0 1 self-awareness, shift focus.
Get out of love. Maybe you will say, "I can't do it. If I can't get in touch, I will keep scratching my heart and fidgeting. " This is mostly because your self-awareness is not enough. There is only love and partner in your life, but there is no self. It is precisely because of this that I have to force myself to focus on other aspects and find my true self-I will live happily without love.
It will be difficult at first, but what you need to cultivate is the process of "inertial thinking": enrich your life and give yourself half the time to wait for the other party's information with your mobile phone. At first, I suggested using this time to "indulge in pleasure", such as watching plays and playing games, which would have a higher success rate than studying and working.
Find substitutes and replace love with other social relationships.
For example, make more friends and attend more parties, and don't just wander in the circle of love.
Because the former is a disguised form of "self-investment", when you spend all your time on yourself, it will cause a kind of self-suggestion, suggesting that you deserve to be enriched and spend your time, and reminding yourself that in the face of self-investment, love is actually more like icing on the cake than a lifeline.
Lower your expectations.
As mentioned above, anxious attachment groups are "anxious" and "insecure" because they always guess that the other person's feelings are not up to standard, and the reason for this guess is precisely because they demand too much from each other and love, even perfectionism.
Therefore, the most direct and effective way is to lower your expectations-after all, expectations are not a standard definition, but more like a set of rules you have formulated, and everyone has different expressions of "love", so your rules and regulations do not apply to each other's practices.
04 Replace "Playing Temper" with Effective Communication
When the other person does something that makes you unhappy, the direct solution to anxiety and attachment is to sulk or vent in an inappropriate way, which usually confuses the other person and doesn't know where his anger is. So you are more disappointed, and the other party is more ignorant, like a meaningless battle.
When you use effective "communication" instead of "losing your temper", the whole thing becomes clear-the other party knows your bad feelings and won't make it again; You also vented your dissatisfaction and satisfied your emotions.
It can be said that it is a cost-effective approach.
Develop self-confidence
People with anxious attachment often lack self-confidence, so they should affirm themselves more and avoid self-denial. In counseling, many anxious and attached people will have more serious self-denial, which will lead to more serious problems, because they will appear: I am not good enough, I don't deserve it, so I can easily lose you.
People with anxious attachment should pay more attention to their own advantages, establish self-confidence and believe that they are worthy of being loved.