In the company, Xiao Q gets along well with everyone and has many friends in his life. But she always feels like an island. Whenever a friend gets too close, she doesn't know how to get along, and she pulls away unconsciously, and her friend slowly stops asking her out.
Obviously eager for friends, but afraid to get too close. Xiao Q often has a kind of worry. He always feels that if he is too close, his friends will not like his true self. She chatted with friends: "I don't have a deep relationship with anyone, and I don't have long-term friends." But each of you is very kind to me, but I really don't deserve it. "
A friend recommended Xiao Q to watch a movie, Mary and Max. Mary, 8, is a fat girl who lives in Melbourne, Australia. Her mother is an alcoholic and her father only likes to make bird specimens. Mary has no friends and is very lonely. One day, she accidentally tore off a corner of the post office phone book and wrote a letter to Mr. Marx.
Marx, 44, lives alone in new york. He often feels out of place with the world, so he is particularly lonely. They became pen pals, shared strange questions and supported each other, and were surprised to find that they also liked cartoons Noblitt and Chocolate.
This 20-year-long friendship experienced mutual proximity, mutual misunderstanding and separation, and it took many years to make up. Many years later, when Mary finally stood at Marx's door, Marx had quietly passed away.
But Mary found that Marx's home was full of correspondence with her. The happy or depressed things that Mary shared in the letter, the cartoon portrait she drew for him, and the handwriting soaked with tears. ...
In reality, like Mary and Max, we will meet lonely people who accompany you and become partners along the way. You will also experience the anxiety of being close to each other, the anxiety of separation, misunderstanding or doubt about the relationship.
If you also find it difficult to maintain a long-term relationship, it is often easy to stop the relationship at a certain stage, or you are eager to be close, but you are afraid that your true self will not be liked. These suggestions may help you-
0 1. Re-explore yourself like a teenager
Think about it: Who are you? What are your strengths and weaknesses? What do you like and hate? What do you want and need? Wait a minute. When you know yourself better, your inner "uncertainty" will decrease. This will also help you get to know others better and remove some obstacles to establishing relationships with others.
02. Replace "I accept" with "I share"
Try to do some altruistic things, such as helping friends within your ability and sharing what you are good at with those in need. This will give you a sense of satisfaction and gradually accumulate self-confidence. When you are no longer easily troubled by other people's opinions, you will accept your true self more frankly.
03. Try to communicate with friends regularly.
The relationship between people was originally based on "self-exposure" and mutual communication. You can try to meet your friends face to face regularly, or chat by phone or video, and provide emotional support for your friends at the same time. And you will also feel the security of being trusted and supported in mutual communication.
In addition, we have specially prepared an interactive live broadcast of the theme of "Simple Cheese Pie on Thursday" for you.
165438+1At 20:00 on Thursday, October 26th, simple psychological counselors, Mr. Sun Chan and Mr. Zhang Dahe, will take you to online interactive activities on interpersonal topics, learn about your interpersonal patterns, and talk to you at the same time: How to establish long-term interpersonal relationships?
You will participate in the live broadcast and experience:
1. Online experience activities: What is a long-term interpersonal relationship and how to establish it?
2. Consultant interactive sharing: Why do we need long-term interpersonal relationships and why are they difficult to establish?
3. Online Q&A of counselors: What are your myths about interpersonal relationships? The consultant will answer your questions in real time.
This live broadcast introduces consultants.
Specially invited psychological counselor: Sun Chan
A simple psychological platform is settled in the consultant.
Owen Yalong Psychotherapy College is a certified group counselor.
He used to be a full-time psychological consultant in the outpatient department of mental hospital of Hexi District Health Planning Commission in Tianjin.
Consulting experience 1300+ hours, group leadership experience 220+ hours. Good at mother-infant relationship, parent-child relationship, personal growth, emotional control, interpersonal treatment, college students' employment direction and career planning.
Invited psychological counselor: Zhang Dahe
A simple psychological platform is settled in the consultant.
Continuous training experience of AKRI Institute of Social Systems in the United States
Training of Owen Yalong Group Counseling Therapy System in Beijing Universities
Consulting experience 1500+ hours. Have more than ten years of experience in corporate executives. Good at personal growth, marriage and family, interpersonal communication, emotional distress, workplace-related topics and so on.