I feel very anxious, which may be related to my personality. I am an anxious person. If something goes wrong, or I don't meet the expected goals and requirements, or I don't like people and things, and some wishes are not realized, I will show some anxiety.
For example, if I have to finish two or three articles that day, or if I delay, I will feel anxious.
Without patience, people who pursue perfection are more likely to be anxious. How to overcome it?
In life, don't take yourself too seriously and don't take everything too seriously. To the world, a person is just a speck of dust, a drop of water, a wisp of breeze. If you want to integrate yourself into nature and the big environment, you will have your own living space and development opportunities.
A dust: either lost by the wind, or washed into a shiny color by the big waves, or become the soil for raising plants on earth. So, how to survive is your choice.
A drop of water: if you have to be independent, it will be evaporated by the sun in an instant. If it is integrated into the ocean and rivers, it may still be the spray with a story in the waves.
A wisp of breeze: gathering with a wisp of breeze and blowing on the journey of life will open your heart and let your heart see a more wonderful world. And only your own ray cannot be blown away.
Therefore, life cannot be "too perfect". Because you are not perfect, why ask others to be perfect.
Understand that the more you ask for in life, the less you get. This is the law of life. Just like the more you pursue perfection, the less perfect the result is. For example, nature, rivers can accommodate streams, streams can accommodate plankton, and they can all accommodate the feelings of the years.
When you understand tolerance, the world will become bigger, your mood will be brighter, the window of your heart will be opened, and your vision will be suddenly enlightened: you will find that anxiety is a flying bird, and you don't know when it will fly away.
When you learn to blend in, you will find that the scenery is originally composed of many beautiful things. Our own beauty, the beauty of others and the beauty of natural scenery are a river with four seasons. Let this little flower bloom on the grassland of nature and let it enjoy the appreciation of blue sky and white clouds quietly. That is "the fragrance that has passed."
Happy time. When you are alone with afternoon tea, you will think about your goals and wishes in life, sum them up carefully, make a cup of tea and savor them carefully, and you may get a lot of insights and gains.
Happy enjoyment. Eat more happy foods, such as chocolate, popcorn, bananas, blueberries, cherries and strawberries. Listen to music more, enjoy the harmonious sound of the soul brought by music, and the "flowing" sound; Watch your favorite TV series, walk into the plot, talk to the times and characters, or find some humorous books to read and laugh yourself to tears.
Right-handed communication. People who can talk to themselves, talk about life, talk about troubles, and release their anxiety.
Write about yourself. Turn anxiety into words of expression, perhaps the article understands you best, and turn your anxiety into clouds in the sky, because there are people who appreciate your clouds and watch the rainbow scenery behind them together.
Every day before the sun rises, it is wise to learn to control anxiety, not to fly out like an hatched butterfly, and quickly "let go" of those that have hatched, which will reflect an "extraordinary superpower" of your beautiful existence. You will appreciate yourself: the flower of anxiety is so beautiful.
Anxiety is actually a state that we often experience in our daily life, and it is also an integral part of our life experience. When studying, anxiety is just an emotional expression, not morbid, but a relatively normal anxiety. But only when anxiety brings lasting pain to people, or tries to alleviate his maladjustment, can it be understood as psychological disorder.
If we understand it from this perspective, we can explain it from the perspective of psychodynamics, that is, we regard anxiety as the result of repressed impulses and out of control, rather than an abnormal pathological manifestation. From the perspective of psychology, we tend to explain anxiety from the perspective of learning and biology, that is, anxiety is the result of fear, stimulation, generalization and reinforcement, and observation of learning.
If we simply analyze it from this angle, especially from the biological angle, we think that anxiety may be the result of evolution, heredity and physiological factors, and the anxiety reflected is exactly the same. In daily life, our anxiety is normal, not morbid, that is, when this anxiety continues to increase, it becomes a psychological barrier, which is of course morbid.
There are too many factors that can cause anxiety in life, and they are the same. In our life, if there is no anxiety, it means there is no fear, which is not what we really need. From this perspective, proper anxiety is beneficial and even necessary to our life. This is also because anxiety is a confrontational warning of indifference to our lives.
In fact, most anxiety is normalized, but when we have objective anxiety, that is, unnecessary fear and neurotic anxiety, that is, unconscious anxiety, then we have moral anxiety. The danger of this anxiety mainly comes from the superego. In addition to these substantial morbid anxieties, other anxieties often appear in our daily lives, which is one of the reasons why the current anxiety and generalized feelings make so many people feel anxious.
So the anxiety in our life is actually a normal anxiety. As long as we adjust our attitude towards life in time or give life meaning, change our thinking, establish a realistic concept to treat life and understand life, then the anxiety generated in daily life can be effectively alleviated and eliminated. In fact, everyone's anxiety is a psychological anxiety, not a substantive anxiety. As long as the concept of thinking is combined with the actual existence of reality and recognized,
It is true that some people are prone to anxiety in life. For example, Einstein was a particularly anxious person, and his life was very busy. But it is this anxiety and uneasiness that has made great contributions to mankind. When you realize this, will you feel more relaxed? On the one hand, anxiety comes from our physiological factors, such as adrenaline level, on the other hand, it comes from psychological factors, such as early education, the subtle influence of parents' behavior habits, the influence of important people and so on.
First of all, what we have to do is to accept our own state. Although anxious constitution is abnormal, it still brings us a lot of meaning. For example, anxiety may make you more aware of risks and make you take risk prevention earlier; Anxiety will always make you feel different from your peers, so urge you to work harder, and anxiety will make you better … all these are brought to you by anxiety.
Second, you can set an example for yourself. If you think your anxiety is interfering with your normal life, then you can see who is the practitioner of your ideal state around you. You might as well use his manners as a blueprint for your imitation and try to get closer to your ideal model.
Third, mindfulness and other ways can make you more aware of your anxiety and relaxation. After long-term practice, you will find that you can switch freely in different States, which will also make you enjoy your present state and life more.
Remember, any existence is meaningful, and it creates a special you.
Everyone has anxiety. Moderate anxiety helps us to improve our ability to respond to difficulties and challenges, but excessive anxiety will bring us uncomfortable feelings. First of all, don't think about not being anxious at all. Try to give your anxiety a score of 1- 10. 10 is a very urgent situation. Let's see how anxious you are. Then I noticed that when I do something, my anxiety will decrease. Find more ways to relax and be comfortable. Doing 10 minutes of mindfulness practice every morning and evening will help you return to the present and reduce anxiety. If you are still anxious through such self-adjustment, you may need the help of a psychological counselor.
Anxiety is often because you can easily see bad things in the future. Here is a way to open the window, which can help you to let go of your anxiety and see more beautiful things:
For example, a person has just been fired from the company and is particularly anxious.
So how to use the windowing method?
1. The first window: the benefits of being dismissed by the company: for example, you don't have to be scolded by the boss anymore, so you can take this opportunity to have a good rest for a while.
2. The second window: Disadvantages of being dismissed by the company: For example, if you are looking for a new job, you have no income for the time being.
3. The third window: the benefits of not being dismissed by the company: such as stability and peace of mind.
4. The fourth window: Disadvantages of not being dismissed by the company: for example, being too stable and not motivated.
When you open a window and write something that makes you anxious in four dimensions, you will see a more comprehensive logic of this matter.
For example, in the above example, what makes you anxious is the second window. Now when you ignore the content of the second window and pay more attention to the first window and the fourth window, you will feel that your anxiety will gradually ease until it disappears.
Now the pressure is getting heavier and heavier, and sometimes I suddenly feel very anxious, especially this year's sudden epidemic, the bad environment, the company's poor efficiency, and many people are facing unemployment. People think too much when they are idle, and the problem comes, which will produce a lot of negative emotions. When anxiety affects life and work, it is like a cold and dark night, which makes people feel scared and depressed.
It hinders our growth, destroys interpersonal harmony and puts our lives in trouble.
Dunn.
So how to overcome anxiety? Let me summarize a few points.
1. Relax.
When people are anxious, they usually show a series of physical symptoms. At this time, the influence of anxiety on the body can be suppressed by relaxing the body. How to relax, you can use the following methods.
One is to gradually relax muscles.
Decades ago, Dr. Edmund Jacobson discovered the effect of progressive muscle relaxation on anxiety. He said: "When the body is relaxed, the spirit will not be anxious." We just need to relax the muscles of the whole body from head to toe, and the anxiety will gradually ease.
Skills of gradual muscle relaxation: first, you need to continue to contract and relax 16 muscle group. On the premise of not straining muscles, try to tighten each group of muscles, and relax immediately after holding for 10 seconds. Then, relax 15~20 seconds, and pay attention to the different feelings of muscle groups when they are nervous and relaxed. Finally relax the next muscle group.
The guiding principles of the exercise include:
Practice for at least 20 minutes every day.
Find a quiet place to practice and don't distract you.
Practice at a fixed time.
Practice on an empty stomach.
Choose a comfortable posture, preferably supported by the head and body.
Don't put any burden on your body, such as taking off your watch and glasses.
Make up your mind not to worry about anything
Adopt a submissive and detached attitude.
Muscle groups should be nervous, but not nervous.
Focus on the present.
Release and enjoy the sudden relaxation of muscles.
Try repeating the relaxation password, such as "I'm relaxing" and "Let the tension pass".
Focus on the muscles.
Practice muscle relaxation gradually, slide the button below the audio and video to the left, and click "Practice" to listen to the practice audio.
The second is abdominal breathing and calm breathing.
Abdominal breathing is to suck air into the abdomen. Just put your hand on your abdomen, push it up when inhaling, and spit it out slowly from your abdomen when exhaling.
Calm breathing is abdominal breathing, count to five, count from one to five, then hold your breath and count to five; Then spit it out slowly and count to five.
Insist on practicing abdominal breathing or calm breathing twice a day for five minutes at least for two weeks, which can effectively relieve the physiological reaction caused by anxiety.
Besides, practicing yoga can also relax the body. You can learn through health clubs, yoga classes or yoga videos.
relax
How to relax, you can use the following two methods.
The first is to guide introspection. It refers to the method of changing behavior, perception and physiological state by using psychological images. When practicing, you can close your eyes and imagine yourself in a calm state.
In addition, in order to avoid falling asleep after introspection, you can restore consciousness according to the following passage.
Now, after a while, you can start to regain your sober state of mind.
Please pay attention when I count from one to five. When I count to five, I can open my eyes and feel awake and refreshed.
One ... began to regain consciousness.
Two ... I feel more and more awake.
Three ... while waking up, start exercising.
Four ... almost completely awake.
Five ... Open your eyes and feel completely awake and refreshed.
Finally, stand up and walk until you feel completely awake and return to reality.
Note: Don't drive or do other complicated and coordinated activities for at least 10 minutes after the exercise.
Practice guided introspection, slide the button below the audio and video to the left, click "Practice" and listen to the audio of "Imagine the Beach".
The second is meditation. It can completely calm people down and focus on the here and now. When practicing meditation, you need to pay attention to the following guiding principles:
Find a quiet environment.
Reduce muscle tension.
Practice every day and form a habit.
Don't meditate when you are full or tired.
Focus on one goal, focus on the goal.
Let your thoughts come and go, don't judge whether you are doing well or not; When you are distracted, gently pull your attention back.
Don't always think about the results of meditation, but feel the thoughts come and go.
Learn to relax. The more relaxed you are, the deeper you meditate.
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3. Think from reality.
Different ways of thinking make everyone feel different about things. Thinking from reality is to reorganize the way of thinking.
The most anxious way of thinking in life is catastrophic thinking.
This kind of thinking usually includes the words "if". For example, "What if the plane crashes?" "What about children taking drugs?" "What if something happens to me?"
Then how to reverse catastrophic thinking can be achieved through three steps.
The first step is to identify distorted thinking. At this time, we must turn our worries into positive statements. For example, "What if the plane crashes?" Replace it with "I think the plane is going to crash."
The second step is to question the correctness of the distorted view. Try asking yourself this question: How likely is it that what you are worried about will happen? Did this happen often before? If the worst happens, is it really impossible to handle it?
The third step is to replace distorted views with realistic ideas. This requires us to proceed from reality and objectively evaluate reality, so as to slowly accept reality and get rid of anxiety.
In addition to catastrophic thinking, there are seven ways of distorted thinking.
2 polarized thinking, that is, thinking that things are either black or white, or good or bad. For example, a mother wants to be a good mother. One morning, she was late to send her children to school. She felt that she was an unqualified mother and began to become anxious.
Coping method: define yourself as a percentage. For example, "20% of my work is not good enough, but 80% of my performance is still excellent."
③ Overgeneralization, that is, drawing general conclusions based on single evidence or single event. For example, once I got carsick on the train, I never took the train again.
Coping method: Use numbers instead of adjectives to describe feelings. For example, "I lost a lot" was changed to "I lost 4000 yuan". The two give people a different feeling.
See through other people's minds, that is, guess other people's minds.
Coping method: When speculating other people's thoughts, remind yourself not to guess blindly. Many troubles in life are my own guesses.
⑤ Magnification means exaggerating the seriousness of the problem.
Coping methods: stop using words such as "terrible", "I can't stand it" and "terrible"; At the same time, tell yourself, "I can handle difficulties" and "I can handle them".
⑥ Individualization, that is, thinking that what others say and do is related to themselves, and loving to compare with others, and establishing their own value on the basis of comparing with others.
Coping methods: When you think others' reactions are related to you, don't draw a conclusion until you get reasonable evidence; When comparing with others, remind yourself that everyone has advantages and disadvantages.
7 "Should" means that there is a set of strict rules for the behavior of yourself and others. For example, "I should be a perfect person" and "he should be like this".
How to deal with it: when we have a "should" statement, we need to find some exceptions and tell ourselves that there are often some people who are not like this and have a good life.
Face your fear
The author says that facing up to fear is the most effective way to overcome it.
How to face up to fear, exposure therapy can be used. It refers to a series of activities designed to make the healer face up to a certain fear, and bring the healer into the fear situation step by step until he is no longer afraid.
The process of exposure is divided into two stages: coping with exposure and complete exposure.
In the stage of dealing with exposure, the parties need to deal with exposure through auxiliary means. Auxiliary means include accompanying the therapist and practicing abdominal breathing.
The second stage is complete exposure. At this time, the parties should directly enter the fear situation and do not rely on auxiliary means for treatment. Is to let the healer completely control the fear situation.
For example, overcoming elevator phobia. In order to cope with the exposure stage, you can find someone to accompany you in the elevator. Take the elevator with the escort to the next floor, then go up and down two floors, and so on. In the stage of complete exposure, the healer needs to take the elevator without escort, and gradually increase the number of floors from the upper and lower floors until the fear is completely overcome.
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5. Exercise regularly
Regular exercise is good for your health. For example, cardiopulmonary function, skin, sleep and neurotransmitter secretion are all related to exercise. There are many ways to exercise. Here are some. You can choose the right one according to your own situation.
Running: jog 3 miles at a time, 4~5 times a week.
Swimming: 20~30 minutes each time, 4~5 times a week.
Cycling: every time 15mph, 3~5 times a week.
Aerobic exercise: 45~60 minutes each time, 3~5 times a week.
Brisk walking: 3 miles per hour at a time, 4-5 times a week.
In short, no matter what kind of exercise you choose, it is very important to get your body moving.
Take care of yourself
The so-called self-care means having enough sleep, entertainment and free time in daily life. Taking care of yourself can be achieved by arranging free time.
Leisure time refers to the time to put down what you are doing, have a rest and regain your energy. Divided into three categories: rest time, entertainment time and relationship time. They are the key to developing a carefree life.
Rest time, that is, the time to suspend all activities and let yourself exist quietly. For example, lying down listening to music and meditating.
Leisure time refers to participating in activities that can replenish energy and reshape yourself. Such as fishing, hiking and baking bread.
Relationship time refers to putting aside personal goals and responsibilities and enjoying the time with others. The "people" here include partners, children, parents, friends and pets.
The ideal number of idle hours is: daily 1 hour, weekly 1 day, every 12~ 16 weeks 1 week.
Besides, you can take care of yourself in the following ways:
Have a good sleep at night.
Take a nap during the day, such as a nap 15 minutes.
Read books that cultivate the mind.
Take time to enjoy your senses, such as taking a hot bath, visiting the park and buying yourself a bunch of flowers.
Simplify life
If you want to reduce anxiety, you can choose to simplify your life. The following methods can help us simplify our lives.
① Narrow the living space. It can reduce the accumulation of articles and reduce the cleaning and maintenance time.
(2) Clean up unnecessary things. To reduce clutter, we must clean up useless things.
3 engage in your favorite career. This will help people to live more intently and simply.
④ Shorten commuting distance. Rush hour traffic increases people's sense of stress, so this method is one of the most important changes to simplify life.
⑤ Reduce the time facing the screen. In modern times, almost everyone has a smart phone. Internet allows us to receive a lot of information and make more choices. These situations will complicate our lives.
6. Get close to nature. For example, walking in the Woods, such simple activities can calm our hearts and reduce anxiety.
In addition, you can simplify your life by controlling the time on the phone, giving simple housework to others and learning to refuse.
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Stop worrying
When you are worried, you can adopt the following two methods.
The first is to divert attention. It includes:
Let the body move, you can do exercise or do housework.
Find someone to chat with.
Do 20 minutes of deep relaxation exercises, such as gradually relaxing muscles and guiding introspection.
Listen to beautiful music.
Experience pleasant things, such as watching interesting movies and tasting delicious food.
Show creativity, such as painting, playing the piano and making handicrafts.
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The second is dissociation. It refers to the process of getting rid of the entanglement of useless thoughts and stopping the integration with useless thoughts. When we leave our thoughts, we will realize that these thoughts are just a series of words and imagination in our minds.
Dissociation is divided into two steps. The first step is to realize your current thoughts. At this point, we can say to ourselves, "What do I want to say at this moment?" "What is my opinion at present?"
Step 2: After recognizing your own ideas, ask yourself if these ideas are useful and can help you.
For example, I feel fat and sad. This is the current idea. Then I have to ask myself: "Is it useful to be sad because of being fat?" What's the point of being sad if it doesn't work? Should we stop being sad and do something meaningful, such as improving through exercise? This is the process of dissociation.
In a word, freedom is to let go of useless ideas, whether they are true or not.
The common dissociation methods are as follows.
(1) Be aware of your inner thoughts, that is, pay attention to the present thoughts and write them down on paper.
2 classify ideas. When I realize an idea, I will start with "My current idea is …".
(3) Imagine the leaves floating in the stream. Imagine yourself sitting by a stream, with leaves falling on the water and drifting by. At this time, you can put your thoughts on the leaves and let them float away with the water.
④ Imagine a computer screen. Imagine your idea appearing on a computer screen, which is constantly changing fonts, colors and shapes.
⑤ Speak out your thoughts. For example, sing the idea of "I am a loser" with the tune of "Happy Birthday Song". Slide the button below the audio and video to the left, and click "Practice" to listen to Teacher Fan Deng's demonstration.
9. respond immediately
How to deal with the current anxiety, the author suggests three ways.
① coping strategies. Including the above-mentioned methods to relax the body, relax the spirit, face up to fear and divert attention.
2 Respond to the statement. Refers to self-talk that takes you away from fear when you are anxious. It makes people get rid of the idea of "if" and turn to a more relaxed and confident idea. For example, when you feel difficult, say to yourself, "Relax and take your time." When you feel scared, say to yourself, "I can handle these symptoms and feelings."
③ Affirmative words. Its purpose is to help people face anxiety more positively and confidently through positive words. For example, when you feel anxious, say to yourself, "I am learning to let go of my worries." At the same time, my ability to control anxiety is improving every day ... "
Life is so beautiful, why don't we live happily every day? I hope more anxious friends can come out, unload their burdens and go into battle lightly. You have to believe that there is a better you waiting for you ahead.
It is normal to feel a little worried in life. This is a physiological self-protection mechanism that reminds us when the body has a premonition that something bad may happen.
However, excessive worry will turn into anxiety and serious anxiety, which will have a great impact on work and life and become a pathological manifestation.
There are two main reasons for anxiety. Let's talk about it briefly:
Perfectionism, too hard on yourself.
Usually, perfectionists are very concerned about the result, and they are more afraid of failure than ordinary people. When dealing with things, they either don't do it, but if they want to do it, they must succeed and don't allow themselves to make a little mistake.
You know, today's society is becoming more and more complicated. How can anyone not make mistakes? Even if we are good enough, where are the others?
We can decide what we are worried about all day, such as the growth of our children, the loyalty of our lovers, the development of our company and our future. According to Murphy's law in psychology, the more we are afraid of something, the more likely it is to happen.
So, take it easy, accept the imperfections of others and our own imperfections, because we live in an imperfect world.
Inferiority, too belittle yourself.
Some people are not poor in ability, but feel inferior. I always feel that I can't do anything well, and I am afraid of being laughed at by others. Slowly, self-confidence is getting worse and worse, and when something happens, it becomes anxious.
Such people often have some terrible past, such as poor grades at school and poor family background. These experiences hit their self-confidence, and they still think they are inferior to others until they grow up.
In fact, all this is over, and I have to turn them out and scare myself.
In life, not so many people look down on you, and not so many pairs of eyes stare at you every day.
So, you can live your life according to your own ideas, live high, and live in the present.
Past experience regards them as an incentive. Who doesn't like the drama of life reversal?
Anxiety is a hoop you put on yourself. After a long time, you want to let go and take off.
Don't be bored alone at ordinary times, go out for a walk, do exercise, chat with friends and leave your troubles to time. After a long time, you will find that things that once made you anxious are actually floating clouds.
Ignore it and just focus on positive energy.
Only time can cure! It will light up in a minute!