A picture that was madly circulated in a circle of friends a few days ago, "The daily salary of psychological counselors can reach 9,000 yuan", such an eye-catching title is very eye-catching. 10 years ago, when it comes to psychology, most people are very resistant.
Nowadays, few people talk about "heart" discoloration, and more and more people are willing to choose psychological counseling. Why is there such a big change?
On the one hand, it stems from the popularity of psychological knowledge and celebrity effect. For example, Cui Yongyuan has severe depression, and the final cure of the disease cannot be separated from psychological counseling.
This makes many people realize that real health is not only physical health, but also mental health, and relationships are also very important. Although the frequency of going to psychological consultation is not as high as that of hospitals, the importance of psychology has reached several levels, which is a manifestation of social progress.
On the other hand, life is getting better and better, and fewer and fewer people may speak. I don't know when to speak properly, and my heart is rotten and I am torturing myself.
You can put it aside when you are busy. When you stop, the thoughts in your brain and the repressed emotions in your body begin to harass you. Anxiety, panic, nervousness, self-blame, inferiority, shame … Can you cope with these attacks?
If you confide in others carefully and are afraid to strip off yourself in front of others, then doubt whether he can guard your secret carefully. Turning one person's secret into two people to guard it is like pulling a "criminal" to share with you.
At these times, psychological counseling is like a lifeline. Because, no matter whether your relationship with the counselor is ideal or not, they must strictly keep your secret. Unless you agree to go public, or if you are suicidal, the consultation content is not confidential.
This is the most basic professional ethics of psychological counselors. So you can tell things that have been hidden in your heart for years, decades or even decades, because of safety and trust.
02
When I was a child, if my neighbor's aunt missed her husband, because she couldn't read, she would come to my mother to write ghost letters and send acacia letters, so that her husband could take care of himself outside.
People in Fiona Fang Shili will come to watch TV. Adults will gather in the small yard and talk to each other excitedly. Children will rush to the front and look at the flashing pictures on the screen curiously and nervously, which is comparable to the New Year's Day.
The outside world is wonderful, and everyone is looking forward to running out to see the world and plating themselves with gold. Later, with the rapid development of science and technology, the connection between people can be completed in an instant.
Compared with the long wait and face-to-face confession, we can express our feelings easily, directly, concisely and quickly through the Internet.
But our vigilance is getting heavier and heavier. After all, telecom fraud, burglary, pyramid selling, human traffickers ... Every day's headlines are deceptive.
"The heart that harms people is indispensable, and the heart that prevents people is indispensable." People's hearts are complicated, and it is difficult to distinguish between true and false, which makes many people put on masks for everyone, for fear that they will be cheated and hurt.
But occasionally, the guard will be too much, which will make people doubt and distrust everything around them. Living in the neighborhood for several years, we don't know each other. They only open the door a little when receiving the express delivery, and someone outside is holding the luggage and revealing dangerous information everywhere.
Star couples who show their love in front of the public on weekdays have already parted ways; A government official who speaks out against corruption, embezzles and accepts bribes, and violates the law and discipline.
If we say that "life is not acting, words are not recited", now "life depends on acting, and we should weigh three points when we speak". We don't believe our eyes more and more.
03
When I was wandering around Minhang a few years ago, I often passed by Xinzhuang subway station. Under the overpass in the South Square, there is a begging couple. The man is blind and the woman is all thumbs.
No matter whether the wind blows or the sun shines, they will live quietly in the corner. If I have change on me, I will put it with them. Occasionally, I will see them sharing the same steamed bread, and I am a little touched.
When I went to work again at the end of last year, the subway station was inevitably a little lost. I don't know why, but I always hope that the couple can still sit in that corner safely.
Looking around, I was delighted to find that they were really there. The place where they used to live was piled with steel bars and yellow sand, and they moved dozens of meters away.
Give the change quickly, they are thinner and darker, still so quiet. As usual, people in Xinzhuang subway station are in a hurry, so it is easy to ignore the couple.
At this moment, two little girls who looked like students passed by. One man said, wait a minute, I just have some change for them. Another said: There are many liars now. Beggars can earn more than 10 thousand a month, and life is much better than yours. Put your blx away.
The one who wanted to give money hesitated, and then was pushed away by Miss Sister. On the one hand, I'm angry and funny.
Liars do exist, such as those who are obviously strong but beg on the subway with their children on their backs. Only the two social vulnerable groups in front of them lost their ability to work at a glance.
Because of the preconceived concept of "liar", people lose their judgment. What is there to trust in this world?
04
A few days ago, Tencent launched the activity of "Lighting Life with Art". You only need 1 yuan to buy children's art paintings as a screen saver for your mobile phone and listen to the author's voice.
These paintings come from special mentally retarded people, such as autism, cerebral palsy and Down syndrome. This was originally a well-intentioned starting point, but after the activity began, it was questioned and speculated by many people. It is reported that this is an investor's fraud, and the children can't get the money.
Tencent Charity has to declare twice that there is no so-called "investor" or so-called share in this charity activity, and will regularly publicize the use of donations and supervise the implementation.
Many people choose to be a bystander because of distrust and fear that their goodwill will be abused; Others stand on the opposite side and make great efforts to discourage others from participating in the event, even if the organizer is Tencent, it is quite credible.
Fortunately, there are still many people who choose to "trust" and choose to pay for their kindness. There is a saying that "your world is what your heart is like".
If you want your world to be warm and bright, then don't look at everything around you with heavy defensive armor and colored glasses with unsafe signs.
Because excessive doubt and distrust will be preconceived, turn the background tone of life into a dark tone and destroy your relationship with others and the world.
Although there is not only dark light in the world, we should still believe in light after seeing the dark side of the world; Even if you have been hurt, it will not prevent you from pursuing happiness. When you still have a warmth and persistence in your heart, it will be easier to experience happiness.
Your heart decides your world.
05
Medical troubles reported by the media are not common, but the scenes are always frightening. When you have the opportunity to go to the hospital, you can feel the tension between doctors and patients. When you are a volunteer, you often encounter the following scenarios.
Doctors have good skills, patience and good reputation, and many patients come here. Nurses will come from time to time to comfort everyone to be calm, and they can't stop everyone from gathering together and waiting for the call at the door of the clinic.
I finally found myself. When I got to the doctor, I vomited out my illness in recent years. The doctor on the other side was too busy taking notes to look up. He quickly wrote the plan and gave it to his assistant, explaining the medication plan to the patient by the way.
The patient came out of the consulting room as if he were dreaming, just nervous. I wonder if the doctor really understands his symptoms. After several years of illness, I was sent away in just a few minutes, and the registration fee is still so expensive.
This idea disturbed the doctor's orders, and then rushed in and asked the doctor again, regardless of whether there was anyone inside. The doctor who is considering the patient's plan is helpless and has a bad attack, and he said patiently.
Finally, the patient rushed in again. "Doctor, can I recover from this disease? Will it recur? Am I serious about the case you saw? "
Doctors are even more helpless. When the patient returned to the clinic again, he began to doubt:
Before seeing a doctor, I thought the doctor was a lifesaver, but after seeing a doctor, I doubted my life. Do patients distrust doctors or even themselves?
You think the doctor didn't look up and pay no attention to you, but in fact his brain is running at full speed to refine and summarize, and prescribe the right medicine; You think the doctor wants you to have surgery for profit, but you don't know that surgery is the only solution that can cure you; You rush in and interrupt the doctor again and again, but you don't know that he is overloaded today, which will only prolong his overtime.
So, you don't trust doctors, so do you believe you will be treated well? Which sentence do you believe more in your heart?
Louise Hay, the most famous American psychotherapist and outstanding spiritual mentor, believes that different sentences will create completely different experiences. And our life, ourselves, will become what we believe in our hearts.
06
Director Xiaogang Feng's Weibo's speech became a hot topic. He suggested that couples should not forcibly check each other's mobile phones. If they find that there is something wrong with their mobile phones and want to go on, it will increase their difficulties; If the other person doesn't want to be with you, you have to leave without looking at your mobile phone.
To sum up, the couple can't live seriously, but they can be happy when they are confused. Based on a certain background, some heartfelt words were misinterpreted by everyone, and Xu Fan was dragged into the water.
Some people say: You can say that now, but because you are married to Xu Fan.
Someone is happy: this family is still dominated by men.
Some people are indignant: men in the world are generally black, but they are still so open.
Someone joked that women should not check men's mobile phones, and men should not check children's DNA.
The "truth" of marriage pokes the heart.
The cornerstone of a relationship is trust. If you look at each other's mobile phones every day, you will be furious at the slightest sign of trouble. Who wants to get close to people who don't trust themselves?
Intimacy is like a plate of sand. The tighter you hold on to it, the more counterproductive it is, which is tantamount to digging your own marriage grave.
Charles Louis Napolé on Bonaparte fell in love with young, beautiful, elegant and charming Eugénie, and their combination was a match made in heaven. Fame, beauty, wealth and health are all available.
But soon, the fire of Eugénie's unwarranted suspicion and jealousy began to burn. She didn't give Napoleon any time alone, nor did she respect his privacy. Originally elegant, she became a long-winded dissatisfied housewife. As a result, as she wished, her worst fear came. Napoleon had a good woman, just to rest his soul.
Unreasonable doubts in intimate relationships will only make the other person farther and farther away from you and deviate from the original heart. Dr. Lan Hai said that trust is the core element of happiness, because trust represents security, and security is the first need of people.
If you want to make the relationship go further, you must first be a trustworthy person. Ellis Zhuang, an American psychologist and founder of rational emotional therapy, said, "Treat others as you want them to treat you."
Trust is the cornerstone of happiness. May your world and mine be a warm background.
end
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Look at the highlights of the past first:
Smart women seldom complain.
Real winners in life know how to love themselves.
How much of our lives can be wasted?
Life can be short, but it can't be without vitality.
It's never stress that breaks you down, but your faith.
Have your needs been seen?
Inferiority stems from lack of love.
Embracing negative emotions is the only way to grow up.
It is better to cultivate personality than to support the poor and help the rich.
Psychological reconstruction? How did you get through those gloomy days?
Looking back suddenly, happiness is in the dim light.
The difference between you and others is these two hours every day.
Mei Sheng: It's all family of origin's fault, but it's your excuse.