Why do people like to argue right and wrong?

In family counseling, we often see some couples, even parents and children, arguing repeatedly about the right or wrong of a question. Even if we know that consultation is to solve problems, we will argue endlessly in the consultation room. Counselors will tell them that right and wrong are not important, and some standards are not important; But the visitor disagrees, insisting that the other party say right or wrong or argue with the other party. In fact, what is hidden under this hard struggle is a message about self-worth: "Do I matter? If I am important, you should do as I say. " The usual consequence of carrying out this idea is that we adjust our views and even revise ourselves to meet the requirements of the outside world. Because of the experience of fear and rejection, we began to close our hearts. For centuries, we human beings have gradually lost our happiness and vitality in the long-term repression and distortion. In our real life, too many people live in a state of separation of consciousness and body (we think we will not suffer). In this state, there is no real happiness, let alone vitality. In consultation, the consultant is in a position where he can see the whole picture. Therefore, counselors can cut into the whole consultation process as an external factor actively introduced to help visitors know themselves in a new way, that is, to discuss their attitudes and expectations for change. People tend to hold an attitude that they want another person to change and solve our own problems. The long-term hierarchical structure of society will think that this is an innate power struggle in the process of human evolution. People who hold this view will not discuss the problems they face, but care (and argue) about who is right or wrong, who is high or low, who is the winner and who is the loser-and who has the right to tell others what to do. For psychological counseling, self-improvement has nothing to do with good or bad, right or wrong. It just means reaching the destination-really living, and connecting and interacting with yourself and others in a consistent way.