What if my long-lost son disowns me?

Judging from what you said, your eldest son was not with you when he was over three years old, and his father didn't take care of him very much. He lost contact when he went abroad at the age of six, and then he lived with his grandmother, uncle and aunt. Because you didn't elaborate on the relationship between children and grandmothers, uncles and aunts, you don't know much about other aspects of children, such as personality characteristics. I don't know what your child's attitude was when you first met him. It seems that he is willing to communicate with you, but he doesn't want to see you when he sees your other son. According to psychology, the life experience in childhood has a certain influence on the individual's cognitive, personality and social development. In the child's infancy, you and the child's father left his life one after another, leaving him with a stable, calm and safe family life atmosphere. Due to the lack of family, he may show sensitivity, inferiority and insecurity. In communication with peers, children's inner desire comes from their parents' care. Therefore, your sudden appearance may make him a little overwhelmed, but he has joy and expectation in his heart. When he learns that you have other children besides him, he will feel that his mother is not entirely his own, and he is worried that you may leave him again, just like when he was a child. At the same time, the child is currently in adolescence, and his unique psychological characteristics at this stage may deepen his negative understanding of the relationship between you and him. Therefore, you should not be too hasty in easing the relationship between mother and child, and try to make your child fully accept you in a short time. Teenagers' psychological activities are often in a contradictory state, and their psychological level is in a semi-mature and semi-naive state, thus showing various psychological conflicts and contradictions, such as the contradiction between psychological adult feeling and semi-mature status quo, the contradiction between psychological weaning and spiritual dependence, the contradiction between psychological atresia and openness, and the alternation of sense of accomplishment and frustration. Combining the general psychological characteristics of teenagers with the specific situation of your child, you can try to gain the trust of your child, establish a safe mother-child relationship, and eliminate the child's alert and unsafe psychology; On the basis of a good mother-child relationship, you can step into your child's life. In addition, for some unavoidable problems, such as the relationship between your current family and your eldest son, you need to fully consider both sides. We understand your concern and emotional expectation for your eldest son, but at the same time, you should also consider the attitudes and emotions of your current family members. Xi anruisi psychology consulting