Husband and wife's communication skills choose the right communication opportunity.
People's energy is limited, and there are always peaks and valleys. It is best for couples to choose the communication time to avoid each other's fatigue period, poor physical condition or depressed period, and it is often easier to achieve the expected results by choosing the time when the other person's physical and mental state is better.
Choose the right communication occasion
When you are with your family and friends, you will feel very happy when you share some happy things between husband and wife or praise each other publicly. However, if the husband and wife are at odds and there are old people or friends around them, it is best not to show accusations against their partners, so that the other party will lose face in front of friends, and the other parents will be very uncomfortable when they hear it.
Dare to express, don't let the other party guess.
When a husband or wife needs something, express it bravely, and don't keep silent and suppress yourself for fear of rejection. Some husbands or wives, especially wives, will not communicate when necessary, and let the other person guess their thoughts. If they guess, they will prove that the other person loves them. If they don't guess or forget, it proves that the other party doesn't love themselves and will end up sad or noisy. Actually, this is a misunderstanding.
It is a principle to talk about things as they are.
Beautiful moments can be freely associated, but it is when two people have conflicts that the wisdom of communication between husband and wife is most tested. Talk about what happened and pay attention to why it happened, how to deal with it and how to avoid it from happening again. If all the rotten sesame seeds in the past are pulled out, nothing will be solved.
With what? Me? Express for the theme
Husband and wife communication often appears similar? Why are you so lazy to express yourself? In fact, this kind of judgment is not only arbitrary, but also makes people who hear this sentence feel like they are accusing, but they don't cooperate. A better way is to use? Me? Express for the topic. Like what? I'm so tired, can you help me? It will be easier to achieve my goal.
Express love and gratitude in words.
Many people think I love him, and he should know! I miss him. He should know. I am grateful to him, he should feel it! But these are the results? Should? He didn't even feel it, and he didn't know it. Husband and wife originally came from different family environments, and their views on some things have traces of their own families. Moreover, the differences between the sexes make it impossible for us to think about the same thing all the time.
So gratitude, or love, should be felt by no one. Need a clear statement from one party. Many times, it may not be understandable to express it, let alone not to say it.
Don't assume that he knows or understands.
Don't assume telepathy, even if you really feel it sometimes. Don't assume that you have the same taste. The way to please your partner is to make him feel that you don't know his thoughts in advance. If his answer is different from what you think, don't make a boring expression, as if everything is under your control, and let the other person see your pleasure, because you shared a little secret again.
Listen to TA, and then ask TA to listen to himself.
In marriage, we can see many silent partners. In the process of negotiation, I found that the result is usually because the silent party is defeated in the language struggle, so the policy of not communicating with each other is adopted. So, don't be too eager to communicate, lest your speech turn into a hurricane and ruin everything in front of you.
There is no right or wrong in love, and there is no winning or losing.
Many couples, once in dispute, will argue about right and wrong and win or lose. There is no winner in the process of falling in love and quarreling! In the process of winning or losing, in fact, everyone lost. Because I forgot the purpose of the initial communication, I failed to achieve the expected communication effect. And many things in life are unsolvable, and there is no right or wrong. Therefore, in the case of disagreement, it is much better to say a few sweet words to your partner and think of a win-win solution than to argue endlessly about right and wrong and win or lose. Family is not a court, and husband and wife are not lawyers and judges.
One of the misunderstandings of husband and wife communication
Contrary to the principle of mutual respect and equality between husband and wife, many couples hope to overwhelm each other, or control each other, or transform each other. One side is condescending, which is very harmful to the communication between husband and wife.
The second misunderstanding of husband and wife communication
Only face, not show mercy? Lizi? .
For example, a husband would rather offend his wife than others, such as parents, elders, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends. It damages the alliance between husband and wife, easily destroys the sense of identity between husband and wife, and then destroys the good communication atmosphere between husband and wife. Because the foundation of marriage is not only the combination of two hearts, but also the alliance of two people or the integration of husband and wife.
The third misunderstanding of husband and wife communication
I believe that after marriage, he (she) will love himself all his life and live together every day, thinking of each other? Know the roots? Needless to say, we don't need that much at home? Polite? .
In fact, politeness is a sign of respect, and mutual respect is an important prerequisite for good communication.
The fourth misunderstanding of husband and wife communication
I think the other party fully understands what I mean, and I also believe that the other party will get the message, and I don't need to explain and explain myself.
In fact, husband and wife should try to let each other understand their own meaning or ideas, at least don't misread themselves, be straightforward but not too much; Some things, sometimes not too straightforward. You should learn to let the other person know your inner feelings, and don't let the other person secretly grope and guess. You must first know the depth of your heart.
The fifth misunderstanding of husband and wife communication
The contradiction between negotiation and transparency, such as the dispute over the right to know and privacy.
Many people don't understand that when there is a contradiction between the right to know and the right to privacy between husband and wife, the right to privacy should be higher than the right to know, and the other party is not allowed to keep some small secrets that are harmless to the overall situation. Too serious and haggle over every ounce is not conducive to healthy communication between husband and wife. However, major issues involving the interests of husband and wife and family should be discussed more and implemented as much as possible under the condition of basic consistency.
The sixth misunderstanding of husband and wife communication
Do not pay attention to cultivating * * * to share life content.
The habit of flirting with each other to show love (such as giving gifts to express your feelings and ignoring compliments) lacks the interest of life, and it is easy to ignore or lose the opportunities and opportunities for communication. On the contrary, what do you think? No time to communicate? , or emphasize all? An old couple? Even think flirting is love? Not serious? . In fact, flirting can cultivate romantic feelings and increase the cohesion of husband and wife.
The seventh misunderstanding of husband and wife communication
Neglect to reconcile the differences between husband and wife in a way acceptable to both parties.
For example, personality differences, if the wife likes talking very much and often criticizes her husband for incompetence, irresponsibility and doing something wrong, the husband is even more reluctant to talk in front of her. Communication difficulties are often the result of mutual reaction between two people. One side is silent, and the other side should learn to listen. Listening to kung fu is more difficult than speaking it. Husbands should be like husbands, and wives should be like wives. Always? Mom? With what? Little brother? Father? With what? Daughter? Or teachers to students, which requires updating the ways and methods of communication.
The eighth misunderstanding of husband and wife communication
Ignore the role of the subconscious.
In the parent-child triangle relationship, the wife likes the son, the husband disciplines the son, and the wife protects the son, making the husband subconsciously jealous; When the wife disciplines her daughter and the husband speaks for her, the subconscious plays a role, and when she is jealous, she will lose her temper.
You can't create the conditions and time for communication for yourself in time. In a three-person world and a family with multilateral relations, you should create time and space for husband and wife to be alone. There is a young couple whose children always sleep in the same bed with their parents when they go to primary school. They haven't had sex for years. As a result, the husband often rents a house outside on the pretext of working overtime, spends money to live with others, and is finally discovered by his wife. The husband admits his mistake and is determined not to divorce. They accepted the psychological doctor's advice, let the children get used to living alone in another room, and they made up again.
The ninth misunderstanding of husband and wife communication
Ignore the positive significance of sexual knowledge and communication.
So-called? Husband and wife have no overnight hatred? Is to emphasize the positive role of sexual communication. A large sample study found that among nearly 3,000 couples, 50.9% didn't know or heard of orgasm, and only 34.2% thought it was very important. Husband and wife could have reached the highest level of sexual marriage combining spirit and flesh, but at present, most couples still need to work hard.