It is a method of raising children that is neither punitive nor arrogant. It can also be called family education system. Based on respect and cooperation, it advocates parents to cultivate their children's self-confidence, self-discipline, cooperation, sense of responsibility, autonomy and problem-solving ability, and helps children gain a sense of belonging and value in this process.
The "positive discipline" family education system originated in the United States, and has been practiced there for more than 40 years, helping countless families and children to achieve happiness and growth. It is based on the Austrian psychologist Alfred? Adler and Rudolf? Drex's theory of "individual psychology" is based on Jane? Nelson and Lynn? Dr Lott and other educational experts summarized and improved it.
The benefits of positive discipline
1) can help children build a sense of belonging and make them realize the value of their existence.
2) Be able to help children build mutual respect and responsibility in a charitable and firm way.
3) It can have a long-term effect on the formation of children's good character (from the perspective of children's thoughts, feelings and decision-making power, their future survival in society)
4) Can teach children important social and life skills (mutual respect, consideration for others, problem solving, getting along with family members, and cooperating with others after entering school and society).
5) Help children discover and understand their potential (encourage children to think independently and manage themselves).
Recent psychological research shows that children have established contact with the environment since birth. Children who can establish good relationships with their families, schools and communities will be much healthier, happier and more successful than other children. If children want to succeed and contribute to the community, they should learn important social and life skills.
The concept of positive discipline
1) Mutual respect: Adults show dignity through self-discipline and self-esteem, and show love by respecting children's needs.
2) Discover the thoughts behind the behavior: help change the behavior of children by identifying the thoughts behind their behavior.
3) Effective communication and problem-solving skills: Help children to build relationships.
4) There should be "teaching" rather than "management" in discipline: helping children to establish a self-reliant character.
5) Focus on solving rather than punishing: help children build the ability to solve problems.
6) Encourage more and praise less: encourage the efforts and progress of the process, and praise only focuses on the successful results. Help children build a confident personality.
Positive discipline is based on the philosophy of alfred adler and rudolf dreikurs. These psychiatrists understand the importance of maintaining dignity and respecting everyone-including children.
Positive discipline is based on the philosophical wisdom of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Drake. Both psychiatrists know how important it is to maintain respect and dignity for everyone, including children.
All positive discipline books and workshops provide non-punitive methods for parents, teachers and other leaders to encourage and enhance the abilities of children and adults and help them develop valuable social and life skills. These methods are based on:
All positive discipline books and workshops provide non-punitive methods for parents, teachers and other leaders to encourage and enhance the abilities of children and adults and help them develop valuable social and life skills. These methods are based on:
Make sure that the message of love and respect is delivered. Ensure the message of love and respect (pre-correction connection).
While providing a good and firm foundation.
Based on kindness and firmness.
See mistakes as an excellent opportunity to learn.
Treat mistakes as excellent learning opportunities.
Help children explore the consequences of their choices (through curiosity questions), instead of imposing the consequences (undisguised punishment) on them and making them pay for their mistakes.
Help children explore the consequences of their own choices (through curious questions) rather than imposed consequences (punishment for bad disguise), and let children pay for their mistakes.
Focus on solutions. Involve children so that they have the ownership and motivation to follow the guidelines they helped develop (and learn important life skills in the process). ) Examples include:
Focus on solutions. Involve children so that they have the autonomy and motivation to follow the guiding principles they helped create. In this process, you can learn important life skills.
Invite children to help create daily charts (morning, bedtime, work, etc.). )
Invite children to help create a routine list (morning, bedtime, homework, etc.). )
Family meetings and/or class meetings teach problem-solving skills, communication skills and many other important life skills.
Family meetings and/or class meetings teach problem solving and many other important life skills.
Invite children to help create a "wheel of choice", which includes solutions to many typical conflicts. Then, children can "choose" the most helpful solution for them.
Invite children to help create a "choice wheel", which contains many typical conflict solutions. Then, children can "choose" the method that is most helpful to them.
Eliminate negative rest time and invite children to help create a "positive rest time" area so that they can "choose" when it will help to relax. This self-comforting skill will benefit many adults. )
Eliminate negative pauses and invite children to help build a "positive pause zone" so that they can "choose" what is a good time to help calm their emotions. A self-soothing skill, which will also benefit many adults.
Entering the Children's World —— Understanding that a "misbehaving child" is a "depressed" child and the importance of dealing with the "belief" behind the behavior.
Go into the world of children-understand that a "misbehaving child" is a child who has lost confidence, and understand the importance of dealing with the "faith" behind behavior.
Know your "trump card" (personality style) and what it can get from children and others.
Know your "card" (life attitude orientation) and what it will trigger from children and others.
love and respect each other
More respect for children's ideas
Treat children in many, many ways and give them dignity and respect.
Five standards of positive discipline
Five standards of positive discipline:
1) Help children feel connected? (Ownership and Significance)
Help children feel connected, belonging and self-worth?
2) Is it respected and encouraged? (Kind and firm at the same time)
Is it respect and encouragement for children? (Do kindness and firmness go hand in hand?)
3) Is it effective for a long time? Punishment is effective in the short term, but it will have negative long-term results. )
Is it effective for a long time? Punishment is effective in the short term, but it has long-term negative effects.
4) Teach valuable social and life skills and cultivate a good personality?
Whether to teach children valuable social skills and life skills and cultivate their good character?
5) Invite children to discover their abilities? (Encourage the constructive use of personal power and autonomy)
Are children invited to discover their abilities? (Encourage the constructive use of individual rights and autonomy)
Several important concepts of positive discipline;
1) Courage: (Latin means "heart" = ") Jody Maiviti (M.D.) Sometimes it may be easier to take a step in a useless direction, and at this time, if you have the courage to take a step in a really beneficial direction, you can become the real you. Usually, this step is very small.
2) Encouragement: (Jody McVittie, MD) Create space to help others take a step towards becoming their best self.
3) Adaptability: Know that at least one person believes me.
4) Description: "I noticed ..." (You hold it carefully. )
5) Thank you: "Thank you ..." (You help us cook tonight. )
6) Authorization: "I am confident ... I believe ... I believe ..." (I believe you will understand. )
Imperfect courage:
What is a mistake? What makes it a big mistake or a small mistake? How different will life be when we truly understand that mistakes are opportunities for learning? What kind of person will you become if you don't learn from your mistakes?
Kindness and firmness go hand in hand: kindness is respect for the dignity of others; Firmness is the need to respect a person's dignity and situation.
Recover from mistakes (repair is the key! ): (Jody McVittie, MD, jane nelsen, Ph.D. in Education, author of Positive Discipline)
Integration: let yourself calm down and find your rational self before you start-repair.
Admit:-Oh, I made a mistake.
Make-up:-Sorry ...
Solve (re-solve):-In the future, I will ... (Commitment to change)
The result of punishment: (jane nelsen, doctor of education, positive discipline)
Disgust: "This is unfair. I don't believe in adults. "
Revenge: "They have won now, but I want revenge."
Rebellion: "I will do the opposite and prove that I didn't do it their way."
Escape: "escape from others:-I won't be caught next time" escape from myself: "I am a bad person."
The result of the reward:
Teach children to be self-centered: "What can I get from it?" Not "What can I contribute?"
Rely on others' approval rather than children's evaluation of their own efforts.
Highlight the importance of rewards and reduce the value of the task or action itself.
Conditional: Rewards are based on successful results, not hard work.
Solution: Relevant, respectful, reasonable and beneficial.
"Where did we get this crazy idea? In order to make children do better, we must first make them feel worse? " Children behave better when they feel good (so do we adults! Jane nelsen, Ph.D. in Education.
"A child who misbehaves is a child who loses confidence." Rudolph Drex, MD
"To the world, you are just one person; But for someone, you are the world. " Heather cortes