The title "Three Ways to Change Her Mind" was very attractive to him at that time. He added the WeChat of "Emotional Mentor". The "tutor" said to him, "Just pay the money and we'll help you find a way." Like a drowning man trying to catch the last straw, Zhida paid thousands of dollars.
The "mentor" who has never met has repeatedly instructed Zhida to reply to his ex-girlfriend's circle of friends. Later, the effect was not good, and the "mentor" took the initiative to lose contact.
Similar online "emotional redemption" services have triggered a large number of consumer rights disputes. According to many media reports, not only the service agreement was intentionally or unintentionally scribbled, including paying the "tuition fee" with a WeChat red envelope, but there was no specific contract; Moreover, some "mentors" teach lovelorn people from a distance to use the same method as PUA in an attempt to save their left lovers.
Young people are lovelorn, and those who want to save their love regard the "emotional mentor" on the Internet as a magic medicine and a folk remedy. But the potion didn't work, and they continued to experience the disappearance of innocence.
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Shanshan is looming in Zhida's heart. Sometimes he feels that he fully understands her, and sometimes he feels that she is far away from himself and he can't see her.
He came into contact with an "emotional redemption" business that does not need to see a consultant, but only needs WeChat communication.
Relying on the Internet, "emotional recovery" has become an industry. Yang Bingyang (whose real name is Yang Bingyang), a network celebrity who once caused serious controversy, once served as the business website of Guangzhou Huazhen Education Consulting Co., Ltd., and the most eye-catching position was marked "Save Love".
The mobile phone application "Deer Emotion" claims to have120,000 registered users and more than 3,000 professional consultants. The authenticity of these data is difficult to verify. However, its late-night "emotional consultation" live broadcast has seven or eight hundred people who are stable online.
Zhida is one of them. He said that he knows now, "only two people understand emotional things."
Zhida was in his twenties, and he was a strong man in Northeast China.
He has a very secret heart. When he was in elementary school, a classmate falsely accused him of writing a love letter to a female classmate in the same school. In fact, there is no such thing. It's just that the school informed criticism killed him with an electric horn. All the students heard it. For this matter, the female classmate transferred to another school and left. Since then, he has been afraid of girls.
He first met Shanshan. She is not wearing a uniform. She just turned 2 1 and is the new front desk of the hairdressing shop. Shanshan looks dull, dull and tall. She is like a girl in his hometown and neighboring village, kind.
He said that at this time he had already moved his heart.
Zhida has worked in this hairdressing shop for six years. He gave customers a complete "cut, wash and blow", and the price gradually increased from the initial 15 yuan to 88 yuan.
Later, when he told her his love, she hesitated. She talked with her girlfriend in her hometown for a few days before agreeing to him.
After "together", he postponed the party with the male hair stylist and took her to the most interesting scenic spots in the city. The bridge goes straight into the ocean, and the lights at night are varied, all with the theme of love. Shanshan is a stranger in this city and at a loss. She worships him. He thinks it's romantic.
She gradually showed some qualities that fascinated him more. As it turns out, she is not completely clever and rude. The stylist brought the customer to pay the bill. From time to time, they will see a Shanshan looking down at her mobile phone. It turned out that she studied WeChat business and wanted to run some small businesses herself.
Her dream is to buy a house of her own in her hometown. Shanshan said to Zhida several times: "I will definitely earn more money than you in the future!" "He used a very heroic tone, the heart is shocking.
She defined the partner he wanted for him, and he should be as vivid and dazzling as her. Originally, Zhida imagined his wife as "fertile", but now it's different.
Later, Zhida and his boss didn't talk about salary properly, so he resigned and left. After a while, Shanshan sent him WeChat, saying that he was going back to his hometown because of his service attitude. Zhida has comforted her once now. After thinking about it, Zhida sent her a message saying, why don't I go back to Henan with you? After he and Shanshan went to Henan, he gradually became ambitious. He decided to raise money quickly and open his own barber shop in the county. With this in mind, he hurried back to the northeast for the New Year. When he returned, Shanshan decided to leave him.
Later, Zhida analyzed that maybe she just needed him in a strange city, but they didn't have a good emotional foundation.
At present, he has experienced a dull pain. Hoping to save Shanshan, he still opened a barber shop in the county town, which soon closed down because he was in a hurry.
He contacted Shanshan many times and begged to find a way to save her. Often just a few words of nonsense, he choked up and couldn't speak. Shanshan thinks he is crazy.
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He used to cook and wash clothes for her. He found a new job in the county. She visits him in the shop where he works during lunch break, and he will wash her hair. He told her what he did today. He always asks her what she did today.
After she left him, he spent more time to understand her thoughts.
After breaking up for half a year, an APP finally told him that feelings have routines to follow. The "Little Deer Emotion" APP has four major themes, namely "Breaking up to save", "Love Divorce", "Marriage and Family" and "Chatting Skills".
The following article is entitled "Saving Women's Hearts". These three tricks make her change her mind and skillfully use this recovery skill, and she will be eager to save you again. Advanced recovery tricks, even cruel women will be soft-hearted.
When I saw these articles, Zhida was looking for the answer to "What happened to girls". .
He used the "emotional tutor" to open the live voice broadcast. The live "tutor" is like an emotional program host on the radio, constantly answering the emotional troubles raised by online netizens. "There are too many places where men don't do well. For example, there is no ambition, no sweet talk, and life is sloppy and unsanitary. You don't even know where the problem is, how can you save it? "
Zhida was convinced and immediately added a "mentor" WeChat. He told the "mentor" about himself and Shanshan, and the "mentor" said that he paid for the guidance. Zhida recalled that the tutor spent a lot of time comforting him: "She will change her mind and I will always help you."
He was a little moved.
The tutor instructed him not to pester Shanshan all the time, not to contact Shanshan for half a month first, and "cold her for a while".
"Cold is really cold, (the ending) is not what they promised." Chi da can't help feeling. Later, he learned that this is a common "self-shaping" project in "emotional counseling" services.
Half a month passed and Shanshan didn't respond. The "mentor" also instructed Zhida to send some "positive energy" content in the circle of friends. And take the initiative to reply to Shanshan's circle of friends and give her a compliment.
Shanshan became colder and more impatient. She even sent him a long WeChat: If you are in trouble in the county, you can find her, otherwise don't disturb her.
Zhida thought that Shanshan would always regard him as an old man who loves to cry. The "mentor" on WeChat also gradually refused to reply to him, like a default failure.
Zhida didn't expect what strange and unreliable things the "emotional mentor" gave him. He only thought that the "mentor" wanted to earn his money.
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This is quite a big business. If you search for "emotional recovery" with a search engine, the first 10 pages are all pages of various "professional" emotional recovery institutions.
On the consumer complaint platform, a large number of related complaints can be found-following the words of the "mentor" did not achieve the promised effect of the "mentor", and their lovers did not change their minds.
The criticized APP "Deer Emotion" has a "mentor" online every night to introduce "redemption" skills and answer questions from netizens in chat rooms.
Throughout the evening, there were six "mentor" voices in the chat room, each of which was broadcast live for one hour.
At 6: 45 pm, a male voice is analyzing the common actions that men can't save their ex-girlfriends: complaining to their ex-girlfriends repeatedly; Moral kidnapping of ex-girlfriend, such as "Do you have the heart to leave someone who loves you so much"; Threaten suicide.
The "mentor" said that this is all wrong. He called more than 700 listeners in the chat room "brothers". "If you have this situation, you can deduct 1 for me."
"Brothers always say that as long as you come back, I will change anything." The "mentor" said, "You will only make the other person feel that you need ta too much." "There is such a situation, to deduct a 1,"
Then, the "tutor" said to the two listeners who were detained 1: "You will send me a screenshot of chatting with that girl later, and now add me to WeChat."
If you want to get an emotional recovery skill, you should also add his WeChat.
The girl who is online at 7 o'clock has a sweet voice. She said that she is a senior psychological counselor, focusing on emotional recovery.
She said that a "brother" often came to ask her with a chat record. Why are ex-girlfriends so disgusted when they see themselves talking? Did they give up? -"You can cause her mood swings, which means she doesn't want to break up with you yet, but some parts of you don't meet her needs."
The female "tutor" promised that if the micro-signal provided by her was added, she could make a set of test papers to test the recovery probability for free, and then accept an "in-depth analysis of value 1000 yuan".
The number of chat rooms has risen to more than 800, and there are several female "mentors" with different accents.
"If I don't give you some dry goods first, you will feel that this teacher is not professional enough." One of the female "mentors" said.
You can send a photo with several women to make your ex-girlfriend jealous. You can give her some takeout anonymously. -It's a way.
You can also send her a WeChat message: "Fish, so trust water, but water cooks the fish, leaves so trust, but the wind blows it away." I trusted you so much that you hurt me. " Later, I learned that it is not water that cooks fish, but fire, and it is autumn that blows leaves. It's not you who hurt me, it's my self-love. I finally decided not to wait. I gave you back to the sea of people, just like the wind never blew, you never came, and I never loved. "-is also a way.
The point is to make yourself look hard to get, not "lick the dog". The specific way is to look at the materials sent by the "mentor" and whitewash yourself as a character: first cool the ex-girlfriend and then "attract".
An anonymous netizen left a message to the "tutor": "My girlfriend thinks I'm bored and lazy, and has blacked me out 10 for more than a few days. I gave him all my tenderness, and now she doesn't agree. "
"Change your image," Miss Anne replied. "Don't give her such a humble feeling in the future, understand?"
According to the report of Changjiang Daily on June 20 18, the Wuhan headquarters of "Little Deer Emotion" located in the Great Wall Hui Building in Hongshan Square has nearly 500 employees and an office area of 4,000 square meters, and its business scope includes non-medical psychological consultation.
Behind the "Deer Emotion" APP is Wuhan Deer Chaos Technology Co., Ltd., with a registered capital of100000, which is wholly owned by Beijing Charming Power Education Consulting Co., Ltd. In June 2065.438+07, Deer Emotion was invested by the guiding fund invested by Wuhan Science and Technology Investment Company, claiming to be the first enterprise in the field of marriage and family psychology and emotion in China. Later, the "deer love" became full of complaints.
For a large number of complaints, both the company and the local industrial and commercial departments said that the company only provides a platform, and the company that provides emotional consultation on the platform should bear the responsibility of false propaganda and breach of contract.
However, the company name of emotional "mentor" is not marked on the platform, and users' understanding of "mentor" is often limited to the other party's industry "flower name". After the dispute, the user and the "tutor" were separated by the "Deer Emotion" customer service. Most complaints stop at bargaining with customer service. Some customer service told consumers that although the publicity was "recovery rate 100%", the "mentor" did not mention that a special "predecessor" could be recovered; Through customer service, some "mentors" let go and chose to refund the money. Some don't.
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Later, Zhida met some men and women who also sent money to "emotional tutors" in the online world. Wan Yong, a young man on a construction site, once fell in love with a female owner of a clothing store, and still remembers it for a long time. Like Zhi Da, Wan Yong searched painfully for "What happened to the girl".
Wan Yong made a determined effort and gave 2,500 yuan to an "emotional tutor". The WeChat chat records he showed reporters showed that he once said to the "mentor", "I really don't have that much money." "Tutor" replied, "I can apply for installment (payment) for you." Wan Yong said that the "mentor" also arranged for him to "cool down" his ex-girlfriend for a while, and then the "mentor" disappeared.
Xiao Wang heard that someone paid100000 to the "emotional tutor". He said that at that particular moment, "as long as people can come back, everything is fine, no matter how much money."
Xiao Wang watched the video of Bad Boys University in junior high school, learned some dressing skills and chatted with girls. He used to be very confident.
The last entrepreneurial project of Wu Jiamin, the actual controller of "Deer Emotion", is the online education website "Bad Boys College". In the public report of 20 15, he claimed that the average customer unit price at that time was around 1400 yuan, and there were 654.38 million active users, learning how to pick up girls online. At that time, PUA was introduced by "Bad Boys College" as including the skills of hitting on women, pursuing women, and sometimes including the skills of making love quickly.
When Xiao Wang was in high school, he saw a school girl with white hair. That's her, he thought.
Junior year is particularly simple, like a little white rabbit, in line with his fantasy of his partner. Wang Gaozhong Jr. has been doing various part-time jobs during the summer vacation when he graduated. Later, he took out all the lucky money for several years and bought a car with a loan. He often drove to see her when he was in college.
He misses her and wants to know what she is doing. I was admitted to the university in my junior year. Xiao Wang sometimes asks her to do her homework by video. For several hours, she only saw a girl who bowed her head and studied. After breaking up, Xiao Wang once commented, "I am too clingy."
She left him a good memory. She once said that she loved him. They used to go out to play together, and she had him in her eyes, all of which were love.
Until she offered to break up with him. Xiao Wang panicked and suddenly found that he didn't understand her at all. Similar to Zhida, he has repeatedly speculated whether he came back to answer her phone after playing the ball. When he was exhausted, his tone was not very good, which broke her heart.
Xiao Wang used to be addicted to online complaints. He said that he had asked for advice from netizens in Baidu Post Bar, and several people responded to him enthusiastically, analyzed his and her situation, and then proposed to add WeChat to discuss it in detail. Finally, they all want money.
He also entered a WeChat group related to "redemption", all of which are bad karma of lovelorn divorce. He also said his own situation. This time, a much older divorced aunt said to him, "You didn't do anything wrong; Look, your ex-girlfriend is with another boy so soon. She fell in love with someone else. "
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Before being woken up by menstruation, Xiao Wang had attended many online remedial classes for "emotional recovery". He also told his "mentor" about his distress.
At the beginning of this tutorial class, I said something mysterious like "Taoism is natural". The core idea is that if you improve your own realm, women will naturally come; Xiao Wang doesn't understand what they are saying. Next, the tutor began to teach PUA fixed routines: dressing up, hitting on people in bars, using social software to ask out strangers of the opposite sex nearby, and making love quickly. Xiao Wang begged for a refund, but the dispute failed.
He didn't give up, but also signed up for a "recovery" course on another platform, and found that he still chose clothes, took photos and made friends. The "mentor" also suggested that he could be instructed to chat with his ex-girlfriend WeChat. He tried, "said something very greasy", but the bull's head was not right.
The little queen came to quarrel with the "mentor" The "tutor" arranges homework and asks students to add how many girls' WeChat; Xiao Wang said, "I want to get my ex-girlfriend back. I don't want other girls. " "The tutor" scolded him and said, "Why don't you sleep with more girls? Why do you have to have an ex-girlfriend' that garbage'? "
Xiao Wang was speechless. He said that he also tried to practice PUA with social software, found some strange women and agreed to meet them. Xiao Wang had a hard time and never met again.
"I just want to be confident." When it comes to the original intention of "saving", Xiao Wang is very upset.
He often can't help but contact each other, "just like a child." Maybe he should refrain from contacting her, but if he doesn't, will he be cold to her? When in love, he is at a loss. Xiao Wang needs someone to tell him what to do.
Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, once analyzed in Introduction to Narcissism that people who fall in love can easily pin their ideals on their loved ones.
Freud believed that love is humble, and it is common to worship each other in love.
"fanatical love first comes from reproductive impulses." Alvin Wong, a national second-level psychological counselor, told reporters that there is nothing to avoid. "It is the massive secretion of hormones in the brain that causes some people to forget even if they can't pursue it."
Alvin Wong is a university psychological counselor in a prefecture-level city in Jiangxi Province. He met many counselors who came to talk about their love. He told reporters that in a small city, it is a luxury to have a formal psychological consultation, so people who find him are often in great pain. "High probability is a love that is difficult to repair, and it is a mismatch that is difficult for two people to change."
As for PUA, Alvin Wong also admitted that it was not just some pure scams. He even heard that the regular peers who did psychological counseling provided some suggestions similar to PUA to the visitors.
He sometimes gives some advice to visitors himself: take his partner to dinner and say something sweet. He said that there are indeed some visitors who lack understanding of how to interact with the opposite sex.
This kind of emotional counseling is still blank in supervision. In a paper "Analysis of PUA Crime Subculture", it is mentioned that "China has not set up a special supervision department for the emotional counseling service industry, let alone related laws and regulations to regulate it."
The above paper not only suggests strengthening legal publicity and perfecting laws and regulations, but also hopes to improve the audit of online trading platform stores and strengthen the supervision of social platforms; Improve the market access threshold, such as establishing a regular assessment system for psychological counselors and raising the threshold for setting up marriage and love consulting service companies.
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Wan Yong thinks he may not love others as much as he loves the shopkeeper. "When you have some experience, you won't be naive anymore." He said that his income and social status have improved a little in recent years, and it is difficult to like someone again. But he misses his old self. He is very happy in love.
Zhida said that he learned a lot through this "lovelorn". The failure of emotional counseling also made him understand that only he can handle emotional problems well, and others will not know the specific feelings of the two. After the failure of packing a circle of friends, he worked as a barber in Henan county for half a year before deciding to leave there.
He hasn't been in love for the next two years. Friends in the hairdressing industry teased him and said, "Do you still like Shanshan?" "I still like her," Chi replied.
Zhida drifted, went to a city in Hebei, and still worked as a cheap barber. However, he said that he would work hard to make money and give his family a good living environment in the future. "Give priority to finding someone who loves me more in the future." He said.
Xiao Wang is contradictory. He hates his ex-girlfriend a little. After passively learning PUA knowledge, Xiao Wang recalled his first love and suspected that many ex-girlfriends might be cheating on him. For example, why do people in their family always secretly dislike his poverty? Is it to tie him up and keep him and suppress his self-confidence? Does she also know a lot of love skills and keep them from him?
The little queen came to find a job in the human resources department of the enterprise. He said that he met more people later, and sometimes he went to bars and saw all kinds of women. He now feels that many girls are not as simple as they seem.
He sometimes recalls his parents' acquaintance. When my mother was a girl, my father created various opportunities to pick her up from work. "I fell in love inadvertently and gave birth to me inadvertently." Xiao Wang yearns for that feeling. He is not sure whether he can meet again. Xiao Wang is still waiting.