Classic slip of the tongue (I'm going to laugh you to death)
1. When I was in college, I went to Hengshan to play. I was halfway up the mountain. I was so tired that I just wanted to have a rest when I saw an Obasan buying souvenirs by the roadside. I went up and asked, "Wife ..."
2. Once I was driving, a beautiful colleague hitchhiked. As soon as I sat next to it, I was very nervous and said, wear a condom! Beauty will never talk to me again. . . Depression ING
3. Before, others came to menstruation's house and just entered the door. It happened that my aunt was going to the bathroom. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down, I'll pour you some urine!" " "I should pour some tea.
During my internship, I said to a teacher: Teacher Chen, is your surname Chen?
Our university went to the factory for metalworking practice, and the master said: For safety reasons, try to ensure that one male classmate and one female classmate have one bed. At that time, all the boys burst into laughter and the girls blushed. During my internship, I did almost all the lathe work for the girls who shared my bed. Finally, considering that she can't do anything, the master didn't check it well, so I advised her to practice. Who knows, she said, I'm used to letting you do it. At that time, I occasionally suddenly felt cold.
6. A friend went to the dumpling shop and asked, "How much is a bowl of jiaozi (for sleeping)?" Just listen to the waitress "bah!" He cried and said, "shameless!" ~
7. During the self-study class, everyone was watching the review. GG said to MM, "I just finished reciting the words, help me write them down." MM doesn't want to be silent, GG asks her, you (touch) me, (touch) me! ! As a result, MM couldn't stand it, shouting, teacher, you see I don't want to (touch) him, but he insisted that I (touch) him ~ ~! ! !
8. I went to my classmate's house for dinner and drank some wine one day. Her father suddenly came in. He wanted to call uncle, but he made a mistake and said, "Dad, come and sit down!" " ~ ~ cold! A bunch of classmates laughed to death.
9. My colleague had a quarrel with someone and opened his mouth in a hurry. "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating. "
10. In primary school, a very annoying boy asked me to borrow an eraser. If I don't borrow it, he will pester me and hit me. Then I shouted with all my strength, "I won't marry (borrow) you." At this time, my classmates immediately quieted down.
1 1. In the computer class, a classmate had a problem with the machine and shouted "Boss, change the machine!" The whole class is ruthless.
12. I spit on your face!
13. I joked with mm: "Don't say you know me, it will affect my reputation!" Mm said, "Do you have children? Can you have children? " `
14. I am a male. I was sick in Guangdong, and I couldn't speak. I went to see a doctor. The doctor told me that Yin Dao was inflamed. I take a closer look, and the diagnosis says inflammation of the pharynx.
15. Buy a computer, the boss offers 4 150, and I counter-offer: boss 4 10, why ~ ~ the boss is dizzy!
16. Last morning when I went to work, I found that my bicycle tire was flat, so I wanted my mother to help me push it outside to catch my breath. And I said, push my tires out.
17. A girl was lovelorn. I advised her: "Two-legged toads are hard to find, and there are many men with three legs!" "
18. When there is labor class in primary schools, weeding is usually done, so the teacher had to remind us to bring hoes the day before school starts. The next day, when the labor class was about to leave, the teacher asked, "How many people brought it?" Hands up, hoe! "
19. enlighten a lovelorn. . Classmate, do you know what sex is?
20. In junior high school Chinese class, someone recited Mao Zedong's poem: A generation of coquettish, ......
2 1. A teacher, today, we went to Yang Xiuzhi to take a shit.
22. Once I ordered a song at ktv, a mm shouted loudly: Give me a stick to cut "Double Jay" every week. ......
23. When I was a sophomore, I especially liked going out shopping by bike with a MM in my dormitory. Dressed up, they got into the elevator together. Suddenly, I remembered that the car seemed to be flat, so I said to her, "Why don't you come with me to have an abortion first?" ~ ~ ~ days .......
24 .. There were a lot of people in the car, and an evil man shouted: Mom stepped on me.
Add a few
1, go home at the weekend, get addicted to cigarettes after dinner, and plan to go for a walk on the pretext. When changing shoes at the door, my father asked me, "Why do you want to leave?" I said, "Go have a cigarette!" As a result, my father found a pack of white sand from me and gave me a good beating.
After coming out from my mother, I went to find my wife. After seeing my wife, I habitually called out, "Mom!"
3. I found that my bike was flat when I went to work in the morning and wanted my mother to push it outside to refuel. As a result, I said, "Push out my tires." Mom was confused, so I smiled and quickly corrected it. As a result, I said, "Fill my car with gas!" "
When I was driving, the female colleague sitting next to me suddenly asked, "Why don't you wear a condom when driving?"
5, the last toilet was convenient, and there was no paper. He said to his wife, "Bring me the paper-wiping donkey!"
6. A girl is lovelorn. I advised her: "Two-legged toads are hard to find, and there are many men with three legs!" "
7. Two people were bickering, and suddenly a person next to them said, "You are really full and have nothing to do!"
8. Colleagues argued with others and opened their mouths in a hurry: "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating.
9. In computer class, a classmate shouted when there was something wrong with his machine. "Boss, change the plane!"
10, reading a post while eating and reading a classic to my wife made her laugh to death, so she said to me, "Read it after dinner, or your brain will get indigestion!"
1 1, once asked a nearsighted person how many degrees his eyes were, and he wanted to say 400 degrees. As soon as he said it, it turned into 400 watts, and his stomach ached with laughter!
12, a leader of the Education Bureau checks the exercises between classes. After the end, the PE teacher should have announced "dissolution", but in a hurry, he forgot his words and held back for a long time, shouting "retreat!"
13. Many teachers were listening to a physical education student's internship class. He's too nervous. When he finally wanted to disband the team, his mind was blank, and he abruptly uttered a sentence: "Attention, attention! Flash! ! "
14, a group of students went to their home in the suburbs to play. We bought some watermelons and put them in the kitchen, and asked a classmate to take a knife to cut them. He didn't come back for a long time, but he came with a cut melon in his hand and said in a panic, "I cut the pumpkin." Everyone laughed wildly, but two seconds later, everyone laughed even harder. It turned out that he had a melon in his hand!
15 There was a teacher surnamed Jiang in high school, who looked like (Tang Priest on a Chinese Odyssey). I went to ask him a question and blurted out, "Teacher Tang, this question ..."
16, one day I had a flat tire while driving and asked one of my colleagues, "Where is the inflatable one?" Colleague said: "The streets are full of abortions!"
17, go to McDonald's to buy sweet barrels, and finally it's my turn. I can't wait to say, "Give me two rollers!" " "I didn't expect the waiter to say to me loudly;" Two rollers, four dollars! "
18, I met a long-awaited girl who came out of the bathhouse and wanted to get close. For a long time, I said, "Take a shower. Are there many men in it?"
19, once I went to dinner, I said to my boss when I checked out, "Husband! Check out! " The proprietress was nearby at that time. ...
20. A teacher played mahjong all night. Seeing that the blackboard had not been wiped, he was furious: "Who is sitting in the village today?" Don't clean the blackboard! "
2 1, once my uncle saw my sister-in-law wearing a big treasure and suddenly shouted, "You have such good skin, why do you still use soothing treasure?"
22. I just bought a house and called a buddy excitedly: "I bought a house, only a dime (I forgot to say the word" rough house "), and I still need to decorate it." The buddy said, "Is there only one toilet? Then where do you live? "