Emotional type explores the world with emotion.
Society is an economic combination and an emotional ocean. Sometimes it is rough and sometimes it is calm, which is closely related to the uneven and complicated emotions expressed by people with different personalities. Intimacy in the family is the cornerstone of social interpersonal relationship and the foundation of human survival and reproduction. It is a small pond, which will be closed from all sides to form a social ocean. In order to decipher such a complex and important emotional code, to integrate the emotional world between people with different personality traits, and to balance the economic society of complex emotional networks, emotional types came into being. It can not only be independent, but also shoulder the heavy responsibility of integrating the world with the other three sub-personalities.
situation
On the workbench of the infant swimming pool, there are two little babies, about two or three months old. They just took a bath, got dressed, wrapped a small quilt and lay on the workbench waiting for their mother to pick them up. One of the babies was crying quietly, probably hungry, but the person he expected was not around. I looked at the little guy with great interest. It is found that as long as someone makes a heavy voice, the baby will cry loudly, full of grievances and resistance. On the contrary, if someone makes a soft voice, the cry will become smaller and the tone will fluctuate with the external sound! It seems that he is talking to people in tears, conveying feelings that urgently need to be cared for, and looking for emotional frequencies that match the outside world. Curious, I tried to interact with my baby with different emotions and tones. Every time, the results are consistent with what I observed for the first time.
Another baby, Gu Zi, was lying on the workbench laughing, and the cries of the children around him fluctuated, which did not affect his happy and satisfied mood at all. The mother was there, but she didn't hold the baby. She said that children seldom cry. I think the personality differences between the two babies are too great, so I deliberately pretended to be very poor and suddenly shouted at the baby with a loud voice, but the child was still very happy with me.
I can't help wondering, "Is this baby deaf?"
A sentence next to my mother blocked my question: "My son can't sleep without listening to music every day."
Children with strong * * * sounds with music should have no problem with their hearing, which may be beyond ordinary people. I retracted my suspicion.
It should be that the emotional ratio of the two babies is very different. The former is more sensitive and the latter is more emotional. The former pricked up his ears to receive other people's voices from childhood, judged his emotions from them, and then adjusted his emotions accordingly. The latter, on the other hand, has a weak emotional response to others. Although all this is irrational, it is impossible for a baby's rational brain to develop to such an extent. This intuitive reaction of babies can prove that there are huge differences in personality, and the basic framework of different proportions of four types of personality is cast in the womb.
Of course, the difference in emotional expression between the two babies has a lot to do with the harmony of the four natural personalities. If we can track their growth, it will play a great role in the verification and development of the four-type personality theory. It's a pity that I don't know them, and it's beyond my character to make such a request rashly, so I can only give up. However, the exploration of emotional character is still very rewarding.
Emotional case 2
Twenty-one chapters of A Dream of Red Mansions
Hearing this, Baoyu couldn't help holding his hand and laughing, "What's the matter with you?" ? "After a few questions, Aaron opened his eyes and said," I'm not so good. Go to another room to freshen up after you wake up. If it is late, you will miss it. Baoyu said, "Where have I been? "？ Aroma sneered, "You ask me, do I know?" ? You can go anywhere you like. From now on, let's give up our hands so as not to make others laugh. Anyway, we're tired of it. There's another' Si Er' and' Wuer'. However, this incident of ours is an insult to our good reputation and surname. Baoyu said with a smile, "Do you remember today?" ! Aroma said, "I remember a hundred years! I can't compare with you. I turned a deaf ear to my words. Say it at night and forget it when you get up early. "
Aroma advised Baoyu not to get too close to his sister, so as not to arouse suspicion. Baoyu was very angry and deliberately ignored xiren. When Baoyu woke up, his mood was over. Seeing that Aroma was angry, he naturally persuaded him. The attacker used the emotional card, first the resentment of deliberate indifference and cynicism, and then the passion to cut off the emotional bond. Finally, the typical emotional expression of "I remember it for a hundred years" turned the injured emotion into a sharp knife and engraved it in my heart, which raised Xiren's love for Baoyu to a climax.
Sure enough, after this burst of true feelings, passion and resentment, Baoyu's inner feelings for xiren were induced to flow out and get back together with xiren.
Baoyu saw that his anger was still on his face and he couldn't stop, so he picked up a jade hairpin from his pillow and dropped it twice. "。 He said, "I won't listen to you anymore, that's all." Aroma quickly picked up the hair clasp and said, "Why bother in the early morning? "！ It doesn't matter what you listen to, and it's worth it. Baoyu said, "You don't know I'm in a hurry! "！ Aroma said with a smile, "Do you know you are in a hurry?" ? Do you know what's on my mind? Get up and wash your face. "With that, the two of them got up and freshened up."
Emotional personality traits
1, good at reading people's minds VS caring about others' comments.
Emotional children are more willing to take care of others than ordinary children. Because he is like having 10,000 antennas on his head, always receiving other people's feelings, and often he can understand other people's needs in the first time.
Emotional people always stare at people when communicating with others, since childhood. Emotional type's security is based on the evaluation of others. If others don't like it, they feel that they are not doing well enough. Children with strong feelings actually live very tired, but they don't know it, thinking that this is how people should be.
They easily fall into other people's emotional world. If teachers are unhappy, they will feel that they have done something wrong. If mom is unhappy, she will feel that she should be fine. If what you do is not recognized, you feel denied. Of course, they will also try to get praise from others, and the outside of life will often be more glamorous. Although they often suppress their inner desires, they will sacrifice their happiness index and accommodate the needs of others.
Children with strong feelings, if there is too much homework, parents should never say too realistic words: "Do it quickly, or when will so much homework be finished?" But to empathize with him: "Yes, there is really a lot of homework today!" "The previous sentence will make the emotional child more wronged and think that parents don't understand him. The latter sentence will make children feel understood and comfortable, and then they will do their homework quickly and well.
Being emotional when you grow up is also helpful, but you will still care about other people's comments. It is often emotional to help others silently in the unit. It's just that I'm very controlling and keep the bad comments and uncomfortable feelings given to me by others in my heart. After all, people can't always hang their faces. Interpersonal communication is an essential ability of social people, and it is normal to feel uncomfortable in communication.
However, it is still difficult for the mind to control its inner feelings. Hearing other people's negative comments, even if it is a small negative, may only be judging others, but as long as it has a little bit to do with yourself, you will feel criticized and uncomfortable from the heart.
Emotional care about other people's evaluation, which is most vividly reflected in adult personality and husband-wife relationship, especially women.
According to Jung's prototype theory, everyone has the opposite sex. Emotional type is a woman's character in everyone. Angry, inexplicably unhappy, often because the listener amplifies the negative comments of the other party. If you don't communicate in time and hide it in your heart, it will break out in an event over time, causing major contradictions between husband and wife.
2, helpful VS too enthusiastic
Helping others is their favorite thing to do. In kindergartens and schools, helping teachers make them feel proud and happy. In the family, I am very willing to help my parents share the affairs. When my parents are sick or tired, I pour water to send food to be caring and attentive, which often melts my parents' hearts. Between classmates, people who need help will not hesitate to lend a helping hand, even regardless of whether this person was kind to himself in the past. It is easy for them to sympathize with the weak and feel that not helping the weak will make them feel uncomfortable. When helping others, I often try my best, for example, helping others with their homework will squeeze out my play and rest time; When helping students who have no stationery, I would rather use the worst and give the best to others.
The emotional type after growing up is particularly significant in this respect. They are especially willing to share what they think is good, delicious and wearable. I always want others to have it when I get it, and I always feel that others who like it will like it, which will inevitably interfere with others' preferences. Many times, this excessive enthusiasm will make others feel uncomfortable being controlled. Of course, if the other person happens to like it, he will think that this person is really too enthusiastic and great.
They are very different from adventure sharing. The purpose of the latter is mainly to pass on their own happiness and then amplify it, while the former sincerely hopes that others can have the same good things as themselves, so they will take pains to do it.
By doing so, it is easy to help others and suppress their own needs, thus causing deep anxiety. After all, the recipients have different personalities and have various ideas. For example, a sensitive receiver will feel good about his face and complain about the people who help him.
3. Love and hate are distinct vs. Love bears grudges
If you are kind to others, you hope others will be kind to you. Once you feel that others are not good to you, you will keep it in mind and feel left out and cheated. Because feelings need to flow, they should be recovered in time after paying. When the emotional cycle cannot be based on the self-improvement mechanism, external emotional reflux is needed as a thrust. Give someone a piece of candy today, and if someone doesn't give it the next day, it will be very uncomfortable, bear a grudge and think that the other person is a bad person. This feeling will always be with him, keeping him away from this person. When parents beat and scold, it is easy to leave a very deep memory in the hearts of children with this personality trait, which leads to hatred. After growing up, even if the rational mind understands the special love of parents, it is still difficult to eliminate the deep feelings in the subconscious. After quarreling with children, if you think that the other party has wronged you, you will ignore the other party and even hide these memories in your heart for a long time. This is very different from the personality characteristics of smart and adventurous children who forget in the blink of an eye after quarreling.
As an adult, the characteristics of holding grudges will be more subtle and subtle, and they will often be denied by their own moral self. The heart of hatred may be fleeting, but it still stirs ripples in the deep heart, which will only increase a person's depressed anxiety and depression or inexplicable anger. Many times, these emotions will turn into accusations and complaints to others, making people around them feel depressed and depressed with such people. Be extra careful with such people. If you don't pay attention, you will become the object of resentment, and accusations and complaints are often the beginning of resentment. If you can communicate at this time, you may find that the source of the festival is just a little sesame. Men should be grateful, and men should also be able to retaliate. These beliefs are outstanding manifestations of emotional character. Since a hero should be like this, the characteristics of emotional hatred will naturally emerge. Of course, this hatred is not stubborn, nor is it unreasonable. Many times, the mind knows it's time to let go, but the feeling in the heart is still the same. If you are moved, you can only clarify that the work at the brain level is ineffective for the heart.
4, care about friendship VS jealousy
Because emotional people always look at others, they will compare with others emotionally, and jealousy and hatred will also arise. With a second child at home, the emotional boss is the most vulnerable. If he can feel his mother's love, he will take care of his brother and sister happily. However, if you feel that your parents are emotionally alienated from a young child because of his birth, your jealousy will rise sharply, or you will mourn as if the world has become gloomy, and even you will seriously threaten to kill them. At this time, as long as you give him some emotional compensation, he will make a 180 degree turn and love his brother and sister. In kindergarten or school, some advantages of peers are appreciated by teachers and can't help but envy them. If they are too jealous, they will be jealous. Because he also wants the teacher to like himself, which is valuable. Of course, jealousy also has energy, and it can also make such children strive to become better in the eyes of others.
Emotional adults will involuntarily like to compare with others, so it is easy to inadvertently breed jealousy. When a friend is praised by others, he will immediately feel left out and hope to be a more likable person than his friend. However, because adults generally have a strong superego, it is easy to control their emotions, and the emotional type is helping others. Many times, this kind of jealousy is just a flash, and even I may not be able to catch it. What I feel may be a slight emotional fluctuation. People with individual emotional characteristics may turn this jealousy into hatred and hurt others because of strong emotional entanglements in the process of growing up. In the emotional world of male-female relationship, this kind of tragedy is the most common. Of course, if jealousy is properly transformed, it can also be transformed into motivation, so that perceptual people can follow the example of others in their work and life and constantly revise and improve themselves.
5, good at gratitude, * * * strong emotional ability VS easy to bear emotional debts.
Gratitude is naturally theirs. Although children don't understand the gratitude at the rational level, they can especially remember others' kindness to themselves. Any adult who smiles at him, listens to him and plays with him will remember this person. If you have something delicious or like, you will remember to share it with others, but it must be a good person he thinks. Which kindergarten teacher is kind to him, will remember to take something from home for the teacher to eat, not to kiss up, but to do it sincerely. When parents are sick, young children will suddenly become sensible, and serving tea and water will make parents feel particularly warm. I can eat delicious food by myself. Although there are not many things, I will let my parents have a taste.
The principle of being an affectionate person is "the kindness of a drop of water is rewarded when a spring comes". Even if it can't be repaid at that time, it will be kept in mind. Even in the past few decades, you have been waiting for an opportunity to fulfill your repayment wish. Thousands of miles to find benefactors, Wan Li to find parents, that is an emotional feature. At work, I will always remember who helped me and who helped me through the most difficult time. Their gratitude is mainly not material, but the warm feelings of others for themselves. Maybe the other party only gives in occasionally, but he still thinks it is a touch of sunshine in winter, which warms his heart.
6. Emotional delicacy VS entanglement
Observing other people's emotions is very delicate and has a very quick response to other people's facial expressions. In infancy, their eyes are different from those of people. When they meet people, they always look at each other with their eyes wide open, but their bodies are close to their parents, and their eyes reveal a little timidity. Weak children can't understand the reactions of adults, but they can't help being tempted by personality traits and constantly facing this confusion. For children with such personality characteristics, parents had better not let others hug them casually. Leaving their parents' arms will make them feel that they have suddenly entered the emotional whirlpool. He was standing outside the whirlpool by his parents' arms, and soon there was no protective layer, and the sky was about to fall.
When they are old and enter kindergartens and schools, the emotions of classmates and teachers can easily affect them. The teacher was very unhappy today and scolded a classmate. Today, a classmate ignored me, and I was very sad. This topic is something that emotional children like to bring up with their parents. Of course, if parents ignore these contents, children will gradually close their hearts and stop expressing to their parents. Emotional fluctuations and injuries will be vented in another way, such as getting angry or crying for no reason for a little thing, making parents feel that children are too melodramatic and unreasonable. In fact, it is the child's emotional growth that is blocked and sends out a distress signal in another way.
With the growth of emotional age, tempering with people will make you slowly put away your delicate tentacles, but they still exist and will not be reduced, but they are restrained a lot. In their communication with others, they still receive all kinds of emotional information with antennas on their heads. Others' eyes and words still bring a lot of feelings, but most of them are depression, depression or thoughtful eruption. In intimate relationships, these daily curly tentacles will take the opportunity to stretch out, especially in lovers and couples. It is even more necessary to throw away the gravel and mud stones accumulated since childhood and suppressed on the emotional branches, and finally find a chance to relax completely and let them return to their original shape. As we all know, this blowout will hurt people around you. If the other party also needs to break out the emotions accumulated over the years, the war of family conflicts and family escalation will be filled with smoke and eventually lead to the separation of husband and wife. The two sides who hate each other are actually just looking for the rich and delicate feelings they want most, and just want to constantly repair the injuries and pains neglected by their parents since childhood in this pursuit.
7. It's annoying to like studying people vs.
Emotional children are interested in people since childhood and always stare at strangers, but others hold him and cry much more than adventurous children, because children are most sensitive to the insecurity brought by strangers. Children look at people by feeling and don't analyze and judge. Sometimes strangers bring him familiar feelings, and emotional children immediately accept each other's throwing themselves at themselves. For this rare phenomenon, there is a folk saying that this person and his children have a fate. In fact, this kind of fate is the familiar smell that children feel in strangers, which gives them a sense of security.
Since learning the theory of type 4 personality, I know that emotional children are naturally cautious about people. When you meet such children, you will keep your distance from them, smile, and don't take the initiative to get too close, so that children have a better sense of security. They like to get in touch with strangers step by step from far and near, instead of making a fuss. This kind of child, if he has enough security for his mother, will soon have a happy expression when he meets strangers even if he doesn't like physical contact. But if the mother can't make him feel safe, for example, the mother's mood changes greatly and she has less time to contact the child, which will make the child more afraid of strangers.
Emotional people still like to study people when they grow up, but their attitude towards people will change completely. Those who have built up a sense of security in their parents since childhood, complain less and help more when they grow up, and often help people around them wholeheartedly. But if you are scolded and distrusted by your parents from an early age, it will distort their feelings. In interpersonal communication, either you can't wait to get bored with others, or you can't get along with others by complaining. In fact, such people need friendship most, but once they get in touch, they will go deep. Due to the lack of in-depth understanding of emotions, coupled with the humble feelings of being born in a family, it is naturally difficult to distinguish the boundaries in interpersonal communication, and often fall into a tense atmosphere of being for yourself and others.
8. Take advantage of others' strengths and compare with others.
Emotional children have people in their eyes since childhood. As long as you are in contact with others, you will pay attention to your words and deeds and like to imitate others. When we are together, if others can win others' love and they can't, they will try their best to create conditions to satisfy their wishes. They will learn from people who are better than themselves and strive to surpass themselves. When you can really surpass others and win the attention of many people, it is actually a normal psychology to hope to compare. If we remove the praise and criticism of words, we can regard them as purposeful and motivated. Moderate comparison is beneficial to health, growth and work.
Everyone wants to be recognized and liked by others.
Which parent wants their children to be in worse health than others? Seeing that children are not as good as others, they will try to seek medical treatment or adjust their lifestyle, strengthen exercise or change their diet structure, so as to make their physical fitness as close as possible to other children. If we don't have the heart to keep up with the joneses and just think that this is enough, then we won't look for reasons to make parenting more scientific and more scientific.
In study, I can learn from my classmates with good grades and keep up with the children with good habits. In fact, this is also a comparison mentality. But there is nothing wrong with it, as long as it is not too much.
However, negative and pathological comparison will bring bad consequences: some people will cause emotional disorders and complain, and always feel that society is particularly unfair to themselves, thus losing their sense of fairness and causing psychological symptoms such as anxiety and depression; Some people are in daydreaming's fantasy state because of blind comparison, and they are not motivated for a long time, divorced from reality, and finally accomplish nothing, causing great harm and frustration to themselves; What's more, comparison is the main cause of crime. In order to enjoy luxury like others, many people go astray and roll in the abyss.
10 vulnerable VS vulnerable
Emotional type children are born with strong emotional ability, and can instantly perceive other people's inner feelings, especially when they get along with their parents, brothers and sisters in intimate relationships. Their eyes are always staring at others, their ears are always listening to others' comments, and their hearts are always weighing their position in others' minds. He is happy when others are happy, and he is worried when others are suffering. Parents can't escape their eyes. Even if parents hide their dissatisfaction, children can still deeply feel their parents' inner complaints. The same is true of communication between peers. They are particularly eager to communicate with each other, but they are often hurt by others' emotional dullness or confrontation in interpersonal communication. Parents will also think that such children are too narrow-minded, especially boys will be accused.
Children with this personality still have strong emotional ability when they grow up, which is suitable for industries that get along closely with others: teachers, psychological counselors, staff of charitable organizations, and leaders who assist the top leaders in the unit. If they can straighten out their emotions in their childhood, or do spiritual growth and wound healing when they grow up, their strong emotional ability will make them feel at home in these jobs. On the contrary, it will make you fall into an emotional entanglement. They can understand other people's emotions at a glance, but the experience accumulated in childhood trauma makes them get an inappropriate interpretation. For example, colleagues in the office are uncomfortable and don't smile as usual. First of all, they will think that others have opinions on themselves. If the leader points out the problems in his work, he will feel that the leader doesn't like himself at the first time. ...
10, often feel wronged in interpersonal conflicts (emotionally difficult to let go)
Emotional children love to cry. They've been doing this all their lives. They can't touch anything that has been wronged, nor can they hear a word that has been wronged. Sobbing, crying, wiping away tears and suppressing grievances are the external manifestations of their inner emotional injuries. If you meet adventurous parents, you will find this personality annoying, and even worry that they will not be able to eat in society when they grow up. As we all know, emotional people often use this way to heal their inner wounds. If parents accept the child's crying at this time and wait quietly for the child's description of things and his inner feelings after crying, the child's emotional types will be well nourished, such as rain and dew moistening things silently. On the contrary, it will make their fragile emotions black and blue.
In the process of growing up, the emotional type often plays the role of victim when interacting with people, always thinking about taking care of others and always expecting others to return. People with big personalities can't respond in time or simply forget or feel each other's efforts, which will make them feel wronged. They always feel that many people in the world are sorry for themselves. As adults, they know that to control their feelings, they can't always vent their grievances through tears in front of others, so they learn to sulk or just complain.