For twenty years, she didn't understand what she was thinking. Every time I think of Yang Guo, she always takes him as her adversary. In fact, deep down, her concern for him can't be described in words. But not only does Yang Guo have no idea what she is thinking, but so does she.
At this moment, when the hatred in her heart vanished, she suddenly realized that she cared about him so deeply. "Who was more worried about me when he rushed into the uneven lines to save Ziggy? I really can't say. " In the sumo competition, Guo Fu suddenly understood his thoughts: "He gave these three gifts to Mei on her birthday. Why should I hate them? " Why am I secretly angry when he exposed the plot and deadly trick and made Brother Qi the leader of the Beggars' Sect? Guo Fu Guo Fu, you are jealous of your own sister! He is so gentle and considerate to Xiang Mei, but he has never treated me like this. "
Thought of here, I can't help but get angry again. I glared at Yang Guo and Guo Xiang angrily, but suddenly I was shocked: "Why do I care about this?"? I am a married woman, and Ziggy is so kind to me! " Unconsciously, I let out a sigh. Although she has everything in her life, she has an unspeakable regret in her heart. She always has everything she wants, but she can't get what she really wants most. Therefore, in life, she often doesn't understand herself: Why is she so grumpy? Why do people get angry and upset for no reason when they are happy?
The above is excerpted from the thirty-ninth Xiangyang War in Jin Yong's Legend of the Condor Heroes.
Interpret the immersion and dynamics of inner activities for a period of time, and analyze emotions and defenses accurately and vividly. It is estimated that Jinye is a psychoanalyst and a master!
Both Guo Xiang and Guo Fu like Yang Guo. The way of love reflects the huge personality gap between the two.
Guo Xiang fell in love with middle-aged Yang Guo. At this time of Yang Guo, the glitz has gone, the atmosphere is restrained, the martial arts are superb, and the knowledge is extensive. There is no need to pretend to be mysterious, and there is no need to deliberately be chic. In addition to the flashy affection, there is no demeaning loneliness. For Guo Xiang, this is a new object that combines excellent men such as grandpa, father and brother-in-law from her life experience. She didn't defend her emotions, nor did she let them cross. She met Yang Guo and got along with him in the most humble way. Then, she knew that her mind could not hold others to Emei Mountain as a founder, thinking and blessing. Guo Xiang's emotion transcends his own limitations and reaches the realm of human love and care.
Guo Fu fell in love with young Yang Guo. At this time of Yang Guo, inferiority, wild, hatred, unruly (here's why Guo Fu fell in love with such Yang Guo). Then she began to defend herself, expressing herself in the form of anti-formation, exaggerating without discretion until Yang Guo's arm was cut off. She doesn't try to understand Yang Guo, or she simply lacks the ability to understand others. Her affection for Yang Guo is a little girl's narcissistic need (you should spoil me because it shows that I am cute), not human love.
The same children are brought up by their parents, how can the gap be so big!
Guo Fu grew up in an early environment, and I envy him to death. He was born with only three generations, one chivalrous second generation.
Grandpa is five lines of gossip, a magical Taoist, and Huang, who knows all about economic soldiers. Dad is Guo Jing, a martial arts expert and a chivalrous man admired by the world. There is also a mother who guarantees IQ 160, the biggest gang leader. As a standard, she has a pair of self-objects (Wu brothers) around her, who grew up in the picturesque Peach Blossom Island (where the air is fresh and there is no smog, and the houses there are also very casual)
Such a good growth environment has grown up a woman with many personality defects. Irritability and lack of emotional control, inferiority and emphasis on egoism, lack of self-confidence and lack of independence and determination. ......
When she grew up, Guo Fu married Yeluzi. Yeluqi, a gifted scholar in Zhong Yi, is both civil and military, combining Guo Jing and Huang Rong. Yeluzi is a royal family. If it weren't for the national subjugation of Qidan, it is estimated that one hundred people would despise Guo Fu. After fleeing to DaSong, she took the position of Beggars' Sect Leader in Huang Rong, and naturally married Huang Rong's daughter. This means that a declining man from other provinces and cities married the only daughter of a rich second generation in Beijing, and then ... (200 words omitted).
Guo Fu's psychological development in his whole life can basically be summarized in one sentence: he found a new psychological parent to get married and start a family, and he never divorced from the theme of playing with his parents all his life.
Guo Fu's story tells us a psychological truth: children are overprotected by their parents, grow up in an environment lacking reality and frustration, and their psychological structure lacks elasticity and various psychological adjustment functions, either satisfied with illusory arrogance or collapsed in a sense of powerlessness in reality.
The above is a bit abstract. Let me explain: As you can see from the name, Fu Yao means lotus and beauty, so you can't expect this child to inherit the mantle and follow the responsibility. Huang Rong, Guo Jing, wandering the rivers and lakes, licking blood, went through hardships. Mei Chaofeng, Ouyang Feng, Yang Kang and Qiu made many enemies, even Huang Dou almost killed Guo Jing. It is difficult to make a positive result. With such love crystallization, of course, it is especially cherished and protected. In this way, as the second generation of Xia, he has never felt a sense of accomplishment and existence because he has independently completed any wonderful moments, but only because he is the daughter of Guo Jing and Huang Rong. Everyone hugged her and coaxed her parents, a soldier and a king. She has never been exposed to intrigue and the law of the jungle in reality. Her life experience is basically one kind: "This is Guo Daxia's daughter, and everyone gives her face!" "Such a growing environment makes it impossible for her to master what to do when she grows up, how to survive when she is weak, and how to control when she is strong. Thus, Guo Fu's fate becomes: either she continues to be regarded as Guo Daxia's daughter and gets the satisfaction of being cared for and protected, or she feels really helpless in the face of smallness and lack.
As mentioned earlier, it is not difficult to understand that Guo Fu fell in love with young and frivolous Yang Guo. Yang Guo has what she yearns for most: independence. Yang Guo doesn't need to be anyone, just be himself. Guo Fu can only be Guo Daxia's daughter.
By contrast, Guo Xiang is lucky. Guo Jing, Huang Rongsheng and Guo Xiang, who have been in rivers and lakes for a long time, are not as nervous as they were in their early years. Xiangyang, Guo Xiang, is a city guarded by parents with their lives. Metaphorically speaking, it is the expression and inheritance of parents' voices. Guo Xiang is fortunate to participate in the real life of his parents.
"Participation in real life" is abstract. Explain:
Mom and Dad will try their best to protect you, but they may not always succeed (Guo Xiang Jr. was taken away by Li Mochou). If mom and dad can't protect you, don't be afraid, don't give up (no breast milk for the time being, drink leopard milk first), because mom and dad will definitely make a comeback and try to make up for it (Huang Rong took Guo Xiang back after many twists and turns).
Mom and dad will play with you when they are free, study with you, and practice sword with you, but only if they are free, because your father is busy thinking about guarding Xiangyang every day, and your mother will help your father rack his brains. So, when mom and dad are free, you can use your imagination and play with others.
You snuggle in your mother's arms, you lean on your father's back and ask what the world is like. Parents will no longer tell you: this is a peach blossom in paradise on earth, your father's dragon is invincible in the world, your mother's beggar gang leader is obedient, your grandfather's sword and dragon are lost, and your master's nine-fingered beggar gang is aboveboard ... Parents will tell you: Mom and Dad can't explain why there are people fighting, and why there are people fighting, but we know that if the Mongolian army breaks the city, the people will suffer, and mom and dad are not completely sure. The world is not perfect, just like Xiangyang city wall, but as long as we are together for one day, it is good to be happy. If one day the city is destroyed, you can practice hard with heavenly sword and inherit the spirit and personality of your parents. There is a good saying-if two kinds of feelings last for a long time, it is still a matter of time.
......
Later, there was the story of Guo Xiang Yang Guo, the hero of Jianghu and the King of Golden Wheel.
Guo Xiang has a mature self-structure, full of caring quality and selflessness, as well as wisdom and affection.
I didn't choose the name by myself, but I came up with it carefully in my heart. Guo Fu and Guo Xiang hinted at two attitudes of parents towards their children. The difference between Fu and Xiang is the difference between a beautiful ideal and the real world. Perhaps, for children, the greatest luck is that they can "participate in real life."
The author introduces:
Kui, born in Beijing, is the founder of Teacher Kui's studio, the founder and current director of Zhonghe Psychology -ACI International Psychoanalysis Training Center, and an ACI International Registered Senior Psychoanalyst (ICSPC); Engaged in modern psychoanalysis teaching and research for more than ten years; Committed to the practice and dissemination of psychoanalysis in China all the year round, he has treated more than 600 cases and trained nearly 100 qualified psychological counseling and training practitioners. Mr. Kui Gong Jie, a teacher, has changed from a refined male god worshipped by refined students to a refined uncle worshipped by many students. On the road of psychoanalysis and communication in China, Mr. Kui devoted himself to training many successful psychological counselors, psychology lecturers and psychology-related psychologists. Students nicknamed Mr. Kui as Mr. Kui, and often compiled the wonderful contents of Mr. Kui's lectures into quotations. Over the past four years, the studio has trained nearly 100 qualified psychological counseling and training practitioners, and sent lecturers to Dongcheng CDC, CRRC Real Estate, Haier Group, Guiyang Kaiyang Education Bureau, Happy Childhood National Alliance Kindergarten and other cooperative units to provide psychological counseling, psychological training, employee care and other services for employees of cooperative units.
Personal experience:
He studied classical and modern psychoanalysis in Institute of Psychology, Chinese Academy of Sciences and East China Normal University.
20 15 took over as director of neutralization psychology.
In 20 16, he led the team to set up the Zhonghe Psychology -ACI International Psychoanalysis Training Center to provide professional psychological counseling and treatment for people who are suffering from emotional distress, provide a platform for students who intend to become psychological counselors to study and practice, and provide sufficient psychological oxygen for the public and psychological enthusiasts.
From 2065438+07 to 2065438+08, the curriculum system of "R&D and Psychology-Trainees" was designed, aiming at promoting teaching activities through research, activating personal growth through research, improving consulting ability through research, and cultivating psychological counselors with extensive experience perspectives and research-based learning ability.
20 19 designed and developed psychology courses and psychology popular science courses, and made a large-scale network platform, psychological interest courses and activities, constantly infiltrating and expanding into cooperative institutions. Professional courses integrate case drills and case supervision, expressive force and creativity training, group activities and self-awareness, and adopt the form of monthly training, emphasizing the organic combination of continuity and variability, aiming at cultivating psychological professionals with consulting teaching ability and unique personal style.
Excerpt from Quotations from Mr. Kui:
l？ Don't panic about your enthusiasm, don't be nervous about your fragility, don't be shaken by your unreasonable troubles, and leave when you don't need me. -about the existence of a good object
l？ Love is an emotional activity that allows individuals to consume constantly. Individuals who lack elasticity or flexibility have difficulty in controlling this emotion and tend to be internally exhausted. So individuals can turn it into an attack, no longer need to continue, but also keep the object of love away, thus protecting themselves doubly.
l？ Children are exposed to temptation for a long time and stay in the satisfaction of pleasure, so they can't learn how to construct a happy experience. When you grow up, you will fall into tension and guilt. When I am nervous, my boss always doesn't want to do business, and when I feel guilty, my boss always does not do business.
l？ When I love you, you are in heaven; When I hate you, you are in hell and my youth is burning. When I love you or hate you, you are in this world, and I tend to mature.
l？ I am a soldier, invincible, but I am tired of war-nothing is more sad than this.
l？ Everyone longs for such a relationship: the balance between giving and receiving, fatigue and sadness are worth it, love with heart, pain with heart, true self and true partner. Only later, most people can't stand the disappointment after longing and turn their attention to money, status, or various luxuries.
l？ A life, which exists with you in the field, allows you to experience your sense of cohesion in space and continuity in time, inspires any one or more of your potential ambitions, ideals and talents, realizes that this life will change your inner world forever, and is willing to do so. This experience can be defined as-? Love.