After two failed marriages, I realized what kind of man is worth marrying.

I have experienced two failed marriages, and I just want to tell you what kind of man is worth marrying. I'm a nurse and Wang Rong is a doctor. We used to work together. When I met him, I was unmarried and he divorced. Wang Rong is eight years older than me. She takes good care of me. However, I lacked my father's love and care since I was a child. So, after dating for a while, we got married. The doctor is so busy day and night that he can't take care of his family. In 2008, three months after my daughter was born, I took her home. Ten months later, I took my daughter home and found that everything had changed. When I came back, Wang Rong didn't show much joy. On the contrary, the whole person is very strange: I like to hide in my room and chat with QQ for more than an hour. He also answered the phone behind my back and talked for a long time. One day, I looked in the mirror and said, "God, why do I have white hair?" I don't know how this sentence touched Wang Rong's nerves. He confessed his cheating guiltily: We have been apart for too long. He often chats online and meets a married woman. Each other's family is well-off, lonely, and they get along well. I was angry and hated, and I was at a loss after crying. Divorce? But my daughter is only one year old. She needs a complete family. After careful consideration, I promised my husband that if he ended his affair, I would give him a chance to turn over a new leaf, but he kept silent. When he was talking about QQ, I wrote down San Xiao's QQ number and talked with her for two days, hoping to dissuade her, but it didn't work at all. I consulted a friend who is engaged in marriage counseling. He said to me: "Generally speaking, men will put family first, and the relationship between lovers will not last long. You can try to save it again. " "I found some books on marriage and family and wanted to repair our relationship. However, Wang Rong seems to be very negative. I calmly discussed with him, "Wang Rong, this is your second marriage. Even if it weren't for me and the children, wouldn't you consider your reputation? Wang Rong said, "I don't want to lose my reputation, but I can't help myself." I said, "Let's go to marriage counseling and see what advice the experts give us." However, he was ashamed and refused to go. I don't know why, the more I want to save my marriage, the more guilty and painful he is. A month later, Wang Rong filed for divorce. At night, looking at my daughter who slept soundly in bed, I choked back my tears and said silently, "Daughter, we will face the ups and downs of life together in the future." "After the divorce, I took my daughter back to her home in Lanxi, Jinhua. 20 12, Guan Jian, who is engaged in sales, became my tenant. He is divorced, and his son is one year older than my daughter. Six months later, he confessed to me. I said frankly, "The first marriage made me feel very disappointed." Men's betrayal, I can't bear it in my life. "The key is an honest man. He has no sweet words for me. He just said that we all have children, and we can form a family together and educate our children with our heart. With two children to raise and educate at home, he has no energy to flirt. I was moved by his sense of responsibility for children. We naturally came together and remarried. But it is really difficult to get along with. After marriage, I found out that he was very controlling, strict and had many rules. Care for cleanliness and mop the floor every day until the water squeezed out by the mop becomes clear. When he finds some dirty places in the house, he will severely criticize the children. I often tell him that a house is for living, and comfort is the most important thing. Don't be so picky if the child doesn't get dirty unintentionally. Only in this way will he be bound. Our educational ideas for children are also very different. Guan Jian's son Dongdong is in the first grade of primary school. He has no friends, never goes out to play, and his expression ability is poor. I think it has something to do with his parents being too harsh. Guan Jian always rudely corrects children's behavior problems, as if he didn't like anything. And I can better see the Excellence of children, support, understand and encourage them. I took out many children's games for two children to play, and Dongdong gradually fell in love with me and was willing to talk to me from the bottom of his heart. What I can't stand most is his desire for control. He is always uneasy about me. After dinner, I like to take my daughter to my classmates' house to play. She plays with her classmates, and I can also chat with her mother. However, Guan Jian kept calling me and asked, "What time is it? Why don't you come back? " I am in high spirits, like a punctured balloon, so I have to go home glumly. On another occasion, colleagues in the department had dinner and then went to sing. Guan Jian called me, but I didn't hear him. Half an hour later, I called him back and he scolded me. "Where have you been? Don't go home so late, don't even take your soul with you? " Hearing this, my heart is cold. My climbing and volunteering were interrupted by key anxiety. With the accumulation of such things, I feel that my pursuit of a healthy lifestyle has also been limited, and my mood has become more and more depressed. Guan Jian disciplined the children severely. After the two children entered adolescence, contradictions continued, and the daughter became more and more unbearable. One afternoon in March, 20 17, my daughter refused to come in after school and stuffed a small note under the door. I opened it and it said, "Mom, I never want to go back to this home." My tears fell down. I found my daughter on the path where we often walk in the community. She bowed her head and sat silently on the stone bench. I held her in my arms, and she cried and said, "Mom, let's move out." "Then, he added understandably," If you feel embarrassed, you can send me to my grandmother's house in the country to study. 20 17 10 After careful consideration, I filed for divorce with Guan Jian. At first, he didn't care. When he found out that I was determined to divorce, he realized that the situation was serious and he wanted to change himself. But for me, it was too late. A few days later, we went through the divorce procedure. My daughter and I moved out of the house. The move was all handled by Guan Jian, and he was not worried about me at all. I thank him for that. After divorce, I feel that I have to bear part of the responsibility for the failure of my marriage and need to improve my ability to manage my marriage. Began to study psychology systematically and got the qualification certificate of psychological counselor. In the marriage registration office, I became a psychological counselor, adjusting marriage conflicts. Because Dongdong entered adolescence, Guan Jian felt powerless to educate his son and often called me for advice. After studying psychology, I am better at facing and dealing with his negative emotions, and I have more skills and initiative in communicating with him. Guan Jian trusts me more and more, and our relationship is better than when we got married. 2065438+February 2009, when I finished my hometown life and was ready to take my daughter back to Hangzhou, I suddenly received a phone call from Guan Jian. He said, "I'll pick you up." In fact, after the divorce, I never let him go and agreed. After returning to Hangzhou, Guan Jian said to me: "This divorce actually hit me hard. I think I am a responsible man, treat you wholeheartedly and treat you as family. I don't understand. Why did you leave me? Later, I went to marriage counseling, and the experts told me that I didn't give you a lifestyle you liked. Only then did I discover my incompetence. " I also talked with him about many places that made me uncomfortable and angry in the past, and also described the lifestyle I expected. Guan Jian sincerely said to me, "I will become better." Please give me another chance! I smiled, nodded heartily and said, "All right." Now use the principle of "whoever does something is responsible" to avoid contradictions. For example, if I cook and he helps, then he should follow my experience and habits. When he is driving, sometimes I get nervous and tell him to slow down. He would instinctively say, "I'm driving, I'm in charge." "The good interaction mode between husband and wife is actually quite interesting. Guan Jian and I are still in love and have not remarried. But we found a way to get along, and we both realized that each other was a very important person in our lives. After Guan Jian tried to change himself, his daughter accepted him again. Now every weekend, the four of us will play hide-and-seek in the rape field on the spring night, have a picnic where there is a stream on the mountain, and build a river and dam barefoot on the beach when it rains heavily in summer ... Looking at this smiling man, I suddenly want to be with him forever.