This kind of psychology is manifested in the lack of correct understanding of oneself, lack of self-confidence in communication (the main factor), lack of courage in doing things, timidity, conformity, lack of opinion, and thinking that you are not good when you encounter something wrong. This caused them to lose the courage and confidence to communicate.
Inferiority is a kind of negative self-evaluation or self-cognition, and inferiority is a negative emotion in which an individual has a low evaluation of his own ability and quality. The generation of inferiority complex is often not a difference in understanding, but a difference in feeling. Its root is that people don't like to measure themselves by realistic standards or scales, but believe or assume that they should reach certain standards or scales. Such as "I should be like this" and "I should be like someone". Most of this pursuit is divorced from reality, which will only breed more troubles and inferiority, and make you more depressed and self-blaming. Inferiority is the enemy of success in life. Since ancient times, many people have been deeply troubled by inferiority complex, and many people have been looking for ways to overcome inferiority complex. The following ways and means are quite operational, helping people get rid of inferiority and move towards self-confidence.
Overcome inferiority complex with psychological compensation.
Psychological compensation is a psychological adaptation mechanism. Individuals will always have some deviations in the process of adapting to society, so as to get compensation. Psychologically speaking, this kind of compensation is actually a kind of "displacement", that is, overcoming one's physical defects or psychological inferiority, developing one's other strengths and advantages, and catching up with or surpassing others' psychological adaptation mechanism. It is precisely because of this psychological mechanism that inferiority has become the driving force for many successful people to succeed and the "turbocharging" for them to surpass themselves. The bigger the "physical defects", the more.
Lincoln, the American president who liberated slaves, was not only an illegitimate child, but also ugly and lacking in manners. He is very sensitive to these defects. In order to make up for these defects, he tried to draw strength from education and study hard to overcome his early lack of knowledge and ignorance He studies in front of candlelight, light and water. Although his eyes are sinking deeper and deeper, the nutrition of knowledge fully makes up for his own defects. He finally got rid of his inferiority complex and became an outstanding American president. Beethoven was deaf since childhood, but he overcame difficulties to write the beautiful ninth symphony. His famous saying-"Help yourself!" "Become the motto of many people who strive for self-improvement.
Under the effect of psychological compensation, inferiority has the resilience to make people move forward. Because of inferiority, people will clearly and even excessively realize their own shortcomings, and urge themselves to study the strengths of others and make up for their own shortcomings, thus sharpening their own character, and a strong character is the psychological basis for success.
Inferiority can promote people to success. Humanist Witt Cooper pointed out that there is a spirituality in everyone's heart, and with this spirituality, people can achieve many great things. This spirituality is a power hidden in everyone's heart, that is, the power to maintain individuality and resist foreign aggression. It is the "dignity" and "personality" of people. In order to maintain their dignity and personality, people ask themselves to overcome inferiority and self-defeating. Therefore, embarrassing factors can often become a springboard for developing themselves. A person's true value and morality depend on whether he can transcend the trap set by himself, and only we can really save us. The so-called "God helps those who can save themselves".
The strong are not born, and the strong are not without weaknesses. The strong man becomes stronger because he is good at overcoming his weaknesses. When Pele, the first generation soccer king, first arrived at the most famous Santos football team in Brazil, he was so nervous that he stayed up all night for fear that the big stars would look down on him. He is a top player on the court, but he has no reason to doubt himself and is afraid of others. Later, he tried to forget himself on the court, concentrate on playing football and keep a calm mind. Since then, he has scored more than 1000 goals with unstoppable momentum. Bailey's process of overcoming inferiority tells us: Don't doubt yourself and belittle yourself, as long as you go forward bravely and put it into action, you will succeed. Over time, it will be freed from tension, fear and inferiority. Therefore, unwilling to feel inferior, trying to be strong and making positive compensation are good medicines for treating inferiority.
Psychological compensation is a mechanism to turn defeat into victory. If used properly, it will help to expand the realm of life. But we should pay attention to two points: first, don't aim too high and pursue impossible compensation goals; Second, don't be driven by anger. Only positive psychological compensation can motivate yourself to achieve higher goals in life.
Optimistic about failure
In the process of self-compensation, we should also face failure correctly. There are few smooth sailing and many twists and turns on the road of life. Success is made up of countless failures. As Walter, the founder of the American General Electric Company, said, "The road to success is to double the number of failures." But failure is a "negative stimulus" for people after all, which always leads to unhappiness, depression and inferiority. So, how to face it? How to free yourself? Become the key to overcome inferiority and move towards self-confidence.
In the face of setbacks and failures, only an optimistic and positive attitude is the right choice. First, perseverance, not to give up pursuit because of setbacks; Second, pay attention to adjusting and reducing the original "goal" that is divorced from reality and change the strategy in time; Third, motivate yourself with "partial success"; Fourth, adopt self-psychological adjustment methods to improve psychological endurance.
If you don't want to be a "frequent loser", you must be good at digging and using your own "resources". Although sometimes individuals cannot change the "arrangement" of the "environment", no one can deprive them of their rights as "self-masters". It should be said that the present society has greatly increased the development opportunities in this area. As long as you dare to try and work hard, you are sure to make a difference. Qu Yuan's exile is Li Sao, and Sima Qian's imprisonment is a historical record, because they are not discouraged, not inferior and have perseverance at any time! With this, we will get rid of the shackles of difficulties and move towards the glory of life.
In addition, as modern people, we should be prepared for failure. The world is full of opportunities for success and possibilities for failure. Therefore, we should constantly improve our ability to cope with setbacks and interference, adjust ourselves, enhance our social adaptability, and firmly believe that failure is the mother of success. If we can "comprehend" after every failure and regard every failure as a prelude to success, then we can turn negative into positive and inferiority into self-confidence.
Build self-confidence with practical actions
To overcome fear and inferiority, you can't talk, you must put it into practice and see action. The quickest and most effective way to build self-confidence is to do what you are afraid of until you succeed. The specific method is as follows:
1. Stand out and sit in the front row.
In various parties and classes, the back seats are always filled first. Most people who occupy the back seat hope that they will not be "too conspicuous". And the reason why they are afraid of being noticed is their lack of self-confidence.
Sitting in the front can build confidence. Because you must have enough courage and courage to be the first person, to be the first person, and to put yourself in the public eye. Over time, this behavior has become a habit, and inferiority has become self-confidence in a subtle way. In addition, sitting in a conspicuous position will enlarge your proportion in the vision of leaders and teachers, enhance the frequency of repetition and strengthen yourself. Try to take this as a rule and try to sit forward from now on. Although sitting in the front will be more conspicuous, remember that everything that succeeds is conspicuous.
2. Open your eyes and face others squarely.
The eyes are the windows to the soul. A person's eyes can reflect personality, reveal emotions and convey subtle information. Afraid to face others means inferiority, timidity and fear; Avoiding other people's eyes reflects a dark and open mind. Facing others squarely means telling them: "I am honest and aboveboard;" I respect you very much and like you very much. "So, facing others squarely is the embodiment of positive attitude, the symbol of self-confidence and the display of personal charm.
3. Hold your head high and walk briskly
Many psychologists believe that people's walking posture and pace have a certain relationship with their psychological state. Lazy posture and slow pace are manifestations of depression, and they are a reflection of their unhappy feelings towards themselves, their work and others. If you observe carefully, you will find that the movement of the body is the result of mental activity. Those who are hit and rejected are dragging their feet and lack self-confidence. Conversely, by changing the posture and speed of walking, it helps to adjust the mood. To show extraordinary confidence, you must walk faster than the average person. Speeding up the pace is like telling the world: "I'm going to an important place and doing a very important thing." A brisk and agile pace and high posture will bring people a clear state of mind, make people feel inferior and escape, and breed self-confidence.
4. Practice speaking in public
It takes great courage to speak in public, which is an important way to cultivate and exercise self-confidence. Around us, there are many people with sharp thinking and high talent, but they can't play their strengths to participate in the discussion. It is not that they don't want to participate, but that they lack confidence.
In public, taciturn people think, "My opinion may be worthless. If I say it, others may feel silly. I'd better say nothing. Besides, others may know more than me, and I don't want them to know that I am so ignorant. " These people often make a vague promise to themselves: "wait for another time." But they know very well that they can't keep this promise. Every time he is silent, he is poisoned by his lack of confidence again, and he will lose confidence more and more.
On the positive side, speaking as much as possible will increase your confidence. No matter what meeting you attend, take the initiative to speak every time. Many people who were originally slow or stuttered became confident by practicing public speaking, such as Bernard Shaw, tanaka kakuei and Demosthenes. Therefore, public speaking is a "vitamin" of self-confidence.
5. Learn to smile
Most people know that laughter can give people confidence and is a good medicine to cure the lack of confidence. But there are still many people who don't believe this, because they never try to smile when they are afraid.
Real laughter can not only cure one's bad mood, but also immediately dissolve the hostility of others. If you smile at a Zhan Yan person sincerely, he will have a good impression on you, which is enough to make you confident. As a poem says: "Smile is the rest of the tired, the day of the depressed, the sunshine of the sad, and it is the best nutrition of nature."
What is pessimism? Psychologically, it is generally believed that pessimism is a kind of anxiety caused by self-feeling imbalance, which is manifested in psychological self-blame, insecurity and negative thinking about expectations (that is, always thinking about the worst in the future). It is introspective and belongs to the spiritual level, but it can directly affect the organ level, showing mania, depression, rapid heartbeat, asthma or neurasthenia, trance and so on. Moreover, at the group level, pessimism is very contagious-especially in relatively small groups, it will spread rapidly-much faster than the flu. Generally speaking, individuals who are easy to be pessimistic have a certain * * * nature, which is characterized by relatively weak will and timidity. But in fact, such individuals are in low-level emotional activities for a long time because of their long-term unsatisfied adaptation, that is to say, they are more numb, and most of them will not have an excessive impact on health and life because of pessimism. However, some individuals, whose inner essence is a certain sense of willpower and competition, have relatively sharp thinking and certain A-type personality characteristics, will have a lot of negative thinking between treating the status quo and self-imbalance, such as excessive self-blame, not only for their own "mistakes", but also for others' mistakes, which they think are related to themselves, so they need to be responsible, and they will fall into this self-blame thinking for a long time. When discussing the emergence of a class of problems, we should first understand the mechanism of such problems: we should believe that people's thinking activities are not that complicated, in fact, most people's thinking patterns can be summarized into several forms. A common one is self-circulating amplification (friends who have studied electrotechnics can understand it as self-excited oscillation). This is the most common introverted individual. The thinking characteristic of introverted individuals is self-directionality. The psychological capacity of a closed heart is relatively limited, and its vision is also relatively limited. Once a certain negative thinking is formed, it may linger in your mind for a long time, and it will be amplified through every thinking cycle, eventually making a small matter look like a big mistake. This is how pessimism is generated most of the time. The so-called extreme pessimists are more competitive at heart and have more intense conflicts with pessimism under the pressure of introversion. Such people are "single-minded" in popular words, that is, they will go far along a mode of thinking. For example, if they are afraid of going on a business trip, they will force themselves to focus on one point abnormally, but they often make mistakes because of the collapse of attention, thus falling into deeper self-blame; Interpersonal relationships are often trapped in fear, blaming themselves for mistakes that are not their own, or even things that have nothing to do with themselves. They are sincere and scary. In fact, everyone has pessimism, which is determined by the relativity of things-assuming there is no pessimism, how can there be optimism? Everyone's mood is bound to fluctuate, otherwise it will be a stagnant machine. The key is how to treat and use this fluctuation correctly. Normal people will think seriously after encountering setbacks or mistakes, but this kind of thinking is generally open-not only thinking inward about their own mistakes or defects, but also observing the environmental characteristics that cause problems. If the task is really arduous and the environment is sinister, or "it is not that our army is incompetent, but that the * * * army is too cunning. . . "Then after summing up, you will form a certain self-judgment, which is equivalent to writing a report yourself. Through this form, you can put the past aside and let yourself look forward forever, that is, look at yourself and your life with a pragmatic development perspective, which is what we often call "positive life". And unhealthy psychology, excessive pessimists, when "looking forward", are more not observing, but "copying"-paving the way forward with the feelings that the past self already has and formed-you can even think that this is a manifestation of rich imagination, so there are often more pessimists in high IQ people-the brains of smart people run faster and it is easier to amplify the false consciousness of the past self. We know that many people who embark on the road of crime have a mentality that others will not be as smart as me, so what I do will not be discovered by others. Facts have proved that this is often wrong-who can be much more stupid than who? Another kind of people, especially pessimists with high IQ, tend to form an opposite but similar thinking mode-others are smarter than themselves, or at least as smart as themselves! The conclusion drawn from this is that others can do what I can, so it makes no difference whether I go or not. If I want to do something, I have to do something outstanding, and I have fallen into years of thinking and introspection. From this, we should understand that the core of pessimism or optimism lies in observing the perspective of life, so how to adjust one's perspective, or how to better have this ability of self-adjustment, I will discuss it further with you next time.