1 impedance
Psychological counseling is actually a process of breaking through resistance. Impedance is essentially a person's resistance to self-exposure and self-change in the process of psychological counseling. (Psychoanalysis, behaviorism, humanism and other schools are all described and analyzed)
There are three reasons for impedance: (1) Because growth will inevitably bring some pain; (2) Because the disorder of behavior is mechanical; (3) Help-seekers may have the motivation to resist psychological counseling.
Solution technology: mainly discuss the impedance problems such as silence, talkativeness, dependence and empathy.
Mute technology:
During the negotiation, the two sides were unable to continue the dialogue and fell silent. Because some important information runs in the minds of the parties, the parties are allowed to be silent and the conversation is temporarily suspended; And after the silence, ask what happened when the parties were silent. The conversation after silence can better reflect the focus of the parties' problems.
? Case 1
Customer: I scolded my mother angrily yesterday, and she left sadly after listening to my scolding.
Consultant: What did you scold your mother? (concrete technology)
Customer: I ... I ... (silent for 30 minutes)
Counselor: Just now I asked you what you called your mother. You stop talking, and then keep silent. I want to know what you were thinking during that silent time. (silent technology)
Adjust multi-party call status:
Sometimes a lot of words come from the consultant himself; In most cases, talkativeness is caused by the helper. The types are catharsis, confession, performance, manifestation, confession, disguise, extroversion and so on. According to different types, counselors should adopt corresponding strategies to guide help-seekers to express themselves in a targeted manner. During this period, respect and understanding are very important.
Correctly treat dependence psychology:
The client regards the consultant as an expert in solving problems and hopes to solve his problems directly; Advisers become important figures of the party; Dependence is the form of interpersonal communication between the parties. When there is a dependency problem, the dependency problem of the parties must be dealt with immediately so as not to hinder the negotiation.
Common types: don't think for yourself, listen to suggestions completely; No matter big or small, as long as there are difficulties, I hope the counselor will help me solve them; Take consultants and consultation places as shelters.
When psychological counselors find that clients are dependent, they should clearly tell each other that only by solving problems themselves can they grow up, that is, their mental health can be improved. Guide them to think independently, find their own solutions to problems, and gradually reduce the time and frequency of consultation.
Carefully grasp empathy phenomenon
Empathy: refers to the process that seekers transfer their feelings, attitudes and attributes to their parents or an important person in their previous lives to psychological counselors, and respond to intimate hotels accordingly.
Types of empathy: negative empathy and positive empathy. General goodwill and empathy. Empathy and dependence.
Case 1
Help-seekers have positive empathy for counselors.
The client was a male employee in his twenties who committed suicide because he broke up with his girlfriend. After the client was rescued, he was referred to a counselor for consultation. After several discussions, the parties no longer have the idea of suicide. In this consultation, the parties praised and cared for the consultant many times.
Counselor: I found that during this consultation, you constantly cared about me and praised me. I have a feeling that our relationship seems to be different from before. I wonder if it feels right? (instant technology)
Customer: That's right. I don't know when I started worrying. I'm afraid you will think I'm bored, so you hate me and stop helping me. You are the only woman I have ever met who knows me. She makes me feel happier than ever. I hope our relationship can continue, but I am afraid that when I stop consulting, you will think I am bored and ignore me, so I want to change your opinion of me through my praise and concern.
Counselor: You want to win my favor by caring and praising me, and then unconsciously correct my opinion of you and become my boyfriend. (instant technology)
Client: That's right (embarrassed smile). It seems that this trick does not work for you.
Consultant: How do you feel when your tactics fail? (concrete technology)
Party: I'm sorry.
Counselor: Tell me more about your feelings. (concrete technology)
Client: In fact, there are many sad elements, and I am very sad. Your reaction reminds me of my girlfriend. I tried to save our feelings in this way, but I failed. Her refusal plunged me into complete despair, so I don't want to live.
Counselor: So my reaction to you just now also made you feel completely desperate? (instant technology)
Customer: A little.
Consultant: Make it clear. (concrete technology)
Client: Enlighten me, my heart hurts. That kind of pain makes me feel so sad that I don't want to live anymore.
Counselor: Tell me more about the feeling of sadness. (concrete technology)
Customer: I seem to feel so helpless. I seem to be abandoned by everyone and can't find any support.
Counselor: Did you feel helpless, helpless and abandoned before you committed suicide? (questioning skills, closed questions)
Party: Right.
Consultant: Tell me, when and under what circumstances did you feel this way. (concrete technology)
Client: When my parents divorced. ...
Through the consultant's immediate response, help the client to perceive his feelings, attitudes and ideas about important people and deal with his problems with important people.