Genesis: People should leave their parents and contact their wives.
Genesis: You are the bone of my bones and the flesh of my flesh.
Even if life ends, love will last forever. Throughout the ages, when has the power of love been underestimated by us? Until today, our longing for love is still passed down in different versions and various deductive ways.
What mysterious power can make us infatuated with a person's arms, and what can keep us away from a person's arms?
According to the statistical survey, people choose partners who are similar to them in many aspects, but sometimes they choose partners who can complement them. For example, people who are used to taking the initiative will find passive people, while extroverts are also willing to find introverts. Balancing psychological complementarity and similar social background is an important cornerstone of happy love and harmonious marriage. Any love is mutual, without complete rights and absolute obligations. There is a saying that is in place: "We are all angels with one wing, and only by combining can we fly."
So why can't some combinations fly? I am afraid it is also because of some mentality in marriage. Teacher Yu Fan of Anhui Aiqiao Marriage Center summed up the following six points for your reference, and we also need to be cautious-
1, the mentality of expecting too much from marriage:
From love to marriage, we have been "deceiving" ourselves with our own fantasies. This kind of deception is often unconscious, blind and transcends time and space. We can equate passionate love with passionate marriage, which is an illusion. Because of the impact of passion and the packaging of sweet words, I have high expectations for married life, and a beautiful marriage in fantasy has replaced the marriage in reality. The story of Snow White and the Prince has evolved into the embodiment of "high standards" and "strict requirements" in marriage life, which is a kind of outer packaging artificially attached to marriage by ourselves, that is, our high expectation mentality for marriage. When this beautiful fantasy and artificial packaging are replaced by the triviality of married life, with the unsatisfied needs after marriage, disappointment and despair will come to us like a "dark cloud", accompanied by a feeling of being cheated. In fact, it's not that person who cheated you, but your high expectations for marriage.
2, too self-esteem and sensitive mentality:
In marriage, moderate self-esteem and sensitivity is a good attitude, but excessive self-esteem and sensitivity will push your's marriage to the wall. Strictly follow the instructions before marriage, be corrupt in order after marriage, be diligent and procrastinate, and the contrast between before marriage and after marriage pushes our self-esteem onto a narrow road. One of the spouses will think that the spouse is belittling and disrespecting himself. In order to defend their dignity, they are too "self-respecting" and very sensitive to each other's words and deeds, especially if they say something unintentionally or unintentionally, they will be "mean" for a long time. To put it mildly, this mentality is called overspending; Nervous, to put it mildly. If desensitization is not timely, in the long run, it will only accelerate the rebellious psychology and psychological heaviness of the other party.
3. The mentality of shirking responsibility:
Life is bound to have storms, and marriage is bound to have difficulties and setbacks. When the storm strikes, what is most needed is a sense of responsibility and help each other in the same boat, rather than blaming each other, shirking and prevaricating. Choose a person, choose a marriage and choose a life, all of which are your own decisions. Since it is your choice, you must have the courage to face everything, to assume, shirk and evade responsibility. Only complaining can promote and aggravate the disintegration of feelings between two people.
4. The mentality of expecting returns:
Some couples' marriages are like a big saw. As much as I have paid for you, you have to repay me. I'm good to you, and you have to be good to me, otherwise the big saw won't move. If one party doesn't do well enough and doesn't love enough, the disappointment, troubles and unhappiness of the other party will come as scheduled, and all the happiness in the past will be easily ignored, and the troubles and unhappiness will not be so easily lingering. Once this kind of emotion penetrates into marriage life, it will easily lead to one party's mentality out of control, psychological imbalance and emotional deviation, which is likely to lead to marriage deviation.
5, disrespectful mentality:
After being married for a long time, you will feel that the other person is already your own person, and you will not care what you say or do. From the way you speak to the handling of family affairs, you will be very casual and rarely take into account each other's feelings and attitudes. In fact, in a family, respect is the basis of love and harmonious coexistence between husband and wife. A lot of unhappiness when couples get along is because one party doesn't respect the other, which leads to a big fight between husband and wife. What's more, in order to fight for breath, lovers began a lasting psychological contest, and the Cold War became a frequent visitor to devour love. Once love is shrouded in such a bad atmosphere, how can the warmth between husband and wife last long?
6, intolerant mentality:
In a family, whether it can be done is relative, not absolute. Many things are done by people who can't do it, and only in the process of doing it will there be a qualitative change of not having a meeting. Therefore, everything a husband and wife do should not be forced and blamed as much as possible, and should not be picky. However, many couples just don't understand this. If they don't agree with their wishes, they will blame each other. After a long time, the defendant will not feel that he is not doing well, but will have the psychology to fight back. Because of long-term depression and dissatisfaction, the relationship between husband and wife will inevitably turn from hot to cold, and if the depressed emotions are not released in time, the depression and dissatisfaction between each other will erupt at any time.
Yes, people, I love you, but you should be alert! -Fu Qike.