or the poor, but the parents' attitude towards money that directly determines whether their children will be rich in the future. Many parents are reluctant to buy things for their children, and they repeatedly emphasize when spending money? Money is hard to come by? Cherish things and not waste them? By analogy, children will still get a sense of loss and guilt, and the relationship with money will be very heavy and difficult in the future.
Psychoanalytic psychology believes that the parent-child relationship in childhood will be internalized into the internal relationship model of children, thus determining the personality destiny of children throughout their lives. Generally speaking, parents are like programmers. If parents subconsciously input scarcity and heaviness in their children's childhood, how can children flow abundantly in the future? Walking into the society with a sense of scarcity and being guided by the subconscious mind, he can easily experience the omnipresent heaviness. For example, he doesn't believe that he deserves a good job, and he always finds a hard job that doesn't make money. Even if he makes money, he can't enjoy it easily. He feels guilty about spending money on himself, and likes to hoard things excessively, resulting in greater waste. Some girls are like this. They have been told by their parents? Skin care products are too expensive to use? After making money, I couldn't help buying a lot of skin care products, but I couldn't bear to use them until they expired.
What if parents often send messages? Material comparison is shameful? ,? Less than last time, more than next time? Not bad, the child is likely to earn an average income in the future and make money without making progress. At the same time, it is difficult for him to fill up his material desires, he doesn't know what he needs and what he doesn't need, and he just hoards.
A mother observed that if she bought toys and handmade materials for her daughter, what should she tell her? Cherish it and don't break it? Then these toys and materials will basically be idle by their daughters for a long time. They are either broken or can't be found, which completely violates the original intention of buying at that time. Some mothers reported that they bought paints and brushes for their sons, but they only used brushes instead of paints when drawing, because their mothers told him? Don't waste paint .
Why is this? Children are very sensitive to the energy transmitted by their parents. If parents convey a sense of limitation and heaviness, children will feel it when they touch it, so they would rather not touch it.
Children don't deceive themselves with their brains. No matter how correct their parents' ideas are, children can directly feel whether their parents are transmitting positive energy or negative energy from the energy level. If parents continue to forcibly transfer all kinds of negative energy to their children for reasons that they think are right, children will eventually be bound by the so-called correct truth of life and lead a heavy and depressed life like their parents.
2. Respond honestly to children's needs
Someone asked, is it necessary to satisfy children's desires 100%? Satisfying or not satisfying children's desires depends on parents' ability and willingness. If you have the ability and are willing to be satisfied, then you can be satisfied easily and happily, and the more the better; If you can't or won't be satisfied, then tell me frankly: I can't satisfy you for the time being? , or? I just can't bear to spend money? . Parents don't need to be perfect, but at least they should be honest. Honest parents, even if their children are dissatisfied, will know that it is their parents' problem, not their own unworthiness, and they can still live a rich material life through their own efforts in the future.
There is a child who wants something, and his mother finds various reasons to refuse it. The child asked his mother directly:? Why can't you see me happy? Children can often see the essence simply and thoroughly. If parents don't realize their inner lack, they are likely to pass it on to their children unconsciously. I didn't get happiness and smoothness when I was a child, so now I have to compete with my children and let them twist everywhere.
Wilde said: The best way to make children behave well is to make them happy. Most adults in this society are surprisingly stingy in making their children happy. They always forget to add this sentence when they take away those things that make us happy? It's for your own good. It's really a convincing argument, which will eventually make us agree to destroy ourselves. ?
Don't judge the child's wishes, give a bunch of reasons to prove that the child shouldn't make this request, or even deceive yourself that it is for the good of the child. What a child needs is what he needs. This need may be unnecessary in the eyes of parents, but in the heart of children, that's what they want. Whether parents buy it or not, please respect the wishes of children. You may not be satisfied, but you don't have to judge desire. Children will form a connection between desire and realization.
Rich support and poor support depend on parents' mentality and have little to do with economic ability. Some parents worth tens of millions will buy thousands of children's clothes for their children because that's what parents want. What children want is only a few yuan of stickers or rocking cars, but parents are unwilling to buy them, competing with their children, creating a sense of scarcity for them. The long-term sense of lack will gradually solidify into a black hole in the heart, and such children will easily become greedy when they grow up, and no amount of famous sports cars can make up for it.
Seeing this, many people will feel: Parents spoil their children too much, which leads to such extravagance and waste. ? Spoiling has almost become a problem in China? Tiger balm? Label, no matter what happens to the child, you can put this label on it. This is a typical Chinese paste logic.
Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory is well known, and it is natural for human beings to advance to a higher level after meeting one hierarchy of needs. Why do some people have children? The more satisfied, the more addictive, and the crazier the demand? Delusions, which are based on this theory, often compete with children's needs, but can't hide children's success and happiness?
Sincerely face the needs of children, parents who don't compete with their children will find that their hearts are actually so pure and easy to satisfy. In Wu Zhihong Psychological Counseling Center, people often come to us because of children's problems. Have a stay-at-home mother. Her 4-year-old son is introverted and timid. He never greets people and doesn't want to share snacks or toys. Because the mother restricted her son from eating chocolate for a long time, his son showed an addictive obsession with chocolate. Later, after reflection, my mother decided to completely let go of the restrictions and bought a suitcase of chocolates for her son. The son couldn't believe it at first and asked his mother, Are these all for me? Mom confirmed:? All for you. You can eat whatever you want. ? As a result, along the way, my son took the initiative to chat with the taxi driver, greeted everyone in the elevator, and took the initiative to share chocolate. He was as happy as a sparrow. A box of chocolates will bring heavenly happiness and abundant energy flow to children. For children, happiness lies not in the price tag, but in being fully seen and responded by parents. Someone said it well: If I can eat two pieces of chocolate, and you are willing to give me 10, then the remaining eight pieces are all said? I love you? .
The long-term deprivation of childhood will gradually solidify into an internal black hole, which is really an adult's black hole. Black holes in adulthood can still be cured through self-awareness. If parents project the worst imagination on their children and convey their own lack of pain by suppressing their children's desires, what is it called? For the good of the children? Will destroy at least three generations.
What needs did parents meet in their children's childhood, and in what ways will children flow without persistence in the future, and have the freedom to experience higher-level needs. Children whose sense of security is fully satisfied will not get married in the future? Stable? As the first element; Children who need to respond to material needs in time will not only pursue making money in life; Children who are fully satisfied in all aspects will naturally bloom a brilliant life!
When I was born in the 1980s, everyone had similar material conditions, but my father gave me a rich feeling: I wanted 1, and he was willing to give 2, not just 0.8. So I have good taste in materials and know what I need and what I don't need. The pursuit of life in adulthood is to realize the truth, expand one's life experience to the extreme, and firmly believe that money will flow according to one's own needs. Enrichment gives me the freedom to indulge in the spiritual world.
Parents, rich or poor, can convey to their children that your desire is beautiful and you deserve all the best things. Then the child will naturally be rich in material things in the future and will not be obsessed with extravagance and waste.
Please stop educating children? Every grain is hard? But to share the fun of working with him and get money; Would you please stop nagging? Cherish, don't waste? But to tell the children? You deserve a rich and beautiful life? ; Would you please stop pouring bitter water on the children? How difficult is it to support the family? It's your pride and satisfaction in fighting for this family. For the sake of children's material and spiritual prosperity in the future, parents are requested to put away their sense of heaviness and lack and pass on their hopes to the next generation.
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