It is not easy to grow up. After reading 1, the author of Growing Up is Lu Qin, a well-known "bosom sister". Reading this book is like chatting with "bosom sister" and listening to her talk about parenting experience. What I envy is that she can enter the children's world. The parenting wisdom accumulated by dealing with children for many years reveals a truth: excellent children come from the Excellence of their mothers.
I was moved by it. Lu Qin, my bosom sister, began to write when the child was still in the mother's womb, from the moment of delivery to one month, two months, half a year, one year, entering kindergarten, elementary school, junior high school, high school, university, falling in love, getting married, having children, and then facing the death of her closest relative. There are countless stories that make you cry. The main idea of the book is to tell us to respect children, respect humanity and be happy! Have a sunny attitude, don't be sad! Do your best to help the people around you, instead of standing by. There are many cases in the book that the author has experienced personally. The once frozen heart was dissolved by the sun, and the hatred for parents turned into understanding. Caring Without Borders, groups of middle school students from the United States and Europe came to the poorest places in China to help. These pampered foreigners shed tears in the face of the hard work of China students in poverty. There are many vivid stories in the book, as well as the stories of Zhou Zhou, celebrities at all times and all over the world, and so on. In the process of reading, countless tears blurred my eyes. The moment I closed the book, I couldn't calm down for a long time. I understand how much the mentality affects a person's life. However, to say the biggest experience is that I want to care for my parents and honor them with my own practical actions!
This is a book that all parents and children in the world should read! Every child is the treasure of parents, but what is good for children? It is not easy to learn from other people's experience scientifically, but we can still "live slowly" with our children and grow up happily together!
It is not easy to study when you grow up. During the summer vacation, I carefully read "It's not easy to grow up" by my intimate sister. It tells the story of a life from conception to the formation of a new family. I feel a lot. When I used to get along with students, many of my practices were worthy of persistence. Love, understanding, tolerance, encouragement and affirmation are all needed by everyone, but how many people really do it in life? Me neither. If I can treat everyone like my students, will the world be a better place? Children need constant encouragement and affirmation, constant love and understanding. Isn't it? Aren't our parents? Children who grow up with encouragement and affirmation are more confident. What about their parents who live in encouragement and affirmation? -will undoubtedly be more gratified and moved. With a "great" attitude towards life, life will get better and better. Always live with gratitude, the world is full of love! Combining my life experience and career, I am interested in the following points:
(A) Vision education
Eyes can support people or kill people. Some parents will have this question: "Many people say that my child is not good. What should I do? " No matter what others say about your child, you should always believe that your child can do it. Because the people who speak on the stage are so passionate because the audience below sees a nutritious meal, which makes people feel comfortable and happy. The environment for cultivating children is not only the size of the room, whether it is rich or poor, but more importantly, what kind of eyes adults around give children. Children who grow up with identity will be optimistic and lively; Children who grow up in the eyes of trust will be full of confidence. On the contrary, children who grow up in critical eyes are particularly prone to jealousy, while children who grow up in skeptical eyes are darker inside. Therefore, recognition, trust and appreciation are the greatest wealth that parents give their children.
(2) Punishment education
Education without punishment is not a complete education. However, punishment is not an end, the purpose is to let children know their mistakes and correct them. So, what kind of punishment is useful?
Method 1: In the face of a fighting child, we must first find out the facts, don't wronged him, and let him convince him that he is wrong. "If you are willing to be good, you will be good; If there is no intention of doing evil, its evil will not be punished. " A child is a "contradictory body". He may become a person with simple conduct or a violent tendency. Mr. Tao Xingzhi's four pieces of candy, like four pieces of love, made the little boy understand what true love is and what real courage is.
Method 2: In the face of a person who has made a mistake, criticism is necessary, but sometimes tolerance is more effective. There is such a story in the book. In ancient times, there was an old Zen master who was walking in the temple one night and saw a chair by the courtyard wall. He immediately understood that a disciple violated the regulations of the temple and went out over the wall. The old Zen master didn't say a word, quietly walked to the wall, moved the chair and squatted down on the spot. In less than half an hour, I heard something outside the wall. Then, a young monk climbed over the wall and jumped into the yard on the back of the old Zen master in the dark. At this time, the young monk discovered that he had just set foot on a master instead of a chair. This is a great event, and the young monk immediately panicked and was dumbfounded, so he had to stand in situ and wait for the master's advice. The old Zen master said calmly, "It's very cold at night. Go and put on more clothes. " To everyone's surprise, the ruler did not severely reprimand the young monk. A calm word made the young monk have an epiphany, and his heart grew a lot. Since then, the young monk has never sneaked out again, and has since devoted himself to studying Buddhist classics and understanding the truth of life. So is family education. Parents should be good at using the power of tolerance to make their children deeply moved and gain the power to move forward.
Method 3: Let the children who do wrong bear the consequences and be responsible for their actions.
In a word, we should really educate our children with love, but this kind of love is not doting. Our love should give children strength, confidence and responsibility, so that they can grow up in our love and stay away from selfishness, arrogance, inferiority and hatred!
After reading this book for the first time, I suddenly felt a lot, and there was a feeling of reunion after a long separation. After in-depth reading, I found that my understanding of children's education is still quite superficial, and this book has brought me a lot of gains. After all, the author has written such exquisite words with careful observation and educational practice all his life.
Once upon a time, I felt that I had not grown up, but in a blink of an eye, the baby was about to grow up. While enjoying the baby's growth and happiness, I feel more responsible for the baby's education and training. In fact, no matter from life, study, education and other aspects, every parent has devoted all his energy, and no one is less than anyone else. This contribution is a combination of "love+physical labor+mental labor". However, the results of education are different, which is caused by different ways and means of education. Parents are children's first teachers. Parents' education is very important for children, because it is not easy to grow up, but we still expect children to grow up. The process of growing up with children is the most important. What kind of children we want to cultivate, we must guide her and shape her in what way. While reading, I think back on my children's growth process and feel deeply about the dribs and drabs I have paid for educating my children. There are many successes and mistakes, but this book just writes what we urgently need.
In family education, because we are used to being parents and elders, we often use our own preferences instead of children's preferences, measure and demand children with our own standards, and control and influence children with our own outlook on life and values. Especially when faced with a certain choice, we often use parents' wishes instead of children's wishes. The consequence of this is that children will learn to be rebellious when they grow up a little, and they will be rebellious and unsociable when they reach puberty. Or you will become a child who can't think independently, has no opinion and is very dependent. Neither of these results is what we want to see. Respecting children means respecting human nature. Only when children are respected will they feel happy and have a sunny attitude. There will also be strong performance when encountering setbacks in later life. We don't advocate publicity, because the degree of publicity is difficult to grasp. We don't advocate the extinction of children's nature, and let children become a mediocre "bookworm". Character cultivation is as important as habit cultivation.
"Natural selection, survival of the fittest". In order to make children have strong adaptability to adapt to future life and study. Let the children develop in an all-round way. The growth of children is not only the improvement of academic performance. Learning is only one aspect of children's growth. Children's physical health, personality quality, working ability and sunny mentality are all worthy of our attention. Therefore, we should not only exercise their bodies, but also pay attention to cultivating their good habits of loving labor and being helpful. At home, he must bear her share and let them share our labor. The children trained in this way will not have psychological burden when they encounter work. She will only feel that there is too much fun in life, and gradually learn to have fun in bitterness.
The book "Growing Up Difficult" almost contains the essence of several generations' family education thoughts. With hundreds of vivid examples, stories and author's comments, the book makes us deeply realize that "it is not easy to grow up regularly." It is not easy for children to grow up, but as long as we follow the law of children's growth and educate them in a targeted way, I believe our children will grow up healthily and happily. Thanks to the author.
Growing up is not easy. I recently read a book "It's not easy to grow up". The "Six Treasures Left by Primary School Life" section of this book points out many ways to educate students, and also better understands the laws of students' physical and mental development.
The book uses examples to help teachers and parents understand the law of children's growth and cultivate children's happiness, love, friendship, self-confidence, responsibility and dreams. It takes each of our parents into their children's inner world, explains their long-term troubles, tells the skills of good communication with their children, and provides parents with practical methods to accompany their children to grow up. It is absolutely necessary for parents and parents. As a primary school teacher, how can we really "harvest the six treasures of primary school students"? Teacher Lu Qin compares life to a big tree. Whether this big tree is happy or miserable, flourishing or fruitful or flourishing, with few flowers and few fruits, depends on whether the roots of this big tree are thick or thin, deep or shallow. Childhood is the foundation of life. Giving children a happy childhood also gives students the most precious wealth.
There was a question on the test paper of new teachers' business in our last school, which asked children to mainly train students in primary school. I chose to study without hesitation. Then by comparing books, I know that our primary school teachers mainly cultivate children's observation ability. After reading Suhomlinski's explanation and Lu Qin's book, I understand that primary school students do not regard knowledge as the most important learning purpose, because children of this age are the sunrise and flowers of the motherland. When their learning environment is unpleasant and unfriendly, then they. Happy primary school life can promote the development of the right brain and make students' five senses of the right brain rotate freely, which is also an experience of inner freedom.
It is not easy to study when you grow up. Kang is the representative of left-behind children in rural areas. He is a sophomore in Qishan Middle School, Shaanxi Province, and his parents work in Beijing. He has been living in the country with his grandmother. The following describes his own mental journey from hating his parents to understanding them:
Dad 10 went to Beijing to work, when I was still in preschool.
A few years later, my mother also went to Beijing and opened a small facade for my father. I began to vaguely understand that they left me, left this home and went to live.
When I was in primary school, my concept of the word "staying behind" was still very vague. I only remember that when the school registered the list of "left-behind students", I always wrote down my name and parents' names on the list. At that time, every time my father called, he always said that life there was very hard and told me to study hard and not to let them down.
A hard life? I didn't understand it until I went to junior high school. How can parents live a hard life in Beijing?
I only remember that my two-year-old brother and I were dragging an agricultural vehicle in the field, and our shoulders were scratched with a heavy blood stain by a rope. Sweat will sting when it flows there, which is a very bitter life for me.
All I know is that I have to bear everything in my life alone-heavy study, farm work at home and the trauma of lack of affection. Everything, I gritted my teeth and survived.
10 year, one person.
In such loneliness, I once became very depressed. In the second day of junior high school, the class organized a "parent-child experience" activity, and dozens of students and their parents signed up. As a monitor, after mobilizing my classmates to participate, I was the first to abstain and classified myself as "unwilling to communicate with my parents". I cried in the dormitory the night others went to the activity. When tears ran down my cheeks and into my mouth, I tasted salty. I think this is a very bitter life.
Slowly, the resentment against my parents took root in my heart, and the strong dissatisfaction and rebellion I showed when I talked with them also made them lose their foothold. Thousands of miles away, my mother clamored for going home all day. She said she was afraid something would happen to me.
One night before the summer vacation of Grade Two, I had a big fight with my parents on the phone. All the resentment burst out at once. I cried and scolded them for not giving me a parent-teacher conference. I want to sit in the audience and watch me receive the award. I cried. Many of my classmates had an umbrella to pick me up on rainy days, so I had to rush home in the rain ... My reason was completely washed away by anger and injustice, and I hung up the phone without giving them a chance to speak. The bell rang in a hurry, and I picked up the receiver and shouted hysterically, "I don't want to live!" " "Then, unplug the phone line.
Dad hurried back from Beijing. I dug out a plane ticket that arrived in the early morning from his wallet. My father, who always wanted to go to Beijing by bike, came back by plane, and a faint regret began to spread in his heart.
It's summer vacation now, and the farm work of summer harvest at home has been finished. Dad stood in line at the county post office for several hours and bought two train tickets to Beijing. The night before I went to Beijing, I was too excited to sleep. Dad took me to the threshing floor in front of the door with a few bottles of wine.
That night, the weather was surprisingly good and not stuffy at all. A night breeze blew and several big trees rustled. My father and I lay side by side quietly on a broken mat. To tell the truth, I have been communicating with him very little. Having been a father and son for so many years, I don't even know his temperament. But my intuition told me that my father had something to say to me, and he deliberately chose this time and opportunity.
Sure enough, dad asked while drinking, "Do you really want to die?" His tone is very cold, as if asking me if I want to go to the county tomorrow. However, I obviously smelled a trace of majesty in his tone.
"yes. What did you say?/Sorry? ! "Lonely life made me develop an unruly character, and I was a little unhappy when my father mentioned it.
Dad seemed to hear my provocation, but he was not angry: "I don't want to tell you anything big." I know, you will say that this is out of date. I will use your post-90 s words to say that people either live well or die quickly! "
I didn't know dad would say that. Is this a challenge to me? Before I could answer, he added, "There is a little problem now. What's the point of your death? Still a man! "
Dad is a little excited, and I can't help it. I asked him loudly, "How many days do you only come back a year?" Who understands my grievances and injuries? Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? You are so irresponsible, you have left the whole family behind! "The more I said, the more excited I became, and tears welled up in my eyes.
Dad didn't comfort me. He stood up and dropped the empty bottle on the ground. The bottle fell on the soft yellow mud and did not break, but I still felt his full anger. "Well, I'm not responsible! Then you go out to work to earn money. If you have the ability, you can support your family, and I will pay for your school! What am I trying to do? ! You disappoint me so much! "
Say that finish, dad threw the slippers aside, sat on the straw mat and drank, and ignored me. While crying, I bowed my head and fiddled with the pebbles beside my hand. At this time, my father's feet caught my attention. What a pair of feet that are! Darkness, chapped, and some crimson scars are faintly visible. This detail stung my nerves, and I suddenly felt a faint sense of guilt.
My parents must have a better life in Beijing than me, which I have always believed. But when I look at my father's feet, I think that he wears the same clothes every time he goes home, and his white hair is getting more and more … What kind of life do my parents live in Beijing? I really can't answer now. Maybe only by going to Beijing can we find the answer!
Dad seems to read my mind. He regained his composure and said to me seriously, "Xiao Fei, now your duty is to study, and my task is to support the family." When you grow up, you will be as busy as I am making money to support your family, and even ignore your children ... "I have heard this many times, and I will definitely refute it before:" I won't be like you! "But now, I just silently listen to my father's words and let them flow into my heart slowly. Although I'm not sure what I will look like in the future, what Dad said may be right.
The next day, my father and I embarked on a journey to Beijing together. Along the way, I looked forward to the home in Beijing, although I knew it was rented; I also yearn for the life of city people, although I still want to go back to the countryside. But I'm also a little scared. Those "oil drums", "tricycles" and "wooden boxes" mentioned by Dad are probably my parents' whole lives. ...
Walking out of the railway station, my father and I took a bus all the way from the busy city main road and came to a small village in the urban-rural fringe. It seems to be a corner abandoned by the city. There is no bustling metropolis at all. Only muddy crowded streets and the noise of street hawking.
On the second day of my arrival in Beijing, my father's factory suddenly stopped water supply, which made my boss very anxious. He grumpily urged his father to do something quickly in an imperative tone. I don't like the way he treats his father, but I suddenly find it seems that I always order and blame my father why he doesn't do it for me.
I saw my father pacing up and down the yard anxiously, and my heart was suddenly sour. He kept talking on his mobile phone, and then called others "a brother" and "a manager". Finally, someone promised to lend water to his father's factory. Dad didn't dare to delay, so he immediately drove the minivan to fetch water. Because the factory used too much water, my father kept running back and forth between the two factories from morning till night, and I followed him until late at night. Our clothes got wet while carrying water, as if they had been caught in a heavy rain.
After carrying the last bucket of water, my father and I squatted on the ground panting. I felt very tired and wronged, crying and yelling at my father: "I finally came to Beijing and have to do this with you!" " "
Dad wiped a sweat and whispered, "I'm sorry, son." The voice was full of fatigue and guilt. I stretched out my arm and hugged him tightly, which was the first time in my life. Dad was soaked with sweat, so I just hugged him and patted him on the back. It suddenly occurred to me that my father always hugged me like this when I was a child. At this time, we actually exchanged roles.
After returning to my residence, my father kept praising my mother how capable I was, but I just kept silent. I have only done this kind of work once, but this time I worked hard and sweated with my dad, and my dad, poor dad and strong dad, ran around like this almost every day. I am as arrogant and naive as before. How can I be a son and be a good son? !
In the leaky board room rented by my father, I seemed to grow up at once in that sultry summer. On the day I returned to my hometown, I only said one sentence to my parents: "I finally know what I need most, thank you, parents!" " "
On the train, watching the parents on the platform getting smaller and smaller, I finally know that what a family needs most is mutual trust and love.
Understanding comes at a price. A boy stayed in the countryside for 10 years and complained about his parents for 10 years.
10 years later, the little boy grew into a big boy of 17 years old. Finally, misunderstanding turned into understanding, and complaining turned into regret. Only when he really understood why his parents left home and left their children to work in the city, and really understood that their parents worked hard to earn money at the expense of health for their children's bright future, did he forgive their parents from the bottom of his heart, and he felt the heavy responsibility on his shoulders.
Growing up is really not easy!
We don't want to see the blood and sweat of a generation of parents going out to work, in exchange for the rise of high-rise buildings, and we don't want to see a generation complaining and hating their parents.
It is not easy to grow up. 6 "Growth is not easy" It is a long process from the birth of life to the adulthood of children, but Teacher Lu still tells us how to treat children and how to make them grow up healthily and happily in humorous language.
No honeymoon babies. Teacher Lu vividly tells us why we don't want a "honeymoon baby" with practical examples. If you want to have a healthy and happy baby, you must wait until it is healthy and happy. Yes, who doesn't want a healthy and happy baby? This is very important advice for us unmarried women.
Mood affects looks. Teacher Lu also took his son and grandson as examples to explain why emotions affect looks, which is very vivid and easy to understand. This is not only for pregnant women and babies, but also for anyone. Bad emotions are "enemies" in our lives. So later, Teacher Lu also explained where the good mood came from, which is very useful to us, including "prolonging happiness, shortening troubles and screening memories", and there are many secrets for expectant mothers to keep a good mood and give birth to beautiful babies. Later, I also talked about what the prospective father needs to do: the fetus likes his father's voice and caress best. When the wife is pregnant, the husband can often touch the fetus gently across the stomach, and the fetus can respond positively to the displacement of the father's palm. The deep, generous and gruff voice peculiar to men is more suitable for the hearing function of the fetus, perhaps because the fetus naturally loves the father's voice, so all the fetuses show corresponding response ability to this voice, which is irreplaceable by the mother. During pregnancy, not only the expectant mother, but also the prospective father should smile, because the father's mood will affect his wife's mood. So the beloved son loves his wife first. Teacher Lu not only taught us how to love the baby, but also taught us how to love the people around us.
I think many young couples have thought about how to set an example and become a good first teacher and a good role model after the baby is born, but Teacher Lu said that moral education should start with prenatal education and want to be a responsible parent. From the day the child is conceived in the mother's womb, it should be the child's role model and teacher. How many people always want to change some bad habits in their long lives, but they can't persist, and when another little life is urging us, they can often change many things.
Parents all over the world don't want their children to grow up successfully, but how to improve their children's intelligence and even how to cultivate their talents may be a problem that puzzles all parents. Teacher Lu first talked about the influence of mother's emotions on children's intelligence. After reading this, I suddenly realized that emotional power not only affects children's looks, but also affects their intelligence. Not only that, Teacher Lu said that people are emotional animals, and the emotions of expectant mothers will affect the success or failure of prenatal education. In fact, for us, emotions will also affect the quality of our life and work, which shows how important it is to have good emotions. In order to make the life of expectant mothers and babies regular, even Teacher Lu gave some schedules for successful mothers. Because of a regular life, people can maintain a happy and calm mood. Teacher Lu also has his own unique views on the cultivation of talents. It is also through the growth experience of some excellent children that he proved that talent can be cultivated, and also explained how to cultivate talent. The language is simple, but clear.
There are also many expectant mothers around, and we often see them playing prenatal music for their children, but I think many parents are at a loss about how to choose prenatal music. At the end of this chapter, Mr. Lu listed what kind of music to play when and some matters needing attention, and repeatedly emphasized the importance of music. I think that with music, babies and mothers will have more happiness.
Expectant mothers not only gave birth to life, but also gave birth to happiness. I read about the hardships of being a parent and the meaning of life.
It used to be said that our birthday was Mother's Good Friday, but every birthday was always a good dish cooked by Mother. Mother always celebrates for us in obscurity behind our backs. I didn't know how badly my mother cried until I saw the first day when Teacher Lu's baby was born. It was really a "birthday, and it was hard for her father to worry about her mother." I used to say that a name is just a code name. It never occurred to me that a person's name is so important that it may affect a child's growth and even a person's life. Among them, Mr. Lu also explained to us how to name children, including the fact that it is very important for children's future development that their opinions are adopted by adults for the first time.