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Being hacked by your girlfriend is the worst result? That's not true. If you are hacked, you will be at a loss and don't know what to do. This is the worst result. In the consultation case that Deer Emotional Counselor took over, statistical research found that the following questions are common mistakes made by many male counseling users, and they are also the main reasons why many couples break up.
The value of the problem is unbalanced, the framework is too low, and there are too many knees.
Deer emotional counselors found that many male counselors have successful careers, but when faced with the objects they like very much, they just pay blindly, resulting in small contradictions. Only apologies and concessions can be forgiven, resulting in no framework of their own.
In the opinion of deer emotional counselor, if a man doesn't have his own framework, he will lose his dignity, which is why girls will say to such a man: You are too naive.
I don't understand the psychology of girls and women.
Many male counselors don't know how to communicate correctly in time after having small conflicts or even quarrels with their girlfriends. What is communication? It means to express your own views, but at the same time, you should understand each other's views. Generally speaking, male communication is to express one's own views without accommodating the other's views. After a long time, girls will feel that they don't have the same topic as you, and some ideas and needs in their hearts can't be met. The demand mentioned here is not a gift or a promise, but an understanding of a woman's inner needs. What is inner need? It was the girl who said I was hungry. In fact, it's not that you ask a girl to remember to eat, but that she can cook a lovely lunch by herself when she is free.
This problem lacks trust.
The more you give, the less you want to lose. Deer emotional counselor found that many male users, driven by curiosity, could not help but peek at each other's privacy. This makes girls feel that they are being watched. This is not love, this is controlling others. The more you want to control others, then others must not want to be controlled. After a long time, girls have a sense of oppression and pressure. The more you don't want me to do something, the more I want to do it.
Problems, wrong retention methods, resulting in power failure.
After these male users and girls have conflicts, they also try to retain each other in various ways, and even take some drastic measures. For example, in the case of a deer emotional counselor, it is found that some men bow their heads, cut their wrists, buy expensive gifts and so on in order to keep each other. Doing so will only make the other person feel more bored and leave you faster.
In the face of these complicated and changeable emotional recovery cases, the deer emotional counselor will make a concrete analysis of both sides, instead of copying the previous successful cases. But at the same time, we will sort out some principled recovery ideas from many cases we have helped to guide the implementation of specific emotional recovery programs. Generally speaking, the six steps summarized by the deer emotional counselor can be used as the guiding principle to save love.
The first step is to adjust the mentality and face up to the fact of breaking up.
Deer emotional counselors will first let students adjust their mentality, reduce their sense of demand for goals, and get out of the predicament of unbalanced mentality. Psychological counselors can understand men's negative emotions at this moment.
But only by ensuring that men can calm their emotions can they face up to their problems.
Step 2: Change yourself.
While stabilizing their mentality, male users also give themselves an opportunity to detour and buffer, so as to regain themselves and find or cultivate male attraction. Deer Emotional Counselor will ask our male users to focus on their work, actively participate in outdoor activities, and show these positive images to prepare for the next step of restoring contact.
Step 3: Eliminate contradictions, break the deadlock and create opportunities to add contact information.
After "losing contact" for a week or two, the Deer Emotional Counselor will ask male users to carefully and informally conceive an apology message to find the reason and fulcrum for the apology. The purpose of leaving a message is to reduce the other party's disgust and vigilance, and to express their willingness to let go and ease the other party's embarrassment. So as to restore basic contact.
The fourth step is to enter the exploration stage and feel each other's emotions.
When men are liberated from the "black out" state, they can't help but want to take further action. However, according to a lot of experience, the deer emotional counselor must "stabilize" at this time and don't release his needs prematurely. It is suggested that men take more informal chats to test the woman's mind. Only when the interaction window between them is obvious, it is suggested that men can make an invitation request.
Step 5: Arrange the meeting.
The invitation after the first breakup is very important. Be sure to plan the whole scene and process so that the woman can get used to you as a "familiar stranger". And pay attention to details, show your thoughtfulness, pay attention to the atmosphere of mediation, and make the whole occasion look very relaxed and natural. After this stage, there is only a reasonable chance to recover, and then we must be prepared for recovery.
Step 6: Rescue Action
After the first invitation was successful, the Deer Emotional Counseling Association suggested speeding up the dating frequency, speeding up the stretching of their relationship, showing ambiguity and intimacy in language, and gradually increasing some physical contact. If the woman doesn't have any antipathy and discomfort, she can take further action, so the redemption is basically successful.
Deer emotional counselors have helped tens of thousands of users successfully save their love and marriage. In Deer Emotion APP and service platform, more than 3,000 high-quality licensed psychological or emotional counselors have settled in, with more than 1.2 million registered users, of which nearly one million users have obtained the consultation and assistance of Deer Emotional Counselors. Deer Emotion is committed to helping and solving users' emotional, psychological, marital and family problems, providing help and support for users who are emotionally troubled, improving their happiness in life and making love get what they want.
(Qin Xiaofei)
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