First of all, how to reach an agreement with customers on consulting objectives.
Matters needing attention
concept
The consulting goal is the goal that the seeker achieves through self-exploration and change. The goal of psychological counseling is also the goal of psychological counselors to help the seekers through the theory, methods and skills of psychological counseling, and finally to promote their realization. From this perspective, the goal of consultation is not only the goal of help seekers, but also the goal of consultants. This is the goal that both helpers and consultants should achieve.
Consultation should be carried out in accordance with the consulting objectives, which can neither be put forward by the helper and then asked by the consultant to help realize it, nor can it be put forward by the consultant for the helper to implement it. The consulting goal is the common goal of both parties and should be agreed by the consultant and the client. The word "consent" vividly explains the source of the consulting goal. Some help seekers may take the initiative to put forward the consulting goal, but whether they can become the real consulting goal depends on whether the consultant agrees or not. The goal unilaterally proposed by the helper may not be the real consulting goal. Similarly, the consulting goal set by the consultant is not necessarily the real consulting goal.
Second, the characteristics
1 belongs to the category of psychology. Psychological counselors need to understand that the task of counseling is to help clients solve psychological problems, so the goal of counseling should belong to the category of psychology. For help that does not belong to psychological problems, it generally does not belong to the category of psychological counseling. Psychological counseling mainly involves psychological obstacles, psychological adaptation, psychological development and other issues.
For some clients who have both physical and psychological problems, the goal of psychological counseling is not to solve physical diseases, but to aim at psychological discomfort caused by physical diseases or psychological factors that cause physical diseases. At this time, the goal of psychological counseling may be related to the goal of medicine, but there are obvious essential differences between them. Although the ideas and methods of psychological counseling will also involve the medical department, it is essentially a medical model. In psychological counseling, although drugs or other medical means are sometimes needed, psychological theories and methods are the main or primary ones.
2. positive. Judging from the nature of psychological counseling, the goal of psychological counseling should be positive. Generally speaking, it is positive to face and solve problems, and it is often negative to avoid problems. For example, a college student's academic performance is not ideal because he can't control playing online games. Although he thought he shouldn't do this, he didn't change his learning state through his own efforts. Admit and accept unsatisfactory academic performance, changing majors, dropping out of school, etc. They are all negative ways to solve problems and should not be the target of negotiation. The characteristic that the consulting goal should be positive is easily overlooked by some consultants, but it is of great significance. The effectiveness of the consulting goal lies in that it is positive and meets the needs of human development. Although some goals can solve the problem of help seekers, if they are negative, they are not suitable for psychological counseling.
3. Specific or quantitative. The consulting goal is the goal that the consultant and the helper work together to achieve. If the consulting objectives are not specific and quantitative, it is difficult for both parties to implement and evaluate the consulting effect. The more specific and quantitative the consulting goal is, the easier it is to implement and the easier it is to evaluate the consulting effect.
4. It is feasible. The consultation goal needs to be reached through consultation between both parties, so it should be agreed that the consultation goal is within the feasible range and not beyond the possible level of the helper. For infeasible goals, consultants should negotiate with helpers according to the actual situation and strive to limit the goals to the feasible range. For example, adjust the goal or break it down into concrete and feasible small goals. If the goal is difficult to achieve because of the consultant, the consultant should also explain the reason to the helper, set the goal again or stop consulting or refer it to a suitable consultant.
5. It can be evaluated. The consulting goal is the goal to be achieved by both parties, and there should be at least one evaluation means or method to evaluate the progress or realization of the goal. If the consulting goal cannot be evaluated, it is not called consulting goal. In the process of consultation, both parties can evaluate the realization of the goal in time at any time, which is helpful for both parties to see the changes, especially the help seekers to see the progress and inspire confidence. Through the evaluation, we can also find the shortcomings and problems, adjust the objectives in time or take measures to promote the realization of the consulting objectives.
6. Both sides accept it. Generally speaking, the negotiation goal is the goal to be achieved by both parties and should be agreed by both parties. But it should be accepted by both parties, whether it is put forward by the helper or the consultant. If there are differences in goals between the two sides, they should be corrected through exchanges between the two sides until they are accepted by both sides. If it is impossible to coordinate, the request of the helper shall prevail.
7. Multi-level unification. The multi-level unification of consulting objectives has three meanings. First, if there is only one goal, the characteristics of the consulting goal should be unified. Even if the consultation objectives agreed in a consultation are positive but not specific, they are not unified. Second, if there are multiple consulting objectives rather than a single one, then these objectives should be coordinated and unified. If the consultation goal agreed at a certain stage of consultation is to change the wrong cognition of "others look down on me" and reduce their painful emotions to about half of their own feelings, then the consultation goals such as cognition and emotion should be coordinated and unified. Third, short-term goals and long-term goals, specific goals and long-term goals should be unified. The negotiation goals agreed by both parties have both short-term goals and long-term goals; There are both special goals and general goals; There are both local goals and global goals. The effective consulting goal should be the coordination and unification of multi-level goals.
Third, how to agree on the consulting objectives with the help seekers.
1, find out the main problems of the helpers.
The so-called "main problems" of help seekers are the problems that help seekers are most concerned about, most troubled and most urgently need to solve. Although some help seekers will explain what is the most troublesome problem at the first meeting. However, some help seekers need to go through many talks and explore slowly before they can be clear. The main reason is that some help seekers are unable to realize their own problems due to the limitation of cognitive ability. Although some help-seekers know their problems, they may be embarrassed to say their problems directly. In the initial stage of consultation, the consultant should try to find out what the main problem of the helper is. This helps to identify with the counseling objectives and solve the main psychological problems of the help seekers.
2, from which question to determine.
Sometimes help seekers are eager to solve more than one problem, such as learning problems, anxiety problems, insomnia problems and so on. The consultant found that one of the most important problems is that the help-seekers are not interested in learning and do not make due efforts, which leads to the decline of academic performance, which in turn leads to anxiety and insomnia. Then, the goal of consultation should focus on how to enhance learning interest.
Sometimes, the helper's problem has a priority. There are two solutions: one is to solve the main problem first, and then solve the secondary problem, which can improve the consulting efficiency, and even solve the main problem, and the secondary problem will be solved. The problem is that once it is unsuccessful or there is no substantial progress, it is easy to affect the confidence of help seekers and consultants. Another way is to solve minor and easy problems first, and then solve major and difficult problems. The advantage of this is that both parties can easily see the effect of consultation, which is helpful to improve the confidence and enthusiasm of help seekers and consultants, and is also a good encouragement for beginners.
3. Both parties agree on the negotiation objectives.
Reaching an agreement on consulting objectives requires the participation and cooperation of customers and consultants. When agreeing on the consulting objectives, we should not only consider the problems and needs of the seekers, but also refer to the appropriate consulting theory. There must be both specific small goals and big goals based on development and perfection. The goal of negotiation is sometimes a process, which will change with the deepening of negotiation.
In consulting practice, it may be that the goals of consultants and clients are inconsistent. Although both sides are discussing, it is still difficult to unify. In this case, the goal of the helper should be given priority.
Fourth,
Matters needing attention
1. Not all customers can provide effective consulting targets.
When the consultant and the helper agree on the consulting goal, the general procedure is to let the helper put forward the consulting goal first, then the consultant negotiates with the helper according to the specific situation of the helper, and finally forms the consulting goal. However, you may encounter a series of practical difficulties when seeking help. For example, the helper may not know his own problems, or realize his own problems in several aspects, but he doesn't know where to start solving them. Some help-seekers themselves don't know what goals they should put forward, and their thoughts are confused, and they don't know what they can get from consulting. Some customers' desired goals may be unrealistic. Therefore, psychological counselors can promote clients to think about their desired counseling goals through a series of open-ended questions.
On the other hand, the client puts forward a certain consulting goal, but with the deepening of consulting, the consultant finds deeper and more essential problems that the client did not realize before, so it is necessary to guide the client to re-establish a new consulting goal.
2. Some consultants may have wrong ideas about the consulting objectives.
(1) Some consultants think that consultants should be completely neutral and should not have any values of their own. Psychological counselors who hold this view believe that everyone has a unique value orientation, and psychological counselors should not influence those who seek help with their own values, let alone impose their own goals on those who seek help. This concept has its reasonable side, but it is not necessary to pay too much attention to value neutrality, emphasizing absolute and 100% value neutrality, which is also impossible in practical consultation.
(2) Some psychological counselors believe that some correct and healthy values should be instilled and conveyed to the visitors in the consultation. Many beginners of psychological counseling, especially those who switch from medical, ideological education, management and other departments to do psychological counseling, often think that counseling is to teach or point out those who ask for help. Therefore, many people impose their goals on those who seek help and teach them their own values and beliefs. Once you find that other people's values are different from your own and social propaganda, correct them. They help those who ask for help to make decisions and often make suggestions on this and that. As mentioned above, it is impossible to ask consultants to completely abandon their values in consultation.
In consultation, counselors should strive to help clients grow up, make them realize self-reliance and assume various responsibilities in life. This is the attitude that a counselor should have. Instead of doing everything, think for the helper with your own mind and replace the value choice of the helper with your own value choice.
(3) Some counselors take the happiness and satisfaction of visitors as their consulting goal. It is harmful and impossible to take the seeker's happiness and satisfaction as the consulting goal in consultation. If the helper wants to grow up, a certain degree of security, hesitation, depression and pain is inevitable. Growth will be accompanied by painful tempering, which is the law of things. Therefore, the consultant's duty should focus on encouraging the help-seekers to try, work hard, experience and develop constantly, rather than avoiding it. This may increase the discomfort of those who seek help, but it is necessary and inevitable for their development.
(4) Some psychological counselors regard whether the clients can adapt to the environment as their consulting goal. The problem of some help seekers is that it is difficult to adapt to the environment. But what environment and how to adapt are more important than adapting to the environment itself. There are actually two kinds of adaptation, one is tolerance, restraint, obedience, obedience and catering, and the other is improvement, adjustment and overcoming. The former is passive and passive adaptation, while the latter is active and positive adaptation. The former brings oppression and decline to seekers, while the latter brings prosperity and development. The goal of counseling should be based on the latter, because only in this way can we ensure that counseling can really promote the growth and development of help seekers. In this sense, the ultimate goal ensures the directionality of specific goals.