How to establish a good helping relationship in psychological counseling

Psychological counseling is a unique interpersonal relationship between people who need psychological help and those who can help. Establishing a good helping relationship in psychological counseling is the premise of effective counseling, which can give the client a sense of security and warmth, gain the trust of the other party and reduce their defensive psychology. If the counselor can successfully establish a relationship atmosphere full of trust, understanding, sincerity, care, respect, tolerance and acceptance, he will certainly achieve good consulting results. The establishment of this harmonious helping relationship mainly depends on consultants. Based on the actual situation, this paper discusses in detail how to establish this relationship in consultation: (1) Acceptance, understanding and respect have therapeutic effects and can induce some positive reactions of the parties. When middle school students come to consult, most of them have a fear, a fear of not being understood, and a fear of being accused. As a psychological counselor, we should hold an attitude of acceptance and respect, let visitors feel the kindness of teachers and eliminate psychological obstacles. The first is acceptance, which focuses on active care or unconditional care. It is an attitude of the consultant to the visitor and the overall acceptance of this person. Smiling, nodding and concentration are often used in work to show welcome and enthusiasm to visitors, pay attention to visitors, shorten the distance between psychological counselors and visitors, and enable students to overcome their fears. The second is understanding, with the emphasis on eliminating stereotypes. As a psychological counselor, we should treat students equally, and we should not subjectively think which student is a bad student and which student is a troubled youth. With such preconceived ideas, it is difficult for you to pay attention to and understand students. The other is respect. Respect is unconditional and an acceptance of the whole, including not only his advantages but also his shortcomings. Respect others first, and you will get their respect. With this premise, the psychological barriers of visitors are eliminated. Unconditional respect for students who come to consult is very important for establishing a good helping relationship. The students who come to consult themselves are very courageous, which also shows that they have realized their "shortcomings" and want to improve. Therefore, counselors should pay attention to the inner feelings of visitors and promote their self-exploration and self-expression in empathy experience. Counselors should listen to visiting students calmly, calmly and gently, and respond from time to time. In addition, eyes should communicate with students' eyes, not more gentle and less serious than interrogating students. In this way, visiting students will feel that you are listening carefully and make them feel that they are respected. This harmonious relationship affects the smooth progress of the consultation work, promotes the formation of a good helping relationship, and makes the consultation work have a good start. (2) Sincerity and empathy ensure a good helping relationship. Consultants must maintain an equal attitude towards their clients. This attitude is the basis of establishing a consulting relationship. The relationship between teachers and students is often not an equal relationship objectively. The equality mentioned here does not mean that the relationship is often not equal objectively. The equality in the counseling relationship mentioned here is not objective, but subjective. Tutors should not pretend to be elders, seniors or school sisters, and admit that both parties have the same rights in the counseling process. Students have. Freedom to decide your own choices. Teachers feel that they don't have customers to know themselves. He is willing to listen to the voice of the client, understand them, admit his mistakes, and sincerely admit that he is not superior to the client. With these attitudes, it is equality. In the process of tutoring students, I pay special attention to cultivating this attitude of treating people equally, and use myself to treat people equally to induce students' equality consciousness, so as to narrow the psychological distance between teachers and students and realize equal and seamless communication. Sincerity means that in the process of consultation, the consultant should appear as his true self, do not pretend to be defensive, do not hide himself behind a professional role, do not wear a mask, do not play a role, and do not like to complete routine work, but should devote himself to the relationship with the helper with a sincere and credible attitude. It is not easy to put your most sincere self in front of students, but it is also very important. Students have great courage to come to the consulting room, not to see a "wonderful" performance. On the contrary, the sincerity of the consulting teacher sets a very good example for visiting students, which can make him trust you sincerely and express his thoughts and opinions. Sincere consultation relationship can make visitors get real feelings and experiences, thus playing a positive role in promoting their changes. This can promote the interpersonal interaction between the two sides, establish and maintain a good consulting relationship, and promote the continuation and deepening of consulting activities. Empathy means that you should put yourself in the recipient's shoes, not only pay attention to what he says, but also understand his inner feelings. Feel the customer's anger, fear or uneasiness. See the world through the eyes of the client. Empathy is not sympathy, empathy has no pity, but observing each other's mood and paying attention to each other's feedback. The key is to see if the other person thinks you understand him accurately. This is very important for treating students' psychological problems. Sincerity can bring trust and love, and promote free exploration and more open communication. The sincere attitude of the tutor has a role model. In the process of tutoring students, don't think "I am a teacher" or "I am a counselor". You don't have to choose your words carefully. You should be calm, don't be too careful, what you think and say. There is no need to defend, there is no need to hide anything. If you encounter complaints or attacks from the recipients, you will not be provoked, nor will you refute or excuse them. On the contrary, I understand the feelings of the parties. Be what you seem. Willing to share and remind yourself. (3) Good advice and guidance is the extension and sublimation of consulting relationship. With the development of society, the psychological problems of middle school students are becoming more and more prominent and serious, and more and more students have various psychological problems. At least for primary and secondary school students, advice and guidance in the consultation process is indispensable. In the process of consultation, after in-depth communication and emotional exchange with visitors, visitors can freely express their feelings and pour out their anguish in order to get help from teachers. Therefore, giving reasonable advice or guidance to visitors is an indispensable part of psychological counseling. Consultants are advised to provide some reference information to help visitors understand or make decisions. Guidance means that the consultant directly tells the visitor what to do and how to do it, and encourages him to do it. Advice and guidance is an influential conversation skill, which can be used in all stages of consultation. Pay attention to the following points when providing advice and guidance: 1. Suggestions should be clear and specific, so that visitors can understand and implement them easily. Suggestions should be made on the basis of good consulting relationship. 2. The wording should be euphemistic. The blunt wording shows a lack of respect, which often leads to resistance. 3, it is recommended not to be too much. Too many suggestions that are too active, even well-intentioned, may make the parties feel disgusted and unacceptable. Suggestions should not be imposed on tourists. Suggestions should consider the interests of visitors, explain the basis of suggestions as much as possible, and let the other party accept them. If it is difficult for the other party to accept it at the moment, the consultant should carefully find out the reasons and put forward other suggestions, and must not stick to his own opinions. It is suggested to keep a kind attitude, smile more and not be too serious when answering students' questions. Psychological counseling is a risky job. Without a harmonious relationship, it is impossible to ensure the smooth progress of counseling activities. Without proper advice and guidance, psychological counseling will also lose its due role in primary and secondary school students. Therefore, as a consultant, we should not only strengthen theoretical study, but also treat this work with care, so as to establish a good relationship and provide help to visitors.