Love is a feeling, and marriage is a responsibility. When you are in love, ups and downs are always experienced by two people, but marriage is different. Ups and downs are always experienced by two families.
Nowadays, many young people are afraid of getting married. The so-called fear of marriage is not that I don't believe that my other half can give me the sense of belonging and security I want, but that I am worried that I am unable to cope with the "connections" after marriage.
For example, the relationship between husband and wife, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the relationship between sister-in-law ... In the eyes of most people, a family should be dominated by men and women, and whether these relationships are harmonious or not is naturally what women have to do, and has nothing to do with men.
Therefore, many times men just stand aside, and sometimes they even favor their family members. This "indifferent" attitude of men can easily cause women's chills, which in turn leads to disappointment in marriage.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are always two curves that intersect repeatedly. Although they want to be parallel, life still makes them intersect, stay away, intersect again, stay away, and so on.
02
Just one year after joining the work, He met his life partner. He is a college student and comes from the countryside like He.
After being in love for a year and a half, Pan Pan's boyfriend took the initiative to talk about marriage with her, and put marriage on the agenda so early, which stems from the selfishness of her boyfriend and mother: the house in her hometown will be demolished in a few years, and the demolition funds will be distributed according to each population. How many can she get married early?
During this time, Pan Pan felt his love for her from her boyfriend. She also believed that their life would be very happy after marriage, so she agreed to her boyfriend's proposal.
Although Pan Pan agreed, her parents had no problem with her boyfriend, but she was worried that Pan Pan's husband's family was too far away from her family. If something happens, she can't get there immediately, so I suggest that she think about it.
But at that time, Pan Pan, who was in love at that time, still had the mind to think about whether she should marry far away. His parents simply don't listen. He just wants to marry his boyfriend as soon as possible and start their married life.
When parents don't care about their children, they hope their children can live well and pursue their own happiness. Pan Pan was the youngest in the family, and his parents doted on him, so he stopped persuading and agreed to this marriage.
Fortunately, Pan Pan's husband understood her parents-in-law's concerns. After marriage, he was obedient to Pan Pan, rarely quarreled with her, and rarely lost his temper with her.
Therefore, after marriage, I hope I don't have the "mind" like a girl who is far away from marriage. Her husband's kindness to her relieved her from missing her family.
Although Pan Pan doesn't care much about his parents, no matter how old his children are, they will always be children who need to be cared for and nagged. Usually, parents will take the initiative to call Pan Pan.
03
It is said that everyone's marriage life will never be a calm sea, and life will always ripple. The size of the ripple depends on what life has given you.
I thought I could be so happy all the time, but I didn't know that my life was only a little over a year, just because my mother-in-law appeared and disappeared.
In fact, when I got married, my in-laws also promised Pan Pan that they would not live with them after marriage, but after all, people can't live together. Pan Pan's father-in-law died in a car accident. Pan Pan was afraid that her mother-in-law would live alone, so she took the initiative to take her over and live together.
Originally out of kindness, I didn't expect my kindness to ruin my marriage.
Before her mother-in-law came, Pan Pan and her husband ate at home at night, or even ate out directly at night. Pan Pan's husband loves her dearly, so Pan Pan seldom goes into the kitchen these days after marriage. She was spoiled by her parents at home. For a long time, Pan Pan couldn't cook at all.
My mother-in-law has just arrived, and she has always had a thought in her heart. Pan Pan was embarrassed to order takeout, so she had to ask her husband to do it together. Although three heads are better than Zhuge, neither can do it. It is conceivable that my mother-in-law had a particularly uncomfortable meal.
After dinner, Pan Pan's mother-in-law kept saying that she was the head of the family. How could she not even cook? What if someone else comes home?
Pan Pan didn't know how to respond to her mother-in-law's criticism. What annoys Pan Pan even more is that her husband is sitting there watching TV happily and doesn't want to do it himself at all.
Finally, at the weekend, I wanted to sleep in, but my mother-in-law asked me to go shopping with her, leaving my son to sleep there alone.
When she came back from shopping, she was asked to do this and that. When the food was ready, she called her son. All the dishes she cooks are her son's favorite, regardless of the feeling of longing.
Originally, Pan Pan could understand her mother-in-law's love for her husband, who was so kind to herself that she didn't care about her mother-in-law's "dislike" at all, but then something happened, which made Pan Pan directly fall out with her mother-in-law.
The disappointments in feelings are piled up bit by bit. Once it exceeds the tolerance of the heart, it will erupt. My mother-in-law is "eccentric" to herself once or twice, but she can't stand it many times. After complaining to her husband was useless, Pan Pan complained to her parents on the phone.
Daughter's personality, when parents' nature is clearer than anyone, Pan Pan's mother forgot to travel long distances and went to her daughter's house directly by car.
Seeing his mother coming from afar, Pan Pan was naturally a gourmet waiter, and specially bought three catties of pork. This is a normal thing, but things have changed because Pan Pan's husband worked overtime that weekend.
"What are you in such a hurry to eat? My son hasn't come back yet. I can't wait. It's a real spender. I've been here for so long, and I haven't seen you take the initiative to buy me a few pounds of pork. Why is your mother so generous when she comes? "
In the kitchen, Pan Pan didn't know what to do with her mother-in-law's words, so she just smiled and pretended not to hear.
When Pan Pan's husband came back, the food was already cold. After dinner, he didn't talk to his mother much, so he hurried his mother to catch the bus.
I didn't want to say more about it. I don't know. My mother-in-law has been talking about buying pork for a week. The more she talks, the worse it gets. Pan Pan mentioned this matter to her husband more than once, but her husband was indifferent every time.
"You are too lazy to say this every day. It won't be like this if you don't buy pork for your mother. I want to say that you deserve it. Look, my mother is here. Did I buy her something? "
Pan Pan complained to her husband again and again, which finally made him lose patience. He is in a bad mood. Now her husband is standing with her mother-in-law. The indifferent Pan Pan told her husband: Let's get a divorce!
04
Marriage is like a mixture of spices, with all kinds of ups and downs. Two people in marriage should not only manage the relationship between husband and wife, but also manage other relationships in marriage together.
Emotional tutor Huang Han defined the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in If You Are the One: the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is respect.
The relationship between two women is maintained by the same man, and the intersection between them is more because of this man. Emotional harmony is bound to be less solid, and a little carelessness may lead to the collapse of the relationship.
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is like a war without smoke. The contradiction between two people is also a trivial matter, but with the superposition of time, it brings the indifference between husband and wife.
Why did Pan Pan finally say divorce? It's not that there is something wrong with her relationship with her husband, but that her mother-in-law makes things difficult and her husband doesn't care, which makes her more insecure and more likely to break her heart.
So, what I want to say is a man, don't always think that marrying a woman is enough, you should handle other things in marriage with her and give her understanding and companionship.
You know, there is no contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If it weren't for you, they would even be strangers in the vast sea of people. Because of you, they have friction. In this case, you should play the role of a middleman and try to coordinate the relationship between them.
Of course, there should be more empathy between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law Mother-in-law should understand the difficulties of daughter-in-law and respect their lifestyle and habits. Daughter-in-law should also understand her mother-in-law's difficulties and be more tolerant of her mother-in-law's nagging. Family and everything, marriage can always be happy!