Many people think that eloquent people are good at communication. In fact, people who are good at listening are really good at communication. This is because, when you have a sharp edge, you talk too much, or you talk too glibly, otherwise you will lose a lot, and disaster will come from your mouth ... But low-key listening is far from these shortcomings, but it has many advantages: paying attention to listening gives people the impression of modesty, concentration, stability, honesty and reliability; Listening carefully can reduce immature comments and avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.
Many studies show that there are also a lot of facts to prove that the failure of interpersonal communication is often not what you said wrong or what you should say, but because you listened too little or didn't pay attention. For example, before someone else's words are finished, you forcibly interrupt and say something irrelevant and irrelevant; You can't wait to express your views and opinions before others can hear you clearly; The other person is talking to you in high spirits, but you are wandering and squinting. Who wants to associate with such a person? Who really likes to be friends with such people?
Second, listen actively, showing a respectful but not perfunctory attitude.
Generally speaking, there are two forms of listening, namely active listening and passive listening. The so-called active listening is to respond closely to the speaker in the conversation and show a respectful but not perfunctory attitude, for example, to express understanding or doubt, support or opposition, happiness or sadness. Passive listening means that in a certain conversation, the listener is in a relatively relaxed state, that is, in a casual state to receive information. For example, gossip at home, informal conversations and so on. 、
Active listening has feedback on both spoken information and silent language information, such as expression and posture. However, being beautiful often has no obvious posture feedback and expression feedback.
How to actively listen? You can refer to these suggestions: avoid "desertion" and concentrate on listening; Overcome preconceptions; Don't grab words because you despise each other, and don't give up listening because you are eager to refute; Don't delay listening in order to be eager to judge the problem; Don't turn a deaf ear to problems you can't handle.
Third, learn to analyze and listen to each other's implication.
A clever listener can not only satisfy the superficial listening and understanding, but also listen to the words in the speaker's speech, infer the implied information from his language situation and body movements, and grasp the speaker's real intention. Only in this way can we achieve real communication.
What you said about passive listening is just the opposite of what I described above, so you can understand what kind of state and performance this is.