"bully" comes from the English word "Bully", which is transliterated. Bullying, insulting.
The word first came into people's field of vision, which should have started with "school bullying".
Youth movies in the United States and Taiwan Province Province are always full of campus gangs, rebellion, truancy, and even trauma, bloodshed and drugs.
These are fertile soil for bullying.
Big bullies small ones, men bully women, many bully widows, the strong bully the weak, and the expensive bully the cheap.
Bullying is often not caused by realistic contradictions, but an overbearing, performance-oriented emotional catharsis, which is a secret incitement of hormones.
Later, with the video news of fighting among primary and middle school students in China, people were surprised to find that our motherland is a garden. Although the flowers in the garden can accept sunlight and rain, they are also exposed to all kinds of complicated violence and shocks.
The attention of school bullying is increasing day by day. What about "workplace bullying"?
After entering the workplace, we are no longer flowers, but we must be independent and resist the trees and backbones of the sky.
Maybe the ghost of classmates threatening to bully has gone away from us.
However, does "workplace bullying" really no longer exist?
The workplace is a place that involves rising channels and performance appraisal, and the predictability of the overall cake is often limited.
And the psychology of adults is often more complicated than that of children.
The child's "bullying" may be just because of collecting protection fees and venting.
However, the center of adults' struggle for their future and status can often breed stronger and more deadly forces.
Crowding out, slandering, belittling, not cooperating, restraining, destroying and even sexually assaulting.
It is not imposed on the body, but attached to the language, borrowing emotions, and finally, it will inevitably not erode the body.
There is a saying that the workplace is like a monkey mountain. Look up, all ass; Looking down, all smiles; Look around, all eyes and ears.
Maybe a little extreme, but in the workplace, I really don't believe in tenderness and warmth.
This is not only for survival and promotion, but also for professionalism.
Workplace competition is everywhere, and "workplace bullying" is more like a superimposed package of workplace games.
There is an episode in "Qipa Shuo" that discusses the topic: When you meet a bitch in the workplace, is it a tooth for a tooth, or is the wind light?
In fact, the bitch is just an extreme, more "overbearing", undercurrent surging, can kill three thousand enemies without swearing.
"school bullying" caused an uproar in the society, and families, schools, social organizations and legal institutions are all trying to build a barbed wire for children.
Children who suffer from "school bullying" often suffer from the shadow that they can't get rid of all their lives, and even get tired of learning, play truant, abandon school, and even give up life.
However, "workplace bullying" will not be eliminated with people's adulthood. On the contrary, frustration in the workplace can erase the accumulation of a person's hard-working career for more than ten years and his passion and planning for the future. What's more, it will involve one or more families.
Then, why can't "workplace bullying" get up and do the opposite, instead of doing it, instead of doing it well?
So, what should I do if I encounter "workplace bullying"?
1, modest, sensitive and not angry
First of all, we should demand ourselves with professional standards.
Entering the workplace, work is essentially just our survival tool. Even if you have climbed to the top of Maslow's needs and asked for self-realization, that work is essentially a means of realization.
Depressed, afraid and tired of work, then you lose, and the purpose of "bullying" has been achieved.
I never advocate being too modest in my work. Be humble, but not humble.
Newcomers who have just entered the workplace should be diligent and sensible, polite and modest, but there is no reason to be modest.
I don't understand, study hard, but there is no need to be timid.
No, ask, but there's no need to grovel.
Position, seniority, but don't care about people.
Also, don't be angry anyway, because if you are angry, you will lose.
Step 2 take it back
When I first joined the company, there was a girl in the administrative office of the unit who was untidy after 90. She is very unfriendly, and especially hates skinny people like me.
You will find that such people who lose face are often not good at face value and clothing.
Because elegant and exquisite people are works of art, they will not allow themselves to exude a discordant texture.
Sending and receiving documents, dealing with logistics affairs, never get a good face.
For newcomers, for old employees. Of course, the leader will always smile.
Workplace regulations prohibit being late and leaving early, but they do not prohibit colleagues from showing bad faces.
Endure for a whole year, and finally one day, after being scolded, I stood in front of her and slowly told her:
"Administration does not belong to the scope of work of the business department, so we need your assistance and service. Please specify the information materials we need to provide. We really can't do other services. Sorry. "
I think, if I stand on my own side, I will be shocked by my calmness and detachment.
After all, a person who endured wearing little shoes for more than a year suddenly surfaced like an iceberg, and everyone would have a cold war.
It can be tolerated, but the last move will be a surprise.
A conversation released a signal: don't mess with me, I'm not easy to mess with.
Later, guess what, Xiaopang Niu often praised me on WeChat and invited me to eat hot pot.
Whether I want to be friends with her or continue to get along with her politely is up to me.
3, grinding, grinding, grinding
The post-90 s are too tender, and there are still some old fritters.
Like the big sister next door.
Just because I once urged her to ask for a document that she had put off for countless days, she cried in front of me. .
Pear blossoms bring rain, and they are wronged and distressed. They told me that she really didn't know what to do.
She is almost 50 this year, and I just turned 27.
After touching her head to comfort her, she regarded me as her sworn enemy. From then on, there is no need to contact her for any work, so we should cooperate well.
I don't know. What do you want? What do you want me to do? Oh, wait a minute. ...
Isn't cold violence and non-cooperation a kind of "workplace bullying"?
In fact, leaders who really expand their territory will not have time to "bully" you.
In the workplace, those who lean on the old and sell the old are often old-fashioned things that can't be mixed well. There is no hope of promotion, which torments the younger generation to seek psychological balance.
Want to know this, every time she heckled me, I told her clearly:
What I want, what you want to do.
At both ends of the phone, their respective leaders, clear sky and day, came to wash away my grievances.
More often, she may not find it fun. In the days to come, everything will be peaceful and business will be business.
I found that in this psychological war of non-violence and non-confrontation, it is a very effective weapon package to slow down, speak clearly, be calm and look directly at each other, which is worth training for newcomers in the workplace.
4. Can you stand the test?
There is also a kind of bullying that many people are willing to accept.
The bait is the so-called "interest" in front of us.
Working relationship, I contacted the big boss of my brother's unit. After the official business, he told me on WeChat:
"What do you like to eat? Do you want to eat seafood together? "
After learning about the real estate I bought, WeChat came again:
"The owner of this property is very close to me. What kind of room do you like? You can choose at a discount. " .
"I am very grateful to you. I want to be your friend, best friend and close friend ..."
This is my first time to face the so-called "opportunity". If it's a seafood dinner, I can shrug it off.
But in cities with high housing prices, the discounts on houses are really considerable.
Wechat, small, life is not embarrassing, and there is no concern in my heart.
At that time, in the circle of friends, I sprinkled dog food and announced my good husband.
Tell all the friends in the circle that we love reading, walking together, decorating a new house and raising two lovely dogs.
I love my other half very much, even without a big house and a beautiful house.
In fact, many of you chose by yourselves, and many of you are willing to hook up.
In the workplace, we are also ignorant children carrying small schoolbags.
May you and I both be knowledgeable and fearless.
Because nothing can stop us, only our growth and courage.