Find two satirical stories

20th place: Poor people can't afford to go to school because the tuition is too low.

Appearance: Zhang

Identity: Dean of Guanghua School of Management, Peking University, professor of economics.

Background: shanghai securities news128 reported that Professor Zhang pointed out that "the poor can't afford to go to college because the tuition fees are too low". Zhang said, "The annual cost of an undergraduate course in Peking University is 20,000 yuan, and the tuition fee is 4,000 yuan. The remaining 16000 yuan is government subsidy, that is, the poor are subsidizing the rich. Why not let the rich have more money? For example, the tuition fee can be 20,000 yuan, and the children of poor families give him a full scholarship, that is, the rich subsidize the poor. "

Issue 19: Sacrifice in the line of duty.

Appearance: Xu Xinxian

Identity: cadre of Qingliangfeng Town, Lin 'an City

Background information: On July 3rd, Hangzhou Information Network released a news that excellent X-member Xu died in the line of duty. The content is as follows: Xu was busy with official business, working day and night, and finally died in the car because of overwork, and at the same time, an excellent female cadre in the town was sacrificed. It is reported that Xu and the female cadre are talking about business in the car. Because the gasoline was burned out, the air conditioner was turned off, and the car was stuffy, the two men stripped off their clothes and pants to reduce their fever, and they continued to talk about business until they died.

Issue 18: the loveliness of Guangzhou's chaos

Appearance: Ren Jiantao

Identity: Dean of School of Hate Politics and Public Affairs Management, Sun Yat-sen University

Background information: "Guangzhou's public security is not ideal, which is an inevitable portrayal of Guangzhou's urban development, which just reflects Guangzhou's social vitality. ...... Guangzhou's "chaos" shows the loveliness of this city. " Professor Ren said this in his speech "Urban Memory and Urban Identity" on July 6, 2007 at 5438+04.

Issue 17: Tea "gets angry"

Appearance: reporter and doctor

Background information: Hangzhou reporter passed tea off as urine and went to 10 hospital for testing. Six hospitals were found to be "inflamed", and five hospitals provided anti-inflammatory drugs to reporters, with a total drug cost of about 1.300 yuan. The medical staff of 92 domestic 3A hospitals later proved through experiments that 90% of tea urine tests were false positive, which proved that the problem was not in the hospital. Mao Qunan, a spokesperson for the Ministry of Health, criticized the media's plan, saying it violated the professional ethics of journalists.

Issue 16: Eight In the snow

Appearance: Beijing Meteorological Bureau

Background: In the dog days of August, Beijing Youth Daily reported that it snowed in Beijing. The next day, Jinghua Times refuted the rumor that the meteorological department did not monitor the snow. Experts said that there was no snow that day-the statement that "it snowed in the sky" was unreliable, saying that there was no snow in Beijing and the Meteorological Bureau did not monitor it. The Beijing News reported that the snow that day was funa, an advertising company. Just as "Beijing 8 in the Snow" was about to be declared as fake news, it snowed for five minutes in Beijing, with videos and photos. Since then, the Meteorological Bureau has not refuted the rumor.

Issue 15: Did you drink water today?

Appearance: leadership

Background information: On June 5th, 2007, the death of Wuxi was recorded in a conference on cyanobacteria in Hubin Hotel. He said, "In fact, we have been drinking the boiled water of tap water in the waterworks these days" and drinking "tap water" in front of reporters. In the meantime, another leader was specially invited to supervise the boiling of water and express "truth" with a transparent cup. Afterwards, netizens found that this hotel used the German SBOK family kitchen water purification system.

Issue 14: Are you hungry today?

Appearance: Li Zhaoxing

Identity: Former diplomat is not long, and he is a new professor at Peking University.

Background information:

On July 8, 2007, the Beijing News reported that Li Zhaoxing was hired as a professor in Peking University, and told his students that when debating human rights with foreigners, he asked foreigners: "I have been starving, and I know what human rights are. Have you ever been hungry? "

Issue 13: The family members of the deceased in the south are in a stable mood.

Appearance: leadership

Background information: After major accidents, there are reports that "the lessons are profound, the rescue is effective, and the families of the victims in the south are emotionally stable". The aftermath of the "813" major accident of Fengdagong Dixi Bridge reached a new height. On the afternoon of August 16, Liu Laping's father, Liu, sent a banner with the words "enthusiastic service, public servant" to Long, director of the Fenghuang County Death Bureau. As of August 17, four family members of people who had met in South China have sent banners to the county party committee and government to thank them for their work.

Issue 12: "This is also to train talents for the country."

Appearance: Xu Jing

Identity: former female teacher of experimental center of Computer College of Beijing University of Technology.

Background: xu teacher embezzled more than 900,000 yuan when purchasing equipment for the laboratory "2 1 1 Project". At the first trial, she confessed 300,000 yuan for her daughter to study abroad. "This is also to train talents for the country."

No. 1 1: "If you arrest me, China will lose his official position."

Appearance: Zheng Xiaoyu.

Identity: former director of the state decocting bureau

Background information: Phoenix Satellite TV reported this sentence when Director Zheng was arrested. Zheng Xiaoyu took bribes of more than 6.49 million yuan and was executed on the morning of July 10, 2007 with the approval of the Supreme People's Court.

Issue 10: This hand cannot be washed!

Appearance: Huang Jinlian.

Identity: Principal of Fujian Sanming Special Education School

Background information: "If you have the opportunity to shake hands with Chief Zhongyang this time, can you not wash it off, so going back to shake hands with them is just like shaking hands with them?" From June 65438 to June 654381October+July 2007, President Huang, who was studying at 10 6+ 1 University, relayed the students' entrustment in this way.

The idea that everyone wants to buy a house is very wrong.

Appearance: Long Yongtu.

Identity: elite

Background information: On June 7, 2007, at the Nanjing "Dialogue with China" high-level forum, Long Yongtu said, "The main crux is that the concept of ordinary people has not changed, and everyone wants to buy a house. In fact, this idea is very wrong. Most people in China should solve the problem of renting a house. " When comparing the per capita housing ownership in the United States, Long Yongtu said that 30% of Americans buy houses and 60% rent houses, but not many people really own houses. He believes that most people in China should solve the problem of renting houses for a long time, and the people's goal is to "have a house to live in" instead of always staring at "high housing prices".

Eighth place: "People's Public Servant" Li Runshan

Appearance: Li Runshan

Identity: Opinions of Jishan County Committee

Background information: In late March, 2006, Yang Qinyu, director of the Legal Affairs Committee of Jishan County People's Congress, Nan, a retired cadre, and Xue Zhijing, director of the Agricultural Machinery Bureau, sent anonymous letters to city and county leaders and department leaders, reporting that Li Runshan had lost his post as a member of Jishan County Committee. 10 days later, Yang Qinyu and Nan were criminally detained on suspicion of libel, and Xue Zhijing fled and was arrested in Taiyuan. Li held a "warning education conference for all cadres in Jishan County", greeted the court and suggested that the three people be given a lighter punishment (one year in prison and suspended for three years). On April 25th, 2007, Li Runshan was awarded the honorary title of "People's Public Servant" by Jishan County People's Congress.

No.7: Green paint.

Appearance: Fumin County, Kunming City, Yunnan Province

Background information: On February 13, 2007, the media reported that "Fumin County painted barren hills for greening". It turned out that there was an abandoned quarry in Fumin County, and the local people repeatedly asked the relevant departments for greening. The county forestry department planted cedar and Christmas tree, but the effect was not obvious. According to the investigation, in July, 2006, a private owner in Fumin County, after reporting to the county forestry authorities, organized personnel to paint the exposed rocks, which played a temporary beautification effect.

No.6: It must be suicide, and it is not necessary to identify whether it is suicide.

Appearance: Xiangfan City Procuratorate

Background information: On May 4, 2007, the second trial of Gao Tianhu, the father of Gao Yingying, was held. Gao Tianhu's defense lawyer believes that whether Gao Yingying committed suicide is a "mystery", mainly because the local public security investigation work is extremely rough. He asked: "The next day, the forensic doctor took a high vaginal test paper (sampling). Why didn't he do the appraisal later? " The prosecution argued that "because it has been identified as suicide, there is no need for further identification."

Fifth place: cock crow in the middle of the night, May 30th tragedy.

Appearance: Ministry of Finance

Background information: On May 23rd, shanghai securities news interviewed relevant units in response to the rumor of stamp duty increase, and informed the Ministry of Finance and State Taxation Administration of The People's Republic of China: I haven't heard that the stamp duty on securities will be adjusted in the near future. A week later, the Ministry of Finance announced that the stamp duty would be raised to 3□. The Shanghai Composite Index plunged 28 1 point, a record high. Only 58 stocks in the two cities rose, and more than 900 stocks were close to the daily limit, which was called the "5.30 tragedy" in the stock market. Because the news release time is 5 am, it is also called "midnight cock crow".

Fourth place: Ouyang Keng

Appearance: Ouyang Ziyuan.

Identity: Chief scientist of Chang 'e-1 project

Background information: "Chang 'e" went to heaven, disappeared, reappeared, and sent back a photo. Netizen Liu Jun found that in the same area, the Goddess Chang'e flying to the moon's photo has one more impact crater than NASA's. Ouyang Ziyuan refuted this statement, saying that the extra pits in the photos of Chang 'e Moon may be caused by the low resolution of Mito, or by the impact of new small celestial bodies on the Moon between 2005 and 2007. Also known as "Ouyang Pit"!

On the same day, the netizen "beautiful eyes" found through careful comparison that the two pits in the Goddess Chang'e flying to the moon's photo actually correspond to a pit of NASA; In other words, it's either a mosaic error in America or a mosaic error in Chang 'e, but it won't be a new impact point. Netizens later found that it was not this point but a stitching line that made the stitching error. Some places have been corrected perfectly, and some places have appeared "ghosts".

65438. 2. 6 Ouyang Ziyuan said that doubting the authenticity of the photos was an insult to our country and a denial of the work of 17000 staff! There is no doubt about the authenticity of the photos! The details of stitching are "not worth talking about"!

Third place: from common sense analysis

Appearing in court: Nanjing Gulou District Court

Relevant personnel: Peng Yu and Mrs. Xu.

Background information: On September 5th, the Peng Yu case was pronounced by the Nanjing Gulou District Court, and the verdict was as follows: "According to the defendant (Peng Yu), he was the first person to get off the bus. From common sense analysis, he is more likely to collide with the plaintiff. If the defendant is doing a good deed, it is more practical to catch the person who knocked down the plaintiff, rather than just helping each other in good faith; If the defendant is doing a good deed, according to social common sense, after the plaintiff's family arrived, they can tell the truth and let the plaintiff's family take the plaintiff to the hospital and then leave on their own, but the defendant did not make such a choice, and his behavior was obviously contrary to reason. "

Second place: PetroChina and Sinopec applied for state subsidies.

Appearance: PetroChina and Sinopec

Identity: "Asia's most profitable enterprise", a global top 500 enterprise.

Background information: china securities journal reported in June 5438+February 65438+March that PetroChina, together with Sinopec, is reporting the actual situation of policy losses to the government and applying for state subsidies (510 billion yuan).

No.65438 +0: Going abroad is a prosperous time for tigers, and the roar of tigers inspires national prestige.

Starring: South China Tiger

Starring: Zhou Zhenglong

Starring: Guan Ke

Friendship sponsorship: Shaanxi Provincial Forestry Department, Netease

Background information: In 2007, it was an autumn. An old man photographed a tiger in Shaanxi, held up a leaf like a myth, and miraculously opened his eyes. The tiger's roar awakened the inside and outside of the Great Wall, and the photos were red on both sides of the ocean; Ah, netizen, netizen, you have taken a new step of majestic mountains and rivers, and you have taken a new step of majestic mountains and rivers and entered the autumn of fighting tigers!