Today's visitor is a man.
"I fell out with Xiao San, and now the relationship is very stiff. She gave me a month's time and said that if I didn't give her a statement, it would be mutually assured destruction, and no one would want to be better.
It's been a week now, and I'm particularly anxious. I don't know what she can do I don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill, but I can't convince her.
Here's the thing.
Xiao San is called Qing Qing (a pseudonym). She is 30 years old this year. She followed me at the age of 24, and this is six years.
My wife should know that I cheated her. For six years, she can't be ignorant, but she has never been broken.
We got married on 16. I am 40 years old, my wife is two years younger than me, and we have two children, the eldest son 14 years old and the youngest daughter is 8 years old.
My wife grew up in a single-parent family and her parents divorced. /kloc-When she was 0/4 years old, she lived alone with her mother. I think she knows that children who grow up in single-parent families are too bitter and lack love, and she doesn't want our children to follow the path she has taken.
When she is dissatisfied with me, she has a cold war with me and seldom quarrels with me. I can see her disdain for me from her eyes.
02
Six years ago, I met Qingqing. She is warm, lively and full of energy. Compared with my wife who keeps a straight face with me all day, I feel my sense of being needed.
We are in love, and she knows that I have a wife and children. She said generously, it doesn't matter, we can just talk about love.
The more she does this, the more I feel indebted to her. I give her everything she wants, except her birthright. I feel very happy every time she acts like a spoiled brat. I bought her a small house in her name. When I am tired, I go to find her.
My family is in business. I have been short of money since I was a child. I have a wife at home and a mistress outside, so I can afford it.
My wife's indifference to me gradually made me lose my guilt. As long as I meet her materially, Sunny never bothers me unless I contact her.
03
When the epidemic broke out in 2020, our family's business was worse than in previous years. I spend most of my energy on my work and don't care about Qingqing. Occasionally, when she has no money to spend, I will give her some money to spend.
In May, Qing Qing began to be angry with me, and her words were very ugly. She asked me if I was her pet dog. Calm down when you think about it. She has been following me for six years. What do you mean by my attitude today?
At that moment, I suddenly felt that she was not sensible. I am so busy here that I don't even have time to drink water. She doesn't want to eat, drink or spend money, and she has to be angry with me.
I think more and more about her. My wife, she knows what I'm upset about. When I come home from work and rest on the sofa, the children want to interact with me. My wife always tells my children not to bother me, and that their father is very tired, so don't bother him. ...
Think again about the various requirements of Qingqing for me. I feel like breaking up. I was so tired that I didn't treat her badly. I'm going to leave her the house after breaking up as compensation for her six years of youth.
04
Before I could break up, she picked on me first. She asked me for a divorce, saying that her family urged her to get married. She used to be very young, so she can block her age. Now that she is 30, she will become an old woman if she doesn't get married. She doesn't want to leave herself.
I don't agree. I made it clear to her that divorce was impossible. If you want to get married, you can find another man and we can break up.
As soon as she heard the word "break up", she immediately got excited and made a scene with me like a madman. I have never seen her run away from her like this. The next day, she sent me a message apologizing, crying pitifully, saying that she was wrong, should not lose her temper with me, loved me too much, and so on.
As soon as I let go and accepted her apology, the breakup was put aside.
The good times did not last long, and she lost her mind again.
Last year 1 October1day, I took my wife and children home to visit relatives and get together with relatives and friends. I randomly sent a circle of friends with intimate photos of my wife and children, and forgot to block Sunny. She was jealous when she saw it, called me crazy, and said that I was not human and shameless, and only cared about my happiness, regardless of her life or death. ...
I was very, very angry after listening to it. She didn't put herself in the right position at all. I broke up with her again. She was very angry.
Angry, she sent a lot of private photos of us together, threatening me to get a divorce or send them out. It's a big deal that we die together, and everyone will be better off. Finally, I was given a month's time ...
The most important thing in doing business is credibility. If she ruins my reputation, my business will be affected. I'm anxious. It's been a week, and she bothers me every day, making me insomnia. I don't know what to do. "
For Mr. Visitor's emotional appeal, the consultant made an analysis and suggestion to him:
Extramarital affairs, such things, are all bad things in the end.
From what you said, my wife didn't get caught cheating for six years for two reasons:
First, she is a single-parent family and knows the importance of a complete family to her children.
Therefore, she can't just consider her feelings. Once the child grows up and can be independent, she has a great chance to let go of this marriage.
Second: She knows you. She won't divorce for a mistress. She will turn back one day. She is waiting for her chance.
And you think it's simple. You think your wife won't divorce you, and mistress won't give you any trouble. You can have your cake and eat it, but you are too greedy. Women want to marry married men, often because men are superior in some conditions. As a mistress, she will never get ahead in life.
As she grows older, her jealousy will become stronger and stronger, and her competitive psychology will become more and more serious. Especially when she saw the photos of your happy family, she felt that the world was unfair to her. Why does she live in a place where she can see the light?
Now her obsession and crazy behavior attitude are because she is anxious and hopeless when she sees your determination to return to the family.
At this time, we should not irritate her, stabilize her mind and communicate with her effectively. Don't avoid her. The more you avoid her, the more excited she is. Just say it. Let her die.
Make it clear to her that in the past six years, she has benefited a lot from you, from daily expenses to houses. You didn't mistreat her, and you didn't force her to feel this kind of thing. When she was with you, she knew you had a family. She should have been psychologically prepared for this step.
As for her trying to ruin your reputation, it's not good for her. She is unmarried and has a long way to go. A woman's reputation is important. Destroying you means destroying herself. Tell her this truth, and she will reflect.
The person you are most sorry for in this matter is your wife. You wronged her for six years. How handsome and happy you are outside, how wronged and painful she is at home.
I hope this will teach you a lesson, treat your wife well in the future, improve your control ability, and don't let this happen again. Extramarital affairs will never have a good result! Take care of yourself.