This spring, she and her husband took their daughter who went to kindergarten and moved their family from a second-tier city on the southeast coast to a small county town to start a new life.
The work place is relatively remote. It takes an hour and a half to drive to the house I have bought in the second-tier city, and about half an hour to the small county where I live now.
Like many ordinary working families, the couple don't have much savings. When buying a house in a first-tier city or a second-tier city, considering the economic situation and work place, you can only buy a house in a remote place in a second-tier city.
"Before the house price soared a few years ago, we bought a house and wanted to settle in a second-tier city like everyone else, so that our children could study and live here in the future."
After her daughter was born, before she was old enough to go to kindergarten, Xiaohui and her husband rented a house next to the unit for several years, and basically only returned to the house they bought on weekends.
Although it takes a long time for the company to commute directly to the community it bought, it is acceptable for the couple to go back only on weekends.
It was not until last year that her daughter went to kindergarten, went to school in a kindergarten near the community and retired from renting a house that Xiaohui and her husband began a real devil commuting life.
"I go out at 6: 55 every morning to take the shuttle bus downstairs, arrive at the unit around 8: 30, and get off work at 4: 30 every afternoon, but there are more cars on the road at night, and it is usually more than 6 o'clock when I get home. If you can't catch the bus if you work overtime, you can't go home. "
"It is even harder to live without renting a house."
According to the couple's plan, the daughter moved back to the community when she went to kindergarten. There are kindergartens in the community and the teachers are not bad. Before they started commuting, their ideas were perfect.
Originally, I thought that the day when the commuting time became longer meant that I had more private time, and the longer I spent on the road meant that I had my own independent time. She can have plenty of time to read books, watch movies and even write.
But the reality is cruel.
She gets up at 6 o'clock every morning to catch the bus at 6: 30, and she is sleepy. Basically, she was half asleep all the way in the morning. When she gets up, she will take the time to catch up on sleep. It is impossible to read books and watch movies.
Although I am not sleepy after work, I dare not look at my mobile phone for a long time, because I will get carsick after a long trip, so I am basically patient all the way.
On balance, it is too hard to go home every day, and the children must be looked after by themselves, so I made the following decision.
"My husband and I can't have a special resignation at home. It costs money to pay for the mortgage and go to kindergarten ... We began to agree to go home on Monday and Wednesday, and go home on Tuesday and Thursday."
Xiaohui's husband is a technician and Xiaohui is a civilian, so it is often Xiaohui's husband who works overtime and often can't go back to take care of the children as agreed.
So in the past six months, Xiaohui has basically run on both sides.
Every day is a life against time, and the contradiction between husband and wife is rising, and they often start quarreling because of trivial matters.
"I admire two kinds of colleagues. One is to go home every day, especially those who buy a school district and live in the city center. Commuting time is nearly 4 hours every day. However, for the sake of children, they rain or shine.
One is busy with work every day and only goes home once or once a week. Children are basically taken care of by the elderly and the other half. "
At first, they also thought about letting an old man come and take care of their daughter, but finally they gave up.
Call the old people in the country. The old man has no friends in this city and can't speak Mandarin, so his life is not happy.
"We don't know if this is the life that children want. My daughter just said that I hope my parents can accompany me home every day. "
There is no doubt that big cities have good educational resources, medical resources and humanistic environment, and better interest classes are more conducive to children's growth.
"I may not be a good mother, and I will only live for my children for the rest of my life, so I can't stand such a three-hour commute in the future."
"I may not be a good wife. In order to leave a house for my husband, I teach my husband wholeheartedly and accept the life with my husband. " Xiaohui said so.
Most people stay in big cities in order to give their children a better education. Some people even think that the quality of teachers who stay in small counties is low, so are the parents of classmates, and so are the educated children.
After her daughter was born, Xiaohui and her husband also had a perfect plan, planning everything that her daughter had to learn from childhood to 18 years old.
However, in fact, many things are not decided by the couple, so this plan has changed again and again, constantly compromising life.
The contradiction now is that they are not sure what their children really need.
Is it accompanying love or academic success? Are you willing to be ordinary or prosperous?
What parents can give their children can only be what they think is best. And children may not think that the current experience is good.
For example, now Xiaohui's daughter can't understand why mom and dad can't always accompany her to dinner.
In such an uneasy mood, the little girl is more sensitive and sensible than other parents who often accompany her children, and she begins to worry a lot.
This is not what Xiaohui and his wife want their daughter to look like.
Innocent, unrestrained, occasionally coquetry, love to laugh at her daughter. This is my daughter who didn't attend kindergarten before.
Is the fate of children decided by big cities or warm families? This is a problem.
Xiaohui recalled that she and her husband also worked hard from a small county and began to think about whether the current small county is so comparable.
After only a week of careful investigation and thinking, Xiaohui and her husband rented out the house in the second-tier city and pooled their money to choose a 90-square-meter new house in the new city center of the small county.
There are kindergartens, primary schools, various remedial classes, playgrounds, supermarkets, restaurants, small parks, gyms, theaters, self-service library and even a Starbucks within one kilometer of Fiona Fang, but the cinema is a little far away.
The most important thing is to drive from home to work, which is half an hour slow and more than 20 minutes fast. Finally ended the life of a family gathering less and leaving more.
The children's future is unpredictable, but the daily companionship, the family can sit together for dinner every day, and the warmth of close dependence is really manageable. They don't want to miss the growth of their children.
"We don't want our children to expect their parents to go home today every day when they are very young."
For children of this age, the influence of parents' companionship and family education is higher than that of teachers and classmates.
Life is short, living in the present, and grasping the visible family warmth is also a way of life.
When I arrived at the new kindergarten, my daughter was happier, saying that the teachers here were gentler than those in big cities, and the students here were more fun than those in big cities.
In the eyes of many people, they think that Xiaohui and his wife are short-sighted and ignorant parents, without considering their children's future.
"I want to be my daughter's Li Huanying. I just hope that she can be safe and happy. "
They may not meet the standards of parents' evaluation. But in children's minds, they are absolutely perfect. You can ask her daughter.
Now it is 202 1, not all small counties are not so miserable. After all, peace, happiness and happiness can be found in small towns.
Finally, there is a question: as a parent, what will you give your child when you can't have both love and environment?
Pay attention to @ Xiaozongzi, and speak slowly in a fast-paced life.
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