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My name is Qin, after my mother's surname. My mother hopes that I can live a carefree life, which probably supports her lifelong idea and is the only blessing she can give her daughter.
I have always known that my mother is one of many women whose fathers are not at home, and my pronoun is "illegitimate daughter".
I don't know what love is, life makes people desperate, and people around me, including parents, make me don't know what love is.
I don't know why they are not together since they love each other, and why they are drifting away for various reasons. . .
I don't know why there is a me when they don't love each other. . .
I'm growing up. Inherited my mother's beauty, I was chased by more and more boys. But I still don't know how to love, because my parents never gave me a good example, so I stayed away from love.
My father is still living his unrestrained life, and my mother, from her initial infatuation and expectation to her gradual disappointment, finally woke up in a desperate suicide and began a dissolute life like her father. In my mother's words, this is the real life, and this is the enjoyment of life.
When I was three years old, I saw my mother lying in the bathtub. The swimming pool is bright red and full of accusations against my father's capricious feelings. ...