Secret 1: read the baby's heart.
Parent A: One weekend, I took my daughter shopping. When she was in high spirits, her daughter was upset and lost her temper. I coaxed and persuaded, but it didn't work. I am anxious, ready to pick up the child and go out. At the moment I crouched down, I suddenly realized that when I crouched down, from the child's point of view, I couldn't see colorful goods, but people's legs hanging in the air! No wonder the child lost his temper willfully, which turned out to be different from my mood. I suddenly realized that sometimes children lose their temper willfully and have his reasons. We need to understand children, read their hearts and look at problems from their perspective.
Psychological counselor's comment: children are willful and disobedient, and they don't accept the truth told by adults, often because adults don't understand the "villain" heart. If we look at the world from the standpoint of children and feel life with children's hearts, children's hearts will resonate with us. Once we know the children's mind, we will have more success and fewer mistakes in disciplining children.
Tip 2: Don't give your baby a chance to bully his parents.
Parent B: I have read the story of the former Soviet hero Shula when he was a child. Once he insisted on eating noodle soup before and after meals, but his parents not only disagreed, but also did not coax him, leaving Shula alone in the room. After crying for a while, he didn't respond, so he got bored and played with wooden blocks. In the future, every time Shula cries willfully, mom and dad will not accommodate him, nor will they be an "audience" for him, and then reason with him afterwards. In this way, Shula's willful crying was quickly cured. We treat our children like this, without the troubles of children's willfulness. So my personal experience is that it's best to be tough from the beginning, don't indulge the children, and plan ahead like Shula's parents.
Psychological counselor's comment: This parent's mood is reasonable. As a personality characteristic, willfulness has great acquired factors. Do you listen when the child cries? When children master the "magic weapon" that threatens adults by willful crying, it will be difficult to solve it if it goes on with malignant development. Children will seize opportunities very keenly, learn to influence their parents, and even threaten their parents. Therefore, we must pay attention to the attitude and way of treating children from a very young age, and don't give children the opportunity to learn to bully their parents willfully.
Tip 3: Meet your baby's reasonable needs in a reasonable way.
Parent C: In my opinion, meeting children's reasonable requirements in time is also a way to prevent children from being willful. For example, the child hasn't seen you for a day and wants to make out with you and let you tell a story or something. This is a reasonable request. Why do you have to wait for him to cry and get angry before satisfying him? I adhered to this principle when my children first entered kindergarten. When I send the child away, I will hold the child in my arms, give him a hug and kiss to meet his family and panel feeling needs, and then I will never give in again. Children can always run into kindergarten happily, and they have never been willful because they don't want to leave their mothers.
Psychological counselor's comment: Yes, children's willfulness is often to meet certain needs. It is wise to meet the reasonable needs of children in a reasonable way; It is the stupidest thing to wait until the child loses his temper. Of course, to meet children's needs, we must pay attention to conditions. For those needs that cannot or should not be met, we must adhere to principles and never compromise.
Tip 4: Give your baby the opportunity to create a collective life.
Parent D: On one occasion, my children were playing the automatic tank they just bought outside, and several children in the neighborhood wanted to exchange games with them. The child didn't want to, so we urged him to play with him for a while, but he just wouldn't listen and made a scene with us. The other children continued to play their games and were very happy. My children stopped making noise and looked at them quietly. Finally, I had to "make peace", exchange toys and play with you. Therefore, I think it is best to let children play with their peers to prevent them from being willful. Since then, I have thought of many ways to create opportunities for children to participate in group activities.
Psychological counselor's comment: willfulness is the product of egoism, and collective activities are the best way to get rid of egoism. Because collective activities have their own norms, observing collective norms is the premise of participating in collective activities. And children's nature is that they don't like loneliness, so it is indeed a far-sighted countermeasure to let children find partners and groups.
Tip 5: When the baby is willful, ignore him.
Parent E: When my child was two years old, he was often willful. I reprimanded him as if I praised him. The more I reprimanded him, the more energetic he became. One day, he was willful and disorderly, and I happened to be busy with something and didn't care about him at all. A few minutes later, when I was busy, the children were already playing quietly beside me. This accidental discovery, let me find a secret to deal with children's willfulness, that is, sometimes children lose their temper, naughty, I ignore, and soon calm down.
Psychological counselor's comments: Children have a strong desire to attract adults' attention. Sometimes children fool around, not so much because they are willful as to attract the attention of adults. At this time, once the child is criticized and reprimanded, it just satisfies the child's desire to be concerned, so the child learns to attract the attention of adults with willfulness. Therefore, ignoring it is a desirable countermeasure. Pay attention to children when they stop willful behavior. In this way, a temporary neural connection is established between children's need to attract adults' attention and their good behavior, thus inhibiting their willful behavior.
Tip 6: Transfer your baby's attention in time.
Parent F: Children's attention is easily attracted to other aspects, so we seize the opportunity to avoid children's willfulness by diverting attention. For example, when a child cries willfully, I suddenly come up with a novel and talk to myself; "alas! This thing is really strange. " Or pretend to be surprised and say, "Look! What's in that big car on the street? " Or, "Go, go outside." Times have changed and children will forget what just happened.
Psychological counselor's comment: people's mentality is determined by attention. When their attention is diverted, their mentality will also change. Therefore, diverting attention is a feasible way to correct children's waywardness. Try every means to divert the child's attention. Without persuasion, it will dilute the child's strength and eliminate the wayward problem unconsciously.
How to treat a child's stubborn temper, the most important thing is that you should reason with your child.
How do stubborn children educate stubborn children? Generally speaking, he has a strong self-esteem and likes to be appreciated by others. He cannot be criticized by others. Even if you criticize, you have to find a step for him. Otherwise, adults can't stop them, and children don't listen to adults, and often go against you. After that, the child's temper will become more and more stubborn and will alienate each other. No matter how old or young the child is, never tell the child's shortcomings in front of others, otherwise, it will not only help the child correct the shortcomings, but also play a strengthening role. I have met many parents who often praise their children's existing surprises in front of me, but never forget to criticize their children's shortcomings. It's really good to praise your children in public. You should appreciate your children. However, if you expose your shortcomings, adults will often inadvertently imply that children have shortcomings in this area in front of everyone. No matter a gentle child or a stubborn child, there will be a sense of shame, and in serious cases, there will be resistance in the deep heart. Over time, the child's stubbornness will be strengthened. Be good at observing, try to figure out the child's psychology and help correct it. Children have their own ideas and opinions. Adults should not impose their views on children. They can discuss with them. For example, a child stands barefoot under the bed in order to make his mother pay attention to her, kiss her and put her to bed. At this time, the mother was indifferent and ordered her to go to bed, deliberately asking her if she was cold. Your child stands on the bed and pulls down the quilt of an adult to protest: of course it's cold! Mom, try not to be covered. As a result, mom hit her, dad yelled at her, and the baby was wronged to death. That night, the baby must have had nightmares! Children should not be allowed to do whatever they want. Sometimes, some questions should be reasoned with her first. If not, don't talk to her. Don't be soft-hearted Once you are soft-hearted, you will give up all your efforts and give up halfway, making your child more willful. You must stick to the principled questions and let her know that some questions are just tantrums, and it is useless to lose your temper.
How to educate a stubborn child? If you are right, you should insist that she know the truth and what happened at that time. Don't keep changing the subject, it will make her think you are shrinking. You should just tell her that it's wrong and shouldn't be. It may be difficult for the first time, but when you do it for the first time, the reason behind it is clear.
How to treat children losing their temper? Xu Hui, an associate professor in the Department of Psychology, School of Education, Zhengzhou University, said that after entering the first rebellious period at the age of two or three, children's self-awareness began to sprout and strengthen, and discontent often appeared. At this time, occasionally losing your temper is an extremely natural way of expressing your emotions. Parents should allow their children to lose their temper. Try the "fading method" first [Scene 1] In the toy counter of the shopping mall, he refused to let go, but when he saw that his mother still didn't want to buy it, he dispersed and cried. Second, don't ask the children too much] Scene 2 Get up in the morning, obviously getting ready to get dressed. Mingming's mother came to help him get dressed without asking why. He insisted on unbuttoning and putting it back on himself. But Mingming's mother refused for fear of wasting time, and Mingming lost her temper. Experts suggest that two or three-year-old children have independent desires, especially in behavior. They like to do things by themselves and often use "no" to express their independence. If they are hindered by their parents or limited ability, they will not only get angry and lose their temper, but also dampen their budding enthusiasm. In order to avoid the above situation as much as possible, on the one hand, parents should not restrict their children's behavior too much, and should not put forward too many regulations and requirements for their children, so as to maintain their gradually developing sense of independence; On the other hand, if the child loses his temper because of his limited ability and can't do it well, parents should encourage and guide him more, give him a demonstration when necessary, and then let him do it again by himself, and affirm and reward him in time. [Scene 3] Recently, a 2-and-a-half-year-old swimmer is particularly prone to lose his temper. When playing with children, she will grab other people's things if she doesn't give them to her, but she won't lend them to other children to play with. If someone takes it away by force, she will make a scene. Experts suggest that one of the characteristics of infants' psychological activities is the obvious "self-centeredness" phenomenon. In many processes, children tend to know external things or understand the rules of the game, and cannot stand in the position of others. Parents may wish to tell their children clearly that I am very happy when you do this, and I am very angry when you do that, and explain clearly why this kind of emotion occurs.
There are many reasons for how to treat children who are angry. If they are not feeling well, it is easier to deal with them. If they form a wayward habit, they should pay attention. Willfulness is a reflection of a common abnormal psychological state of children. It is also a means for them to blackmail their parents and meet their own demands. For children, willfulness is a reward based on the compromise of parents' behavior towards children. Parents' lack of effective education and correction for wayward children will make their wayward development uncontrollable and the consequences will be unimaginable. So, how to correct the child's waywardness? (1) Dig deep into the root causes and find out the reasons. It is the key to correct the wayward children's behavior and analyze their wayward psychology. Children's waywardness is caused by a variety of psychology. Some are to meet some material needs, some are to be spoiled by parents, some are to show their strength, some are to get recognition from others, and so on. In short, all kinds of psychological needs are the reasons for willful behavior. (2) Find out the reasons and implement education. As parents, it is necessary to admit that some requirements of children are reasonable. Also tell them that some requirements are not allowed by family and social conditions. Let children know their own material requirements, parents' doting, winning in the competition, and others' recognition can not be solved by willfulness. We must rely on our own efforts and cooperation with others. The correction of children's wayward behavior should pay attention to the methods of children's psychological laws. 1, psychological transfer method can transfer a child's excitement when he is willful. Let the children do something else. Such as; Tell stories, jokes, etc. So that the willful excitement can be diluted. For example, children shopping in the mall, see the remote control car, insist on buying, but there are similar toys at home. You can say, "There are more beautiful ones over there. Let's go and have a look. " Draw the children away first, and then educate them patiently. On the contrary, if parents scolded their children loudly at that time, it would not only have no good effect, but also cause their children to cry loudly, and finally parents had to compromise. 2, the temporary avoidance method allows children to calm down and think, so that they lose the object of human nature release. After calming down, education, explaining the reasons and finding out the problems will make children's waywardness learn some lessons. 3, contrast induction method wayward children are competitive and have strong self-esteem, and contrast induction method can be used. The so-called "comparative induction method" is to compare the deeds or behaviors of heroes with prophets and philosophers, thus stimulating children's self-esteem and competitiveness, and thus inducing children to actively change their wayward behavior. For example, children are very afraid of injections. Before the injection, both parents and children said "it would be nice to have an injection", but the child was still unwilling to have an injection. I will also willfully say, "I won't have an injection." Then parents can say in another way: "Didn't you say you should be as brave as an uncle of the People's Liberation Army? I don't think you are as brave as your PLA uncle! " In order to induce and resolve children's willfulness. (3) Don't abuse or condone wayward children's behavior correction, and don't abuse or condone endlessly. These two extreme practices are not helpful to correct willful behavior. American psychologist William Koko's research shows that children's willfulness is a manifestation of psychological needs. So remind all parents in the world that although willfulness is a bad behavior, don't ignore the psychological needs of children.
How to treat a grumpy wife Nowadays, women's tempers have been ignited. As a husband, you must have suffered a lot. I don't think we should get involved blindly, otherwise her hot temper will be encouraged for a long time, but you can't play hardball. Therefore, the safest way for men to treat women is to "coax" and coquetry. Of course, you must put down your airs, think about what she thinks, and make the problem clear from her point of view. The last thing you can say is, "Why are you so annoying?" Otherwise, she will be more popular. Make her happy at ordinary times, make her realize that your tolerance is to love her, make her stop being so paranoid and tell her what you really think. This is not good for her family, and she will definitely regret her irrationality afterwards, right? I wish you love each other!
How to treat the child's "stubbornness"? How old is the child? What school do you go to? Who is watching it at ordinary times? Kindergarten children should be encouraged and guided. When it comes to the principle of right and wrong, we must not be ambiguous, right and wrong, we must clarify the interests and consider the punishment method without affecting the parent-child relationship. Older children should look at his temper with a developmental eye. If he is arrogant and angry, don't let him. ...
How do preschool teachers treat children who love to lose their temper when they were young? If you want to know how to treat them, you must do a good job of analysis and investigation. The child's behavior is related to the influence of his parents. Maybe children are spoiled at home, so they have to do everything by themselves. When you arrive at kindergarten, you should tell him that this is a public place, so you should get into the habit of listening and watching more, and don't get angry easily, otherwise it will be very bad for you. Maybe this child is very strong. His expression to you is not recognized by you, and he gets angry when he is anxious ... In this case, you don't have to blame the child. Tell him everyone makes mistakes. If you really don't understand the child, you can ask him to say it again or smile to calm the child's mood and let him take his time. Adults are difficult to control when they are angry, let alone children. But after all, people should cultivate their own stable mentality from an early age, learn to restrain themselves and manage their emotions, and the same should be true for children. Only by setting an example can children become confident, strong and stand the test. When children are young, they can be transformed through targeted education and enlightenment.
How to treat a grumpy person? Bad temper than him, ignore him ~ choose one of the two.