The child is two years old and eight months old.
About one year old, he said a few words for a while, and then said nothing. When he was one year and three months old, his neighbors and sisters who were half a month younger than him had already expressed it. Of course, this doesn't mean anything. After two and a half years old, when others laughed and said that they wanted their children to shut up, how I expected that day to come early.
When people ask me, I always smile and answer, "The child is not ready." I am calm on the surface and under great pressure inside. Yes, I am a stay-at-home mom.
He belongs to the kind of person who knows everything but doesn't say anything. He is good at snapping his fingers. You can see at a glance that there are less than six balls on the table. He is so persistent about what he likes that he can play for a long time every time.
I was deeply anxious, and even once doubted whether he was autistic, but his appearance, his usual performance, and the information I checked, I couldn't relate him to autism.
Others advised me to take him to the hospital to have his tongue checked or his health checked. I knew it was a good intention, but I refused. I am looking forward to the children talking, but I know better what it means to go to the hospital. I prefer to believe that my children are normal.
When I read Thomas Sowell's short story "Children who talk late are also smart", the children have already started kindergarten. Although he loves to talk very much now, he is really anxious and suffering when he recalls the days before he spoke.
I want to know about it.
2、
Children who talk late are also smart. It's a book about extremely clever children who talk late. The writer is a senior researcher at the Hoover Institution of Stanford University. At the same time, the author's children began to speak when they were almost 4 years old.
Stephen Camarata, a speech pathologist who did the same research as the author, could not speak when he was three and a half years old. He is also the father of a child who speaks late.
This book tells us through a large number of cases that children who talk late are not alone, but we don't know who else's children are late. In the families of many senior intellectuals, this situation will also exist, but the delay will not hinder their future Excellence.
Of course, not all children who talk late are like the children studied in this book, and illusory hopes will bring inevitable disappointment. (original words in the book)
Thomas sauville's research object is 46 late-talkers from 44 families, including 43 in family of origin. Professor Camarata's research object is 239 late-talking children from 235 families, including 232 children from families. The proportion of boys speaking late is over 80%.
Divide the subjects into two groups: one group is a child who can't speak and can't understand what others say; The other group is children, who can clearly understand what others are saying, but just don't speak. The latter is more likely to develop normally.
The late speaker mentioned in the book:
Public role
Einstein (3 years old)
"Father of the Hydrogen Bomb" edward tylor (almost 4 years old)
Physicist richard feynman (two years old)
Gary becker, winner of the Nobel Prize in Economics.
/kloc-clara schumann (4 years old), a pianist in the 20th century.
Artur rubinstein, the 20th century pianist.
Talk show hosts Gordon Li Di and Bailey Farber.
Economist walt williams.
ordinary people
Richard (3 years old)
Girl Leslie (two years old)
Boy Ricky
There are also the author's son, the author's college roommate, the author's old friend for decades, some people the author met in the process of publishing the book, and some people around him who are doing this research. They are all latecomers.
After Einstein spoke, he was worried by his primary school teacher that "he was worried that he was a mentally retarded child at first" and that "he turned a blind eye to what he was not interested in and didn't want to learn at all, but once something aroused his interest, he would devote himself wholeheartedly like a watchmaker."
When his father ran to school and asked little Einstein what kind of career he could be in the future, the headmaster said, "Don't worry, he will never succeed."
After he learned to speak, he also stumbled. By the age of 9, his oral expression was not fluent. People also use a word to describe those who are smart but slow to speak, and that is "Einstein syndrome".
John, the author's son, had a first-class lock-picking skill and a super good memory when he was a child. His speech was confined to "words". When he took little John to see a medical expert, no one could give effective advice until he met another professor.
After listening to his account, the professor said a paragraph:
So, he stopped trying to teach children to talk and just increased the time to play together. A few months later, the child said the first sentence, which was 3 years and 9 months.
Characteristics of children who talk late:
Some people can't understand what they are saying, only close people can understand; Some of them are said as soon as they are said, which is very clear.
Excellent in the field of logic, sensitive to music and mathematics, strong analytical and memory skills, good at puzzles, not doing things as required, and studying late in the toilet. I was rarely focused on what I was interested in, and I had a bad temper when I was a child.
If you put my children on this, some of them are still waiting in line. For example, children are sensitive to numbers, like Tetris, like music and dance, have a good memory and have their own ideas.
There are many cases of language delay from different classes in the book, and we may be relieved. According to the research data of the author and Professor Camarata, language delay may be just language delay.
It should be noted that even though there are a large number of cases to prove that some people seem to have made great achievements in adulthood, there is still a small probability of being diagnosed with autism.
3、
Why do these children talk late?
I rummaged through the whole book and couldn't find any chapter with a very clear standard answer. It is related to brain development, and the congenital cause is greater than the acquired environment.
For example, after Einstein's brain was dissected, it was found that his brain was as big as ordinary people, but part of the left hemisphere was twice as big as normal people.
When the brain develops enough processing power, language seems to develop. Stephen pink
In my vernacular, I understand that a certain part of the brain is robbing resources for the needs of development. Therefore, there is no fixed time for children to talk, just like some children start walking at the age of one and some children start walking at the age of one and a half.
They are developing in their own unique way, in all aspects.
We can't blindly believe that noble people speak late, let alone put this view on every child who speaks late, because there will still be a small probability.
As the closest parents of children, if they are worried about the reasons for their language delay, it is recommended to go to a regular big hospital for an examination, but the premise is that it is best to check their own reasons and their living environment.
Combined with my own parenting experience, I think that children's language delay is related to the parenting environment. For example, there are not enough playmates in a single growth environment, people in the parenting environment are silent, couples have bad feelings, and there is not much communication. Children are handed over to electronic devices. Therefore, children's language development is naturally poor without more diversified stimuli.
Of course, this is contrary to the view in the book.
According to this book, clara schumann, a pianist in the19th century, could not speak until he was 4 years old. She said it might have nothing to do with what the maid who took care of her said. However, the author compares the children who speak slowly with the children studied by Professor Camarata. She has many similar characteristics, so we can't attribute all the reasons to the maid.
4、
How should parents get along with such children and should they get involved early?
I often see such cases on the Internet. The child stopped talking when he was over two years old, and then took the child to the hospital for examination. As a result, nothing happened.
Even so, I believe parents may not be at ease, because children are over two years old, and even children of the same age are younger than TA. Coupled with the pressure from people around you, anxiety is inevitable.
There is a particularly good sentence in the book:
If you have no bottom in your heart, you can't comfort yourself blindly. You can still take your child to a regular big hospital, because not every child who talks at night is Einstein syndrome.
At the same time, children are also very sensitive. Although he can't speak, his parents' actions will make him feel that he has a problem. Therefore, before you decide to take your child to the hospital, you should consider what you should say to your child.
Special reminder, before checking your child's language, it is recommended that your child have a physical examination to find out other reasons.
Regarding the advantages and disadvantages of early intervention, there is such a passage in the book that I particularly feel the same way:
A mother used "despair" to describe her feelings on the Internet because she had a 5-year-old son who could not speak. Every time after attending language therapy, her mother would shout "talk, talk, dumb".
There is no doubt that the mother is heartbroken. I was angry for a while before the child spoke, but based on my judgment, I told myself to wait a little longer, and then I slowly let it go.
There are many similar cases in the book. Some children who speak slowly are treated as sick, and the results are getting worse and worse. Some speech therapy will drive people crazy, some parents will relax and stop treatment, and the children will speak slowly.
In the face of children's silence, we should distinguish between "incompetence" and "unwillingness to do". Don't confuse the two and treat normal children as diseases.
Looking back carefully, we often have this situation. Sometimes, the child will take the initiative to do something, but sometimes, even if he does, he will not do it, and the more he urges, the slower he will be.
If the child is fine, don't make him feel like a problem children from what we say and do. At any time, denying children can't play a positive role.
If the child is fine, all we can do is relax and let nature take its course. As the mother of a slow-talking child, I know the wait is long.
But at the same time, we should not label our children as "dumb", "stupid" and "deaf". Although we sometimes feel sad, please believe that he is the best baby in the world.
For those children who can understand others and talk late, they are late bloomers, and one day, they will bloom like other children who talk at normal time.