Therefore, you always have to face the problem of "making friends" If you make good friends, you may benefit for life and have unlimited fun, at least you won't be hurt. And if you make bad friends, it's hard not to go astray and be unlucky.
A thousand people have a thousand tempers, and a thousand people have a thousand looks. There are many kinds of people and attitudes towards friends. Some give you good words every day, some criticize you when you see that you are wrong, some are enthusiastic and dedicated, and some are indifferent and only consider personal interests; Some are simple and honest, some are cunning and bad. ...
There are so many types of friends that it is difficult to tell the good from the bad, and when you find him bad, it is often too late, so the usual communication experience is extremely important.
However, there is one kind of friends who are definitely worth interacting with, and that is friends who will criticize and accuse you.
Compared with a friend who only speaks well, a person who only criticizes you is more annoying, because what he says is what you don't like to hear. You think you have something to be proud of. He just threw cold water on you. You are full of ideals and plans, but he points out the problems without mercy, and sometimes even indiscriminately criticizes the shortcomings in your life and work ... Anyway, I can't hear a good word from him.
But it would be a pity to give up such friends.
Basically, people who have done things in society will try not to offend people, so most of them would rather say nice things to make people happy than say ugly things to make people hate. People who say good things are not necessarily "bad people", but if they just say good things from the standpoint of friends, they lose the obligation to be friends; What kind of friend is this when you know that you have shortcomings but don't say it? If you further "praise" your shortcomings, then you have ulterior motives. Such friends will do you no good, even if they don't harm you. You don't have to waste time with such people.
But what is the actual situation? Many people are happy when they meet friends who just say good things, and they don't know right or wrong; In fact, they do what you want to say and make you happy for your resources-your available value. This is why many people are dragged down by their friends.
Comparatively speaking, those friends who annoy you, like crows, are much more real just by saying bad things. This kind of person absolutely wants nothing from you (as long as you don't scold him or lose friends). His starting point is for your own good, and such friends are your real friends.
Only those who often criticize you are your life mentors.
Many friends, many roads are popular everywhere. Make all kinds of friends, but choose carefully.
In a complex world, people are all kinds, so it is not easy to choose friends. There is an old saying that "two thousand gold is easy to get, but a bosom friend is hard to find", which makes it difficult for people in the old society to make friends. But isn't that why you should make fewer friends? Or when you emphasize the caution of making friends, do you think this is unreliable and that is not trustworthy? Of course not. Since people are social people and are in various social relations, it is inevitable to make friends. They should not only have friends who are committed to life and death, but also be good at making friends with people who have such shortcomings and mistakes and even oppose themselves.
A wise man corrects his own mistakes through the mistakes of others. Making friends with people with different occupations, hobbies and identities can sometimes complement each other.
"Listening is bright and listening is dark." Making all kinds of friends is conducive to learning from each other's strengths, broadening our horizons and activating our thinking. Comrade Mao Zedong's experience is thought-provoking. He is broad-minded and good at making all kinds of friends. When I was a teenager, I issued a "recruitment notice for 28-year-old students", organized Xinmin Society with Cai Hesen, Chen Tanqiu and others, and made a large number of people with lofty ideals. After taking part in the revolution, he was surrounded by a group of close comrades-in-arms such as Zhu De and Zhou Enlai. At the same time, Comrade Mao Zedong also has many civilian friends, and friends of democratic parties, such as Li Shuyi, Zhou Shizhao and Liu Yazi, have forged deep friendship with him. Through these friends, we have learned a lot about political parties from all walks of life and made great contributions to the formulation of the party's principles and policies and the development of the United front.
Make friends and choose carefully. How to do this? As Mr. Lu Xun once said, "I still have many decades-old friends, and the main point is to choose the biggest one." Take the biggest nuance, that is, don't haggle over every ounce, but focus on the overall situation. Look at people first, not at each other's shortcomings and mistakes, but from the perspective of development and change. If you don't take the minimum and maximum, you can't be kind to others, you can't evaluate a person comprehensively and objectively, you may be blind and ignorant, you may push your friends away, and you may not get true friendship.
As the old saying goes, "A friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, but a friendship between villains is as sweet as water." Today, we might as well make friends on this basis.
Insist on interpersonal investment, there will be returns. Investing in interpersonal relationships is one of the most cost-effective investments. If you choose to save first and then withdraw, you will be rewarded after persistence.
Many people have one or more bankbooks. If you deposit them in 500 yuan for one month, by the end of the year, you will find that the passbook will not only become 6,000 yuan, but also have interest. If the money is withdrawn, it will be used for many purposes.
The same is true of interpersonal relationships.
So how to "accumulate" interpersonal relationships?
The positive method is:
1. Don't forget to give people benefits. The big advantage is that others will flatter you, thinking that you have ulterior motives and adopt a self-defense attitude; Therefore, it is appropriate to give some small benefits, but it should be natural and sincere. This is the use of greed and petty gain in human nature, which is quite effective.
Don't forget to care about others. There is no standard for "care", but both substantive care and spiritual care can be used. This kind of concern is particularly powerful when the other party is dissatisfied or has difficulties in life.
The negative method is:
1. Don't offend others. Offending people does great harm to interpersonal relationships. If you can't take the initiative to establish a relationship, at least you can't offend people easily.
I don't care about being taken advantage of. Being taken advantage of looks like a loss, but it is actually an investment, because the other party will feel that they are in debt and will pay it back at the right time. Of course, you can't suffer too much, but if you know that you can't get justice, you might as well admit it. In addition, some people cheat when they take advantage and don't owe money. There is no need to count on such people, but it is better to let them take advantage than to offend him.
There are still many ways to build interpersonal relationships, but as long as you understand that "building interpersonal relationships is the same as putting money in the bank", no matter how clumsy the methods are, there will always be results.