In fact, as far as society is concerned, the phenomenon of son preference is really rare, and most parents are patriarchal. I believe my mother should have the same idea as me: "Bauer is young and needs special care." I forgot that the boss is just a child! It is difficult for parents to take care of their children with a bowl of water, but they should try to be fair, especially for their children. Perhaps at this time, Dabao will send out a voice in his heart: "Mom, can you have a bowl of level?" We parents should not have a second child, and don't forget the boss.
Children's cognitive ability
Andy Merzov, a psychologist at the University of Washington, has proved through some experiments that babies are born with a series of magical cognitive abilities.
Indeed, children have a certain cognitive ability to the external environment from an early age, and gradually develop. In this process, they will adjust their development process according to their sense of security, and then adapt to the growth of the environment. Therefore, parents' attitudes towards things can be distinguished by children. Just as the mother is partial to her younger brother at the beginning of the article, the little girl can feel it. The little girl will also tell why her mother hates her through the external environment. The last result may be very bad for the little girl.
As soon as the TV series "Everything is OK" came out, it caused a social sensation. Mingyu is pitiful, strong and pitiful, and Mingyu's mother is hateful. Mingyu is a victim who has not been treated fairly. My mother has been obedient to her brother since she was a child, but only for Mingyu, and she really doesn't like Mingyu. Mingyu knew from the beginning that her mother didn't like her, so she was hostile to her mother. When my mother's urn fell from the car, many people might say it was Mingyu's fault, but if we knew Mingyu's experience from the beginning, we might not think so.
Ps: What children receive from childhood is very important. Children follow others to explore step by step. Fair treatment will make children enjoy more parents' love and let them grow up healthily.
Children's imitation ability
The experiment of "Bobo Doll" by Bandura, a famous contemporary American psychologist, also confirmed that children will observe and learn, and they will learn something beneficial to themselves through observation.
In this experiment, Bandura asked 72 children aged 3-6 in the kindergarten of Stanford University to participate in the experiment, and divided them into two control groups (* * * four groups) before the experiment. First, two groups of experimenters were taken to two rooms. To observe children's behavior after adults' violent or non-violent intervention on Bobo doll.
The experimental results show that children who are properly intervened by adults (playing with toys quietly) will completely ignore Bobo dolls and just watch them quietly with the intervention. However, a group of adults who committed violence against Bobo dolls appeared to imitate violence.
After watching the role model behavior in the video, the children of the other two groups of experimenters made two completely different behaviors to the same situation set by Bandura in the video. The imitation level of children in the experimental group who watched violence was much higher than that in the experimental group who watched nonviolent behavior.
Bandura extracted two important theories from "Bobo doll experiment", one is observation and learning, and the other is reinforcement. In other words, children will observe and strengthen their learning according to the behavior of adults.
Therefore, as parents, we should try our best to establish correct values for our children, and don't ignore the influence of "bad behavior" on their children in daily life. They will constantly observe and strengthen their learning in their hearts.
Let's talk about Mingyu in Everything is Fine. Although the hardships of childhood made her career, she became a person who was resistant to others. She still can't believe that her parents will treat their children like this, so that she has always held a grudge. If you don't want your children to hate you in the future, you should treat them equally and don't let your children become the real version of "Mingyu".
There are two children at home, how to "make a bowl of water flat?"
If parents want to be fair to their children, they must first change their minds. Both children are your children, and only one of their parents is * * *, which you can't refute. I often say this sentence: "Dabao is at ease, Bauer is free."
In life, no matter what happens, you can't have the idea that you are the boss and want to make way for your younger brother (sister). And clearly know that they are all your children, they are just children.
Second, take action on this. No matter whether two children are right or wrong, parents can't just reward one and punish one. Fair treatment requires consistent rewards and punishments with as few exceptions as possible.
Even if there are exceptions, parents should give corresponding reasons to convince their children. After all, only when children truly believe in you will they truly become friends with you.
Pillow parenting information:
Finally, "Mom, can you treat everyone equally?" I believe this is the voice of many children with younger brothers (sisters). Here, I hope parents can treat their children equally and don't have so-called "preference". Or, you can learn how other parents treat their children and what they get, just like those good children in Bandura's experiment. When you really treat children fairly, you will find that all children are equally lovely and are your "heart meat".