But some people can make executives take time out of their busy schedules on a regular basis and be asked questions that they are willing or unwilling to answer one by one, and pay the price for it. What is his unique charm that makes executives so willing to pay time and money? He is the Japanese executive coach Su Jin Koichiro.
Su Jinguang Ichiro, director of Coach A Co., Ltd., is a professional coach certified by ICF. I used to work in personnel and business strategy at Sony, and now I am engaged in the position of executive coach, whose job is to constantly "ask questions" to executives.
In his book "Learn to Ask Questions Based on Your Experience and Professional Skills", we may find the answer that executives are always willing to spend money to be abused by him. His client is a company executive. Because it involves trade secrets, this book does not reveal too many real business cases. But we can still learn a lot of practical skills between the lines, which is worth studying, thinking and practicing again and again.
Su Jin Koichiro said that asking questions is the difference between excellent people and mediocre people. High-quality questioning has great power, which can change the life track of yourself and others around you and make them develop in a better direction. Su Jinguang Ichiro's job is to constantly ask various questions to executives, and some executives are willing to answer them, which will make them overjoyed; Some problems will hurt executives and may even make them angry, but they won't complain about it. After they are angry, they will still come back to continue their classes and be asked questions by him.
In daily life, we are always dominated by all kinds of questions and answers, and many conversations are composed of questions and answers. In the process of daily communication, there are few conversations that have neither questions nor answers.
"When can I finish what I told you?"
"Did you have lunch?"
"Have you finished your homework?"
"Let's go out for a trip sometime?"
Sometimes we unconsciously ask ourselves questions. Before taking conscious action, we will ask ourselves and answer them before making a decision. Get up in the morning "What suit should I wear today?" "What do you want for dinner?" It is these inner doubts that dominate our thinking and then take action. If we ask the same questions every day, life must be the same. If you want to get an unprecedented life, you must throw yourself new high-quality questions.
What is a quality problem? It is those questions that can make people answer without thinking and bring them new discoveries. Excellent people are excellent because they constantly throw high-quality questions to themselves, which leads to thinking and action. Therefore, no matter who you are, as long as you master the excellent questioning ability, you can become better.
High-quality questions can change lives and improve interpersonal relationships, because your questions can cause the other person to think about areas that he has never noticed, and may even be remembered by friends for life. Su Jin Koichiro said that his life was deeply influenced by a problem. It was ten years ago that he first entered Coach A. In the office, I met Ito Shou, the founder and chairman of Coach A. He was the first professional coach in Japan to be recognized by the International Coaches Union. I asked him a small talk question:
"Su Jinjun, what do you want to do in our company?"
"I want to be an executive coach."
"What do you want to do when you become an executive coach?"
"ah? ! I haven't thought about it ... "
"When do you think you can become an executive coach?"
"... well, I think about three years ..."
Su Jin Koichiro said that when Ito Shou asked him these questions, he didn't think about it at all, so he answered very wisely. Although the conversation was short, it had a great influence on him. I always thought it would be natural, but through this conversation, I found that I had never seriously considered it. From that day on, he began to seriously think about the job of executive coach and eventually became an executive coach respected by executives.
Different problems make different worlds visible. We say that high-quality questions will bring people discovery. In order to let people know how to make new discoveries by asking questions, Ichiro Su Jinguang listed a very famous experiment, from which we can see that people will have different effects when asking different questions.
Search YouTube for "selective attention test", which is a video of men and women playing basketball for about 2 minutes. At the beginning of the video, I asked, "Count how many times people in white always pass the ball." In the second half of the video, I published an answer that * * * passed 15 times. This video can also be found in China.
How's it going? Not difficult. 1999, and then quickly spread all over the world. Some people may already know this test, and some people may not know it. Let me introduce this test again. In the video, two teams wearing black and white jerseys are playing basketball. These people walked around while passing the ball.
At the end of the video, it will show that the person wearing white * * * has patted the ball 15 times, but then it will show a question, "But have you seen the chimpanzee?"
The experimental results show that many people didn't notice this chimpanzee at all when watching the video. In fact, not long after the video started, a man dressed as a chimpanzee doll walked into the camera from the right, posed and left.
Later, professors from Harvard University and the University of Illinois jointly reproduced this experiment. Through experiments, they found that even if the subjects and places changed, 50% people still didn't notice chimpanzees at all. The two professors said that this is not a problem of vision, but when one's attention is focused on a part of the world visible to the naked eye, it is easy to ignore things that are not in this category, even if it is still very eye-catching, which is called "blindness".
In the same experiment, if the question is changed to "How many people pass the ball?" "How many people didn't pass the ball?" "How many men and women pass the ball?" When the object of attention changed from a simple white person to a full audience, the experimental results changed greatly. In his coaching class, Sujin Koichiro randomly asked nine people one of the above three questions, and everyone found chimpanzees without exception.
It can be seen that human consciousness can be controlled by asking questions. Once the topic changes, the visible things change, and the actions change accordingly. The so-called new discovery by asking questions also means this.
Why can asking questions attract people deeply? In fact, the human brain is functionally fond of accepting questions, which leads to thinking. It can be said that people are born with questions and answers.
Koichiro Su quoted an experiment by Robert Moeller, an American psychologist and clinical psychologist, in his book One Small Step to Change Your Life: The Way to Improve.
If you ask your colleagues for days on end, "Do you remember the color of the car parked next to your car?" Most people don't remember, it doesn't matter, but you ask this question every day, and by the fourth and fifth days, the number of people who can remember the color of the car next to their car has greatly increased.
Moeller said that the experiment explained "the function of the hippocampus of the brain". Hippocampus is an important organ in the brain to manage memory. It decides what information to remember and when to retrieve it. Repeated questioning will prompt the hippocampus to recognize the corresponding information as "important", so pay special attention.
If the above question is changed to "Please tell the color of the car parked next to your car!" "What will be the result? Faced with such oppressive orders, your colleagues are likely to be very bored and answer, "Why should I remember such a thing? "Dislike, instead of answering your questions, the relationship between colleagues may deteriorate.
Asking questions is more effective than ordering, which is helpful for creativity and countermeasures. "One of the most effective ways to program your brain is to ask small questions," Moeller said. "Asking questions can activate the brain and please the brain. The brain likes to receive questions and then think carefully, no matter whether the questions are stupid or smart. "
Children also like to play quiz games. When they see something they don't know, they like to ask, "What is this?" "What's that?" Then accept the adult's answer, so as to realize language learning.
Asking questions can also establish corporate culture and atmosphere. The power to ask questions can not only involve individuals, but also have a great influence on enterprises, but the influence is sometimes good and sometimes bad, depending on how the questioner asks questions. If company leaders blindly ask negative questions, employee morale will inevitably be suppressed; And quality problems will make enterprises move in a positive direction.
The culture and ethos of an enterprise can also be expressed in internal questions and answers. Common problems in organizations can reflect the essence of changing enterprises. If the boss keeps asking, "How's sales?" Then the company will develop an atmosphere of resale; If executives keep asking, "Are customers satisfied?" Then the company will form a customer-oriented atmosphere. Different industries have different ways and contents of asking questions. If you want to change the corporate atmosphere, changing the problem will be a simple and effective way.
We have always said that high-quality questions will naturally have questions that do not belong to the category of "high-quality questions". There are many kinds of problems. In Learning to Ask Questions, Ichiro Su Jinguang divides all kinds of questions into four types: easy questions, inferior questions, heavy questions and high-quality questions.
In the picture, the vertical axis indicates "the degree of willingness to answer". The higher you are, the more willing you are to answer, the more willing you are to think and the happier you are. The horizontal axis represents the existence and size of the "discovery" related to the purpose obtained by asking questions. The farther to the right, the more it means that the interviewee has made a discovery that he has never considered, and it may lead to a major discovery.
The book Learn to Ask Questions teaches you the skills of "asking high-quality questions", but in daily life, we often ask three other questions unintentionally. It doesn't hurt to ask questions easily, but it will be embarrassing to throw poor or heavy questions.
Sometimes it may be a simple question for A, but it is a low-level question for B. Once, a colleague casually asked, "What grade is your child?" As a result, the financial manager said with a black line on his face, "I'm not married ...". The problem itself is neither good nor bad. When the relationship is familiar and you know that the other person has children, it will be an easy problem, but here it is a subordinate problem.
Therefore, it is not the questioner but the interviewee who decides which of these four types of questions the question belongs to. What are the characteristics of these four types of problems? Let's talk about it one by one:
Asking questions easily can improve the relationship with each other. The most obvious feature is that the interviewee can answer easily. A problem, if the starting point is to improve the relationship, but the result is counterproductive, then this problem is definitely not an easy problem, just like the above example. Deliberately using simple questions can build strong interpersonal relationships, collect the information you want, and lay the foundation for asking high-quality questions. It is impossible to ask questions smoothly without establishing a good relationship first.
What questions might be easy to ask? For example, some convenient information of the other person, such as what he learned in school, what experience he accumulated in the workplace, what ideas he formed based on what experience, and so on. Generally speaking, it is easy to ask about successful experiences. Successful experience fully conforms to the three characteristics of easy-to-ask-easy answer, willingness to answer and habit to answer. Another purpose of asking about past successful experiences is to understand the words that the other person is willing to use, and these words often reflect personal preferences and values.
The problem of inferiority, just the opposite of a relaxed problem, will not improve the relationship, and may even worsen the relationship, and the other party will not find anything from your problem. Some questions, although the other party is unwilling to answer, have actually touched the heart and caused thinking. Then this problem is not inferiority, but heaviness.
The reason why people feel inferior is that they don't consider the relationship with each other at first. Don't ask people who don't have a good relationship, "Aren't you getting married?" "Why not have a second child?" This question is too personal.
Another point that needs special attention is whether the formula is easy to cause poor problems. Perhaps the questioner's intention is not bad, but negation itself conveys a negative message. Most of the inferior questions are harmless and need special attention. "Aren't you getting married?" "Don't you have a second child?" "Didn't you finish your homework?" "Why are you still in that company?" The information behind these questions is actually a denial of your current state. If it is changed to "Do you have any plans to get married?" "Have you finished your homework?" "Are you going to have a second child?" "Have you finished your homework?" It will make it easier for respondents to answer.
Re-questioning is a question that the interviewee is unwilling to answer, but will think, find and even trigger action. Although the interviewee is unwilling to answer, he may be angry, but he knows that the questioner is helping him achieve his goal. This type of question is an indispensable type in our progress, but it needs to be used with caution.
High-quality questions have the same characteristics as easy questions that make the other person happy to answer, and they also have the same ability as heavy questions that make people think and touch. Like the other three questions, there is no good question for everyone.
Quality problems dig deep into what people really want. In English, it means "wanting" themselves, not "having to". As long as people find what they really want to do, they will start thinking and put it into action. Generally speaking, high-quality questions should be open-ended. Closed questions have the meaning of instructions and orders, while open questions are more likely to lead to thinking.
And if you keep asking closed questions, it's easy to make the other person feel "I don't trust you". For example, we said earlier, "Haven't you finished your homework yet?" Change it to "Did you do your homework?" It will make it easier for children to answer, but it still contains such doubtful information as "homework has not been finished". If you change the question to an open-ended "How long will it take to finish today's homework?" Such questions will subconsciously make children conceive specific actions that need to be taken to complete their homework.
Having said so much, how can we ask a quality question? The first and most important step is listening. We sincerely care about the object being questioned and listen sincerely, which is "active listening". Listen carefully to each other's words, pay attention to the implication at the same time, and provide feedback to each other, so as to deepen the discovery.
Su Jin Koichiro said that when he was in the executive coaching class, he would try his best to listen to each other's implication. Such as speech speed, intonation, posture, expression, volume, etc. When the other person answers questions, sometimes this information can better reflect the other person's actual mood than a single language. If there are many wrinkles on the other person's trousers and shirt, it means that the other person may be depressed and even have no time to take care of his appearance.
According to his own experience, Ichiro Su Jinguang told us that when asking one-on-one questions, the best posture is to sit diagonally opposite to the other person's left or right side, with the distance across the table about 1 m and the body facing the other person.
In Letter from Silicon Valley, Mr. Wu Jun used a camera-like program to describe the trio hosted by Tao, saying that this talk show, which has been done for nearly 20 years, is very easy to record. Two guests are invited at random in each issue, and the guests hardly need to prepare the manuscript in advance or make up the lens. A 30-minute program can usually be recorded in 40 minutes. Is a camera-like program that everyone can use, and the operation interface is simple and good.
In fact, behind this relaxation, we can see the skills of the host Tao. The guest doesn't have to prepare in advance, but he will prepare in advance. Recording on-site guests digress, will not be forcibly pulled back, but follow the trend and ask questions on the spot. Sometimes it is this trend that can lead to more random thinking and discovery, so his audience is also very wide, at all ages.
Su Jin Koihiro said that when he was an executive coach, the principle was to ask questions without making suggestions. Ask questions, arouse each other's thinking, and turn discovery into an internalized ability. Compared with suggestions, the answers found after deep thinking are easier to impress people and become an ability. It is better to teach people to fish than to teach them to fish. Compared with good advice, high-quality questions are more likely to become life-long wealth.
Of course, we don't want to completely reject this proposal. On many occasions, the advice is still simple and effective. For example, teach new employees how to get into the state quickly and teach children how to take care of themselves. If you just want to temporarily train employees who obey orders, the suggestion is more timely. But if you want to cultivate employees or partners who can surpass you, it is best to ask questions instead of giving answers directly. The same is true of education. It is more meaningful to let children go further than themselves, ask questions, let children think for themselves and find answers by themselves than to give suggestions and answers directly.
In addition, some heavy questions can also become "high-quality questions" if they are changed in another way. For example, a subordinate angered the other party in a conversation with a customer. If you use "how do you annoy each other?" I believe we often hear similar questions in our daily work, "How did you screw things up again?" When we hear it, we will inevitably have a negative color of blaming ourselves or our customers.
"Because I'm not considerate ..."
"Because the customer is unreasonable ..."
"Because I don't like each other ..."
The reason for this problem is that the question itself is only asking the reason for the failure. If it is changed to "How to communicate smoothly?" "What do you think you can do to ensure smooth progress when you visit customers next time?" ..... rather than simply questioning failure, it can make the interviewee think about the reasons for failure, answer questions with a positive attitude and pay attention to the future.
We introduced a lot of tips for asking questions and how to turn light and heavy questions into good ones. Now it is not difficult to go further and introduce how to create your own problems. Let's do a little exercise first. Take about ten minutes to ask yourself what questions you will ask yourself in order to further improve (work or personal life), and list 20 questions you want to ask yourself.
The same topic, I believe that the questions given by the interviewee will be different. Why? Maybe you will say that the questions you want to ask are of course different, because your personality, work environment and life experience are different. Su Jin Koichiro said that in his view, from a more essential level, the reason is that everyone wants different things, values and common words, so asking questions is different. When creating high-quality problems, we should focus on these aspects.
Some problems have been wandering in each other's hearts, but they have been ignored like blind spots. People who create high-quality problems can help each other find blind spots. So how can we find the blind spots that the other party has internalized but never considered? Su Jin Koichiro summed up the "3V principle".
Vision: Ideal is the state that a person yearns for and hopes to achieve, and he really wants to try.
Value: value, the value that a person values when judging things.
Lexicality: vocabulary (common language), the ideals and values of the other party will eventually be expressed in words, so it is often used and should be paid attention to.
When we collect enough keywords according to the 3V principle, we can start to create specific problems. The basic method of doing the problem is actually the general question form of English 5w1h.
Why: the reason
Time: time
Location: location
Who: personnel
What: object
How to: Method
Through the combination of interrogative words and words, combined with 3V keywords, questions are generated. You can also use more than two 3V keywords to create new combinations.
How to ask yourself quality questions? I talked a lot about how to ask high-quality questions to others. Of course, we can also throw high-quality questions at ourselves and let ourselves meet ourselves better. Now let's talk about how to throw quality problems at ourselves.
1. Finding your own 3V is the same as asking others questions. The basic order of asking yourself questions is to analyze your 3V-ideals, values and vocabulary, find out the key words, and then combine them with interrogative words. Most people don't have the habit of analyzing their own language, but they can ask their family and friends about their pet words and their impressions in their eyes, and even record their conversations and then analyze them.
2. Take time to ask yourself, and consciously take time to think and ask questions when you are alone. Many of us are so busy with our daily work and life that we can't spare time to think about such things as "Are you satisfied with yourself now?" . But if you can't ask yourself good questions because of trivial things, then your life will be hard to change. No matter how busy you are, use the subway or 5 minutes before going to bed and think about what you really want to do. As long as you form this habit, your actions will change.
3. Ask yourself regularly. Just as we need regular physical examination to ensure our health, it is equally effective to ask questions regularly to ensure that we move in the direction we want. Especially when our life changes, ask "Is this what I want?"
In fact, high-quality questions are not only applicable to the workplace, but also to daily life and children's education. Earlier, I also gave an example of asking a child if he had finished his homework. When we change the way we ask questions, children will take the initiative to think with goals as the guide.
For another example, for example, parents ask children who can't do math homework, "Why can't they even do such a simple problem?" Parents use the form of "how", and the information the child receives is reprimand. The child may think, "I can't even do such a simple problem. I am really a loser. " This leads to a low sense of self-affirmation.
If parents ask, "Where do you think we should start to solve this problem?" "How about drawing this arithmetic problem?" When we ask this question repeatedly, these questions will take root and sprout in children's hearts like "seeds", gradually internalize and eventually germinate naturally.
The whole book was written by Su Jin Koichiro in combination with his own practical experience, and many examples of questioning were listed in the book. Some of us have asked others, and we will know whether it is good or bad after reading it. There are indeed many problems that are easier to correct. The brochure with less than 200 pages is simple in language, readable and practical, and is recommended by five stars.
Different questions lead to different thinking, and high-quality questions have the power to change life. Are you ready to think? "What on earth do you want to do?"