Objective: To help students learn to deal with minor conflicts with their parents and express filial piety appropriately.
Planning: Chai Fang
Moderator: Chai Fang.
Activity flow:
Write the theme on the blackboard? Filial piety? Filial piety and decoration (completed by students)
Second, the teacher presided over:
1, prologue: filial piety, this is what every student sitting here has, right? It's just that many times, we don't know how to express our filial piety. Now, please take out a piece of paper and write the following questions: 1. What do you hate most about what your parents give you? 2. Is there any good solution? You can write your name or not. What we care about is not what happened to our parents or children, but what we care about is: what problems make us feel bad and whether we can find appropriate solutions to these problems. I wanted to invite my parents to discuss it, but I didn't invite them because of my classmates' concerns. Today, I am regarded as? Sweet mom? Okay？ (Student laughs)
2. Collect and sort out the questions.
3. Choose to reflect the frequently asked questions.
3. Let the students talk about their feelings and solutions to this problem.
4. Teachers express their views in time and communicate with students.
Third, the process record:
1, the collection shows that each student has handed in his own questions. More concentrated is that parents always compare other children with themselves, which is very nagging.
2. Teacher: Parents always compare other children with themselves, which is very nagging. Have many students had similar experiences? (More people answered) Let's talk about this question today. I regard it as two problems: one is comparing and the other is nagging. Let's start with the first question. Please talk about your psychological feelings when you hear such words. Even if you haven't heard of it, you can talk about your own views.
Li Yihao: Raise the ambition of other children and destroy the prestige of your own children.
Kinsey: I feel wronged because I can't see my efforts.
Ethan: It makes me feel that I am nothing in their hearts.
Left: I know they are doing it for my own good, but they just don't want to hear it.
Gao He: Very upset.
Zhao Huan: Sad and helpless, I don't want to study.
Classification of treatment methods:
Zhang Lei: I don't want to hear it. Turn around and leave.
Li Shaoqiang: One ear goes in and the other goes out. What should we do?
Tian Zhuangzhuang: My mother and I have a good relationship. She said I don't care. My father is a little cold. When he talked about me, I said, What do you think of his father?
Ni Qian: I said to him, "You will wait and see. I'll prove it to you next time. "
Wang Tuo: Turn around and leave. You won't go home if you keep nagging.
Zhang Lei, do you think those good dolls you mentioned are willing to be your dolls?
Teacher: Do you think these measures are appropriate? Why?
Student:
Liu Gang: It's a bit bad to say that dad is not as good as other people's dads, which will make dad sad.
Ma: It's too much to turn around and leave without going home. After all, that's your mother.
Guo: It is simply unfilial to say that others are willing to be your baby.
Teacher: Who has a good solution?
Health:
Tian Ling: Meng: When my mother talked about me, I said, Mom, just wait and see. I will definitely surpass him in the next exam.
There is no good way, because that's your mother, you can only listen, what else can you do?
Yao: My parents don't say that now. I have no problem with my parents.
Teacher: There is no contradiction with parents. This is the best thing. If there is contradiction, it is normal, the world itself is contradictory, and people's thoughts themselves cannot be completely consistent, especially parents and children. The problem is how to solve these problems properly so that neither of us will be too sad.
I think no matter what your parents say about you, they don't want you to be unhappy in their hearts; Similarly, whatever you do, you don't want them to be unhappy, do you? In other words, from the heart, it is not that there is no filial piety, but that we can't find a suitable way to express our feelings. Therefore, it is not unfilial, but the behavior has become unfilial. Do you agree with this view? Most students say yes, but some don't talk.
On this premise, let me talk about my understanding.
First of all, do you know why parents say so?
Zhao Lixin: For my own good.
Teacher: You can say that, which means you know your parents' hearts. The teacher thinks that the reason why parents say this, and many parents will say the same, is because the education in China has influenced parents' way of thinking. First, traditional ideas make parents generally have a kind of psychology? Modesty, whether you think your baby is not as good as others', you always say it in front of children, especially in front of outsiders. Because they are afraid that others will say that their mother sells melons and praise themselves. Therefore, when your mother says you are not good in front of others in the future, you should take it as a courtesy, a modesty, something that most parents will say, and don't be sad. Second, everyone has a psychology, that is, they want their children to be better than others' children, so they always feel that you can be better now. The purpose of their saying this is to let you know the gap between you and others, and let you know that you should follow others' example and catch up. But he didn't mean to upset you. Third, the current education and social reality in China make parents more utilitarian and anxious than you. They are most worried about one problem, that is, you can't find a good job if you don't get into college in the future, and your life will be a mess if you can't find a good job. In the final analysis, I am worried about my future quality of life. The essence of this kind of thought is love for you, which is unparalleled deep love. However, this is an incomplete thought. It ignores a very important problem, that is, entering the university is only a short-term learning goal, and achieving this short-term goal needs the support of many factors, such as ideological understanding, feelings, perseverance, thinking quality, behavior habits and so on. They may only care about your grades, not your psychology. They sacrifice themselves to create all good learning conditions for you, but they don't teach you how to deal with problems. They don't have time to think about how to cultivate your study habits, how to treat people and so on. The ultimate goal of learning should be to cultivate a good habit, form a good world outlook, values and outlook on life, and form a good thinking quality. In life, there is an idea, an idea of regular good behavior and an idea of evil behavior. Different angles of thinking, different actions and different psychological feelings. Blindly emphasizing getting into college to find a good job seems to have a clear goal, but in fact it is equivalent to completely equating study with finding a job, so some children will think that many people can't find a job after getting into college, so why should I take the exam? Other children will think it's far away, so don't worry. Other children have no motivation when they study, because they can't feel the feeling of success and the happiness of learning itself. Parents may not realize this problem, because many parents may not be as well educated as you. If we find the cause, we should prescribe the right medicine. So the next question is how to deal with this problem.
I give you two suggestions: first, self-education; Second, educate parents.
Scene 1: Two students perform:
Mom: (Seeing that my son can't eat well when playing with his mobile phone, he said): Eat quickly, the meal is getting cold.
Son: (without looking up, he said): Nothing, I went through the customs!
Mom: I bought you a mobile phone so that you can contact me at school. Playing games and forgetting to eat is good for you! Give me the phone! Don't bring it!
Son: angry, throw your mobile phone on the dining table and slam the door.
Mom: Wait until the evening 12, and go out to find my son before he comes back?
Ask students to express their opinions.
Zhang Tong: My son has gone too far. Mom cooked a meal, and when you come back for dinner, you play with your mobile phone instead of eating, which makes mom sad.
Li Shuai: Mom didn't buy you a mobile phone to play games. You can't understand your mother's heart. It's double harm to your mother that you still lose your temper and don't go home.
Ma Yuteng: Our main task now is to study. We are addicted to playing games and certainly can't study hard.
John young: Such behavior is too unfilial.
Teacher: Who can tell me whether the mother's handling method is appropriate?
Zhu: I think mom handled it right. I have reminded you, but I haven't stopped. Where are the parents? Should parents call? Parents, don't be lazy. Parents should listen to them. Parents' responsibilities. Must be accepted. I still had it with me this morning.
Zhang Chenxi: I think mom should be more patient. Don't lose your temper with her yet, and don't say she doesn't have a cell phone.
Li Yurong: We are so old that we have no respect for our mother. This is a bad behavior.
Teacher: The mother's biggest mistake is not to teach her children how to respect their parents and let them know what to do and what not to do. Growing up, I only dealt with the matter itself, and I didn't give my children positive guidance in peacetime. The child is willful, regardless of his parents' feelings and consequences. Why is this happening? First of all, my mother's education level is not very high. She doesn't know how to educate her children. This situation is quite common. Think about it. Is your mother as educated as you are now? What should you do in the face of the present situation of Zhengyang?
First of all, you are now about 16 to 17 years old. After ten years of study, you have mastered a lot of cultural knowledge and improved your understanding of life. Whether I have thought about this question before or not, I should think about it now: what I like and what kind of person I want to be. Please write down this sentence and read it three times by yourself.
There is a child named Sun in Class 27 of high school. Do you know him? He moved me very much. Our art club will hold a debate contest. He is not our student. After learning the news, he came to me and said he would attend. He watched all the videos related to the debate online, and watched them more than once. After in-depth research on the tactics of the debate, he won the runner-up in the debate held by the Student Union last year. A few days ago, I was a judge in the debate competition of Grade One in Senior High School. It happened that he came to watch the competition. As an audience, he commented on both sides of the debate competition, which was very insightful. He provided all the video materials for the students in our club. He touched me. First, because he has something he loves, it is not harmful to others and society, but also beneficial to himself. The second is that he actively studies for what he loves and pursues it earnestly and persistently. He is only sixteen or seventeen years old, and he has been doing this for a long time. I'm thinking, if his parents stop him from doing this, I'm willing to persuade his parents to respect his choice and support him. The child's academic performance is also good, because he wants to go to a good university to realize his dream. Therefore, it is very important whether you can have something you like to do, whether you can realize the advantages and disadvantages of this thing for you, and what are the advantages and disadvantages for others and society. This is the direction of your action.
Secondly, it is also important whether you are willing to work hard for it. Educate yourself to do what you should do before you are a dutiful son. Because, taking care of yourself, taking the right path and doing the right thing so that parents don't have to worry about you is the first essence of filial piety. What you did was not appropriate. You reflected on yourself after being reminded. If you don't reflect on your mistakes, you are not qualified to ask others to be good to you, nor to ask others to love and respect you. As for others' kindness and respect for you, it is the cultivation of others, and you don't deserve it. Including your parents. We are talking about equality now. Equality is conditional, not unconditional. The condition is that you know how to respect others and know the basic principles of dealing with people. Lazy, irresponsible, light to blame, heavy to blow.
Many years ago, there was a big discussion: Is it right or wrong to have a dutiful son under the stick? A man was beaten by his parents all his life and hated them. Finally, he has a bad relationship with his wife. Some people say that my parents hit me because I was wrong. If you don't hit me, I won't pay attention. After hitting me, I changed. Now I am very grateful to them for putting me back on the right path. Another person said that it is natural for parents to beat their children, and the past is the past. I still love them. Different people treat their parents' behavior with different mentality, and finally embark on different life paths. So, first of all, don't resent what your parents did to you. How can people who can't even forgive their parents forgive others? Parents' ways are wrong, just a matter of ways and means, and I didn't give you bad feelings from the heart. You have felt the limitations of parental education. Do you take it for granted that you have received more education than them, but you have not done better than them? If you understand this article, I believe you will find more ways to deal with problems in harmony with your parents.
Scene 2
Mom: (Seeing that my son can't eat well when playing with his mobile phone, he said): Eat quickly, the meal is getting cold.
Son: (without looking up, he said): Nothing, I went through the customs!
Mom: I bought you a mobile phone so that you can contact me at school. Playing games and forgetting to eat is good for you! Give me the phone! Don't bring it!
Son: Put the phone down quickly and say with a smile. Mom, don't be angry. Now the little guy knows that he is wrong, and correct it at once! Bow to your mother and apologize, please calm down! ?
Teacher: What do you think will happen to Mom? ? Laugh, and the phone won't be confiscated.
Teacher: Why? Eva is very sensible, naughty and lovely.
Teacher: It is a kind of consciousness, a kind of character and a kind of wisdom for parents to see that you know you are wrong and correct it immediately.
In addition to joking, you can also send text messages, write notes and letters, or interview directly. The above is mainly self-education, and then talk about educating parents.
Some students said, educating parents, isn't that looking for a smoke? Parents will say: I eat more salt than you eat, I have crossed more bridges than you have, and you still educate me? Of course, if you say to your parents: I read more books than you, why don't you listen to me and educate you modestly? Do you think it's appropriate? Don't say that your parents don't accept you, even if you are slapped. Because, the way you speak is wrong, not only for your parents, but also for others. Now many of your parents are not as educated as you, and their knowledge level is not necessarily higher than yours. So the way they educate you is not very good, and the purpose of their education is also very simple, that is, I hope you can get into a good university and find a good job in the future. This is the reality that you must face. So far, you have improved your understanding through reading, and realized that the value of reading lies not only in this, but also in improving your way of thinking, enriching your thoughts, broadening your horizons, and making you understand more truth, thus improving your comprehensive quality, which will not only enable you to find a good job, but also enable you to gain more fun in life. Then, you will change the way, for example, communicate with your parents at home, just like the spring rain moistens things silently, so that your parents not only know something he didn't know before, but also make him feel that what you said is reasonable, so that his children really learn a lot of knowledge, which is great. Not telling your parents? Don't you know me? In that case, there is no need to lock up the diary for fear that parents will see it. Although you can have the right to privacy, what can you hide from your parents? It's nothing more than a little affection and a little playful behavior. Think about it. What caused the conflict between you and your parents? What do parents compare you with other children? Then you try to do what you should do. What can your parents say about you? As for your dream, but your parents don't understand and support it, just like running for president, you should use your wisdom to persuade them to understand and support you, instead of quarreling with them or running away from home and hurting your's feelings. Let parents know what you think, why you think so, and let parents know that your idea is reasonable. In this way, they will think about this problem and look at your problem from the perspective you provide them. Maybe they won't support it, but you are educating them. Apply an advertising word? Unrestricted communication? . Everyone's way of thinking will change with the information they receive, so that you can become a source of information to change your parents' way of thinking, and you will educate your parents. It's hard to do, but when you have this consciousness, it's much better than not having this consciousness! Take me for example. Like you, I have experienced a period of conflict with my parents. Unfortunately, no one gave me such guidance at that time, so I didn't understand this until I went to college, read a lot of books and talked to my parents about my thoughts and feelings by writing letters. Although I didn't change my parents in a short time, I avoided direct conflict with my parents in this way and didn't hurt each other in words and attitudes. This is a kind of filial piety. Besides, it's the same with my husband. When we communicate calmly and know each other's thoughts, we increase our understanding and even receive each other's education. My son has no rebellious period. Last night, he joked with me and said, Mom, I still have some regrets. Why didn't I pick on you and my dad? Look what a good education I have received! I said: That's because the seeds your parents planted in your heart are good, so there are no weeds. ? A student asked the teacher, did you hit your son? ? Yes, I played hard. I cry in pain every time I finish playing. Later, I read many books on family education, realized my mistakes and tried to correct them. What really moved me was that when my child was in the fourth grade, I accidentally found a note written by my son in a book. At first glance, I wrote it casually when I was emotional. Why does my mother always think that I am inferior to other children? I wrote a series of question marks, followed by a sentence, why did my mother hit me? I don't want to be her child anymore! Another string of exclamation marks! I remember that once I hit him, he shouted for the first time: You killed me, I don't want to live! At that moment, my tears rolled down. I never thought about children's psychological feelings when I hit them. I thought I was educating him, but he didn't feel it. All he had was the pain of being beaten. Not only did I fail to educate him, but I made him feel the pain of living. After that, I never hit my children again. I forced myself to control my emotions. Every time I want to hit him, I quickly hide in the bathroom to calm myself down. Slowly, I learned to reason with my children calmly. I haven't compared other children with him since then. I only told him how I felt and listened to his feelings. Understand some of his thoughts and feelings. Up to now, my son's vision is broader than mine. I listened to his explanation, talked a lot, and respected his opinion. It can be said that my son is constantly educating me, in his small talk with me, in his account of me. Can you try to influence your parents' thoughts by chatting, telling stories about your own experiences and asking your parents to help you solve the confused problems you are facing?
In the final analysis, when you educate yourself, your filial piety will naturally be felt by your parents. While your parents feel your filial piety, they will also think about some issues that they have never thought of before.